[attr="class","diaryhf"]

march 10th

coming back home

[attr="class","diaryentry"]

I know that my first stop back should be home... but I just can't. Dad says she's not getting any better and no matter how much I try, I just can't bring myself to see her like she is.[break][break]

Worst it's ever been. She doesn't even remember who I am, she thinks I'm Aunt Harlow.[break][break]

I could go and see Ferny... but I don't really wanna look at his face right now. I'm still trying to figure things out with him. It's all so confusing and annoying. Like, here, I can't even put it to words, what's wrong with me. I know I still love him, but I also know I'm not supposed to. And maybe that's the problem.[break][break]

I can't give up again. I can't accept I love him and just linger around like a lost puppy. He deserves better than me anyway.[break][break]

Maybe I'll go see Barney![break][break]

That sounds like a good time. I can get some snacks and things together too!!! Oh yes, okay, I'll go see Barney. And maybe I can ask him what to do about the Ferny thing... er maybe not. Maybe just pretend the Ferny thing uh, doesn't exist.[break][break]

So much easier that way...[break][break]

...I'm such a coward, wow.

[attr="class","diaryhf"]

sincerly,

francie harlow myrtle