"OW!"

Big Man hit a big blow right in Lizzie's face, sending her reeling back and falling to the ground. What the heck? Why had this dork gotten so strong all of a sudden? Wait... No, they couldn't! They had EVOLVED?! The Sneasel's eyes went wide with shock. Then, once the surprise wore off, the emotion that rushed to replace it was anger.

"Why, you...! You think you're better than me, huh? HUH?!" Lizzie screamed, so furious that her eyes were tearing up. But she wasn't crying! It was just because that jerk had poked her eyes and now they were watering! And she was allergic to stupidity, so being around that Kirlia was making it worse! "W-w-well you're not! I'm the best, you hear me? I'M THE BEST! I'M THE BEST I'M THE BEST I'M THE BEST I'M THE BEST I'M THE BEST I'M--"

And thus, Lizzie proceeded to throw what could only be called the least justified temper tantrum of all time. She proceeded to drop down to the ground and thrash wildly about, all the while screeching about how she was, in fact, the best. It was a new, innovative type of attack, one that targeted the ears instead of the hair! Truly, a devastatingly attack...

...Hang on, were her arms and legs getting longer, or...?

---

@maoja

Ah, drat! That was one of those there Gothidames, wasn't it? The kind that could read minds and see the future? That was no good. If she tried to go through with the hit now, she'd be sniffed out in an instant! But then again, she couldn't exactly stop and turn around either, could she? That'd be even more suspicion than if she kept going. No, there was no turning back now. She'd just have to think on her feet.

It was a good thing, then, that this god-awful club was so packed. As she swam through the sea of people, she briefly passed by some manner of waiter, and took the opportunity to snag a pair of expensive-looking drinks from their tray. And the best part was, she got away with a hitch! That rube didn't even know what hit them... Or, maybe they did? With all the flashing lights and booming music, it was hard to tell, and even if she was noticed, she couldn't exactly be followed, what with the bustling crowd... Oh well! Either way, it still went off without a hitch!

With that hurdle cleared, all that was left was to do was to fool that Psychic type. Luckily, she was pretty smart when it came to this sort of thing. She had a mind like a steel trap! All she had to do was carefully cultivate her thoughts to trick it...

So, as she approached the Xenon with drinks in hand, she would do just that.

Oh BOY, I cannot wait to DRINK ALCOHOL with the OWNER OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT! I would love to hear her TALK ABOUT HER NICHE INTERESTS and LISTEN TO HER PHILOSOPHIES! I sure hope there's nobody has a problem with that!

---

Xenon Antheil

"...Huh?"

She blinked. What the hell? When did this runt get so tall? And what happened to that cool helmet she just trying to take? All of a sudden, it had been replaced by gross green hair. She looked around her surroundings, but saw no sign of it anywhere. But then, where the hell had it gone? What was going on here?!

"HEY!" Lizzie snapped. The good news was, she finally stopped trying to pull Big Man's head off. The bad news was, she instead grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and began to furiously shake him back and forth. "Where'd you put that hat? And why'd you get so big all of a sudden, huh? You better tell me, or else...!"

Or else... Or else she'd... Darn, what the hell was she supposed to do? She didn't know, but she was sure it'd be bad news for this little twerp, so he'd better answer!

---

@maoja

"Swell!"

And just like that, she plucked the pen off from the clipboard and hastily signed the dotted line, then the second dotted line, and finally flipped over the page to sign the third dotted line. Then, she proceeded to hand the clipboard back, sans pen, before grabbing the package. Ooo, what could be in this, she wondered? It could be so many things!

"Huh, me?" Bullet answered June's question, only half-listening as she tore open the package like a hungry dog savaging a piece of raw meat. "Oh, y'know, normal gangster stuff. Drug deals, protection rackets, smuggling. That sort of thing! Didn't the boys fill you in on this before they hired you? Jeez, you really should listen more, lady. If a cop had pulled you over on the way here, you'd be in real trouble!"

Oh, of course. This person was a criminal. In hindsight, that was maybe a little obvious... Wait, had June been carrying something illegal? That question would quickly be answered as the self-admitted lawbreaker finally managed to rip the last shreds of tape off the package, causing the contents to tumble onto the ground--

BANG!

--Which caused the gun to misfire. Oops.

---

june sleigh

BONK!

As the rogue cylinder richocheted off of the Sneasel's forehead and bounced into the distance, Lizzie could only stand there, stunned. Her claw slowly reached up, gingerly touching the raw lump forming on top of her face. Had this little twerp just attacked her? They had DARED to lay a finger on her?! Didn't they know who they were dealing with?!?!?!

She was Lizzie the Claw! Queen of the criminal underworld, assassin of curtains and carpets, and Bullet's cutest and best and most favorite Pokemon! And she wasn't about to let this little idiot disrespect her like that and get away with it!

"That's it!" She snarled, grabbing onto the Ralts' stupid head as hard as she could, and beginning to pull with all of her might and even more of her spite. "GIVE ME THAT HAT!"

---

@maoja

"Yup, that's me! Bullet Valentine, at your service!"

At that, the door swung open, and the woman stepped out, arms resting on her hips. So, this person was from "Sleigh Fast Deliveries", huh? She wasn't familiar with the name. Were the boys using different delivery services without getting her permission first? Still, she pushed her suspicions aside. Odds are, this lady was just as trustworthy as any other courier. She had to be, because she knew the secret passcode, "Arceus Fuck"!

Double still, she hadn't ordered anything recently, nor were there any deliveries scheduled for today. Ooo, maybe this was a surprise! The gangster clapped her hands together, eyes going even wider than previously thought possible. What could it be, what could it be?!

"SO! Whattaya got for me?"

---

june sleigh

And so, June was left to wait.

That was hardly unusual. People didn't just wait by their door so they could immediately receive whatever package they had ordered. No, usually, they had to quickly scramble out from the kitchen or down from the bedroom as soon as they heard a knock on the door or the ringing of a doorbell. Having to wait a few seconds? That was hardly strange.

But a few minutes? That was a little more irregular. The deliverygirl was just left to stand there out in the cold. Sure, she could've just turned around and left, but starting the day out with an undelivered package? That hardly set a good precedent for the rest of the day, and it'd surely lead to her getting chewed out by her supervisor. Although, thinking about it, was this a real job, or had she fallen victim to some stupid prank? After all, what kind of name was "Bullet Valentine"? Maybe it's one of those fake names, like "Seymour Butz", or "Ben Dover", or--

KER-CHUNK! All of a sudden, a slot on the door revealed itself as it slid open, and a pair of bright-eyes peered out. They looked around for a moment, before peering down at June with suspicion.

"What's the password?"

---

june sleigh

"The Ultramodern". What a disgrace! To steal the Black Note from her was one thing, and to put the kibosh on The Black Note on it was another, but this? It was like putting clown makeup on a corpse and propping it up at the circus! And did they really think she would just take this sitting down? No. There was a price to pay for insulting the Valentine Gang, and tonight, Xenon Civitas Antheili was going to write the cheque.

And Bullet Danger Valentine was going to cash it in.

The plan was simple - First, she needed to get inside. That was easy-peasy. See, she had a few of her boys working in the delivery company, and they managed to smuggle her in right under their noses. Sure, sitting in a crate for eight hours was no fun, but on the bright side, it was a crate full of napkins, so it was the comfiest eight hours she'd ever spent inside a crate! Stepping out of the box and walking off her various cramps and pains, she'd successfully managed to infiltrate the basement.

Second, she needed a disguise. Something that'd let her get close to the owner so she could knock her off. Skulking up the stairs and through the hallways, Bullet managed to make her way to some kind of locker room. This had to be where all the employees changed into their newfangled hideous fashion outfits! And it was good timing, too, because there was only one other person in here. It was all too easy to perform a silent and stealthy takedown...

SLAM! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

One tackle and six punches to the face later, the poor bartender was unconscious, and Bullet claimed her outfit for herself. It was a shiny dress, the kind meant to provoke reactions from the classless bottomfeeders that flocked to these dens of degeneracy. Upon donning it herself, it became immediately apparent that it didn't fit her at all, being meant for someone far taller, wider, and bigger than herself. Worse still, it didn't exactly have much in the way of pockets, which made it difficult to conceal any weapons on her person. All and all, it was a poor choice of camoflauge, but needs must when there was a hits to carry out! She'd just have to make a few compromises, pull a few strings, tape a few parts. It'd all work out!

And after a good ten minutes of fiddling and adjusting, she would move onward, leaving the locker room behind and entering into the club proper. Time for the third part of the plan - Track down the mark.

...Oh. There she was. She was making a speech up on the second floor, drink in hand, smile on her face, and seemingly unaware that tonight was the night she was going to meet her maker. Perfect. With her target spotted, Bullet would make her way across the dance floor and up the stairs, trying to get closer to Xenon.

All part of step four, of course - Closing the distance.

---

Xenon Antheil
Bullet's "Disguise"

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!

Long claws scratched and tore at a blanket, reducing the previously comfortable quilt into a tattered rag in a matter of seconds. And yet, even that was not enough to quell the destructive desire of the offending hands. They kept on scratching, scratching and scratching and scratching until there was nothing left to scratch, leaving nothing but a ruined heap of fabric behind.

And then, it was tossed away like the trash it was. Such was the whimsy of Lizzie the Claw, who wanted everything, got what she wanted, got bored quickly, and got rid of things she didn't want anymore. Having just finished her fifteen minute beauty nap, and having savaged the duvet she had slept in, now she was off to find her next amusement. And, as soon as she turned around and laid eyes on the little Ralts in front of her, her gaze settled on his stupid little head.

"Hey, dork! That's a dumb helmet. Give it to me!"

---

@maoja

Smiling Sitters™. On one hand, it was the lowest rated Pokemon daycare in Mauville City, so dire that it was ranked within the bottom ten in all of Hoenn. On the other hand, it was also the quickest, the cheapest, and it asked the least questions. That made it very popular amongst two types of people: Common criminals, and those with no other choice.

And as it happened, one of those two was arriving to the run-down building right now.

"Hey, Antonio!" Bullet beamed as she kicked the door open, strutting up to the front desk as though she owned the place. And, considering how much money she was laundering through here? She practically did own the place! But this time, she wasn't here to clean her dirty dimes. No, this visit was much more mundane. "Me and the boys got big business to attend to out in Slateport, see? So be a doll and watch my darling little angels for me!"

"You got it, ma'am--"

THUMP! Before the daycare attendant could even finish his sentence, an important-looking briefcase was slammed down onto the table. The man didn't even have the chance to open it before the woman had turned around and left, happily humming to herself as she went. Still, that was hardly surprising. After all, it wasn't the first time she had done this, and it likely wouldn't be the last. So, opening the case, Antonio would take out to six Pokeballs within, and enter deeper into the building...

---

@maoja

Golly gee whizz I'm taking for November with @maoja

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, You're tellin' me those saws on your back actually work?!"

VROOM. WHIRR. "Lo."

"WOAH! That's groovy!"

Bullet looked at the bugman, eyes wide with admiration. These insects were so cool! They're just like the Mighty Morphin' Kamen Riders she used to watch when she was a kid. And there's so many of them, too, just like when they did those special episodes where all the Riders showed up to fight the bad guys!

Maybe she could snag one for herself? Sure, she wasn't exactly in the "truth, justice, and heroism" business, but she was still in business, and her business needed Pokemon to help run it! With a grin on her face, she grabbed a Pokeball from her belt.

"Let's roll!"

---

wv93lORm