talking down to her is at least a normalcy. the tension in her shoulders eases away, slowly but surely. she does not grant him the courtesy of looking away as he tugs the towel from his shoulders and wraps it around his waist. she's seen him this way, just as he's seen her in return, but the thought doesn't bring anything other than a hollow resentment to her heart. 

he'd cradled her like a child in those baths, thumbed her skin and promised he had remade her. 

"i know," she says quietly and steps out after him, giving her boots a bit of a shake. she hesitates towards the exit, but decides to sit on the bench beside his pile of clothes. 

"you knew i would go after her. that i would try to protect you." she scratches at a flaking patch of skin on her cheek. "did you anticipate all of it?"

FERNANDO SILPH

☉

she snorts. he boils her down to cutting adjectives and it stings, yes, but not as much as it would have if she didn't have the lingering voices of others in the back of her mind - Mei Liu and ana fell and Isaac Merlo all stretching out their hands in their own ways, reminding her that the world isn't so black and white. 

i'm not a bad person, she reminds herself. 

"you pissed me off on purpose when i told you about elisabeth. i know that now. predictable, like you said." after that, after his threat, she couldn't have gone to anyone else. there's no one to stand against fernando silph. no one to stand in his stead.

she stares moodily out at the tiles, ignoring his movements while he dresses. 

"you should put bacitracin on the mark by your shoulder. it's showing signs of infection," she asides. "and anyway, i did protect you, despite you attacking me."

she doesn't want his thanks. her tone is dry and it is probing, wrought with confusion. he turned against her with such voracity. 

why?

FERNANDO SILPH

☉

she digs her heels in, squashing doubt before it can latch into her sides. she stares at his back while he fiddles with his locker. she remembers the empty thrust of his palm, the dropping of her stomach in horror at the idea of losing her autonomy again. and he had continued onward, willfully ignorant of her reaction.

he toyed with her, maliciously, while she attempted to warn him.

"teams require trust. you want me to trust you? i need you to be trustworthy." she laces her fingers together and props her chin in her hands, still watching him.

"do you remember protecting her from me?"

FERNANDO SILPH

☉

she winces a bit at the sound and frowns. while she's no doubt about their ability on the battlefield, the wake of the terastal skirmish following aqua had left her wanting. they were an all-out mess on the field. she needed to trust her instincts. she needed no one there to get in her way. 

she needed to do it alone. how many times has he called her selfish?

"but you don't want me to trust you," she says slowly. slowly enough that she misses the rigid stalling, the glitch to oblivion in an otherwise perfect man. 

"mm, that makes me feel better." admittedly, it does. her shoulders settle a little bit. her phone buzzes. Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki checking in on her and the councilman. she thumbs back a quick response and then cocks her head at fernando. 

"speaking of eva..." she speaks ahead of herself, finds herself tongue-tied, and frowns. she pictures Eva Morales snatching the other half of fernando's bagel off her plate, cheeky smile on her face. it annoys her. 

"how's she holding up?"

FERNANDO SILPH

☉

she is a constant, not a variable. even if she changes, he'll see it well in advance, and it frustrates her to no end that he can take one look at her and see her. theirs is a closeness that stretches years and still, they've nothing to show for it but cold, unaffected acquaintanceship. 

not that she's ever wanted more - so what is it? i no longer look up to him. first ALEXANDER STONE and now FERNANDO SILPH, the two people she idolized when she first took her seat on the council, standing upon a dais forbidden to her by her own self-actualization. 

"as always," she repeats with a sigh. she stands. "we all need a break, her more than most." rayquaza weighs heavily on her mind; she's shared as much with her.

"the holiday party coming up should be a good change of pace. here's to hoping we can eat, drink, and be merry without the world imploding." she scratches her cheek and slips her phone back into her pocket. 

"i've a meeting in fifteen. if i leave you alone, are you going to 'enter your zone' again?"

FERNANDO SILPH

☉