fingers knead as he twists the knife, reminding her about the girl downstairs, how her sanctity for her secrets had led her into the clutches of the very enemy freya knows she can destroy. all it would take is for him to trust her. 

maybe the mistake really had been hers, in trusting he could do so. 

"the decision was always mine to carry," she seethes. "i'm trying to build a future. i'm trying to put us in a world that has a future. and that means protecting fernando, even if he's hurt me.

"and i told you this and you accused me of running back to them. same thing you did when i told you about the council. how many times have you called me a silph?" 

how many times have you made a monster out of me?

"this isn't a matter of pride."

it's vengeance. it's redemption. it's justice.

it's a sad woman looking at her own reflection.

he stands. she looks up at him, shoulders squared, jaw tight, and then steps aside, gaze cast to the door. 

"i can't turn my back on him again...but this doesn't have to mean i turn my back on you."

KING WAYLAND

☉

hours later, she is thinking of all the things she wishes she had said:

i never put you in harm's way. 

matias is the one who put a target on your back. on my back. 

i did trust you. 

i do trust you. 

you're the only person i've ever truly trusted.

i love you, and i just want you to hold me, and i'm sorry and - 

i'll change.

but she had instead let him walk away. she had bloodied her thumb scratching at it without noticing. she had numbly packed the rest of her clothes. picked up her crown from the ground. 

left her key on his nightstand.

she thought about going to a bar and drowning out her grief like a normal person might. but being among people, anyone, that seemed too...lonely.

so atop the ruins of the sky pillar, under the stars, she sits, swaddled on all sides by the warm flanks of her dragons. 

and she wonders if it was worth it. 

KING WAYLAND

☉