You ever hear a Disarming Voice from a Feebas? It's fucking disturbing. The worst part? The guaranteed hits. The Feebas is disarming the entire party because that fish was not made to sing.

"Make it stop!" Ian has never agreed with Mr. Clowes more. He's already thinking about what a delicacy Feebas sushi platter is. Ian throws the Safari Ball at the Feebas to shut the fish up.

By some miracle, it worked. Sweet silence reigns again, and the group is free to pursue the lost member of their expedition. Wind blows, and grass rustles. Ian is ready to punch another Pokemon in the face if it's under four feet.

@ safari spawn

Remember when Ian thought that he was going to punch a Pokemon under four feet?

A Bagon is exactly two feet tall. Think Ian is going to punch a dragon?

Guess again, bitch. Especially when that dragon was in the middle of setting an oddish on fire with ember. Ian wishes that he wasn't doing that. Burning Oddish tended to get poisonpowder everywhere.

"Aphrodite, hit it with a piece of ice, or something." Ian lazily points at the Bagon. The Cloyster smashes an Icicle Crash on the Bagon. Ian follows up by booping it on the nose with a Safari Ball. The Oddish scurries off, not even bothering to express thanks to their gracious savior. Constituents. you can’t expect gratitude. 

The hunt for Clowes the Stupider Younger must continue.

@ safari spawn

This one is less than four feet tall, and not a dragon. However, even Ian has a conscience about punching a Minccino in the face.

"Alright, you little brat. If you've seen a teenage boy pass by earlier, then you better confess now." The Cloyster is the only one doing any threatening, preferring to point its front spike against the Mincinno's chin. The Pokemon flails, and points in a northern direction.

There's nothing stopping the wild Pokemon from lying, but the distressed yelling was a little too realistic. "Let's hurry."

For once, the group is moving as quickly as Ian had initially wanted.

The Minccino runs away as the humans leave.

@ safari spawn

Here is the king of the forest: an overgrown Charizard, fat on the fruits of Charmeleon's labor.

Ian could have just rescued the boy and left. He could have, but his eyes are on the Charizard. What a prize. Blessings never fall to those who sit on their hands and wait.

His Gigalith begins by Smacking Down the charizard. He attempts to retaliate with Metal Claw, but Atlas is ready with an Iron Defense. Stone Edge cuts through the dragon's wings. Blood begins to congeal on the rocks.

Ian can't help but be a showman. Nature is vicious, bloody, and cruel. These men in the back of the truck, they think they are leaders but they are weak. They are allowed to feast and carouse, so long as they pay tribute to the one who allows for their gluttony.

He stands ready with a Safari Ball. He is about to capture the Charizard when a Charmander comes up to blast him with a Dragon Rage. Would have, if one of the Stealth Rocks had not knocked him skyward. It's a bloody free-for-all as the fire Pokemon all advance upon them. Rocks knock out the weaker Pokemon, while Atlas shoots down the rest.

Ian keeps one Charmander as a souvenir. The others lay bleeding in the grass. He waves to the truck. "Hey, anyone here hungry? I know a great place at Fortree."

@ end