enzo / the proprietor
he/him
thirty-three
april 4
alto mare / sootopolis
bisexual
hotelier
executive
I’m haunted like a wolf. I feed, I feed like a wolf. I’m lost and I’m lonely, I hunger for you only.
sleepwalking [m][bar crawl]
POSTED ON Mar 23, 2023 22:41:16 GMT
[nospaces] [attr="class","petalbase"] [attr="class","star1"] [attr="class","circleoutline1"] [attr="class","starimg"] [attr="class","star2"] “Mmhm, Cortondo.” A simple reply. Idle humming rather than actually speaking much. His scope of his home region was limited. Most kids his age were sent off to school and from there thrust out into the world to study and explore it, then grow. He didn’t get that luxury. He was too busy trying to scrape together and save whatever money his mother or few older siblings made before she spent it on cheap, stupid shit. Or trying to make sure the litany of younger siblings ate that day, or were properly entertaining so that they didn’t go full scale melt down. In most cases, they still did. But he learned how to stretch dollars into each penny, he got good at studying the tics of others until he could preemptively divert disaster. Most importantly, he learned how to carve out his own time so that he stayed sane.[break][break] But eventually even that wasn’t enough for all of the ideas up in his too big head.[break][break] He had never imagined a moment like this one. The desire to share any of this had been locked up so tightly, he wasn’t sure when all of the deadbolts had come undone. But huddled on the bed as they were now, with no more than lamplight, and still fully dressed in their evening attire, something about it felt so stupidly right. It was laughable, really, and the sound crawled up his throat–disbelieving, before he could attempt to swallow it back down. The justification, though, soon drew a sigh to replace the sound. “No, but I did. And I figure they all resent me now, but cutting everything off meant that I didn’t have to think about it.” Even as trapped as he had felt, though, he’d still been far freer than Kosei ever had. His own entanglements were all created for him, rather than forced upon him. Built out of an obligation as one of the elder siblings, instead of a hyper-scrutiny to be a golden child in the eyes of his mother.[break][break] Enzo wasn’t sure she ever looked twice at him if she could help it. Maybe when he was little, he would’ve given anything to have her look at him and see him and care, but it was a hope that shriveled up and died quickly. He’d learned fast the freedom in the lack of supervision over him. He had loved the littles, though, before he’d taught himself to care less, and sever the attachment. It bled over into the way he’d treated Miu from the moment Kosei turned up with her, clueless and overwhelmed. In a way, taking care of her had relieved some of that lingering guilt.[break][break] “Ha. Wouldn’t that be a thought. No, I just came to find…something.” What he’d found, of course, had been Rocket. And eventually, he’d learned how to mesh his goals with the organization. Had fallen out when the first order had crumbled. Then came back when jayden cross turned up in his office with ideas of a new structure. Always innovative, because it suited his interests. “I didn’t tell anyone,” he shrugged, “even now. You’re the first. It made it easier to separate myself from it. That way it wasn’t possible to be used against me.”[break][break]
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