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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 2:08:58 GMT

“Why would they say that? What kind of fucked-up—” he trailed off, before realizing the other wasn’t looking at him anymore.

“What—why—” he continued to stammer, unable to properly find the right words to put together, because—

Everything, until that moment—

Everything felt…

“And you still believe them? You’re no longer in Galar, you’re all the way out here, in Hoenn! They have no power over you now!”

Alexei shook his head.

While on somewhat opposite ends of the scale, fact of the matter was that both of them had skeletons in the closet, just that the other had even worse ones than he did.

“You can… you can let all of that go. All of it. All of the… all of the abuse, all of the… all of the everything they’d done to you. That’s why… that’s why you’re out here.”

He had to stop for a bit, taking a deep breath.

“That’s why we’re out here. To start over. To rebuild. To move on, to move forward, to—”

He couldn’t control himself anymore, and before he could yell at his brain to slow down and take a second look, the arms that were on Memo’s shoulders just a few moments ago found themselves wrapping around the other.

“That’s why… you’re here now. They can’t touch you out here. They can’t reach you.”

And I fucking swear I’ll fight them to the death if they ever dare come here to finish what they started.

takes place the same day as ‘leave the light on’, basically: the aftermath

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Memo

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 2:34:01 GMT

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“I… don’t know,” he said, feeling miserable. “I don’t think I believe them. I did for a while. I don’t know.” And he doesn’t. That’s the end-all-be-all truth.

You can let all of that go.

His neck cranes forward a bit so his forehead is resting on Alex’s chest-- it’s a grounding point of contact, necessary, as he closes his eyes against impending tears. But then Alex is hugging him-- really, truly hugging him, and he tilts his head so his cheek is pressed against Alex’s chest instead, instinctively returning the embrace with one of his own, just a little tight and with just a little forward pull.

“I just… when you mentioned your parents locked you up at home, my first thought was that’s because they were worried about you.” It sounded bitter and vile, treasonous coming off of his tongue. “But it’s not. It’s not okay. That’s not how things work. And I felt gross and icky because I used to excuse the things my parents did, too. For a long time. We all did.”

‘We’ being his multitudinous siblings.

He squeezes a little bit tighter. He’s coming back to himself, little at a time.

“I didn’t mean to have a meltdown on you.” The last bit comes out as a snicker, and he smiles against Alex’s chest. “Sorry.”

[newclass=.samcam] [/newclass][newclass=.samcam b] color: #d49736; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: .5px; [/newclass][newclass=.samcam i] color: #d49736; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: .5px; [/newclass][newclass=.samcam u] text-decoration: none;border-bottom: dashed 1px #d49736; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: .5px; [/newclass][newclass=.samcam a] text-transform:uppercase!important;font: 800 15px Poppins!important; [/newclass]

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 3:28:13 GMT

“Worried? I already had a suspicion they wanted to hide me away from everyone, from everything—and then just… you know… erase my existence once I died. But there was no fucking way I was going to give them the pleasure of doing that,” he mentioned quietly.

But there was a savage undertone with the words he’d just said.

“That’s why I decided to take shit in my own hands, once I knew I could make the trip,” he went on, his arms still wrapped around the other—even if he felt the tiny little pull that meant Memo had hugged him in turn, he still kept his arms tight around the other.

“I knew at that point, that there was nothing else for me back home.”

And besides… his older sestra had left before he did, and then the younger followed not too long after he disappeared.

Little by little, all three of them would eventually spread their wings and depart from Unova, determined to find their own paths in the world.

“We’re out here now. We made this decision ourselves. And there’s nothing that can change that.”

takes place the same day as ‘leave the light on’, basically: the aftermath

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Memo

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 4:50:23 GMT

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“Why on earth would they want to hide you away?” He tilts his head up, now, no longer on the verge of tears; all at once, he’s back to his old self-- his overconfident, fearless, jump-in-with-both-feet self.

He reaches up and gently touches Alex’s face, running his thumb over the curve of his cheek.

“That’s stupid. They’re stupid. You’re incredible.”

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 15:03:32 GMT

“You… you know that thing about bubble kids? Like, they can’t get in touch with anything otherwise they end up being more of a danger to… themselves?” he began with a very obvious bitter undertone.

“That was… that was me. They actually got my shit wrong the first time,” he dropped off with a bit of a snicker.

“Fucking thought I was just an anemic little child because I was so pale even when I was so young.”

Once he’d gotten started, there was… there was no stopping him talking about the entire thing.

“So they thought it was just that, me needing a lot more iron in my diet. But then, well, you know how kids are when they start exploring shit. Running around, climbing trees and shit? Well, that’s when they realized they were… they were absolutely wrong.”

There was an unnatural silence after that.

He wondered if Memo wanted to hear the rest of the sad, sordid tale…

takes place the same day as ‘leave the light on’, basically: the aftermath

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 16:59:12 GMT

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He hooked tendrils of silver-gold hair behind Alex’s ear, frowning as he spoke. Through it all he was quiet, clinging with one arm, being held in return, and listening.

It was unfair, to him, how much of Alex’s life had been lost as the result of a simple medical condition. It was just like deafness or blindness or diabetes or anything else like that-- those people still lived, still got to live. There were just precautions.

“You just had to learn to be careful, is all,” he said, barely a whisper, because he had a horrible feeling about what was coming next.

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 17:48:19 GMT

“Careful? You could say… I was asking for it, you know,” he said with a hint of a savage cackle in his voice.

“Climbing trees? Running around with the other kids playing soccer? Sports? All of that shit, cut off from me. I was literally ostracized because of this.”

He then unhooked one arm from the hug to gesture to himself, before continuing.

“Sometimes I would deliberately get into trouble to see what they’d do. See if anyone cared… but only one of my sestras did, and that was before she ran away to be with… to get married with one of the other kids from our high school.”

Oh, kris flynn-edwards.

Him and Victor Wexler.

Those two. They were, in a way, really the first signs that he wasn’t really straight and narrow like all the other boys around him at the time who liked girls.

“I got so sick and tired of being confined in the hospital whenever they’d take me there. I never did like the stench of disinfectant. It… it gets everywhere. And then they said some shit I’m supposed to be on what, preventive maintenance for the rest of my fucking life?”

He then scoffed.

“I’ve made it this far, without any of that… but…” he trailed off.

takes place the same day as ‘leave the light on’, basically: the aftermath

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 18:47:08 GMT

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“You weren’t asking for it,” he insisted, the words coming out with a passion bordering on venom, “you were just-- being a kid. Being, I don’t know, a teenager.” He stepped back, fingers trailing down the front of Alex’s chest, over his collarbones, a gentle, barely there touch against the fabric of his shirt.

“Nobody asks to be mistreated,” he said, wondering if this was dangerous territory, too full of love to care. “You don’t need to be-- locked away like friggin’ Rapunzel.”

He wanted to reach down and take Alex’s hands but he didn’t, yet.

He frowned at that word. Maintenance. Like there were steps Alex should be taking to improve, if not prolong, his lifespan, and wasn’t. Because, like it or not, he had a condition-- and with any condition, there had to be… allowances. Ignoring it wasn’t going to make it go away. Being petulant about it was going to make it go away.

Nothing made him bristle like the word ‘but’, though.

“But…” he prompted, looking up with expectant eyes.

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 19:20:40 GMT

“Exactly. I wanted to be like the other kids, to see what the fuck the fuss was about with soccer. But no. No,” he growled, drawing out the pronunciation of the second ‘no’ before rolling his eyes.

“Any mcfucking contact sport I wanted to try, they told me not to try. Hell, that was basically the entirety of physical education class. Couldn’t fucking ‘strain myself’,” he dropped off to do the extremely sarcastic air quotes around two particular words before allowing himself another very pointed eye roll.

“I was basically demoted to bag guard duty all the fucking time. I just watched them all run. I wanted to climb a tree and just stay in the branches and watch them, but even that was taken away from me.”

He huffed. He was still fucking upset about that.

Which then led to this.

“Is it… is it bad, though. Me, not… you know… doing what they said. About the maintenance-related stuff and shit.”

takes place the same day as ‘leave the light on’, basically: the aftermath

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 19:48:49 GMT

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Funnily enough, it was the part about soccer that got Memo to smile, and he took Alex’s hands up, then, threading their fingers and pressing the warmth of their palms together.

“I could teach you how to play football-- er, soccer,” he said, catching the slip at the last second, “it’s not that hard. Everyone knows how to play it in Galar.”

They could set up a team-- no, a league. A whole football league, if he wanted.

What he wouldn’t do for this man.

The next question made him inhale, and release it in a heavy, measured sigh.

“I-- I don’t know,” he said, honestly, “I’m not a doctor. But, despite the horrible way you had to experience it, you do have a-- a health condition. Lots of people do. Maybe not this specific one, but. Like, my Abuela was diabetic, and she couldn’t have a lot of sugar, and I have a cousin who has Crohns, and she has to get blood transfusions every few months to treat it." He wasn’t just infodumping for fun. He was trying to make Alex understand.

“Maybe… we could revisit the-- the maintenance thing?” he asked, tone gentle. “Because I, for one, would like you to live as long as possible, if not forever.”

Alexei Ivanov

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 20:23:49 GMT

There it was.

Another reminder of his impending mortality.

The shadow of death, hanging over him. Inching ever so closer—but always thwarted, delayed—was his luck about to run out? Who knew?

“I’ve taken so many precautions, you know,” he hummed quietly, this time a tired, bitter smile on his face. “But sometimes… all those precautions aren’t enough. Like…”

He dropped off for a few moments, before a sigh escaped him.

“I… I guess.”

Another quiet beat.

“I’ve been living on borrowed time. I—I should’ve… I should’ve been dead long ago. Fuck, I don’t know. Dead before my sixteenth birthday, maybe. But life had so much to offer… and I can’t enjoy all of it!”

He freed one of his arms to wave around at—something, in general. Like he was trying to make a point.

“Why… why couldn’t I have been born normal, like everyone else.”

takes place the same day as ‘leave the light on’, basically: the aftermath

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 20:29:42 GMT

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Like that time I almost killed you with my stupid bird, I know.

Memo scowled.

“You obviously shouldn’t have been dead a long time ago,” he said, petulant, “because you’re still alive. I keep telling you-- you’re stronger than you think.”

He didn’t know who he was angry at-- the world, or himself, or the hammer strokes of their horrific, terrible maker who saw it fit to give Alex a form he felt was lesser than he deserved.

“The fact is you are how you are, and how you are is great.” That came out wrong. “Not-- ugh. I like you, okay? I like you exactly how you are and I wish. I wish you could, too.”

Alexei Ivanov

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 20:47:41 GMT

“During the time the Unown started appearing… this strange shit, dream mist they called it, began leaking out too. It was like, the damage that the previous Pokémon-like creatures raiding from the space outside of this existence making even more strange shit happen… that purple stuff can make someone’s deepest wishes materialize. I… I saw how a normal ‘me’ was like, Memo.”

He stopped to take a deep breath.

“It was… I wanted that. But… you know. Split stream. I ended up like this, instead.”

How he desperately wanted to be normal, but couldn’t be. He was terrified of how weak his cursed blood made him. Like he was fronting for everyone to see, but deep inside—

He was cracking, cracking, fucking cracking like a mirror endlessly being destroyed and reassembled again, and again—

“I want to be strong. Physically… I can’t be, because I want to do everything, anything and everything to keep this place safe. Hoenn, this place I now call home.”

Another sharp inhale—

“I don’t want to die, Memo. I don’t want to.”

takes place the same day as ‘leave the light on’, basically: the aftermath

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2022 21:48:16 GMT

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He can feel that Alex is starting to come apart again like he had last night-- this morning? What was time, even?-- and he desperately needed that not to happen. He didn’t want to see him go through that, again, especially not now, with him being the cause of it.

“You are strong,” Memo said, voice breaking, because there was just too much emotion to keep in. Maybe if he kept saying it, eventually, Alex would believe it. Maybe. “You’re strong and you’ve done so well. You’ve kept everyone here safe within the grounds of your abilities. Some things-- hell, Alex, I’ve only been here for six months and even I know Hoenn is fucked up beyond belief.”

He stops because his voice is warbling and he swallows a thick chunk of something, squeezing Alex’s hands before he continues.

“There are things you are never going to be able to control-- other dimensions, Legendary attacks, stupid Interdream time travel hullabaloo bullshit. All that stuff affects everyone. The fact is, you are strong and you are doing so well.”

He pulls him in, now, two firm tugs, one on each arm, and crushes his cheek against his chest again, arms wrapping around him.

“Nobody really wants to die, love,” he says, tears wet against the front of Alex’s shirt, “and I certainly am not going to let you do it. Not anytime soon.”

No matter what.

Alexei Ivanov

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POSTED ON Jul 18, 2022 18:23:51 GMT

“Six months? Try being here for eleven years, and the strange shit only started happening like, what, three to four years ago?” he couldn’t resist, still holding onto the other like he was the last person in the whole world.

“It… it wasn’t this bad, at least at first. I… I unfortunately saw someone get incinerated by mystical fire. Alive. Until there was… until there was nothing left,” he continued quietly.

He still had nightmares about that fucking ‘fake’ Ho-oh (or what he thought looked like a Ho-oh) at times.

“It’s like… this entire place, this entire region… is marked. As much as I want to change the course… the course of everything, I feel so tiny. So… so small.”

So insignificant, he added to himself in the back of his mind, but decided not to say anything about the matter.

“It feels… it feels like no matter what we all do, what we try… are we fighting a losing battle? Or are we just that stubborn…?”

takes place the same day as ‘leave the light on’, basically: the aftermath