‹ dreadfully › [m]

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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HONEY

MS. DU'MOT
SHE/HER
32
FEBRUARY 14TH
LAVENDER TOWN
HETEROSEXUAL
DEBT COLLECTOR, TORTURER
CO-FOUNDER OF VELVET ROOM
I LIKE MEN ON THEIR KNEES PRAYING UP TO THEIR GOD, SEEING VISIONS OF ME
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LORELEI DU'MOT
‹ dreadfully › [m]
POSTED ON Dec 28, 2022 7:18:17 GMT
LORELEI DU'MOT Avatar
following the ravaging of kanto, it posed itself as a grand vacation spot for those who wished to help 'fund its reconstruction.' this much was true for more gracious, kinder souls. for lorelei, it simply meant the ideal spot for a vacation with her favorite dog of them all. [break]
"such a wonderful region - all razed and rotten."[break]
this was said in reflection to what she saw, casting her gaze over the landscape that was getting back on its feet well enough but still showed various and obvious signs of struggling while doing so. "it reminds me of you." this was said in a manner to praise roman for his broken but reforged manner of being - made stronger than he had ever been before. like a phoenix rising out of fire and ashes - he, too, was a legend among men. lorelei admired that in the blonde man, albeit being the very fire and demolition he had to endure to arise anew. [break]
"cato insisted on a vacation, so here we are. it seemed the most sensible spot to have you out in public," she stated with a subdued warning in her diction of choice, insinuating she already had 'friends' who would not act upon roman asking for help or liberation from his post at her side. the velvet room had strong holds on all things broken apart and scraped of its resources. kanto was no different.[break]
"i think the time off of work will do us both well, seeing as we hardly know what to do with any time away from it. what would you like to do, roman?" not calling him a dog or otherwise, she meant to show some form of affection or at least let him know she saw him for the man he was - even if it was just for this moment.[break]
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@romanl



VACATION TIME MISSION
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‹ dreadfully › [m]
POSTED ON Dec 31, 2022 21:36:54 GMT
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"You really pulled out all the stops on this vacation, huh."

Desolate, ruin, just looking like a pure hellscape. There was nothing worthwhile to the mess that Kanto tried to rebuild from the ashes of. Was there truly any rebuilding at this point? He felt sympathy for the region, because he too was in the process of rebuilding himself. It was a matter of finding all the pieces and making sure that although they had the cracks, they still fit together. He took a sharp inhale before he chose his next words. For a moment, he looked upon Lorelei in some surprise when she addressed him by name. Perhaps it was better for him to dial back the bitterness -- he found it hard not to do so given that this act, despite how restraining it remained, was one out of thoughtfulness.

"Really, thank you."

Such was the first time he hadn't snown the woman any form of animosity since his capture. Perhaps some time to reevaluate everything from the beginning was good for the both of them. He found his heart heavy at this moment of peace between the two of them and, without any prompting, leaned against Lorelei's shoulder and began to shake. No doubt the redhead felt the fabric of her shirt begin to grow damp as the normally stonefaced dog finally found himself breaking down.

"I know I shouldn't feel this way given everything you've told me, but I still can't help but miss them sometimes."

He spoke of his family. While it had been such a long time, at one point he really did love his wife. And even though Lorelei insisted the child that his wife had was not his own, he'd grown attached to her, as well. While he wanted to deny the truth of it all, he'd come to witness it himself: he'd seen his wife with another man, well moved on from his disappearance. The knowledge she'd moved on hurt him to no end. Perhaps it was time he did the same. And the stark resemblance his daughter shared with his wife's "new" lover shook him to his core. Doubt had begun to unravel him. Almost as if a pitiful sight, Roman lifted his head slowly from Lorelei's shoulder and looked upon her in a sense of desperation.

"Love me."

It wasn't a command so much as it was an answer to her question prior. Now that he had a moment away from work, away from fighting his own demons, he felt empty. And even then, he sought out Lorelei as his distraction. No begging to return home, to see his family, but a desperate plea that he wanted her.

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HONEY

MS. DU'MOT
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32
FEBRUARY 14TH
LAVENDER TOWN
HETEROSEXUAL
DEBT COLLECTOR, TORTURER
CO-FOUNDER OF VELVET ROOM
I LIKE MEN ON THEIR KNEES PRAYING UP TO THEIR GOD, SEEING VISIONS OF ME
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LORELEI DU'MOT
‹ dreadfully › [m]
POSTED ON Jan 9, 2023 3:49:09 GMT
LORELEI DU'MOT Avatar
fire has been a long-standing means of fertilization and controlling plant growth, oftentimes transforming the lives touched by it. this was no different.[break]
"you?"[break]
lorelei was no saint, nor was she a therapist or psychiatrist. she had better and bigger things to do than focus on a broken man. even so, roman was no simple man to her. "we'll both learn to do that, together." holding out a hand, she held the brunette close to herself. she didn't pull him harshly into her body like she had various times before, forcing herself on him and taking what she wanted. no, this time she held him gently - as if he were a menagerie too precious to break. she marveled in his transparency and adored his complexity. "if ... you'll have me." this was another warning, albeit a tender one. the dog was at a loss - a quite heavy one. he had been given the last nail in the coffin of his conversion to lorelei's possession and he wasn't coping well. while lorelei knew she would be dealing with the emotional fallout of her actions, she didn't know she would feel her own heart trembling for the shaken soldier.[break]
"i won't tell you not to cry," she started as she wiped at his tears and didn't even mention the stain he would leave on her expensive clothes. "so cry all you want. you have many tears left unshed due to pride and much more." being a stubborn son of a bitch kept him from crying out due to pain. now, however, it seemed his realization about his old life was enough to loosen his tear ducts so why not let them run freely now? lorelei held roman with a tender strength, turning to curl over him as she let him hunch over and let the tears fall. she meant to keep this sight for herself - greedy to the end when it came to him and him alone.[break]
'miss du'mot, we --'[break]
a sharp glare from lorelei sent the help running with their bags. they broke into high gear while she stood there, holding roman in their moment of privacy even while in public. if her money and work couldn't afford them this, then what good was it for?[break]
"look at me, pup." her right hand glided over his left shoulder, pressing down gently before going to hold his throat softly and help his chin tilt itself upward to look at her despite their obvious height difference leaving her much smaller than him. "think of this vacation as if it were for you. i am here to aid you and help you along what you may want to do. first, however, i suggest we go to our suite and see about getting you some rest." offering her hands, she held them out to him for him to take. waiting for him politely, she insinuated she'd walk them over to the place they'd be staying since it was simply a few paces out but she didn't do so before pulling off her thin coat and draping it over roman's head to help hide his tear-stained face. even she could be protective and caring, she supposed.[break]
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@romanl

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‹ dreadfully › [m]
POSTED ON Jan 16, 2023 2:57:46 GMT
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As his head fell covered, he carefully took Lorelei's hands. He'd never seen such a caring side of her, but she'd never seen such an emotionally broken side of him. His grip tightened just a bit on her hands, as if he feared she was an apparition that would simply fade away if he didn't hold her tight enough. He needed someone in that moment, and she was the perfect person for such. She knew him in and out, knew his fears, knew his struggles. Lorelei was the only person who knew him so thoroughly, and part of that notion made him feel guilty. As she lead them towards the hotel they'd be staying at, he followed along.

This was meant to be a vacation, but here he was, hardly up to do much of anything.

Once they reached their destination, he took a deep breath and allowed the jacket to slip off of his head and instead rest on his shoulders. There was no shame in emotion, but thankfully he had halted his tears enough for now. While tracks stained his face and his eyes remained red, Roman's focus fell on getting to their room. In that note, he could be completely vulnerable in front of his partner. He'd never felt so liberal with his emotions, even in his previous marriage. His wife had insisted her own emotional turmoils outweighed his own, leaving him guilty to offer any emotion that wasn't stereotypical of man.

As they reached their room, Roman noted that their bags had arrived before them. What a relief. But with the fact they'd found their way to their destination, Roman locked the door for a sense of privacy, and took the lead to their shared bed. He sat down, and soon took Lorelei's hands to pull her down on top of him. There was no malice in his gestures, simply that of someone who seeked comfort. One arm laid itself around her waist as the other intertwined fingers with her. Such felt like it was taboo, like they shouldn't find themselves in this position, but the other part of it felt right. As though this was exactly what they needed. What he needed.

"I don't want anything from you but your company. I know that in itself is a lot to ask of you given you're so busy but... I need you. At least in the emotional sense."

With that said, his eyes began to shine as if a new wave of tears had begun to wash over him.

"You know so much about me, but here I am, hardly knowing anything about you. Tell me all about what makes you, Lorelei."

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HONEY

MS. DU'MOT
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32
FEBRUARY 14TH
LAVENDER TOWN
HETEROSEXUAL
DEBT COLLECTOR, TORTURER
CO-FOUNDER OF VELVET ROOM
I LIKE MEN ON THEIR KNEES PRAYING UP TO THEIR GOD, SEEING VISIONS OF ME
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LORELEI DU'MOT
‹ dreadfully › [m]
POSTED ON Jan 23, 2023 0:12:28 GMT
LORELEI DU'MOT Avatar
[nospaces]

[attr="class","lorelhold"]
[attr="class","loreholdsalltop"]
[attr="class","loretoplyr"]i like men on their knees

[attr="class","loretophold"]i don't need your roses

[attr="class","loreleibanner"]

[attr="class","loreleibannercolor"]

[attr="class","lorelicon"]

[attr="class","loreleisym"][attr="class","cp cp-rose"]

[attr="class","lorelyrknee"]praying up to their god seeing visions of me i'm a cult leader mind reader heart eater Fear feeder, say I'm your favorite preacher


[attr="class","lorespeaks"]
god, she wasn't good at this.[break][break]
emotionality was something she was never really given the pleasure of exploring in any sense, so it was hard for lorelei to sympathize and emphatize. this was what made her actions and words all the more meaningful, but all the more frightening to herself since she felt like she was treading on thin ice and walking on eggshells all at the same time. roman was so small and frightened at that moment, curled up into her frame as he looked at her longingly for answers. it was like he was using his search into her background as a distraction. this both irritated and shocked her, but she knew she couldn't express either. neutrality was something that was easy for her to show and focus on so she did so, her eyes steady but faintly slanted in an understanding gesture. she had her own restrictions and chains holding her down in her life ...[break][break]
but she never had anyone to break her from it, by force or otherwise.[break][break]
"oh hah ... where do i even start?"[break][break]
lorelei's fingers were gentle, stroking roman's cheek with one palm while her other hand combed through small knots in his hair. she looked deep into his puffy eye, plucking out the other gently with the hand that had been caressing his cheek as to show him he could relax fully - even to the point of removing himself of this trinket. "my father loved flowers," she started, her words sure and firm but her tone wavering as she struggled to find it in herself to recount anything about her own life. much of it was in the past and she liked to keep it that way, given how 'what made her how she was' was perhaps as putrid as how many would view her. "so he deflowered my mother." this sharp contrast in thoughts was to accentuate the rough nature of her parents' joining, both hands now resting gently on him as she idly went about massaging his body. her eyes avoided roman's own, her chin resting on his shoulder as to be able to speak more freely without the pressure of being watched. if he had looked at her then, she wondered how much respect he would lose for her as her eyes trembled where her body could not.[break][break]
"i was the product of careful planning. my father was intelligent and calculating - my mother was beautiful and strong. just like in a pauper and prince story, they had come together ... but it was not out of love. my father had plans for my mother -- big and gruesome plans. he used her sister as means of forcing her into marriage, forcing himself on her to produce a child: me." a pause as she recalled her mother telling her these things bitterly, as if she were the cause of the ruination of her life. it was one of the few things her mother ever did say to her, so how could it not stick? "lily was her name. just like the flower, she saw many gravestones in her life. my father had promised her to take care of her family financially, so long as she stayed at home and was the perfect wife to him. she was hardly let outside, fearing she might wrinkle or deprecate in value if she tanned or had too much filthy outside air. she was perfectly preserved, but her mind was not. quickly, she forgot she had a child. all her time was spent serving my father like a servant and the loss of her last family member meant she had nothing more to rely on but him. there was no daughter, no little lorelei to find joy in no matter if i asked for an audience with her or not. she would keep herself in this small slice of the earth with my father and he would reciprocate and feed into it, calling it 'love.' there was none of said 'love' left for me, but i don't quite care now. i grew up in the hands of nannies and tutors. many of them abused their title as my caretakers to punish me in stead of my parents. they wouldn't come visit me, so they didn't know of the things they would do. even at a young age i was taken advantage of financially - my pocket money would be given as 'lesson payments' or as guilt-ridden presents for having broken something i hadn't and being blamed for it by maids and other staff. like my mother, i didn't get to go outside. i was to make a proper entrance into society as if i were a debutante back in the day, but that day never came." fire churned in her red eyes, signaling the sharp turn of the story. "a fire engulfed the manor one day. it wasn't enough to kill my parents, but many of the lecherous men and greedy women in the staff were compromised. to hide my part in the event, my parents ignored me more than they ever had." a bitter laugh. "i didn't even know that was possible, but i was shipped away out of kanto. this led me to explore studies outside of analytics, math, and science. i explored the musical arts and was proficient in singing. i met a man who shared my interests and made me feel valued at the time since i wasn't quite popular due to my near-feral child levels of socialization. he and i laughed and cried together. i think he's the only one i ever told this story to, aside from now you." she recollected the individual fondly for a moment - his dark hair and equally dark eyes that held so much compassion and understanding --[break][break]
and the obsession with her that was the one moment that made her feel truly seen where she should have been frightened.[break]
"i almost lost my life to his hands. we had been romantically involved, i think, but it was never certain. to him, it was. he grew belligerently angry and tried to do me in by choking me to death. i clung to life, disappointingly enough for you, and awoke sweating and confused." sometimes even now, she wondered what would have happened if she had just let go. perhaps roman would be living a normal, happy life. perhaps she should have bowed her head and followed in her mother's footsteps. "my mother killed herself on my eighteenth birthday. it was the best present i'd ever gotten." a sick smile crept onto her lips at the sweet taste of being able to confirm this verbally. "she had found out that my father had found a rose and grew sick of lilies. once one flower grew too ugly, he replaced her with another. and another. and yet another one. i couldn't keep up with all the names or figures, but i had many mothers. i may still have one now." this was the chilling realization that her father was still alive, though she had oftentimes forgotten such due to having gotten rid of her old name and alliances to distance herself from that life. "the things that make me, 'me', i'm not quite sure. i think it's best to look at others regarding what 'i' am, since 'my' opinion does not matter towards the image of 'me'." this was to say that she believed people should not form their own images, also insinuating she had little to nothing to go off of since she valued others' opinions so little and existed without a sense of self. this left her omnipotent and working without ceasing or tiring, just a perfect chess piece consuming the board whole in her constant push forward in life. "roman."[break][break]
pushing herself away from him just enough to hold him at the full length of her arms, she looked upon him seriously - brows knit and a small scowl on her face as if angry. she was simply being serious and meant to show it.[break][break]
"i hope you realize that you are the one thing that i've come to actively want and seek for myself. you are the one thing, concept, person, and more that i enjoy the most - perhaps the only thing i truly can say i 'enjoy.' i don't say this to make you feel better, but as a fact. this is why i trust you with all this information and ..." on the verge of hyperventilating from how fast her heart was beating at recalling her dead name, she didn't want to say it but it was squeaked out along with the finishing thought: "if i had known you sooner, perhaps i'd know who tora really was." but they were too late. they were here now and lorelei was no longer the 'tor' of before. she was roman's owner, assaulter, and personal demon who would not detach from him no matter what.[break][break]
in an attempt to save her image out of reflex - or perhaps just to turn the table around - she reflected his question back at him. "i know plenty about you, but i've never heard your story from your own mouth. i feel like it would be appropriate for us both to be transparent, given the circumstance and to see if there's something i may have missed that you need to get off your chest."

[attr="class","loredivide"]

[attr="class","loreat"]@romanl





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‹ dreadfully › [m]
POSTED ON Apr 15, 2023 21:43:55 GMT
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Her story resonated deep within him. Perhaps it was then he realized just how lonely, how miserable Lorelei herself was since childhood. Perhaps even before then. He exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he'd held in fear of throwing her off the track of her story. Soon enough, he pulled himself from Lorelei's grasp, only to sit up. It was fair for him to share his story, but he couldn't simply lay there like a scared child and do so. While he'd pulled away from her grip, his hand clasped gently around hers. They'd grown accustomed to touching one another without worry by this point, but he wanted to show that he felt no pity towards her for what she had gone through. Instead, he was grateful she opted to share her story with him. A brush of his thumb fell over delicate knuckles as he broke the silence.

"Jasper," he offered. "The man's name was Jasper, was it not? The only other man you've told this story to?"

He didn't pause for confirmation. Roman knew that was the case. Perhaps out of wandering eyes (or eye in his case) where secrets lie, he'd caught the name. Whispered hushes between Cato and Lorelei, notes that had yet to be destroyed -- all of it gave him snippets, but never the whole story. It was only fair for him to speak on his own behalf since Lorelei had opted to speak so vulnerably to him.

"I was the oldest of five kids," he began as he dwelled on memory lane. "My family was well off in the sense we weren't struggling, but it's not like we were rich either. I guess you can say I came from a humble background. My parents had the stereotypical white-picket fence romance that everyone wanted in a small town. I'm not saying it to rub it in your face, but there was a lot of love, patience, and kindness in my home."

He paused and let out a sigh.

"My youngest sibling and I lost contact years prior to everything that's happened. Nothing major, it's just that she chose to go see the world for what it was. Even now, I hope she's still safe. The other three siblings all lived different lives: my oldest younger brother wanted to be an actor and moved to Nimbasa City in hopes of making it big there. The younger oldest sister and I bonded the most. We just wanted to live simple lives and live happily like our parents. My youngest brother? There's not much to say about him. He died at a very young age -- doctors told us it was from uncontrollable seizures, the medicines they tried him on just didn't take. It killed both of my parents."

Another pause. He wanted to mention how his own disappearance was likely the death of them, but he didn't wish to rub salt in the wound for Lorelei. Nonetheless, he continued.

"But my parents had four other kids to worry about. I took on most of the responsibilities with my siblings, like making sure they were up for school, got the help they needed with their classes, anything to help alleviate the stress on my parents. They deserved it. Eventually they learned to grieve, and family life returned to a balance, but it wasn't the same -- it never would be. But that was ok, we learned to live with it. We grew up and started parting ways in our own fashions. I went into schooling and that's where I met my future wife. I can't say it was love at first sight, because it took us both some warming up. We have strong personalities and clashed heads quite a bit. But once we took interest, we really fell for one another."

It felt harsh to say those words given what he knew now, but it was the truth. At least at that point in time. He looked at Lorelei once more and gave a laugh of his own. It lingered with something bitter, almost as if he despised the way he spoke of his past now.

"It took us like what, seven months after I graduated the police academy? After we decided to tie the knot. That's when I met you. You made an excellent bridesmaid, but it's a shame you weren't her maid of honor given you were her best friend: she insisted that it was due to the fact she didn't want to be upstaged. But the marriage went through, we were still happy, and while we tried to start a family of our own, she went through the trauma of miscarriage. It put a rift between us. I started drinking, burying myself in my work; she distanced herself. So much time wasted as we grieved separately. But I wanted to make it work. I had to make it work. So we tried again and much to our surprise, we were expecting again. But well..."

He gestured vaguely. Bitterness rolled off of him as he uttered the sentence that sealed his fate.

"Turns out it wasn't even my kid. But you knew that already. You knew a lot. Part of me hates you for telling me the truth, but part of me is grateful. You've opened my eyes, and honestly? You're the only person I can trust."

His words hung heavy as he furrowed his brows with a sense of worry as he made direct eye contact with Lorelei.

"Please. Please don't make me regret that choice."

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HONEY

MS. DU'MOT
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32
FEBRUARY 14TH
LAVENDER TOWN
HETEROSEXUAL
DEBT COLLECTOR, TORTURER
CO-FOUNDER OF VELVET ROOM
I LIKE MEN ON THEIR KNEES PRAYING UP TO THEIR GOD, SEEING VISIONS OF ME
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LORELEI DU'MOT
‹ dreadfully › [m]
POSTED ON Apr 25, 2023 6:31:29 GMT
LORELEI DU'MOT Avatar
[nospaces]

[attr="class","lorelhold"]
[attr="class","loreholdsalltop"]
[attr="class","loretoplyr"]i like men on their knees

[attr="class","loretophold"]i don't need your roses

[attr="class","loreleibanner"]

[attr="class","loreleibannercolor"]

[attr="class","lorelicon"]

[attr="class","loreleisym"][attr="class","cp cp-rose"]

[attr="class","lorelyrknee"]praying up to their god seeing visions of me i'm a cult leader mind reader heart eater Fear feeder, say I'm your favorite preacher


[attr="class","lorespeaks"]
perhaps esmee wasn't full of shit. it truly was easier to listen to others than speak for yourself.[break][break]
it was from a place of love, but lorelei didn't quite know that yet - the way she loved to hear roman just go on and on. the more he spoke, the more she felt like she had unlocked parts of his heart she had sealed away under the muck of different forms of abuse. what she had worked so hard to erase from his very being was bared to her, showing her that she had ultimately failed. failure was unforgivable in her household growing up and it was still unforgivable for her now, but for him she could make an exception. this was something that made her feel successful - worthy.[break][break]
"i don't recall your parents being dead." of course, she hadn't checked. it wasn't that she didn't care, it was just that they hadn't come to undermine her plans as hard as she had expected. it wasn't hard to put two and two together, given her information sources and sheer level of deduction skills. it made her fall silent for a moment, mourning the family she had killed.[break][break]
-- the family she could have been a part of. of course, she never was to be part of any family to begin with. foregoing her original name and title was enough to prove that as fact.[break][break]
"not my intention." caught up in her thoughts, her words came out as the ending fraction of a statement. this was rare for her who had to word things carefully after great deliberation with herself. of course, this moment was also rare. it brought up many things to consider and her mind was working overtime to keep up. "it's not my intention to let you down." professionally put, but the meaning was subjective and kind. it meant she wouldn't make him forget the faith he put in her and how it affects her present actions and methods. roman was a good man - a man much too good for the world at large. it made him an important centerpiece for her collection. little did she know he would overgrow the very pot she placed him in and push all others out of it. there was no room for her to stray and be bored. even in all her moments of trying to pry out negative feelings of jealousy and uselessness out of him, she had always had her eyes on him - observing, analyzing, wanting.[break][break]
"it never felt like you were quite mine. although i can possess you in a literal sense, you were always defiant - moreso than anyone i've ever met. i could have met someone even more defiant than you if i had searched, i'm sure, but ...," she tried to rephrase - correct her words to not mean to incite jealousy or worry. it wasn't what she wanted, but what she was used to. this was one of many steps towards a healthier relationship - something nurturing for a person so broken. of course, it was the blind leading the blind. "perhaps i feel more comfortable saying that now." shaking her head, lorelei sighed - aggravated by her wishy-washy wording. "no. i know i feel more comfortable saying that now." as many times before, she took the inky-haired man's chin in her hand and looked down at him - almost as if meaning to judge and demean him. her gaze was sharp but it softened at the edges, showing no such intention. [break][break]
"our families may have broken apart for many reasons, but i consider you to be that for myself." again, her wording was a bit clumsy and so she continued - extrapolating a bit. "you make me forget about the negativity surrounding everyday occurrences and have been there for me in more ways than anyone else could be. i can only hope to prove to be a worthwhile investment as well, in due time." essentially, she was admitting to seeing him as someone to rely on - to stress on and cry on. roman was reliable and worthwhile. she would work to be that, as well. softly, secretly, she leaned into his ear and allowed her dark hair to intermingle with his own as if telling him something nobody else could hear:[break][break]
"i love you, roman. i'm not going anywhere without you in my best intentions or by my side."

[attr="class","loredivide"]

[attr="class","loreat"]@romanl





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