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He curls up on the couch with care, using a throw pillow to prop up his head a little. He found himself resting on his stomach, giving the vestigial nubs air to breathe. "Okaay..." his voice is soft, letting his drowsiness overtake him as he watched Raphael move into his bedroom and then leave. He gives Espy one last, lazy pet before soon enough he nodded off. [break][break]

He blinks awake, confused for a moment before he focused on his guest. Raphael had come back, the lights were on. Well, some of them anyway. Mint stirred, lifting a hand to rub his eyes before offering a tiny smile. "Better." He felt heavy, but at least some of the pain in his back, and ankles was number than before. He managed to sit up, careful not to disturb Espy too much before stifling a yawn. "But if you're still worried...you should stay the night." he added, blunt in his grogginess.

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it's a highway, highway to the dark [break]
and a neon medusa's got your heart .

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Mint blamed Raphael's extended stay on his weakness. His sore skin and little growth spurt make him whiny and clingy. And Raphael is so sickly sweet. He spoke in a soft rumbling that lulled Mint to a placid contentment, and soothed his mind. He held him like he was rearranging a joltik's cobweb. Raphael helped him recover, and he never complained. And Mint soaked it all up, pushing their goodnights until Raphael tutted at him and left the room in a huff. He hovered close curling up against the curve of his body or laying on top to allow access to his feathers. [break][break]

Raphael, as usual, knew how to do everything handsy it seemed. He talked about Mint’s feathers, plucking and preening gently while Mint listened, face pressed firmly into his body. He didn't mean to keep him for longer than a few days. Any more would've been selfish. But in his stupor, thanks to the meds Raph has procured, he forgets propriety. He forgets the walls and self imposed limits he had imposed with Raph. He melts into his touch and attention and allows the most selfish of desires to surface. But it can't last. [break][break]

It never does. [break][break]

Raphael left on one of his many errands and Mint roused, groggy and confused. No sense of time, no caretaker to ground him. So he grounds himself, focusing hard on his routine. Wake up, check phone, check other phone, piss. [break][break]

He digs for the burner, locked away from well meaning eyes and knowing hearts. Messages on his recovery, on his overdue samples he'd promised, in his absence. [break][break]

“Diomedes.” The little Unown D makes itself known as Mint wandered into the bathroom once more. “Another sample. Take it to Naomi Sato. She'll take care of it.” He said as the Unknown disappeared to collect the clean needles and vials. Mint meanwhile sat himself and roll up his sleeve. He studied himself in the mirror for a moment, fingers brushing against beautiful new feathers. He ran a finger over a wing trying to finger it out. It's smooth to the touch and he ran a nail, ruffling it before Diomedes returned. [break][break]

“Before Raphael gets back, I'll need your help.” He murmured, as he pointed at his door to shut it. Diomedes floated as Mint tied himself off, waiting for the veins to pop. He'd been coached through this enough times and Diomedes knew exactly when to jump in and assist. Leaning up against his bathtub, he and Diomedes take a vial of his blood with the utmost of care. Then a second. Then they try for a third but don't finish. [break][break]

Raphael catches him again and he felt cornered, ashamed. “I-” but he has no answer. Because Raphael doesn't know, couldn't know. But he's mid-draw and he needs this needle out of him before he dealt with all that. [break][break]

“Get them to her or it'll be a waste-.” He warned, ending the draw with care as the Unknown pulled the last vial, half full, and corked it mid air. A nervous eye darted to Raphael before it flew behind its master and plucked the rest of the samples away. “Raph- It's ok!” He began as he once again scrambled up, using his body to block his pokemon. “R-Routine draw. Nothing crazy.” but maybe that isn't the best thing to say to a man who had been personally nursing him back to health with his own two hands. But Mint couldn't offer the truth, only minimize the shock of coming home to this.

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it's a highway, highway to the dark [break]
and a neon medusa's got your heart .

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His body felt cold before it flared hot again. He dropped the needle and tubing on the ground a tick piece of gauze hastily slapped on his arm before he hid it behind his back. Diomedes teleported away, avoiding this awkwardness as he meandered with his errand. The Unown D had avoided being too out in the open around Raphael. The past week had been rough, no need to worsen it with a creepy eye that followed Mint around. Uncomfortable as it had been, its trainer had done their best to reassure amidst tired kisses and small handfuls of treats when conscious. [break][break]

Mint isn't sure if Raphael is aware of Winter and the extent of his machinations or the dark stigma associated with the Unown after all the DRK Triad attacks. But Diomedes was innocent. Like any other pokemon, if strange looking. And he was his. [break][break]

But even as he covers for his pokemon, he can't help but flinch when Raphael snaps at him. His eyes go wide despite trying to brace an almost neutral expression. “Medical.” Comes just as quickly. “I-it's just a blood draw-” he continued, voice shaking as Raphael quiets with genuine concern. He'd hoped he would have more time. He didn't want to disappoint him. He didn't want to explain it either. But Raph hovered with deep, sad eyes and all he felt was failure. [break][break]

How was he so highly regarded as a Rocket, but had slipped up so much. Again, instinct calls to just delete the memory entirely and replace it with something else. And again, he feels nauseous at the thought of attempting that on Raphael. “Don't.” He warned, still on edge. “Please. D-Don't worry about it anymore.” He knows he asks doe the impossible but maybe Raphael could pretend, just this once, he hadn't stumbled into another one of Mint's secrets.

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it's a highway, highway to the dark [break]
and a neon medusa's got your heart .

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Mint doesn't need to a super spy with honed body language reading and whatever fucking els epsychological credentials one could dig up to know Raphael is upset. And the hurt runs deep and vast. Because, sure enough, all the care he had put into crafting this house of cards didn't matter. It's still a house of cards. And Mint was the idiot that knocked it over. He'd grown too attached, too reliant on the affections of someone outside his organization. [break][break]

He'd hurt him without meaning to with his ploys for control and his ever manicured life he let Raphael see. Now Raph had seen too much and nothing added up, did it? He wasn't what his audience expected. He wasn't the perfection he had created from scratch all those years ago. Under the veneer of this pretty boy with easy interests, was still him shaking and clawing his way to make sure nobody ever found the real him again. To ensure, he never disappointed anyone again. [break][break]

Mint can't lie to him. Not because he'd feel bad (he would, a little), but because he's sure Raphael can smell the lies wafting off him like noxious fumes. He's lied so much already. He's reeling. [break][break]

Raphael speaks and he wants to cry. ”Please-” They were supposed to be easy, unspoken. Nebulous in their affections with each other. It wasn't worth calling it anything else. He wouldn't let himself commit that hard ever again. But he also can't stand the overwhelming urge to tey and comfort him. To soothe his worries and promise that he'd be a good boy, he'd never do it again, and lie lie lie lie lie. [break][break]

“I don't know what to say to make it better.” His confession is choked, knowing exactly what might soothe Raph's worries and refusing to consider it. He had to hide. He had to. “Don't ask me for something I can't give you.” he blurted, selfishly, leveraging Raphael's affection for his own comfort. Mint can ask for the impossible, but he won't give it. And the thoguht tears him apart inside.

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it's a highway, highway to the dark [break]
and a neon medusa's got your heart .

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He grips his arm tighter, as he goes through every option and fails. “I'm not-” he began to protest but his words fall away weakly. There's no conviction left in them. And then something hits wrong, and Raphael's demeanor shifted. And now Mint isn't doing damage control. He's being left alone. Unquestioned.[break][break]

This is the best possible outcome. [break][break]

He's pushed a good man to his breaking point, taken too much for his own good. He's gotten greedy and overestimated his own importance. Now Raphael is walking away and he doesn't know how to fix it. “Raph, that's not-” he doesn't even finish because its still a lie. He'd meant every word. Even as he turned to leave, he knew he did. He froze, unsure of how to salvage this. [break][break]

It's not like Raphael would snitch. He'd taken the wing thing in stride, adored it maybe. He'd helped nurse him back to health and kept him company. He didn't want him to commit to Rocket for no reason. It wouldn't serve him, and Mint could do enough on his own. [break][break]

“I just-” but Raph is moving and he has so little time before they step out for good. “I didn't want you to hate me!” He yelled, as he watched his back moved farther and farther away. Every step hurt. Another fuck up. Ironically, the outcome he had tried so hard to avoid. Maybe he's not as charming as he thought. “Or get caught up in- my shit- my- m-my work-” He walked the line of what he can and can't say. [break][break]

Nothing worked. Nothing helped. He's still caught in limbo, still lucid. Still watching Raphael's back. But the damage is done. He deflates, hopeless. He wanted to cry and couldn't, seeing the crystal clear HD image of him leaving. “I'm sorry! I'm- I'm so sorry.” he'd get hurt if he let him in. If he knew about Neon.

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it's a highway, highway to the dark [break]
and a neon medusa's got your heart .

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Mint followed, because it was all he could think to do. Keep Raphael in his line of sight. “Not yet.” He said, fists tightening till the whites of knuckles glowed in the low light of his apartment. “I-it's not about trust for me!” He snapped, desperately trying to articulate and suddenly finding himself grasping for words and not screams of frustration.[break][break]

“I didn't want you to get hurt.” He'd never forgive himself for it. Even if he couldn't bear to label what was between them, he knew he wouldn't have forgiven himself if Raphael stubbornly stepped into the arena with him.[break][break]

Mint's words burn him from the inside because he knows he can't take back what he said next. Shame burns him, not from what he was, but that he'd failed Raph. Mint hadn't wanted him to even suspect something was amiss. But he's been sloppy lately. And Raphael was too observant at times. He's grateful Raph had turned to face the door. If he looked at him like that again- sad, hurt, betrayed- he didn't think he could bear it. “I-it's all research- the blood. I did some- I'm currently researching avatars and legends at- at a private facility.” [break][break]

His words stumble and fall out. Mint stopped and started over and over again, in real time editing vague statements into kernels of truth. Sometimes even more than once as he cut through the layers of his own bullshit, work sloppy but as long as it gave Raphael pause he didn't fucking care. “Not the League.” He corrected breath hitching as he felt himself short of breath. He shook his head, body rejecting this forced honesty but if his last memory of Raphael was this he wanted to say he tried. His voice drops a little, not trying to confess loudly. “I work under- I- I'm associated-” His tongue ties trying to downplay to severity of this, but Mint's made up his mind. [break][break]

“Rocket. I run it- my own program. I am one. I-” what the fuck had he done? He felt the warning in the back of his mind. The fear overtaking. The urge to change Raphael's reality if he just decided to.

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it's a highway, highway to the dark [break]
and a neon medusa's got your heart .

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