[attr="class","star1"]

[attr="class","star2"]

It was cute, regardless of what Enzo thought about it. Kosei didn't say as much though, he didn't need to. Enzo understood the appeal, even if he wanted to play dumb about it. What was not cute, was the shameless display that followed. Sometimes, it was hard to keep up with Enzo and the other was likely well aware of that fact. It was an annoyance to say the least.
[break][break]
"That's what you think." He muttered in response, not about to give him the eager response that he likely hoped for. Even if it still planted a rather pesky seed under his skin as fingers curled beneath his chin. It reminded him of that night, weeks before when they let themselves have the thing in life they wanted.
[break][break]
Despite the nagging hunger under his skin, he was not in a rush to give Enzo any satisfaction at this rate, especially not the cheeky kind. At least the idiot refrained from calling him dog for two seconds, otherwise he might have been nursing a bruise the rest of the night.
[break][break]
Instead, he simply followed the other as they headed back downstairs. The lobby of the hotel was already heavy with people, and more were only just arriving. Enzo had certainly made his name in Mossdeep, that much was for certain. It was nice, that something the other had worked so hard for had finally come to fruition.
[break][break]
Kosei, however, felt a little out of his depth and was somewhat glad he wouldn't have to deal with any actual weight of interaction. He'd do better to find the nearest waiter with champagne and wait for this ridiculous thing to be over. Enzo was welcome to do his thing in the meanwhile.

[break][break]

---

[attr="class","star3"]
[attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠

[attr="class","star1"]

[attr="class","star2"]

"Not well enough, clearly." This time it was spoken with humor on his tongue and a barely suppressed laugh. Enzo had always made him softer than he'd believed himself capable of. For some reason, it felt so... natural with him. Even though he'd never had that softness before to use as an example. It had always been clumsily offered because of that. In truth, it had always been terrifying how easily the other could make him change. He wasn't perfect with Enzo, but he didn't have to be.
[break][break]
"Well here lies your opportunity to amend that misconception." It hadn't escaped him that he stopped getting irritated with that stupid nickname. Maybe even puppy was starting to warm to him. He smirked crookedly, "I'm still skeptical."
[break][break]
Fingers slipped beneath his thighs and pulled him closer, making his breath shallow and skin shiver. "No maybe about it." He grumbled, leaning forward to kiss that very same tattoo. It was long a lasting kiss, almost barely there. Soft, even.
[break][break]
Kosei rolled his eyes at that, "You didn't seem to find it funny, at first. You were real worried there, weren't you? Pissed even." Admittedly, there was a part of him that had craved that response. Even if it had been angry, maybe especially because it had been. It was unfamiliar to him though, considering back then when he had wanted more Enzo had practically run away.
[break][break]
He liked the closeness between them, the slow pull until there was very little space between them anymore. He felt a hollow pit in his throat, an aching twist that wrung tighter as the other man spoke. He sighed at that, looking away then. There was an unexpected vulnerability in that, seeing Enzo looking at him like that. Without replying, he leaned forward until his head respect against the curve of the other's neck. The warmth of skin against his own. "I ask myself that a lot.... what do I want?" Still, in the big picture, he never really knew. "I just want you.... with me. I've missed you. It's been lonely, without you." He sighed between admittances, hating the weakness there.





[break][break]

---

[attr="class","star3"][attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠

[attr="class","star1"]

[attr="class","star2"]

Something about seeing Enzo fret over his kid, awakened some swoony part of him. It was the mushiest feeling and he decided that he hated it, but he didn't hate the fact that Enzo cared about Miu. For a long time there, before he'd act out stupidly, it had been just the two of them completely out of their depth. Then again, Enzo had been the one with the unexpected knowledge. Kosei had never been around kids and knew next to nothing about caring for them. He'd even taken a class for it, surrounded by women that flirted with him incessantly (much to Enzo's amusement).
[break][break]
"It's cute though," Almost a proper dad. Kosei wasn't sure he'd ever felt like a proper one, he was simply lucky to have kept his kid alive this long. Had he been able to right then, he might have tried encouraging the other not to go to this stupid party and do other things instead. However, sadly, this was Enzo's responsibility and Kosei wasn't going to be the one to ruin that.
[break][break]
It was true, he wasn't exactly pleased that he was essentially attending this party to stand around and talk to people he didn't give two shits about, but he was also curious. He wanted to see Enzo in this place, the place they both worked hard for and Enzo had made it work in the end. Being in the hotel though... it sometimes made him feel a little out of place, maybe a little guilty. A constant reminder that he'd bailed when things got tough.
[break][break]
He jumped a little at the smack. Muttering beneath his breath, "Jackass." It was cut out by the curt laugh and the swear to get him back. How were they supposed to play off just friends at this rate? He had no idea. Though he wasn't about to lose composure over a few spare hours wanting and not being able to have. Maybe he could have fun after all.

[break][break]

---

[attr="class","star3"]
[attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠

[attr="class","star1"]

[attr="class","star2"]

"You're lucky I don't kick your ass more often." He scoffed at that, not that he'd made a habit of ever kicking his ass. Mostly it had always been pointless threats to hide behind so that he didn't have to admit to being flustered or even charmed by the jerk. As if it wasn't obvious though, try as he might, especially with the latter. It was still a strange new thing to chew, considering there was a time he'd believed they'd never get along again. Let alone this closely. He knew a large part of his younger self had wished for it though.
[break][break]
"So you think I'm dusty? No good? Huh?" He said, attempting an edge of insult to such a thing. "Okay well then, enlighten me. If you can." He said with a challenge in his smile. Yet still his hands were soft, less of an introduction to provocation than... well comfort. It was still strange for him. His hands weren't designed for softness though perhaps that wasn't true. Miu taught him to be patient and soft. He wasn't the same person anymore, which was clear in the ache he felt for something so foreign as comfort.
[break][break]
Any moment, they might wake up and dispel the illusion of softness. "Maybe you should listen to me more." The fingers of his free hand traced the tattoo on the other's throat distractedly. He smiled as kisses pressed to the knuckles of his other hand. It was nice, any way he looked at it. How could he not crave this?
[break][break]
"Weren't supposed to laugh... it was supposed to be legitimate or... something. Always seem to be fucking things up, don't I?"




[break][break]

---

[attr="class","star3"][attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠

[attr="id","moontop"]

[attr="id","moonpost1"]

Enzo reminded him that even in military school, he could still somehow be the odd man out. It wasn't exactly an unusual situation, and he knew there was probably more that he could do to change, but...
[break][break]
Kosei frowned at that question. "Whatever, doesn't matter. I don't care what you think." Only, for reasons he couldn't explain, he did care. It was stupid. It was the path of greatest resistance and highest chance of disappointment, but he did care what an idiot like Enzo thought of him. Maybe he was stupid or enjoyed the humiliation of it, he didn't want to know.
[break][break]
As the other enacted his circus act, Kosei wondered if maybe he already regretted it but it far too late to turn back without coming off as more of loser. Even as he watched the bottle lower in the other's hand, it was too late to turn back. Even then, an objection rested on his tongue. He could feel near-robotic protocol hammering in his head and he nearly repeated as much about alcohol being prohibited on campus. Yet that was the opposite point that he wanted to prove, thus kept his mouth firmly shut.
[break][break]
"Drinking? That's your big plan? Okay." He grumbled, trying to sound nonchalant about it.

[attr="class","moonbottom"]

[attr="class","star1"]

[attr="class","star2"]

"Enzo, she'll be fine." He laughed at that, knowing that he had been far worse in his worry about 80% of the time. It was still humorous to see the other buzzing with some paternal anxiety for once. It was also unexpectedly nice, which felt far too sentimental for his liking. This was really making him soft, wasn't it? Though, was that a bad thing? Did it need to be inherently bad that he wasn't rigid 24/7? Probably not. Happiness was hard for him though, it felt too easy.
[break][break]
Enzo began fussing with his tie, which was a frightening comparison of years prior when he had been the one constantly fussing over the other. He had half the mind to continue teasing the other over that fact, but it was also a sweet gesture that he didn't want to lose. Instead, quietly, he let the other continue fussing until the tie was at an acceptable angle and smoothness. "You done yet?" He snickered, "I didn't come all this way to hang out in your suite." He could avoid socializing perfectly fine in his own home without travelling out to Mossdeep.
[break][break]
To force the other to relax, he pressed a kiss to the other man's mouth. He knew enough that they weren't going to be in the position to be... how he wished they could be. That was alright. Totally, 100% fine. He didn't even care. So, to make that apparent, he pulled away and walked past him. "Alright, let's get this over with." Though not without glancing back, "It was rude of you to wear those dress pants though, Mr. De Luca."

[break][break]

---

[attr="class","star3"]
[attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠

[attr="class","star1"]

[attr="class","star2"]

“Nahhhh…you still like me.” Cheeky little bastard.
[break][break]
"Barely," He grumbled, though he knew it was true. He did like this jerk, always had. It was probably a little sad, but at least those feelings were unjustified or unrequited (not anymore at least). The one thing this did teach him was to leave the past well enough alone before he made a fool of himself tripping over it. That lesson may not last, but he'd put it in his pocket for next time he tried to fix things that didn't appear to be broken anymore.
[break][break]
"Dusty?" He scoffed at that, "Okay, well I'm out of practice. What's your excuse?" Enzo needed no excuse and he knew it now at least. Kosei was obviously hung up on him, else why would he go to this much trouble?
[break][break]
Yet, upon contact, he felt himself melt entirely. All the embarrassment and the restraint seemed to slip away under the touch of fingers and then, of lips on his own. It was probably far too sweet of display for the likes of them. Still, he tangled his fingers through Enzo's and lifted up in his seat. Not taking much time to close the distance, one leg swinging over Enzo's to straddle his lap. “You’re going to regret giving me that opportunity,” He said mimicking those same words. "I'm sorry though uhh for that."

[break][break]

---

[attr="class","star3"][attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠

[attr="class","star1"]

[attr="class","star2"]

How fucking embarrassing. He couldn't believe he'd been so dumb and, somehow, it was only made worse by the fact that it was with Enzo. Here he was wanting to have a nice night and he'd fumbled so damn badly. Maybe it was a little dramatic, but he had never handled embarrassment with a lot of grace. This time was really no different, but maybe it should have been relieving that it hadn't resulted in a full-blown fight between them, which easily could have happened.
[break][break]
Now, Enzo was laughing at him. A full bodied sort of laugh that made the couch move with the same frequency. "Oh my god, shut up. Stop laughing at me." Okay, maybe he was being a little whiny now. He nearly insisted further that he did not blush like a teenager, but knowing the other it would only be further weaponized against him. Especially due to the fact that he was, in fact, blushing.
[break][break]
Enzo moved closer then and, try as he might, he really couldn't find it in him to resist the pull of those hands. He sighed, clearly still flustered and frustrated. "How are you a pro about apologizing. You have never apologized for shit, jackass." Despite his words, there was no intensity or sharpness to them. And then, a stupid little smile began forming on his lips, bit by bit growing in size.
[break][break]
"You're such a jerk." He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "I was talking about then. I don't apologize for that night. You were," He shrugged then, "mmmm... not bad, I guess. So I might continue taking advantage of you."

[break][break]

---

[attr="class","star3"][attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠

[attr="class","star1"]

[attr="class","star2"]

Who would have thought he could cause a huge communication debacle with very little effort? Everyone, probably. Kosei felt all twisted up, like a bad itch he couldn't scratch. The confusion felt palpable, like a bad taste he couldn't get out of his mouth. Something cocky formed on the other's face as he turned to look at him, twisting on the couch like a lazy feline. It was about then that Kosei realized he might have messed up. He didn't know how, but he conveyed his thoughts wrong and made a mess of things as he often did.
[break][break]
He both hated and loved that cocky stupid smile, yet less so then when it was turned on him and made him doubt every life choice he'd ever made. "I was talking about before... when I... left." Then, it finally dawned on him. It was slow and yet impactful, enough to make him feel like an utter idiot. "You thought I meant—" He felt his whole face burn with the embarrassment of it as his mind worked through the words he'd just said under an entirely different context.
[break][break]
Without attempting to correct himself or apologize further he could only make a pitiful sound and hide his face behind his hands. He curled up a little, hiding away so that maybe the full force of the humiliation didn't sting too bad. "I'm so stupid. Oh my god." It all made sense now at least, but he also realized he was actually a total moron. He'd been so confident too, calling the other a dumbass. "That's not what I meant," He said, words muffled by his hands. His face felt hot against his palms. He wasn't gonna live this down, was he?


[break][break]

---

[attr="class","star3"][attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠

[attr="class","star1"]

[attr="class","star2"]

At some point, something had changed between them. It felt like they spoke in different languages now, when before it had been quite easy to deduce what the other was thinking. Right then, he hadn't a clue what Enzo was thinking. There was an air of frigid refinement about him that used to be raw and dirty. They were different and maybe he'd jumped to conclusions thinking that things were different just because they'd resorted to old habits. It hadn't meant anything then so why would that change?
[break][break]
"I miss you, kosei." Okay yeah, maybe that was why. Enzo certainly had never told him that before during those times when they'd found comfort or bliss in one another. It didn't take him long then to feel the other shut down and he wanted to stop. Maybe he should stop, before he said something truly stupid. It was admittedly confusing. Maybe Enzo had outgrown him, it wasn't as if he didn't fear that ultimately. All that time ago, feeling like he hadn't changed at all, meanwhile Enzo felt so... different. It was intimidating, even now.
[break][break]
"Overkill?" He murmured in response, barely able to hold his confusion. His first assumption was that he'd said too much. It didn't feel too emotional, it just felt honest, but then again he didn't actively discuss the shit that went on in his head. By the time it came out, it felt jumbled and exhausted and turbulent.
[break][break]
Something was wrong though. Maybe because he couldn't read Enzo, he didn't know. He had seen the other close off before. Wasn't this what he wanted to hear? That he was sorry for blaming him for shit that wasn't his fault? For leaving like the other had been the problem and not himself.
[break][break]
Kosei paused abruptly at that. "Uh... what?" Talk about a one track mind. "Uh, no, I still very much want to sleep with you, dumbass. What are you talking about?"

[break][break]

---

[attr="class","star3"][attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠

[attr="class","star1"]

[attr="class","star2"]

"Maybe, but it's an invitation nonetheless." He shrugged, knowing a younger version of himself probably wouldn't have offered. Not out of lack of care, but more due to the fact that talking about problems wasn't apart of the Kiryu doctrine. Even then, it had been more permissible to have Enzo complain than to dare do so himself. Granted, Enzo provoked a lot of response from him that no one else could ever manage. This bastard had always been the exception, hadn't he?
[break][break]
This wasn't probably a bad idea, it definitely was a bad idea. Opening old wounds wasn't exactly what he'd planned to do tonight when he invited the other over. Actually, he hadn't known what he was planning to do and all of it had been a bit of an anxious mess, but this wasn't it. Some dinner, a little wine, maybe they watch a movie or chill out aaannnd then well things could either happen or not. That was how things naturally happened, right? He didn't know, nothing about this felt normal. However, Enzo being in his home felt different. They weren't in the hotel, but his home. And he felt stupidly responsible to explain himself.
[break][break]
The next sip of wine was entirely too rushed, but maybe that was the only way to drink cheap wine. Kosei's life felt like a pattern of incidents where his nerves left him in a worse place than he started. He looked up and Enzo was perched like he owned the sofa and the house and the whole damn street. He was a lot different now than the street kid he'd used to be and Kosei couldn't claim to have helped him get to that point. This wasn't going the way he wanted it to. Maybe Enzo was still pissed?
[break][break]
It wasn't like they had solved their problems by sleeping together. So, yeah, Enzo was probably still bitter about it all. Kosei frowned though, having been told his actions should've been expected didn't quite sit right with him. However, he was the one apologizing so it wasn't like he could get pissed off because Enzo didn't give him the response he wanted.
[break][break]
"Well I shouldn't have... I don't know. Look, I won't lie — Miu is a lot, she consumed all my time and my energy. So, I feel like... yeah, I took advantage of you being there. And then, I fucked up. I shouldn't have put that on you though. You didn't do anything wrong and it wasn't your fault. It was my fault and I didn't mean anything I said. It wasn't true, and yeah I'm sorry." That didn't sound right, but hopefully he got the gist of it. "I'm sorry, I really do fucking suck at this talking about feelings thing."





[break][break]

---

[attr="class","star3"][attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠

[attr="id","moontop"]

[attr="id","moonpost1"]

Maybe Kosei wasn't so much mad at Enzo as he was at his own circumstance. Maybe even at himself. He'd configured this perfect safe place away from all the expectation and then, suddenly, things were different. He couldn't even have his room to relax in, could he? Even here, he needed to lead by example and be the bigger person. Only now, he had to somehow make this guy do the same? He wasn't exactly qualified for that and, even more so, he didn't want to force the guy into doing anything. It wasn't in his nature.
[break][break]
The other's retort then only proved that because it made him hate himself a little more for it. He sounded like his dad, call the other garbage just because he led a life separate from theirs. Truthfully, he as envious of the other, in a way.
[break][break]
"I don't have time for fun, doesn't mean I don't know how." Clearly false, he hadn't a damn clue. If put in a place were he was forced to have a good time, he felt like a confused puppy. Like the party he'd gone to, the way the place got quieter when he'd shown up. It felt alien, he hated it.
[break][break]
Then it was Enzo's turn to bite back on the jugular and Kosei felt himself tense up. Yet it was, of course, a controlled response. As to be expected of him. Never let them know it bothers you. Though he also didn't have anything for a comeback at that point. "I don't always follow orders." Another lie. The truth was he pretended sometimes that he snapped back and disobeyed, just to see the look on their faces, but then he would wake from the daydream and do what he was told.
[break][break]
Kosei rolled his eyes at that, "I'm not— whatever.." He shook his head, "As long as its in the dorm, I don't care what you do."

[attr="class","moonbottom"]

[attr="class","star1"]

[attr="class","star2"]

"Feel free to complain," He said, about to add a tease that the other never made an issue doing that before, but refrained. He didn't want to come off as seeming unwelcoming to the complaints. He'd always made to seem begrudging when it came to listening to Enzo's problems, but he'd always secretly felt possessive of them. He'd never been capable of fixing Enzo's problems, but he was the person that the other chose to disclose them with. It was a stupid thing to value though.
[break][break]
There was a deep pang of guilt then, when you're around. Even if the bitterness wasn't there, residue of guilt threaded through Kosei's conscience. Their last conversation before... well everything. It had been his fault, he should have been better. Part of him wanted to say something, but he didn't know what so simply didn't say anything at all. Maybe this was a bad idea, bringing them both back together where all the ill-shit that had happened could come back up. He was a coward, so it was easier to hide.
[break][break]
Of course, Enzo caught on annoyingly fast. The years had gifted the other with the precision necessary to know when Kosei was over-thinking, among many other things. "No, I'm not.." He grumbled, biting off the edge of a sigh because there really was no point in denying it. "Well, maybe I am but.." Another grumbled, bitten off word as he focused another mouthful of lasagna as if that might fix all of his problems.
[break][break]
Yet, maybe for the first time ever, Enzo didn't provoke him. He didn't even try a little to force him into opening up. It was a bit bizarre. Or maybe it was suspicious, he didn't know. Kosei eyed him a little, mouth too full to utter more stupid words. The wine was not very good, but Kosei wasn't exactly a connoisseur of the good shit. Finally, having scarfed down an appropriate amount of pasta for the night, he figured it was probably cruel not to say anything. Though it wasn't any of the things he'd previously wanted to say.
[break][break]
"I fucked up and... I'm sorry, Enzo. Really."





[break][break]

---

[attr="class","star3"][attr="class","rouxcredit"]♠