[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]despite the raging storm outside, her mind feels quiet - peaceful, composed...

at least, she likes to think it does. widening cracks are filled with pink energy in a makeshift attempt at kintsugi, but her mind is not pottery and it cannot be mended with transmuted gold.

lightning snaps overhead and for a moment, she feels it cutting through spatial matter. the sensation is gone just as quickly as it comes.

the persistent knock - familiar, too, she notes - does not seem to fade, though. a voice rings out after, startling as if plucked straight from past dreams.

his presence, then, is like a sharp knife in her awareness, cutting through spatial matter until he's all she can see in her mind's eye just beyond the door.

"felix?"

she rises from her couch and shifts to open the door, its loud creak reverberating in her bones.

"i... didn't know you were back."

the wounds of his departure are still fresh wounds, bordering on infected. they're painful to the touch and with him towering over her now, drenched from rain and half a ghost, they rip back open with a vengeance.

Felix Gallagher

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]his arm settles against her lower back and before she can react, her body is pulled into his. she fits back against his chest as if he'd never left and she tries not to stiffen at the sudden contact.

it would do her well, she insists, to remind herself that he has come back - that he had left before this, that he will leave again if given the chance.

she can mold, bend, and break space to her will, but she cannot change this fate.

"you did?"

against the fabric of his shirt, she blinks through confusion as you do sleep. and after a moment, she gently pries her head back to get a better look at him... to re-etch his face into her memory as if he doesn't already live there for eternity as a ghost. the fragile line teeters precariously beneath them, but somehow it has yet to fully break.

"why? did something happen?"

she doesn't quite understand. had he heard? had he kept tabs on her all this time?

Felix Gallagher

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]on a physical level, she has not changed since he last laid eyes on her. she's still the same as she's always been, with red eyes and pale hair... but ichor now drips through the veins and she sees everything in spatial terms. on a molecular structure, she is forever changed - different, better, transmuted into divine gold.

"tell me."

she keeps her tone pleasant, gentle as she prods for more information. no hint of discomfort or impatience.

and then he mumbles out an apology. it shatters against her skin like glass, cutting deeper than she'd prefer to admit.

"sorry?"

lightning strikes overhead beyond the comfort of her house. she feels the storm's turmoil vibrate in her bones.

"for what, leaving?"

it doesn't change a thing, she chastises. it does not mend her heart or erode sleepless nights of wondering and waiting and giving up... but she listens all the same.

Felix Gallagher

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]his apology feels hollow now - months of silence hardening her heart against him... but even so, she cannot deny the sensation of butterfrees in her stomach she has always associated with him.

even here, even now, with kanto the final nail in their coffin laid out between them, she could still be malleable metal in his hands if he wanted. he could turn her back into gold, gilded and rare and his.

"information?"

she blinks. his fingers are still tangled in her hair. they're familiar tethers, dispelling the way her mind wants to drift to expanses of space. he keeps her rooted against him, grounded and held together with some semblance of togetherness.

"what kind of information?"

he continues and as he murmurs threats against August Gallagher, against her...

their eyes meet and she analyzes him as he does her. she searches for signs of the future, of a world where he doesn't leave and things return to normal and the fragile line they walk doesn't shatter beneath their feet.

but stars and spatial matter clog her vision. they're difficult to ignore, to shove down and out of focus. they persist and so too does his uncertainty.

"who threatened us - rocket?"

her nails dig into the fabric of his shirt at the thought and she clings to barely there composure.

"they can't do anything to us now."

she'd make sure of it - wouldn't she? what's power without the ability to protect the one you love? the ones he loves, too?

Felix Gallagher

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]in the dim light of her living room, with his arms still circled around her, she feels the swirling edges of her own inner universe begin to lose control and pull apart. it's subtle, like little bits of cosmic matter flying off into the abyss. if too many go, she'll lose her structure, her composition... and finally, herself.

and he speaks of disbelief against team rocket, widening the gaps in her already decaying universe.

does he know she's gilded ichor down to the bones now? does he not believe in her? does he know that sacrilege?

she tries to reason with him - really, she does... but her world has exploded in the blink of an eye and all she sees now is the vast, cold expanse of space and worlds beyond.

"they can't."

it's stubborn, as if a child stomping their foot when they don't get their way. she digs heels in for it's all she knows - power has been warming her when he has not in the months they've spent apart. how could she believe anything different?

and they say half gods accept gifts, compliments, and hymns for their service... but the old, archaic gods are paid in blood and so is she.

"they can't do anything to you anymore. i won't let them."

in the way a dragon protects their treasure, she bares teeth at the thought of losing him again. not to them, not to anyone...

but the fissures have already begun and doubt spreads like ivy over weathered brick. she can no longer stop the inevitable for it has already been set in motion. its inertia, despite her desperate, heartbroken attempts, cannot be stalled out.

her grip on him tightens and thunder cracks overhead. every inch of her feels pulled apart at the seams as he speaks of leaving again.

and with little to lose - for she has already lost him - she reacts as all frightened animals do when their home is about to be ripped out from under their feet.

"please stay. please, i - don't leave me again."

Felix Gallagher

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]at first, she doesn't provide him an answer...

she's focused solely on the concept of him leaving, of changing it from happening, of transmuting it into something that won't cleave her chest back open.

"felix, please."

gold still cuts just as sharply as iron. she should remember that.

"please don't go."

she's begging. she realizes it's unbecoming of her, more mortal than divine, but she feels him slipping out from between her fingers and she has never learned the art of letting go.

"i can protect us."

can't she?

"August Gallagher would be safe and you could stay and we don't have to be apart again."

his question still goes unanswered, existing in the background like the blade of a guillotine. how long before it falls?

Felix Gallagher

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]he repeats her name - soft, in the way one would a prayer - and his hand brushes against her cheek in that familiar way she's only experienced again in dreams. it breaks something in her, she'll slowly realize, to be with him like this again...

and to have it ripped away just as it had before.

"stay."

her voice trembles, breathed out in the space between them as if she's never prayed for anything before now - not palkia, not power, not even a past being brought back from the dead.

"whatever it is, we can figure it out. just -"

she tries to bring him closer, hands rising to cradle his face in her hands. her eyes dart over his face, swaying from his eyes to nose to lips, roaming over the jawline and returning. in their path, they gather more stars to add to constellations and the jagged, rough edges puncture enough to leave tears gathering at waterlines.

"don't leave again."

she wouldn't ask for anything else again. she swears it to her god, its sibling, and the father. she swears it on whatever will keep him with her...

but prayers often go unanswered - the echoing we have been abandoned still plays in her head like a war drum, like a sharp reminder of everything they had been and everything they had lost.

"we can watch a movie or play a game... anything you want, okay?"

Felix Gallagher