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Turned on my friends and brought them pain. I have no right to show I can change. But I gotta try!

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TAG WITH @isaacmerlo

POSTED ON Apr 5, 2023 0:01:14 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","skullhover"]

[attr="class","skullimg"]

[attr="class","skulltitle"]導通抵抗

[attr="class","skulloverlap"]BUT HOLD YOUR BREATH, GUESS WHO'S RUNNING THE SHOW?

[attr="class","skullbody"]With a caravan full of supplies rolling into Rocket's acting base of operations, Gavin had relieved Isaac of his watch. That left the Ultra Deep Sea stretching out before Isaac, a realm of endless possibility and even more endless danger. What mark Isaac made on the battlefield, for good or for ill, was up to him now.[break][break]

That was a lot of pressure.[break][break]

Frankly, if Isaac had it his way, he wouldn't even be here. He'd gotten his taste of war on Mt. Pyre, and he wasn't exactly hungering for seconds. That was doubly so when the stakes were raised from mineral collecting to knocking on God's door. Seriously! Why the hell were they bothering Arceus? Was everyone trying to speedrun the doomsday clock?[break][break]

Already, the excitement was a touch too rich for Isaac's blood. He'd gotten into a massive four-way scuffle, learning the hard way that he and his love had very different definitions on how much murder was okay in a relationship. He encountered his own little sibling, a fact that haunted him harder the more he meditated on it. And then, before he could even process, he was dragged into a high-speed chase with more League officials than he could count.[break][break]

Maybe, just maybe, he could coast on some side jobs while everyone was focused on the main invasion force.[break][break]

A familiar face, a sight for sore eyes, caught Isaac's attention. Ash was one of the few bastions of sanity Isaac knew he could count on in a steadily-crumbling Rocket. Everyone was either defecting en masse or giving in to their worst impulses, leaving the tightrope Isaac walked along increasingly sharp and narrow. Not Ash. Ash had honor. Ash had integrity. Ash had drive.[break][break]

Ash had literally organized a seven-man hit for pure, personal revenge.[break][break]

Isaac was sure he had his reasons. And those reasons were totally not related to the council of Hoenn's most murderous bastards that had taken his ear. No, no. It was fine. It was totally fine. Everything was going to make sense eventually, right? Of course it was![break][break]

It had to.[break][break]

For now, Isaac headed up to greet his friend. They hadn't spoken much since the day of the incident, which made sense. The day of the incident ended up right beside the day of the warfront thanks to unpredictable rift expansions. That certainly explained why they were more on edge than usual. However, it was nothing a little bit of bonding with each other couldn't stop. In this brief lull between explosions of action, Isaac hustled to fall in step with his friend.[break][break]

"Fancy meeting you here," he quipped, as if they hadn't been drafted into the exact same war at the exact same time.

[break][break]

[break]

[attr="class","skullinfo"]MOBILE POST / Ashley Shepard

[attr="class","skullcredits"]TAIKO!

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played by

Kiwi

Ash

He/Him/Them

December 2

Aspertia City, Unova

Pansexual

Picking up the pieces

5'11'' height

But I, I will, go on howling and hollow

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TAG WITH @ashley

POSTED ON Apr 5, 2023 4:18:21 GMT

THEO BECKETT likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

Everything is a little worse now. It was supposed to make him feel better. Catharsis for what what the man did to his birth mother. A bullet was supposed to make it all better. It would fix his mind, his heart, and the years of struggling to eat he had to endure without a single family member.[break][break]

Turns out, Zev Harcourt's training worked almost too well. THEO BECKETT's too. Even Cillian Quinn's.[break][break]

He would lay in bed at night next to kepler brueshaber, awake. Watching him sleep. He felt comfort. But it couldn't help him now. It didn't solve the issue at hand, the dull white noise in his ear. He used to have blood on his hands, but he rejected the responsibility that it was his fault, forego the conclusion he was a bad person, and assumed everyone in Rocket must be. To deny the aspect of himself entirely.[break][break]

Hypocritical as it was, it saved his soul before.[break][break]

Now, there is no comfort. There is realization. Epiphany that what sits within his vacant soul now is a cruel, twisted man. He cannot deny that now. Truth be told, Mr. Adam Byron's corpse was a steadfast reminder that any innocence he had was forfeit. His soul, forfeit.[break][break]

Mr. Sawyer was a murderer. A killer. He had the capacity. That was enough.[break][break]

So here he is. The day after. The warfront. A simple mission, something to ease the mind, to distract the brain. He didn't get any sleep last night. He couldn't. Black bags weigh heavy with the sin of a monster within. And so, to Isaac, he just gives a sluggish nod to his greeting. "You too." Insomnia didn't suit him.[break][break]

In the end, Isaac was right to be worried. Ashley made a bad decision. Now he paid the price in more ways than one. All because of yesterday. Even know, sins of the father had tainted him so.

Isaac Merlo[break][break]

NOTES

- OUTFIT & MASK, MUSE[break]
- CARGO: 100MP || IC POST: 10MP[break]
- Ash is fatigued, black bags beneath his eyes. Sins are crawling down his back.[break]
- He doesn't feel okay.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

[attr="class","ashley1credit"]

MADE BY GUNSMILE

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played by

Wanderer

The Liberator

he/him/his

April 10

Lavaridge Town

Figuring it Out

Penitent

Renegade

949 height

Turned on my friends and brought them pain. I have no right to show I can change. But I gotta try!

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4,322 posts

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part of

TAG WITH @isaacmerlo

POSTED ON Apr 5, 2023 4:47:23 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","skullhover"]

[attr="class","skullimg"]

[attr="class","skulltitle"]導通抵抗

[attr="class","skulloverlap"]BUT HOLD YOUR BREATH, GUESS WHO'S RUNNING THE SHOW?

[attr="class","skullbody"]In but a single night, Ash had transformed. Bags infested his sleepless eyes. His skin took on a deathly pallor, to the point where Isaac swore he could see veins. Beneath his hat, hair splayed out in a tangled mess. Isaac was the one wearing the literal skull mask, and yet Ash seemed to fit the role far better.[break][break]

If there was anything one could see about Ash, it was that he was vibrant. His lax demeanor belied a boundless energy. He greeted any challenge with his best foot forward, faced any stranger with a smile, and had an easy likeability and strength of character that Isaac deeply envied.[break][break]

None of that showed in his dazed response, little more than a zombie's moan.[break][break]

Concern knit in Isaac's brow. Really, when he thought about it, this was his fault. He'd failed to talk Ash out of a decision that clearly haunted him. He'd failed to support Ash after the fact, both men so dazed and lost that they could barely process each other's presence. He'd failed to save him before Rocket's meathooks sank into the most tender part of his heart.[break][break]

Why was he such an awful friend?[break][break]

Thinking quick, Isaac eyed Ash's belt loop. Six Pokeballs, huh? In his current state, he wouldn't notice one missing for a few seconds. With a swift motion, he pickpocketed a ball off of his person, before stooping down as if picking something up. One Wishiwashi. Two Wishiwashi. Three Wishiwashi. Now![break][break]

Isaac picked up the pace, "catching up" to his friend. In his hand, he held out a Pokeball to return. "Shit, dude, you dropped this," he said, gently pressing the ball into Ash's palm. The sensory feedback would have to get some attention. The worry for his Pokemon would have to ease him out of his haze, at least a little. Most importantly, instead of just shambling past, he'd have to look Isaac dead in the eye.[break][break]

Maybe, just maybe, that'd get him close enough for Isaac to bring back down to Earth.

[break][break]

[break]

[attr="class","skullinfo"]MOBILE POST / Ashley Shepard

[attr="class","skullcredits"]TAIKO!

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played by

Kiwi

Ash

He/Him/Them

December 2

Aspertia City, Unova

Pansexual

Picking up the pieces

5'11'' height

But I, I will, go on howling and hollow

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1,109 posts

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TAG WITH @ashley

POSTED ON Apr 5, 2023 5:05:13 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

He felt faint a moment.[break][break]

"It's okay, Kep. We're okay." He mumbles those words like he did the previous night. He remembers needing to cry, to let it out, to pull Kep in. No tears. He wanted desperately to tell Kepler that he had done something good in the world. That justice was brought back. Some semblance of balance. But the façade was up, and Ash knew it.[break][break]

He can still feel those beautiful black locks between his fingers...[break][break]

"Huh?" Out of his daze, his dream-like nigh-unconscious flow, he sees the hand that extends out to him. Ash feels upon his belt, and for a second, he's still there. No. That's not quite right. He IS still there. That person that was there. Hardened, certainly. But still present.[break][break]

He grabs the ball, and eyes it. Which one was that? He feels on the exterior, feeling for etchings he's made in them. H.D. He gives a small smile, and lets the ball fall from his hand.[break][break]

The orange weasel comes out. Holy Diver, and his gaze is on Isaac a spell, as Ashley gives the weasel a soft smile through the mask. Silver gaze softening. "Hey bud. I'm not doing too well. My body still hurts." He moves a hand to a wound on his person, and feels on the bandaging beneath the hoodie. He winces. "When'd you get here, Isaac?" As exhausted as his mind is, he's still present. Just a little slow on his own uptake.[break][break]

He's still Ashley.

Isaac Merlo[break][break]

NOTES

- OUTFIT & MASK, MUSE[break]
- IC POST: 10MP[break]
- Welcome Holy Diver, his first thread and the weasel is concerned![break]
- Ashley finally recognizes Isaac after mumbling, thinking he's still asleep.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

[attr="class","ashley1credit"]

MADE BY GUNSMILE

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played by

Wanderer

The Liberator

he/him/his

April 10

Lavaridge Town

Figuring it Out

Penitent

Renegade

949 height

Turned on my friends and brought them pain. I have no right to show I can change. But I gotta try!

awards

4,322 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @isaacmerlo

POSTED ON Apr 5, 2023 13:28:38 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","skullhover"]

[attr="class","skullimg"]

[attr="class","skulltitle"]導通抵抗

[attr="class","skulloverlap"]BUT HOLD YOUR BREATH, GUESS WHO'S RUNNING THE SHOW?

[attr="class","skullbody"]Each word Ash said was more confusing than the last. He spoke to a Kepler that wasn't there. He regarded his Pokeball as if it floated into his hand of its own accord. He responded to Isaac's words without even looking at him, as if it had been the Buizel who asked the question.[break][break]

It wasn't until he asked when Isaac got here that he realized what was going on.[break][break]

Poor Ash was so weary, so stressed, so broken-down and hurt that he was practically asleep on his feet. How he managed to practically sleepwalk his way into Rocket's encampment, Isaac was unsure. Perhaps loyalty to Rocket was a force stronger than even conscious control. Perhaps he had been lapsing in and out of focus through the day. Perhaps he saw risking his life in this war as some kind of fucked-up penace, or the only role he had left to fill.[break][break]

"Just got here," Isaac lied, not wanting to pile even more worry onto his dearest friend's shoulders. Not when he was already ground down so badly. "Saw you walking around camp and figured, hey. Can't be here without my right hand man."[break][break]

Ash said he wasn't doing well. Isaac knew damn well it was more than just his body hurting, but he elected not to call attention to it for the time being. Instead, he focused on the clear and obvious problem placed before him.[break][break]

He tossed a Pokeball to the ground, Charles the Rapidash emerging beside the two men. His horn pulsed a soft pink as he set it against Ash's wound, the Heal Pulse hopefully helping ebb some of the pain away. The shot of adrenaline it would provide would be a welcome change of pace, too.

[break][break]

[break]

[attr="class","skullinfo"]MOBILE POST / Ashley Shepard

[attr="class","skullcredits"]TAIKO!

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played by

Kiwi

Ash

He/Him/Them

December 2

Aspertia City, Unova

Pansexual

Picking up the pieces

5'11'' height

But I, I will, go on howling and hollow

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1,109 posts

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TAG WITH @ashley

POSTED ON Apr 6, 2023 3:55:06 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

Right hand man...[break][break]

Ashley runs a hand over his face, and through his silver hair. He was sweating? No... he must have been crying. Shit. "Ah. Sorry, man." He yawns, and tries to make excuses again. Again. "Didn't get much sleep." It wasn't just that. So it's a half-truth.[break][break]

Charles came out, and thankfully, the Heal Pulse alleviates his mind, and his wound. It closes up more from the bandages, and he nods, stretching. It was a dick move to have a knife pulled on him there at the end. "Thanks." It did wake him up a little.[break][break]

Holy Diver grabs his left hand, and holds it with his paw, with Ashley holding the Buizel, and closing his eyes. Would be nice... to...[break][break]

"..." He takes a moment and... then he decides to crack. "How are you holding up since last night?" Ash asks Isaac. Knowing damn well seven men were dead now. And Ashley was the direct cause of that slaughterhouse. The red of the walls, the splatter and gore. Him. All him.[break][break]

He didn't have trouble looking at himself in the mirror anymore. That part was worse.

Isaac Merlo[break][break]

NOTES

- OUTFIT & MASK, MUSE[break]
- IC POST: 10MP[break]
- Ash is apologetic, and waking up a bit thanks to the Heal Pulse.[break]
- Holds Holy Diver's paw as he asks about how he slept.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

[attr="class","ashley1credit"]

MADE BY GUNSMILE

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played by

Wanderer

The Liberator

he/him/his

April 10

Lavaridge Town

Figuring it Out

Penitent

Renegade

949 height

Turned on my friends and brought them pain. I have no right to show I can change. But I gotta try!

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4,322 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @isaacmerlo

POSTED ON Apr 6, 2023 4:38:47 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","skullhover"]

[attr="class","skullimg"]

[attr="class","skulltitle"]導通抵抗

[attr="class","skulloverlap"]BUT HOLD YOUR BREATH, GUESS WHO'S RUNNING THE SHOW?

[attr="class","skullbody"]"Oh."[break][break]

It all came rushing back. The tense elevator ride, Isaac feeling so small in the shadows of Zev, Gavin and Theo. The desperate pounds and pleas of the man at the emergency exit, begging for the freedom that Isaac simply couldn't give him. The way time seemed to stop as Ash committed an act that Isaac once found unimaginable.[break][break]

It wasn't that Isaac had never been involved in a death before. Just moments ago, Gavin and his own Dhelmise collaborated to turn his every attempt at nonlethal dissuasion into a deathblow. But that was different. That was wartime. That was at a distance. That was after he'd done everything in his power to keep them back without any bloodshed.[break][break]

Last night was different. Last night was personal. Last night was intimate. Last night was oh so intentional. And despite everyone involved trying to shelter him from the reality of it all, he was disgusted by even the bit part that he had played.[break][break]

He hated how guilty he felt for it. This was Ash's story. He didn't earn the right to pity himself over it.[break][break]

"I didn't think you'd ask," Isaac admitted. "Not, like. Because you don't care or anything. Arceus knows you do, more than anyone. I just thought . . . I mean . . . Well . . ."[break][break]

"Kinda figured you wouldn't want to talk about it, y'know?"

[break][break]

[break]

[attr="class","skullinfo"]MOBILE POST / Ashley Shepard

[attr="class","skullcredits"]TAIKO!

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played by

Kiwi

Ash

He/Him/Them

December 2

Aspertia City, Unova

Pansexual

Picking up the pieces

5'11'' height

But I, I will, go on howling and hollow

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1,109 posts

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part of

TAG WITH @ashley

POSTED ON Apr 6, 2023 8:43:08 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

It wasn't even old enough to be a nightmare, yet Ashley still lived through it again. It played over and over in his head. The anger. The elevator up. The bloody slaughterhouse, watching couches topple, men suffer, and the gun placed upon his temple. He can still feel the pistol's trigger, the itch of it to pull, the final hesitation. The knife to his side, and the full magazine emptied.[break][break]

Your soul is forfeit.[break][break]

Who was that for?[break][break]

One final act of resistance from a father that never deserved a child, that deserved to be more than a stain upon the streets of Unova, that never deserved more than a cushy spot in the underworld.[break][break]

Isaac's words are... they have him wince. Because he's right. He doesn't want to. But the thing about therapy he still had learned from his days before Hoenn Rocket come back. "Thing is, man. I really don't want to." He shrugs his shoulders. "But if we don't talk about it, that shit festers into something worse. Trust me. First rule about therapy is being able to talk it over. Just haven't... processed it all yet."[break][break]

He takes a moment to look out towards their destination. They were just out to swipe treasure, right? They could go over it on the way.[break][break]

Kepler could probably hear them over comms... might as well just get it all out in the open.[break][break]

"I killed my birth father last night. Years of no child support. He got a cushy job. He tried to overdose my birth mother while pregnant with me. He fixed up his act. He attempted to bury any evidence of me. He got promoted and made much more money. He was behind a hit on my birth mother, leaving my half-sister without a mom." Ashley was judgment in that moment. Last night, he felt right in the choice. But the way he spoke was almost mechanical. Like he felt nothing now having done the deed. That glint in his eye was gone. Holy Diver lets his hand go, and just makes a small cry as he hides behind Isaac. He doesn't like how cold Ashley refers to it. Like a negative lesson learned.[break][break]

Then he turns his head. "Tell me. If you had the chance to kill a man like that, would you?" His silver eyes, bagged as they were, were filled with self-loathing. "Did he not deserve to die? I'm asking. Because I don't know anymore." He begins to tear up. Training had messed him up. Holy Diver quickly races over to hug his leg.

Isaac Merlo [break][break]

NOTES

- OUTFIT & MASK, MUSE[break]
- IC POST: 10MP[break]
- Ashley meticulously goes through the cons of Mr. Byron; the failed father.[break]
- He asks Isaac if he was not deserving to die. Holy Diver hugs the now tearing up Ash.[break]
- He looks so... lost.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

[attr="class","ashley1credit"]

MADE BY GUNSMILE

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played by

Wanderer

The Liberator

he/him/his

April 10

Lavaridge Town

Figuring it Out

Penitent

Renegade

949 height

Turned on my friends and brought them pain. I have no right to show I can change. But I gotta try!

awards

4,322 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @isaacmerlo

POSTED ON Apr 6, 2023 13:43:01 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","skullhover"]

[attr="class","skullimg"]

[attr="class","skulltitle"]導通抵抗

[attr="class","skulloverlap"]BUT HOLD YOUR BREATH, GUESS WHO'S RUNNING THE SHOW?

[attr="class","skullbody"]It almost felt weird to have Ash mention his therapy. Once upon a time, it was his shield from the horrors that he had experienced, suffered, and even perpetrated in Kanto. It had failed in that purpose, completely and utterly. Dealing with the ghosts of the past was far, far different from the sins of the present. However, clearly some lessons still carried over.[break][break]

Ash was right that they hadn't processed. Isaac had no idea if they ever would.[break][break]

The things he mentioned were horrid. Atrocious, even. He was a cruel, merciless monster who thought so little of the consequences of his actions that he sought to bury them in blood just to save himself the trouble. He was a festering shitstain of a human being, and frankly Isaac wasn't mourning him anytime soon.[break][break]

But did that mean he deserved to die? Who had the right to say? Isaac knew damn well that if you asked most normal people, Cillian Quinn and Zev Harcourt would be counted among those ranks. Ask a diehard and they'd count Isaac and Ash, too. For fuck's sake, someone tried to play judge, jury, and executioner with Eris Halla. Eris! A literal child![break][break]

What was justice, then? Was it if someone's death made the world a better place? If so, who could say? Someone decided that about a child. Was it if the victims found peace in the decision? One look at Ash, with his haunted eyes and monotone voice, made it clear that wasn't the case.[break][break]

There was another victim. But would Ash's mother find any peace in seeing her son like this?[break][break]

There was no justice here. There was only vengeance. Ash ended two lives yesterday. One would not be missed by anyone of worth. The other Isaac would mourn as deeply as he did Kiryu.[break][break]

As tears came to Ash's eyes, Isaac hugged what was left of him as tightly and protectively as possible. Things would never be the same, but like hell did that mean he was giving up on Ash. The mere idea of that felt just as abhorrent as the idea of ending a life. He held him there, as if afraid he'd disappear at any moment, as pure silence washed over the two. Only after what felt like an eternity of quiet, desperate comfort did he speak.[break][break]

"I don't think I could."[break][break]

He remembered the one time he did. His life was in serious jeopardy. He and Knuckles were staring down the abusive breeder that had raised her. The strength of their bond lead to a desperate, tainted evolution, their hatreds and desperation feeding off of each other. To this day, he wasn't sure if he or Knuckles had decided on the final call. All he knew was that one moment, the bastard lay dead on the floor. The next moment, Knuckles had fled in a body unfamiliar to her, taking up silent vigil on Mt. Pyre.[break][break]

Isaac regretted it immensely, if only for the pain that put her through.[break][break]

"That just . . . isn't me, you know?" he admitted. "And no matter how long I spend here, I don't know if it ever can be. It's been a year, and the thought of it's never gotten any less . . . That."[break][break]

"Arceus, this is gonna sound crazy. But in some weird, fucked-up way, the idea of it scares me now more than ever."

[break][break]

[break]

[attr="class","skullinfo"]MOBILE POST / Ashley Shepard

[attr="class","skullcredits"]TAIKO!

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played by

Kiwi

Ash

He/Him/Them

December 2

Aspertia City, Unova

Pansexual

Picking up the pieces

5'11'' height

But I, I will, go on howling and hollow

awards

1,109 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @ashley

POSTED ON Apr 6, 2023 21:34:10 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

Harrowing, ain't it?[break][break]

The second time shit goes down, and Isaac gets to see the worst of him. He hides it from everyone else, but as he feels the hug, it's nice, sure but-[break][break]

It's hollow.[break][break]

Fuck... it hurts so much.[break][break]

Grabbing Isaac's back for a moment, he does so and just listens. He's tearing up, but he's not crying. They're just... there. He's just here. Because the panic is in his silvered gaze, as he tightens his grip.[break][break]

"Used to be that way too." He can't hide behind Theo anymore. He wasn't ordered. He was an accomplice now. And Ashley was the perp. His breathing is stilted. Everything is dizzy. He's trying to get the proper air.[break][break]

It's hot as hell here now, in the ultra deep sea.[break][break]

"I have to live with it now. It won't go away." He says so, with deadly precision. The fact that he couldn't even sleep after the fact. Yes, he didn't vomit. Yes, he was able to do the deed without crying. But now he was knocked sideways.[break][break]

So, he pushes off of Isaac, and smiles at him. A broken, small smile. As his heart collapses inwards.[break][break]

He looks down, and nods. "I hope the day never comes where you have to make that choice. Either of you." Part of him tries to regain his composure. Instead, it's a full reverse. His head moves slowly upwards. Silver eyes filled with a dead resolve.[break][break]

The white noise fills his ears.[break][break]

"We got a job to do. Come on."[break][break]

Holy Diver's eyes were welling up. Now he hugged onto Isaac's leg, as Ashley begins to walk. The weight upon his shoulders slowing him down. A spectral red chain on his neck, a steel ball on the other end he has to drag alone now. No amount of weight training. Only, this one he accepted upon himself. Unlike PAAA, he accepts the burden.[break][break]

With all of the baggage it brings with it.

Isaac Merlo [break][break]

NOTES

- OUTFIT & MASK, MUSE[break]
- IC POST: 10MP[break]
- Ashley hugs back, but it's... not helping much.[break]
- Tells Isaac (and Kep, indirectly) to never do what he did if they can help it.[break]
- He walks on with a new look in his eyes; Rocket Ashley is here now. They have a job to do.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

[attr="class","ashley1credit"]

MADE BY GUNSMILE

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played by

Wanderer

The Liberator

he/him/his

April 10

Lavaridge Town

Figuring it Out

Penitent

Renegade

949 height

Turned on my friends and brought them pain. I have no right to show I can change. But I gotta try!

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part of

TAG WITH @isaacmerlo

POSTED ON Apr 7, 2023 0:45:15 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","skullhover"]

[attr="class","skullimg"]

[attr="class","skulltitle"]導通抵抗

[attr="class","skulloverlap"]BUT HOLD YOUR BREATH, GUESS WHO'S RUNNING THE SHOW?

[attr="class","skullbody"]"Come on, man. You don't have to pretend."[break][break]

Like a neutron star, Isaac's voice was as small as it was heavy. "The fact that you're even reacting like this tells me it's not just used to, you know?" No stone cold killer needed to ask if he did the right thing, or cling to his best friend to find even the barest semblance of warmth. "It happened. And you're right. That's something you're gonna have to live with. But . . ."[break][break]

He sighed. This was hard. This was harder than he ever wanted it to be. But he was the one that wanted to be a light in the darkness, right? That meant he was going to have to put his money where his mouth was. He couldn't keep shying away every time things got a little hard. He was tired of running. He was tired of excuses.[break][break]

"You've seen all the promises and the glorification. You've been gone and you've been back again. You took charge of your destiny, did everything it felt like life was pointing you towards. And now you see what it's really like." If there was a sacrificial lamb for this awakening, Ash's shitstain of a biodad really was the best target. "You made a mistake. But now you know, better than anyone, what happens. And I know you'll know what to do with that."[break][break]

"You're a good person who did something horrible. It's not fair to write you off for that."[break][break]

It was Zeno's mission. No matter how close they approached the mission, it remained an indefinite distance away. Isaac was dragging his feet by now. But how could he not? He couldn't let Ash march off like this. Not now. Not until he was able to make everything better.[break][break]

He couldn't let the Ash he knew and loved die with his father.

[break][break]

[break]

[attr="class","skullinfo"]MOBILE POST / Ashley Shepard

[attr="class","skullcredits"]TAIKO!

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played by

Kiwi

Ash

He/Him/Them

December 2

Aspertia City, Unova

Pansexual

Picking up the pieces

5'11'' height

But I, I will, go on howling and hollow

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1,109 posts

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part of

TAG WITH @ashley

POSTED ON Apr 7, 2023 5:33:32 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

Ah. The Turing Test of the Human Morality spectrum. A psychopath enjoys the kill, a sociopath enjoys killing Pokemon even in youth. To be judged like that, sure, Ashley is nothing like Rocket. Yet, the slope is slippery, and waits for everyone to fall. To slide down. To become everything awful, and prove every Rocket rumor in the color of truth.[break][break]

He understands that Isaac is helping. That this will end up being a lesson to impart as advice, to stop the cycle of violence. Yet...[break][break]

"You're-" He stops... and just shoots Isaac a smile. Upon his heel, he turns ahead of him and stops dead in his tracks. Instead, he remembers. "When I was in Kanto, years and years ago, I was resistant for a while. It wasn't just Theo and Jayden, I just couldn't kill. Then, I would be punished for not being enough of a Rocket. And when I was, I'd... hurt myself." He takes a moment and looks over his hands, his wrists. The shard of mirror he remembers so clearly-[break][break]

He shakes his head.[break][break]

"You know the story, but I haven't exactly been upfront with the rest. Once Jubilee died, It was either fall in line or die. Naturally, I chose survival. And it didn't occur to me that would punish me. But... Isaac? I was good at it. I liked it. I was able to, with help, take three politicians, and-" He looks to his small earpiece. He winces. Because if he's right, his boyfriend was possessed by...[break][break]

"Theo told me to kill the one with the best chance to win. This young, new star politician that would clean Kanto up, right? Without hesitation, I used my fists and beat him to death." He looks longingly forward, balled hands at his sides. He takes an inhale, and holds it. He wants desperately to fix his mistake. "He had a wife. A kid. Even knowing that, I did what I did. I think... that one possessed Kep in the Border."[break][break]

He doesn't look back, and Holy Diver is still hugging Isaac's leg.[break][break]

"I used Theo as an excuse for the bad shit I did. Jayden too. I figured, I wasn't a bad person, couldn't be me. It's their fault. Lied to myself for years." He looked down now. Holy Diver was scared, but he at least was watching his Trainer. Ash couldn't help but give a sheepish smile, but turned back to look forward. "Every human is capable of some bad shit, man. League isn't any different. They spout their crap, high and mighty, and yet people like you and me fall through the cracks. They try to cover it up. Rocket, yeah same shit, but at least we call League's bullshit out over it."[break][break]

That eight hours of sleepless thought gave him so much introspection. So he turns back to Isaac. Faces him, eye to eye. "Point is, I don't deserve to drown in the Rocket tar pit. But I'm not wholly good either. I've always been me. I just didn't want to accept that." He almost feels like he's lectured Isaac. That wasn't the intention. After all, sleep deprivation was making him vomit words out.

Isaac Merlo [break][break]

NOTES

- OUTFIT & MASK, MUSE[break]
- IC POST: 10MP[break]
- Ash is vomiting word knowledge at Isaac.[break]
- Oh boy, he's spitting facts.[break]
- He doesn't know if right and wrong are a thing even.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

[attr="class","ashley1credit"]

MADE BY GUNSMILE

close tab

played by

Wanderer

The Liberator

he/him/his

April 10

Lavaridge Town

Figuring it Out

Penitent

Renegade

949 height

Turned on my friends and brought them pain. I have no right to show I can change. But I gotta try!

awards

4,322 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @isaacmerlo

POSTED ON Apr 7, 2023 14:27:50 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","skullhover"]

[attr="class","skullimg"]

[attr="class","skulltitle"]導通抵抗

[attr="class","skulloverlap"]BUT HOLD YOUR BREATH, GUESS WHO'S RUNNING THE SHOW?

[attr="class","skullbody"]"You felt so much pressure to commit acts you were uncomfortable with that you literally self harmed over it."[break][break]

Ash tried to say a lot of words about human nature, and how everyone had bad inside of them, and how really Theo and Jayden were just excuses he made for the darker side that lied inside of him. At times, it was almost convincing. But Isaac just found himself coming back to the cycle of pain, over and over again.[break][break]

"Was it the killing you liked?" Isaac asked. "Or was it the feeling of safety that came with it? Knowing that your best friend wouldn't shame you and your mentor wouldn't punish you? Knowing that, if you kept pushing your doubts down and staying in line, you wouldn't be hurt? Whether by them or by yourself?"[break][break]

He sighed, tenderly setting a hand on the wrist that ash had been staring down. He only wished he had been there years ago to tend to those wounds while they were fresh, but this would have to do.[break][break]

"Nobody's wholly good. But there's a world of difference between that and what you're saying, too," he said, a quiver to his voice as it started to firm up. "You were abused, Ash. And they don't have to be standing behind you for the scars they left to flare up."[break][break]

"I should know. You showed them to me, remember?"[break][break]

What was Isaac saying? Ash had never shown Isaac the scars on his wrist. Yet maybe, just maybe, he would recognize the piercing look Isaac was giving him through an eye that was no longer there.[break][break]

Who could be more familiar than Isaac with the scars left in Ash's mind?

[break][break]

[break]

[attr="class","skullinfo"]MOBILE POST / Ashley Shepard

[attr="class","skullcredits"]TAIKO!

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played by

Kiwi

Ash

He/Him/Them

December 2

Aspertia City, Unova

Pansexual

Picking up the pieces

5'11'' height

But I, I will, go on howling and hollow

awards

1,109 posts

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part of

TAG WITH @ashley

POSTED ON Apr 8, 2023 23:42:59 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

"I don't know." Ash says, wearily pointing out that while Isaac had truth behind his words, asking what part he liked, it left Ashley introspective as a whole. His eyes look out into the vast ultra sea, teeth biting down upon his lip. Feeling the hand on his wrist, he just gazes to it with empty eyes.[break][break]

Of course, those scars flaring up was exactly what Isaac experienced in Mt. Pyre, so his sage speak only left layers of uncertainty in himself. Taking a moment to look towards the one eye, he frowns.[break][break]

Regret sinks him further, but he gives a small, infintesimmaly small smile.[break][break]

With a nod, he pulls his wrist away, and rolls up the sleeve, tracing over the faded, nigh-non-existent scars. Though he does have the tattoo from the Pacifilog Carvanha incident, he does still feel them like yesterday, as the shards of glass were embedded deeply enough. Where the Rocket clinic had to pull them out, and apply a small cast. His arms have gone through hell, if not the Carvanha tooth making a gaping hole, to the solar beam the jackass on Mt. Pyre used to kill some of his nerves in the other. The mirror feels so long ago.[break][break]

"Appreciate that, Isaac. Really." His smile is sheepish, but he looks sulkingly upwards towards the vast ultra sea. "I..." He closes his eyes, to listen to the sounds of the ocean.[break][break]

"Come on. We gotta go get some treasure. We're slacking off." Not that he was doing this on purpose. But, at least... they talked about it.[break][break]

Maybe that would be enough.

Isaac Merlo [break][break]

NOTES

- OUTFIT & MASK, MUSE[break]
- IC POST: 10MP[break]
- Ash is receptive at least to the sage advice of Isaac.[break]
- Rolls up the sleeve to show the damage Rocket, and he, has caused.[break]
- Tells him thanks, and that they still have a job to do.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

[attr="class","ashley1credit"]

MADE BY GUNSMILE

close tab

played by

Wanderer

The Liberator

he/him/his

April 10

Lavaridge Town

Figuring it Out

Penitent

Renegade

949 height

Turned on my friends and brought them pain. I have no right to show I can change. But I gotta try!

awards

4,322 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @isaacmerlo