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i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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TAG WITH @kosei

POSTED ON Oct 7, 2022 15:14:33 GMT

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[attr="class","blboxfl"]

Kosei shouldn't be there. Hell, this was the last place he should be, paying respects to a dead man he didn't know. Well, he did know him. He knew the details he'd been handed when he was given the job.
[break][break]
Of course, little details had been left out that Kosei only found out after the job was done. Details like the man's life, his family, the people left behind after he was gone. It wasn't intended. Hushing someone up didn't have to mean killing, but sometimes things just happened. At some point, that excuse had become as acceptable as any other.
[break][break]
Maybe this was an attempt to beat himself up, but he didn't feel the things he thought he might. Guilt, disappointment, self-hatred — all exceptionally strong, but appropriate responses to an untimely end. Yet he felt more so the sting of realization that it was all entirely too easy to return to that lifestyle he'd forsaken for Miu's sake. Real easy.
[break][break]
It was always strange, not having Miu around as a constant background noise to fuel his life. She was with Enzo, which was the last person he wanted her to be with, but to deny her that was an entirely different event he wasn't yet ready for. "Well... sorry, I guess." He muttered down at the chiseled headstone of Robert Ormond — renowned environmentalist, beloved husband and father. Shit sucked sometimes, he guessed.

[break][break]

+ @nikita | m: AUTUMN'S OMINOUS WIND (WW)

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[attr="class","credit"]milky

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POSTED ON Oct 7, 2022 17:24:37 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","nikitapost"]

[attr="class","nikitaposttext"]

[attr="class","nikitapostpkmn"]

Alolan Ninetales

Nikita's family was dead.[break][break]

The concept seemed so foreign. How was that possible? Just two weeks ago, she had spoken with her brother on video chat, though the interaction had been brief. He had, after all, been so busy with running the operations of their parents' company. And now he was dead.[break][break]

Everything had changed. No longer could Nikita meet with clients to discuss custom prosthetics. No longer did she visit hospitals to discuss contracts. The new Regional Director was handling that. Her job now was envisioning what Wells Prosthetics & Technology might look like in five, ten, even fifteen years. Yet the news of her family's death and the continued ruin of Galar made thoughts of the future impossible.[break][break]

Ever comforted by walks away from home, Nikita found herself in the Outskirts of Slateport City after taking a wrong turn past the Night Market. She had been in the Upper District for a meeting with local shareholders of her parents'... no, of her company and thought a walk through the aforementioned Night Market might settle her whirling mind. She paused mid-step when she realized she was in the slums instead, standing alongside the fence of a graveyard occupying one side of the main road.[break][break]

Nikita had never been to this part of the city before. Rumors abound that only homeless people, the destitute, drug addicts, and petty criminals lived there. Feeling vulnerable in her business attire, she opened a Poké Ball. Her shiny Alolan Ninetales emerged in a flash of light and nuzzled her hand reassuringly.[break][break]

Turning with the intention to return to the Lower District, Nikita froze when she noticed a figure among the headstones. Normally, she would not stop for a stranger, but there was something familiar about the way he carried himself. She stepped toward the fence for a better look; her eyes widened when she realized the man's identity.[break][break]

"It's Kosei," she murmured, shocked that she would run into him again after their random encounter at the berry farm.[break][break]

Nikita hesitated, certain he would rather be left alone if he was mourning someone at their grave. A sudden feeling filled her as she continued to watch him, however. He seemed… lonely. Bereft. And she wanted to make sure he was okay.[break][break]

Taking a deep breath, Nikita walked through the open gate of the cemetery and up the path toward him, her Ninetales following close behind. As soon as he was near, she called out softly to him.[break][break]

"Kosei?"

[break]

[attr="class","nikitapostooc"]

[break]

NOTES

Mission: Autumn's Ominous Wind (WW) | Outfit

BY GUNSMILE

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played by

roux

kosei

he/him

Sept 3

rustboro city, hoenn

pansexual

maker of many mistakes

associate

6'4" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

191 posts

DOLLARS

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TAG WITH @kosei

POSTED ON Oct 7, 2022 18:03:10 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxfl"]

Moral dilemmas were impractical. He’d made a choice and his hands were bloodied with it. Really, it was a simple matter. There was no going back because he’d already fallen in the hole a long time ago. The debts he’d accrued over time were his decision and he had to deal with them one way or another. [break][break]
This was simply the more natural means of handling it. Maybe if he didn’t have a child, he’d be more willing to disregard his well-being and anyone else’s, for that matter. Then again, even though he had a kid, he really wasn’t any better than he’d led himself to believe. It was no more than a nice coat of paint to hide the blood stains beneath.
[break][break]
It was a nasty cycle, which always ended up circling back on him. One step forward, three steps back. Or something, whatever. He was tired. Even Blue was looking depressed in this environment, but the riolu was likely wishing to be anywhere else other than this grim place. This part of the city didn’t bother him. Kosei had certainly been in worse places and, at one time, he’d been the person that people would’ve feared to meet in these streets.
[break][break]
The voice caught him off guard then and he wasn’t able to suppress the jump of his nerves. It was a little ridiculous, feeling like he was caught like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar. He shouldn’t be there, he reminded himself. The fact he was, was stupid enough. He twisted around to see the approaching woman. @nikita was a hard woman to forget and he didn’t often forget faces anyways. Strangely though, this didn’t seem like the place a woman like her would frequent. Though he too also shouldn’t have been there in retrospect so…
[break][break]
“Oh— Nikita, fancy seeing you here.” Considering it had been a brief meet at a berry farm, he’d never anticipated seeing her again though he’d once heard something about similar paths graced by like fellows, or some shit. She was not like him though, even if he was fairly certain that her opinion of him was based off the illusion of a kind father. "Wasn't expecting to see you again."

[break][break]

+ @nikita | m: AUTUMN'S OMINOUS WIND (WW)

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[attr="class","credit"]milky

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POSTED ON Oct 7, 2022 18:22:27 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","nikitapost"]

[attr="class","nikitaposttext"]

[attr="class","nikitapostpkmn"]

Alolan Ninetales

Kosei looked even more beleaguered than when they'd first met, even though his daughter was nowhere in sight. Nikita remembered that he was a single father, so little Miu was likely with a babysitter, she mused. Perhaps that was best, considering his present location.[break][break]

Nikita stopped just a few feet away from Kosei, unsure if she would be intruding by drawing any nearer. She clasped her hands together in front of her, her metal fingers curling around her real ones. "I could say the same, to be honest," she replied, smiling gently. "I barely find time for myself, let alone acquaintances met by happenstance."[break][break]

She let her gaze fall upon the gravestone. Robert Ormond. The name was as unfamiliar to her as the cemetery in which the deceased man lay.[break][break]

"Was he a friend of yours?" Nikita asked tentatively, gesturing. Either a friend or a relative of some kind. Why else would he be there?

[break]

[attr="class","nikitapostooc"]

[break]

NOTES

Mission: Autumn's Ominous Wind (WW) | Outfit

BY GUNSMILE

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played by

roux

kosei

he/him

Sept 3

rustboro city, hoenn

pansexual

maker of many mistakes

associate

6'4" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

191 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @kosei

POSTED ON Oct 7, 2022 19:55:10 GMT

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[attr="class","blboxfl"]

This wasn't exactly a conventional way to meet up with someone again. It wouldn't have been the place he'd chosen, but then again he had met her by chance at a berry farm because his kid kidnapped her pokemon. They seemed to have a knack for this, meeting up under odd circumstances. [break][break]
For a moment, Kosei almost forgot where he was and what he was there to do (why was he there again?). Then she gestured to the grave and his eyes were drawn back to poor deceased Robert. The idiot who didn't know when to stop, who protested against the wrong people and was unlucky enough to have Kosei called to deal with him.
[break][break]
Was he a friend of yours?
[break][break]
It wasn't like he could tell her the truth that. No, I put him here because he was a good person and good people don't live long when faced with bad people. "No, can't say he was. Just... someone I knew. Poor sod died over something dumb." If saving the environment from a corrupt organization counted as dumb (it did not).
[break][break]
"What brings you to these parts?"

[break][break]

+ @nikita | m: AUTUMN'S OMINOUS WIND (WW)

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[attr="class","credit"]milky

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TAG WITH @Deleted

POSTED ON Oct 7, 2022 21:28:31 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","nikitapost"]

[attr="class","nikitaposttext"]

[attr="class","nikitapostpkmn"]

Alolan Ninetales

Kosei's answer was not the one she expected, but Nikita nevertheless felt a pang of sympathy for his loss. Friend or not, it seemed jarring for someone to exist one moment, then cease existing in the next breath. She thought of her brother, who had never exactly been her friend — their existence together had been ruled by competition, even as children — yet the thought of never seeing his face again disturbed her.[break][break]

She felt the distinct prick of unwanted tears in her eyes, prompting her to blink quickly. The last thing she wanted was to suffer a sudden breakdown in front of Kosei.[break][break]

Frankly, she thought she had cried enough these last few nights.[break][break]

"I'm sorry for your loss," Nikita said with a tenderness that surprised even her. Kosei was a stranger. Normally she held in her emotions around other people, but the combination of factors present — her family's recent deaths, the destruction of her homeland, knowing he knew loss too, the somber atmosphere of the graveyard — softened her in a way she had not expected.[break][break]

His question pulled her from spiraling thoughts of death and loneliness.[break][break]

"I got turned around," she admitted, rather bluntly, though a sheepish blush crept across her cheeks at the confession. "I was taking a walk through the Lower District, too lost in my thoughts, and ended up here. How very unlike me."[break][break]

She gave a short, self-deprecating laugh and took the opportunity to discreetly dab at the wetness in the corners of her eyes.[break][break]

"But where are my manners? How have you been, Kosei? And Miu? Is she well?" The thought of the little girl, last seen playing with Grookey, brought a smile to Nikita's face.

[break]

[attr="class","nikitapostooc"]

[break]

NOTES

Mission: Autumn's Ominous Wind (WW) | Outfit

BY GUNSMILE

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played by

roux

kosei

he/him

Sept 3

rustboro city, hoenn

pansexual

maker of many mistakes

associate

6'4" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

191 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @kosei

POSTED ON Oct 8, 2022 20:50:56 GMT

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[attr="class","blboxfl"]

Had this been of version of him years prior, he would have glazed right over the emotion so clearly written on the woman. Years priors, he'd been cold and tactical and emotion never clouded his judgment. Sometimes, he still found himself being trained on regarding other people with empathy. Of course, it had led a lot of problems and heartache with his daughter, being almost entirely incapable of considering what she might be feeling.
[break][break]
There was still, of course, the awkwardness of not knowing how to deal with it. As proven right then when he could quickly recognize the hint of tears in her eyes (hastily wiped away), and the feeling of inadequacy because he didn't know how to fix that. He didn't enjoy things he couldn't control or fix.
[break][break]
"Thank you," He said, despite the fact he didn't deserve that. Her consideration and sympathies were wasted on someone like him. It made him feel guilty because he was lying to her.
[break][break]
"A lot on your mind?" It did feel a little nosey, which wasn't exactly the point, even if he did want to know if there was a way to help. "Oh it's been alright. Miu is spending some time with her...uncle currently." Trying to hide the disgruntled edge to his tone as he repeated the grudging term that Miu unfortunately equated to vincenzo de luca even if the bastard was 100% not her uncle and he'd rather her be with anyone else.
[break][break]
"Would you be willing to walk with me? Company sounds nice right now. Don't have to though."
[break][break]

+ @nikita | m: AUTUMN'S OMINOUS WIND (WW)

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

[attr="class","credit"]milky

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TAG WITH @Deleted

POSTED ON Oct 9, 2022 14:51:17 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","nikitapost"]

[attr="class","nikitaposttext"]

[attr="class","nikitapostpkmn"]

Alolan Ninetales

A strange delight pierced through the tumult of Nikita's emotional landscape when Kosei invited her to walk with him. She had always been lonely, with few friends and fewer family in her life with whom she could feel close. But nothing in her past compared to the utter desolation of being alone in a foreign country, physically cut off from her homeland, orphaned and without the sibling who had been present her whole life.[break][break]

At that moment, the offer of companionship tasted sweeter than honey. Nikita blushed, marveling — not for the first time — how easy it was to be around Kosei, and to speak with him.[break][break]

"I'd love to walk with you," she replied, unable to stop her smile from growing wider. She waited for him to take the lead and pick a direction, at which point she would match his stride and stroll alongside him.[break][break]

Briefly, she thought about putting her arm through his, a sudden and selfish want fueled by the natural craving of a grieving human for another's touch. But she and Kosei weren't close. She didn't know if he would be offended by the forwardness, or if he would be unfazed. Better to keep her hands to herself, as innocent as her desire was.[break][break]

"To say there's been a lot on my mind is an understatement," Nikita admitted with a self-deprecating chuckle. "I told you I work for my parents' company, Wells Prosthetics and Technology. Well, I…"[break][break]

She took a deep, rattling breath, unsure how long she could hold her composure while discussing such a sensitive topic.[break][break]

"I've inherited it. I'm in charge now, after… well, the attacks on Galar — not sure if you've heard — they've reached Wyndon, and…" She swallowed hard, and when she spoke again, her voice was soft, tremulous. "They claimed many lives. My family's included."

[break]

[attr="class","nikitapostooc"]

[break]

NOTES

Mission: Autumn's Ominous Wind (WW) | Outfit

BY GUNSMILE

close tab

played by

roux

kosei

he/him

Sept 3

rustboro city, hoenn

pansexual

maker of many mistakes

associate

6'4" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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191 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @kosei

POSTED ON Oct 10, 2022 14:59:20 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxfl"]

Kosei had never once believed himself reliable. He didn't have a lot of faith in his ability to help or guide or teach, not even with his own daughter. He was fully convinced that he was ruining her little by little. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't wonder if someone else could do better for Miu than he ever could. That was simply the reality of solo parenting though, he supposed, never knowing if what you did was enough because there was no one to look to. Right then though, it was nice to see a light brighten in the woman's eyes as he asked her. It was strange how such a simply sentiment could be so powerful.
[break][break]
Had this been a couple years prior, he would have been far too selfish to bother asking or even perceiving Nikita's needs. Sometimes you just need people, he realized over time. Even if he still refused to request assistance ever. "Good, I'm glad." Maybe he wasn't prepared for what it meant to be around other people. At one time, he'd followed the rules put down for him because that was when he was most comfortable. Engaging with anyone on any level deeper than skin was too much. His parents would have mocked him for even requesting that someone walk alongside him. You grow strong and take the world by yourself, it was a simple but lonely sentiment.
[break][break]
There was a heaviness in the atmosphere he didn't immediately recognize. He was still sloppy with social empathy, even social butterfly Miu couldn't teach him that. "That's a lot of responsibility." He said, pausing before reflecting on that. As she spoke, he felt his expression drop a little. It was cushioned between understanding loneliness and sadness. She had lost her whole family...
[break][break]
"Nikita... I'm so sorry. That.. I can't imagine.." It made sense though now, he imagined that the mind could drift pretty far when weighed down by loss, couldn't it? She deserved right then to be with a far more comforting person than him. It was a little ridiculous to him now, lingering grief over someone whose life he had taken. In truth, he could never imagine losing Miu (never wanted to imagine that).
[break][break]
"I can't imagine going through that, I'm sorry." His own family (his parents, at least) were alive and the same rotten, cold people. They didn't change, but he supposed he hadn't much either. "When did you find out?"

[break][break]

+ @nikita | m: AUTUMN'S OMINOUS WIND (WW)

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

[attr="class","credit"]milky

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POSTED ON Oct 10, 2022 15:53:56 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","nikitapost"]

[attr="class","nikitaposttext"]

[attr="class","nikitapostpkmn"]

Alolan Ninetales

"Thank you," Nikita said quietly in response to Kosei's condolences. It felt odd to express her gratitude for it, though. His company was more than enough — better than words, to be honest. "I found out a few days ago, by email."[break][break]

At the moment, she found she didn't want to rehash the whole ordeal with the Board of Directors. So instead of lamenting how impersonal and cold the delivery of such important news had been, she brushed the thought away.[break][break]

"It's kind of fitting we're here in a graveyard, isn't it?" she mused. "Look, there's a little shrine where we can burn incense and pray for the dead."[break][break]

Sure enough, up the hill in the center of the cemetery, a little stone shrine stood with carved images of Arceus beneath a shingled roof. Though it looked unused, someone clearly maintained it. The ground in front of the shrine was swept clean, and the stone didn't look overly worn.[break][break]

"Shall we go and make a prayer?" Nikita asked Kosei, turning to him with an eyebrow raised.

[break]

[attr="class","nikitapostooc"]

[break]

NOTES

Mission: Autumn's Ominous Wind (WW) | Outfit

BY GUNSMILE

close tab

played by

roux

kosei

he/him

Sept 3

rustboro city, hoenn

pansexual

maker of many mistakes

associate

6'4" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

191 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @kosei

POSTED ON Oct 10, 2022 16:35:48 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxfl"]

"By... email..." He muttered in response, a little taken aback by that. "That's pretty damn insensitive." Maybe it wasn't something he should've mentioned. "Sorry." He added after a moment, not wanting to seem insensitive himself, though he was more than capable of doing that pretty easily. It kind of made him mad for her. His temper however had never proved helpful in the past and he was certain she needed no assistance in that.
[break][break]
It was not an ugly graveyard, despite the place it was located within. Someone clearly took care of it, or at least made an attempt to. Maybe to that person, death was a beautiful thing. A sanctity as strong as marriage and birth. Kosei's relationship with death felt tenuous at best. A little too close for his liking sometimes. "It wasn't the place I would have picked to meet you again, but... does seem fitting."
[break][break]
He couldn't say he was the religious type, regardless of what anyone said. Maybe he was bleak and pessimistic for that, but the idea of an afterlife or a greater being, seemed too good to be true. "If you'd like to, sure." That didn't mean he was gonna turn her down. There was something even a little nice about the idea. Maybe relieving, he didn't know. Even if he felt like a fraud as they approached the shrine. As she had said, there was incense waiting, unlit. A lighter was place onto the pedestal that held the incense. He handed it to her.

[break][break]

+ @nikita | m: AUTUMN'S OMINOUS WIND (WW)

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POSTED ON Oct 10, 2022 17:40:04 GMT

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Alolan Ninetales

The surprise and hint of anger at Kosei's tone caused Nikita to look up at him, though perhaps she shouldn't be alarmed at any display of indignation. Most normal people would deliver news by phone call at the very least, but she'd never known the people involved in her parents' company to have an iota of empathy. Nevertheless, the smile returned to her lips at the thought that even a stranger like Kosei felt bothered by the callousness on her behalf.[break][break]

"It was insensitive," she agreed, her words underscored by melancholy. "But that's what they're like. My family was no exception."[break][break]

They made their way to the little shrine. Nikita accepted the lighter from Kosei and lit a long stick of incense. Immediately, the resin burned with the strong, heady aroma of sandalwood. She buried the wooden end of it in the sand of a large incense burner that stood three feet high; decorations of Pokémon adorned its ceramic body.[break][break]

Nikita was not exactly a religious person, either. Growing up in Galar, she never gave it much thought, like many of her peers. But as she watched the smoke unfurl from the incense, a profound sense of reverence fell upon her. Was it the presence of the shrine? Was it the ritual of lighting incense for the dead? She couldn't tell. But it compelled her to speak more, especially since she, Kosei, and their Pokémon were the only living souls gathered there.[break][break]

"I didn't think I would be this affected by my family's passing, to be honest," she murmured softly. "Growing up with them was… difficult, to say the least. My parents were controlling and had such high expectations for my brother and me. They actively nurtured competitiveness between us. As a result, I never had a good relationship with my brother. At times, I thought I hated them."[break][break]

She sighed, feeling exhausted.[break][break]

"But in the end, I suppose I took them for granted. I thought they would be constant fixtures in my life, so now that they're gone, I find myself even more alone than I was before."[break][break]

There was something comforting about opening up to someone who didn't know her at all, someone who did not have the same expectations as people who'd known her all her life. Still, Nikita felt her cheeks grow warm again the more she spoke.[break][break]

"Sorry," she said, gracing Kosei with a shy, self-conscious glance. "I don't mean to talk your ear off. And I normally wouldn't, it's just… You make it easy, somehow."

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NOTES

Mission: Autumn's Ominous Wind (WW) | Outfit

BY GUNSMILE

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kosei

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POSTED ON Oct 11, 2022 18:54:14 GMT

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"I'm sorry, it's difficult having a family like that." He could understand that, maybe even better than most. Though sometimes he wondered the extent of his empathy, he could at least relate on the complications of family. Then again, his family didn't own a massive company. That expectation for him was limited to military life and there were no alternatives. Obviously, that didn't end up the way they'd hoped. Sometimes, he wondered what would have happened if he'd simply gone along with it. Would he have ended up happier, in the end?
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Kosei watched her in silence then as she lit the incense, a plume of scented smoke coiling off the end as the planted it in the sand. Despite his disassociation with the idea of a god, it was at least a peaceful sentiment. There was a degree of relief and absolution in this act. There was no way though that he could make up for the things he'd done and part of him didn't think he actually wished for absolution. Bad things happened, that was that.
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"That's not your fault though," He said, tilting his head to look at her. "Sounds like you took them for what they were and you can't be blamed if that made you distant." Maybe it was justification, for her or for himself. He didn't know, but he figured it to be true enough. He wasn't exactly an expert, nor was he the person to give insight. His own life was a mess and no attempt to change it had ever blessed him with better circumstances. He couldn't blame his family for that, it was his own fault. That was the difference between them.
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"Stop apologizing, it's fine. I don't mind it at all, actually." His eyes followed the whimsical curl of smoke dissipate in the light breeze. "Having Miu around is a constant background noise, but without her around I'm always surprised how quiet it can be. A little lonely, even."

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+ @nikita | m: AUTUMN'S OMINOUS WIND (WW)

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POSTED ON Oct 13, 2022 0:20:00 GMT

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Alolan Ninetales

Nikita tilted her head at Kosei, considering his words. They were sensible, possessing a down-to-earth quality she inwardly appreciated. During the past few days, she had felt unmoored, like a Drifloon adrift on a tempestuous wind. First Orion Lykos and now Kosei grabbed her tether and kept her from losing sight of reality with just their words.[break][break]

Nikita let out a sigh before nodding in agreement with Kosei. "You're right. None of us could have guessed what happened. I shouldn't feel guilty for my parents' actions that pushed me away."[break][break]

A rueful smile touched her lips, and when she spoke next, her words were tinged with sadness.[break][break]

"Maybe it's less that I grieve for their passing and more that I grieve for the relationship we can now never have. Even if all that had just been the dream of a neglected little girl."[break][break]

The conversation turned to Kosei himself, and Nikita turned to give him her full attention. His admission of his own loneliness brought a furrow to her brow.[break][break]

"You don't have any family here, either? Except for Miu, I mean?" the silver-haired woman asked softly. She could lament her situation all she liked, but to be a single father, carrying all the burdens that came with the role, without any kind of support network? She couldn't imagine it.

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NOTES

Mission: Autumn's Ominous Wind (WW) | Outfit

BY GUNSMILE

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played by

roux

kosei

he/him

Sept 3

rustboro city, hoenn

pansexual

maker of many mistakes

associate

6'4" height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

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