played bylumity/jayfeather
he/him/his
20
January 9th
Hammerlocke
demisexual
ranger/photographer
senior ranger
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
TAG WITH @ever
ever blackwell
Welcome Distraction [Jay]
POSTED ON May 9, 2024 18:49:42 GMT
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[attr="class","header"]EVERYDAY BY MYSELF I’M BREAKING DOWN
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Okay, so using fine wasn't the best idea. It was kind of an automated response, after all. But what else was he supposed to say? [break][break] “I did tell them I was well enough one time, but that only ended up with them asking me what I meant by that. Like it wasn’t obvious,” he huffed. Seriously, talking about his feelings wasn’t something he cared for. In fact, he was still in the stage where talking about feelings was awkward. [break][break] And at least he tried to answer. Or maybe it was just that he wasn’t stupid enough to try and tell them it was none of their business. Because yeah, that would go over so well. [break][break] Yeah, pride was part of it, but there was more to it than that. Something he kept hidden even more than the fact his father abused him. Part of me felt he deserved it. His father was right about one thing: if it wasn’t for them, his mother would still be alive. [break][break] “Even if I didn’t have pride, I wouldn’t be in any hurry to get out. My father isn’t to be taken lightly. As unfortunate as it may be, my father is cunning, manipulative, and charismatic. If I didn’t know firsthand what kind of guy he was, even I would have trouble believing him to be capable of doing the things he has done. We meet here because this is the only place I know of where he wouldn’t have eyes on me,” he explained, keeping his voice low to maintain the lowered volume he had been maintaining. After all, he didn’t want everyone in the cafe to overhear their conversation. [break][break] It was not the very subtle taunt about his money handling; he had to resist the annoyed glare he wanted to send his way. “I don’t have a job. My father gives me money to get me out of the way, but it’s not much. Though perhaps using it to buy a few cups of coffee isn’t the best idea, I don’t have any other means of keeping myself from falling asleep.” [break][break] Sure, preventing yourself from sleeping wasn’t entirely healthy. But considering the type of person his father was, he was reluctant to be so unguarded around him. Not that being awake around his father really helped him much. [break][break] As he pushed some money toward him, he looked down at it. He so badly wanted to quip that becoming a prostitute probably wasn’t the best way to get out of his situation. However, his dislike of wasting time warred with that, and he bit the inside of his cheek to prevent those words from escaping. [break][break] "Fine, let’s pretend in this scenario that my father is not very bright... If given the chance, I would take it. One would have to be a fool not to take a shot at freedom,” he commented with a small shrug. [break][break] He didn’t admit that he had already tried to get out once before. Well, running away would be more likely. It could probably be implied that he had already tried to escape, though.[break] Nikita Sokolov
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