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YOU'RE ALL THAT I SEE

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[attr="class","freiwantmid"]CHARACTER FACTION team rocket

[attr="class","freiwantmid"]CHARACTER RANK grunt

[attr="class","freiwantmid"]FACE CLAIM Akashi Seijuro - Kuroko no Basket

[attr="class","freiwanttop"]ABOUT THE CHARACTER

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He was always so quiet. It was easy to forget that he had a voice at all.[break][break]

Now there's only silence.[break][break]

Despite, every time he looks at me I can hear him asking why I didn't try harder... to save him.[break][break]

He didn't ask to be my brother. No one in their right mind would want to be a part of this family. But then he was dad's second chance at having a son who was worth a damn. I inherited his temper and his shit luck. Along with it came his penchant to get trapped beneath everyone else's boots. I watched him get his ass handed to him on a regular basis, as a kid. Then it was my turn, as his multitude of debts became my own.[break][break]

I didn't even know I had a brother, not until a couple of years ago. I wonder if dad even knew about him... After all, who would ever want to admit to having bore his spawn. Regardless, Owen never really got to know him. He didn't have the time to develop a hate for him, like I did.[break][break]

Dad got it into his head that he could raise him right. that, somehow, his fucked up views and shitty influence wouldn't touch him. Let me tell you, Owen wasn't untouchable. As it turned out, it wasn't dad that he had to worry about it all--it was me. All of the responsibility of looking after him, thanks to dad's continual failed attempts, fell on my incapable shoulders. When dad didn't come home at night, because he was too busy dealing blow or ripping off some neighboring lowlife, it was me who was stuck whipping up some barely edible concoction so that I could put the brat to bed. I told myself i hated him too, and maybe I did.[break][break]

Every night, it seemed like, I was stuck sitting in the corner of his room until he fell asleep. It was pointless, because I'd wake up to him lying beside me in bed, like he knew if he'd just asked when we were both awake, that I would've kicked him in the ass and sent him on his way. He encroached on every part of my life, and really it was just one more chore for dad to pit on me. It was one more thing that I couldn't do right, and I was sick of him looking at me like I was no better off than him.[break][break]

I can still hear the sound he'd make when he'd whistle through his teeth before slugging me. It accompanied the metallic taste in my mouth; but more than half the time that was my own fucking fault.[break][break]

Owen wasn't one of those kids that asked a bunch of questions, or even held on too tight. To be honest, he seemed pretty familiar with letting go, and he always gave the impression that he knew he might have to. The worlds a bitch, no matter what age you are. Sometimes it felt like he knew more than I did--that, somehow, he saw more. Maybe he did, cause he actually paid attention. I was too busy fucking around, and fucking off. Anything to avoid having to face the harsh reality of my existence. Clubbing with my cousin, and going out drinking, had pretty much become a staple. I don't know why, I hate people. I don't like being around them... but I guess my cousins okay. His life seemed pretty alright. Neutral. Not that I envied him or anything. It's a waste of time to envy anyone--we're all stuck on this shit hole of a planet. We're all fucked.[break][break]

Every morning when I wake up, I can feel water filling my lungs. I can feel the grip of the cold close around my throat, choking me to death. I wish it would.[break][break]

I didn't even see him trying to cross the river. I don't even think he ever screamed. He didn't try to call out for help, maybe because he knew it wouldn't come anyways. I watched as my Pokemon stepped up, checking the banks, and scanning the waters. Owen's Zorua had been a gift from his mother, otherwise our dad never would have let him keep it. The damn thing spent half it's time hiding, besides.[break][break]

I never see it anymore. I don't bother looking. It's like Owen never left. He's always with me, and now I feel that responsibility heavier than I ever did. I can't let him down again. I can't lose him.[break][break]

Dad tossed me my first Pokemon when I was twelve. Said that I needed to man up, and make something of myself. I'd heard that he ripped it off some other kid whose family owed the Rocket's some cash. They were behind on payments so the kids Cyndaquil was the collateral. It's a pretty useless Pokemon, but then I guess people might argue that I'm a pretty useless trainer. It's easier, to pretend like I know what I'm doing, even if deep down I really don't give a flying fuck about it. I never wanted a Pokemon. I still don't, but now I've got three.[break][break]