Hey Asshole (S)

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted
She/her
30
September 25
Petalburg
heterosexual
HBIC Director
Council
tear me to pieces
skin to bone
5'6" height
5'6" height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
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2,714 posts
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TAG WITH @penelope
PENELOPE LIVY
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON Apr 8, 2022 19:28:51 GMT
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Not more than a two weeks ago, Penelope Livy, head director of HBS, was told something her coworker found particularly "funny". And what was that funny little tidbit? Well, apparently some low-life had been jamming their online movie review articles with their "take" and "personal feedback". And, apparently, he had done this not once, not twice, but 14 different times. At this point he even held his own following within the comment sections of their entertainment articles.

And what was Penelope's response to this?

"Fuck this guy."

So, off she went. From colleagues to the dms of friends she hasn't spoken to in a year-- the woman went through every method possible to discern the asshole's identity. All until it became crystal clear.

April 4th, 2022.

The casual afternoon sun was still blazing far up in the sky, and the streets of Slateport City had fell into a silent lull as people continued to fiddle away at work, or spend their productive hours someplace inside. Penelope, who had thrown on a pair of dress pants and a white blouse, fell in the ladder category. Or, at least, she was about to.

Clunky brown brief case in hand, the woman pushed through the windowed doors of the cafe and sent her eyes into immediate work. This lasted merely 2 seconds.

Bingo.

A flurry of decisive footsteps were followed by the rustling of papers. Then, with one solid swoop, she grabbed and placed a whole stack of them at the center of a man's table. 's table.

"Recognize these?"

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played by

socks

litton wickham
he/him
20
september 25
lumiose city, kalos
???
webnovelist / council assistant
civilian
if desire is the heart’s intransigent verb.
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nagi miwa
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON Apr 10, 2022 15:28:31 GMT
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nagi respects hbs' ethos. understands the importance of having an alternative voice competing with the mainstream news media. but it's not his fault that they keep publishing some truly horrendous reviews about the films they cover — and if he had something to say about it (multiple somethings, on fourteen separate occasions), well, the comments section is easy enough to scroll past.

after all, what is a nerd if not a collection of obnoxious opinions blasted over the internet?

(or maybe that's just nagi. it's probably just nagi.)

he just never expected his opinions to catch up with him — and certainly not in the form of a fiery-haired woman in business casual attire, cornering him at his booth in a cafe he’d only just begun to frequent.

nagi blinks down at the papers scattered over the table, his eyes drawn to the topmost sheet. the words, printed in clear black ink on white paper, glare up him. he remembers them like it was yesterday. because it was yesterday, when he’d taken a break from outlining the upcoming chapter of tales, and warmed up his writing with a strongly-worded comment to the latest hbs entertainment column.

pen still pressed to his notebook, ink slowly pooling into a blotch where he had been dotting an i, nagi’s gaze flicks between the papers and penelope. he weighs his options. and, slowly, looking halfway between penelope and the water stains dotting the wooden table, he opens his mouth in reply.

“... i have no idea what you’re talking about.”


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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted
She/her
30
September 25
Petalburg
heterosexual
HBIC Director
Council
tear me to pieces
skin to bone
5'6" height
5'6" height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
2,714 posts
part of
TAG WITH @penelope
PENELOPE LIVY
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON Apr 16, 2022 4:26:19 GMT
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Penelope's face nearly splintered at the seams when he adamantly proclaimed his innocence.

This fucking kid.

"You don't, huh?" She barked out a laugh, short and bitter. It was the most cowardly response possible, but that was to be expected from your typical anonymous online critic.

With a huff, the woman slid herself into the opposite booth seat. She didn't expect the guy to right out announce himself, nor did she need that from him. Rather, she had a different objective in mind for their meeting. A more profitable objective that warranted a personal one-on-one meeting, such as this.

"Alright then, so you're not him." She plopped her elbows onto the table and began intertwining her fingers. "Tell me then. What did you think of Adam Samdler's new film, Jack and Jill? I thought it was pretty decent."

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played by

socks

litton wickham
he/him
20
september 25
lumiose city, kalos
???
webnovelist / council assistant
civilian
if desire is the heart’s intransigent verb.
awards
353 posts
nagi miwa DOLLARS
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TAG WITH @nagi
nagi miwa
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON Apr 17, 2022 14:34:53 GMT
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at penelope’s pronouncement, nagi's face goes on a thousand-mile journey in a single blink, flickering from befuddlement, to recognition, to disgust, settling finally into a grim rictus of horror.

"are you insane? ah, shit—"

face-first into the pitfall laid for him, falling hook, line and sinker.

he slaps a hand over his mouth, and scrambles for recovery. it's not too late to recant his exclamation; it's simple enough to say meh, throw in a noncommittal shrug, pack up his stationery and flee for the anonymity of the hills.

and then, what, be remembered as the man who likes shit movies?

it's a stain on his conscience, and an insult to his taste that he just. cannot. abide.

“i think,” he says, mouthing each word slowly and deliberately, a burglar dismantling a bear trap. “that it is a movie without merits. you are, of course, entitled to your own opinion.”

your shitty, terrible, incorrect opinion, is what he might say, if he were an ornery nerd behind a keyboard. which he isn't.


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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted
She/her
30
September 25
Petalburg
heterosexual
HBIC Director
Council
tear me to pieces
skin to bone
5'6" height
5'6" height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
2,714 posts
part of
TAG WITH @penelope
PENELOPE LIVY
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON Apr 25, 2022 17:50:15 GMT
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The flurry of emotions that befell upon him was amusing in more ways than one. It confirmed exactly what she already knew: a nerd are prideful to a fault. She would know, being one herself and all.

"Agree to disagree," She smiled, devilishly. A simple solution in most disagreements. But Penelope Livey wasn't looking for a fruitful resolution between them. No, she desired victory instead.

"I only mention it, because my network-- Hoenn Broadcasting station, I'm assuming you've at least heard of it -- is planning on publishing a review for it next week. 'A must watch, instant comedy classic' is what we're calling it."

Her head nestled into the warmth of her curled up fist, and from there she stared, almost mockingly, at the man. "I wondering how many people might read it. 100,000? 200,000? Maybe more?"


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played by

socks

litton wickham
he/him
20
september 25
lumiose city, kalos
???
webnovelist / council assistant
civilian
if desire is the heart’s intransigent verb.
awards
353 posts
nagi miwa DOLLARS
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TAG WITH @nagi
nagi miwa
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON May 1, 2022 16:11:57 GMT
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[nospaces]
[attr="class","naggy"]
[attr="class","top"]

the logical, detached part of nagi's brain recognises that he's being toyed with; that there's a ploy at work here too obvious to be ignored. his monkey brain, on the other hand, is screaming. [break][break]

"what?" he gapes. mouth opening and closing like a beached goldeen. "no."[break][break]

no. nononono. what kind of self-respecting reporter could even begin to write that? it's drivel. it's an outright pack of lies. it's a crime against good sense, good taste, and humanity.[break][break]

his hand tightens convulsively around his pen.[break][break]

"why? — for clicks?" he sputters. incredulous. irate. monkey brain yelling bloody murder and colorful invectives against hbs’ journalistic integrity. ”that’s cheap. clickbait? that’s a new low, even for hbs.”[break][break]

ah. hold on— [break][break]

fuck. [break][break]

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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted
She/her
30
September 25
Petalburg
heterosexual
HBIC Director
Council
tear me to pieces
skin to bone
5'6" height
5'6" height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
2,714 posts
part of
TAG WITH @penelope
PENELOPE LIVY
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON May 6, 2022 3:34:22 GMT
PENELOPE LIVY Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","minimal"]
[attr="class","top"]

Checkmate, film nerd.
[break][break]
A devilish smile curled further up her cheeks as her eyes brightened at the taste of victory.
[break][break]
"Even for HBS," she innocently echoed back, head tilting ever-so-slightly to her right. "My, what an interesting choice of words. It actually reminds me of something. Ah, what was it again?"
[break][break]
She allowed the obvious question to linger between them for a few seconds too long before slowly lifting her head off her fist. Pushing the screenshot papers forward once more, she reached across the table and pointed out one of the particularly longer paragraphs from the rest.
[break][break]
'that’s a new low, even for hbs.”

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] [break]


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socks

litton wickham
he/him
20
september 25
lumiose city, kalos
???
webnovelist / council assistant
civilian
if desire is the heart’s intransigent verb.
awards
353 posts
nagi miwa DOLLARS
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TAG WITH @nagi
nagi miwa
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON May 9, 2022 14:55:58 GMT
nagi miwa Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","naggy"]
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the screenshots are a dramatic, but ultimately unnecessary flourish. nagi remembers. [break][break]

the realisation had sunk along with his stomach, the moment the sound of his words had filtered back in through his thick skull. their nostalgic, familiar cadence bringing him back to that night, weeks ago, when he had hunched over on the rickety chair in his motel room and said the exact same words to himself — and decided to immortalise them in the comment section of hbs’ entertainment page. [break][break]

“fuck,” nagi says, with a writer's consummate grace and eloquence.[break][break]

but he stood by his judgement then, and stands by it now. this is a whole new low — like a wellspring of bad taste, hbs hits rock bottom and keeps digging. [break][break]

if he’s going down, he’s going down as a man of reasonable standards. stalwart. stupid.[break][break]

“fine,” he says, setting his pen down on the table. his eyes stay locked on the smudge of black where the ink had bled through the thin paper. “i’ll bite. so what if it's me? — are you suing for libel?”

[break][break]

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Captain

Penny, the coveted
She/her
30
September 25
Petalburg
heterosexual
HBIC Director
Council
tear me to pieces
skin to bone
5'6" height
5'6" height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
2,714 posts
part of
TAG WITH @penelope
PENELOPE LIVY
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON May 10, 2022 4:28:50 GMT
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[nospaces]
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A confession.
[break][break]
That was all she needed from this internet-dwelling man, or at least, it was the key she needed to unlock her true objective. Leaning back into the booth's cushion, Penelope smiled down at him, her eyes lit with a newfound zeal for success.
[break][break]
"No, nothing like that." She chuckled. Libel. As if. "What I want is you, actually."
[break][break]
Someone with a knack for writing compelling movie reviews, and possibly more.
[break][break]
"You hate our review, right? Then change them. Come work for HBS-- we offer competitive pay, flexible hours, the whole nine yards. And, best of all, you'll actually be writing out to an audience. Instead of, like, 10 people."

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] [break]


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socks

litton wickham
he/him
20
september 25
lumiose city, kalos
???
webnovelist / council assistant
civilian
if desire is the heart’s intransigent verb.
awards
353 posts
nagi miwa DOLLARS
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TAG WITH @nagi
nagi miwa
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON May 14, 2022 4:29:05 GMT
nagi miwa Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","naggy"]
[attr="class","top"]

work for —[break][break]

“ — what?”[break][break]

nagi’s mouth gapes wide enough to fit a healthy spoonful of flies. [break][break]

“you’re actually insane.” [break][break]

he draws back from the table. his narrowed eyes meet penelope’s at last, looking properly at her for the first time in their conversation. he studies her silently, for a quiet, still moment, before he sweeps his gaze over the rest of the cafe.[break][break]

he’s not sure what he’s expecting to find. a camera crew hidden in the next booth over; a jack-in-the-box with a spring-loaded punching glove. but there’s nothing there, besides the barista behind the counter, the thin mid-afternoon coffee crowd — and penelope, leaning back in her seat, eyes alight, smile triumphant, a novella’s worth of nagi’s late-night mistakes scattered out on the table between them both. [break][break]

“... this is a lot of effort to go through for a joke,” he says at last.

[break][break]

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played by

Captain

Penny, the coveted
She/her
30
September 25
Petalburg
heterosexual
HBIC Director
Council
tear me to pieces
skin to bone
5'6" height
5'6" height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
2,714 posts
part of
TAG WITH @penelope
PENELOPE LIVY
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON May 16, 2022 19:36:32 GMT
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Shock was a natural response. Not many people are quite used to her forward way of dealing business. Offer letters, proper emails -- they worked, of course, but she always held a preference for impromptu meetings like this. Meetings where she specifically seeked one our, already aware of the talents they possesses.
[Break][break]
It never failed to remind her how she first got an internship with HBS and how similar the situation was.
[Break][break]
"What do you do now? Freelance work?" Her eyebrow quirked upward, curious. There was nothing wrong with freelance work, but she was also well aware of it's disadvantagous.
[Break][break]
Instability. Pay rate. Stress. It was enough to burn any passion out to a crisp.
[Break][break]
"At HBS, you'll be paid fairly for your work." She paused. Then, with a second spent reconfiguring her approach, she continued,"We like you, Nagi, and we can see how much we'd mutually benefit from one another."


[break][break]

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socks

litton wickham
he/him
20
september 25
lumiose city, kalos
???
webnovelist / council assistant
civilian
if desire is the heart’s intransigent verb.
awards
353 posts
nagi miwa DOLLARS
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TAG WITH @nagi
nagi miwa
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON May 17, 2022 16:05:43 GMT
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[nospaces]
[attr="class","naggy"]
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"i — " word-vomit my overactive imagination onto the internet and somehow get paid for it " — freelance, yes." [break][break]

the unerring arc penelope’s nail hits home. tales earns nagi enough to get by — more money than he could have dreamt of when he typed that very first “the” in his word document. but it’s not much. and not always. [break][break]

he has clenched his teeth through the roller-coaster of his web traffic analytics long enough to know how easily fortunes change. wondering if this chapter will be the day the tide turns: the vagaries of search ranking algorithms turning against him; a last-straw change in story direction that drives away the rest of his readers; his haphazard grasp of literary techniques catching up with him at last. [break][break]

nagi wavers. [break][break]

“do you regularly offer job opportunities to people who lambast your journalistic ethics?” he asks. it’s a last-ditch protest, clinging to the faltering remains of his natural scepticism. why me?

[break][break]

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[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-litwick"]



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Captain

Penny, the coveted
She/her
30
September 25
Petalburg
heterosexual
HBIC Director
Council
tear me to pieces
skin to bone
5'6" height
5'6" height
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
awards
2,714 posts
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PENELOPE LIVY
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON May 29, 2022 22:32:30 GMT
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She laughed. A short, genuine laugh.
[break][break]
"Only when they're good at it," She shrugged. "You don't have to answer me now. Think on it, then come back to me when you're ready."
[break][break]
Fishing out a white card from her breast pocket, the woman slid it across the table, making the pile of paper fumble around in the process.
[break][break]
The card read:
[break][break]
Penelope Livy[break]
HBS Lead Reporter[break]
Lilycove City, Hoenn.[break]
xxx - xxx - xxxx[break]
[break][break]
"Call me whenever."
[break][break]
She paused, her eyebrows quirking upward. She was all-too-familiar with this look o skepticism he gave. It honestly reminded her of herself when she was younger and brimming with dreams.
[break][break]
"You're writing... It's good. Great, even. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be here talking to you."

[break][break]

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played by

socks

litton wickham
he/him
20
september 25
lumiose city, kalos
???
webnovelist / council assistant
civilian
if desire is the heart’s intransigent verb.
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353 posts
nagi miwa DOLLARS
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nagi miwa
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON May 31, 2022 12:49:01 GMT
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nagi reads the name and title on the card. lets out a small, quiet "ah?". reads it again. blinks through the slowly-sinking realisation that he has been calling the lead reporter of an up-and-coming broadcasting station insane. [break][break]

but it’s a judgement further reinforced by her unexpected praise. nagi experiences a reflexive surge of warmth — and an accompanying wave of confused disbelief. his eyes fall to the papers before him, where, in one comment, he calls the hbs review in question “disconsolate drivel” and “written with a taste so contrarian the writer must sustain themselves on a diet of fresh dirt.”[break][break]

this writing? [break][break]

but.[break][break]

penelope’s unorthodox approach has piqued his interest. it is an odd gut feeling, one he knows to be baseless, ungrounded in any fact or any knowledge of her or hbs: but he has a feeling that he wouldn’t mind working for her. [break][break]

he sets the name card down in his notebook, clipping it securely between its pages. [break][break]

“... we’ll see,” he answers, holding penelope’s gaze. a faint trace of bewilderment still colours his tone. “and. uh. thanks?” [break][break]

his gaze flicks down again at the teetering pile of papers. and because he is a fault-finding, petty contrarian, he says —[break][break]

“are you going to recycle these, or…” [break][break]

[break][break]

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[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-litwick"]



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played by

SHIV

GONGAGER
he/him
25
October 13
GONGAGA
gongaga-romantic
gongager
gongago
me?
gongaga
808 height
808 height
WHERE ARE UNOVA REMAKES
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38,933 posts
shiv DOLLARS
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shiv
Hey Asshole (S)
POSTED ON Jun 5, 2022 8:05:41 GMT
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[attr="class","omacceptedtop"]THREAD COMPLETE!

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YOU RECEIVE THE REWARDS BELOW:[break]


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