played bylumity/jayfeather
he/him/his
20
January 9th
Hammerlocke
demisexual
ranger/photographer
senior ranger
i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.
TAG WITH @ever
ever blackwell
Welcome Distraction [Jay]
POSTED ON Jul 17, 2024 3:39:53 GMT
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[attr="class","header"]EVERYDAY BY MYSELF I’M BREAKING DOWN
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At the question, he frowned. “When I was younger, I admitted that I still held out hope that my father would change. By the time I gave up on that happening, it was too late. My father became more cautious when I was older. No mail I sent out was sent out before he looked it over; he keeps a close eye on my correspondence with my grandparents,” he said with a small shrug, a bit uncomfortable with talking so much. I’m sure his throat actually hurts from talking so much. Even so, he needed him to understand a few things. [break][break] “People around here are either gullible or don’t want to see what’s in front of them. The people around here will believe whatever lie I tell them, mostly that I have a bleeding heart and can’t turn a blind eye to someone who needs help, which usually ends up with me standing up to bullies. That’s the lie that I usually feed people.” [break][break] It was actually pretty annoying how easily that lie was believed. Very few people questioned it. Seriously, you would think people would wonder why adults weren’t doing more to remedy a bullying problem if that was the lie he told everyone. But he supposed that doing something like that was actually something he would do if he didn’t already have too much on his plate. [break][break] While he was in no way getting beat up on by other kids, it was true that he was a protective person. It was also true that he couldn’t turn a blind eye to someone who needed help, even if it was something as simple as helping an old lady cross the street. [break][break] He had learned from a young age that the best way to make a lie believable was to have some truth in the lie that one made up. Though he never actually admitted that that was what he was doing, to him, it would be like admitting a weakness. [break][break] Of course, he didn’t like the way things were. If there was one thing he hated the most about his situation, it was lying. “Of course not; my father is good at tracking thoughts,” he said, struggling to keep his voice at a lowered volume. "Look, contrary to belief, I haven’t just taken it all these years. I tried to get out when I was ten. I planned it all out in my head. I would go on a Pokémon journey, win some battles, and save up on my money until I had enough to get a plane ticket or something. I set out in the dead of night, but I didn’t get very far before my father tracked me down and dragged me back home.” [break][break] He hadn’t tried again after that. The beating he had gotten for that little stunt had made sure of that. If he wasn’t feeling so defensive about what he had been through, he wouldn’t have breathed a word of his failed escape attempt, mainly because it was something he was quite bitter about. [break][break] Seriously, where had he gone wrong? Had one of the neighbors seen him sneak out and tip off his father? That was the only thing he could think of, unless his father had already had eyes on him on the assumption that he would make a run for it. [break][break] His expression became thoughtful upon hearing the question. What was really keeping him here? Obviously, his parents had been tipped off that something was wrong. He hadn’t acted well enough to get them to think everything was alright. It had been harder to lie to them than it had been for everyone else; perhaps that was what had caused him to unintentionally slip up. [break][break] Now he had the opportunity to get out, like he had always dreamed. Well, the part of him that hadn’t believed he deserved everything he got anyway. The part that believed in the bitter remarks of his father blaming him for the death of his mother. [break][break] “Fine, but only because I know my grandparents will rest easier knowing I’m out of that house. I still have to prepare, though, so I still have to head back, even if it’s temporary,” he said at last, letting out a sigh.[break] Nikita Sokolov
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