[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]implications are laid out because of her and her need for whatever this is. and while they might not be accurate, it's enough to keep them rooted in place. him out of hope, out of longing. and her? out of desperation. she doesn't want to lose this. not yet. it's a game she wants to continue and maybe he's unwilling to play games anymore but she's not.

her frustrations are getting the better of her, though. it's easy to tell that she's shifting into annoyance and quickly. the way her lips twist into a mild scowl, the way she lets a soft growl slip.

"i can't," she retorts and her arms cross over her chest. ever the difficult one, it seems. "it's not that fucking simple." she's not that simple. she's a mess of complications and issues that she'll never sort out because that'd mean becoming something else and she's comfortable with how she is now. besides, feelings are terrifying and she doesn't want them. there's always ways to get hurt and even more ways to hurt someone but to be on the receiving end of her own medicine? no fucking thank you.

a sigh escapes and her shoulders deflate as if she's coming around to accepting defeat. "i can't," she repeats, softer this time. there's a lot she can't do but it always seems to come back to the same thing.

Finley Black

[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]she's never felt more like a child than in this moment. standing there, uncertain, confused in the glow of streetlights. she almost looks younger, like the teenager she never had the chance to be. and maybe that's why she stays silent when he turns to face her, when he asks the question she doesn't want to answer.

her eyes dart without permission, as if looking for a way out. an escape, something she's always used to mapping out in any situation. and every fiber in her body wants nothing more than to run away from this. it's her mind that keeps her there, that roots her into place. feet become cement, another part of the sidewalk.

"i don't know," she offers honesty but it's still not exactly what she wants to say. she knows what she wants, knows what the point in this was but saying it? that's a whole different situation, one she's not prepared for. another sigh escapes and she's testing her luck by stepping closer to him. her eyes try to find his as she murmurs, as she says words that she might not mean tomorrow. they're tinged in alcohol and something almost touching on desperation. "you, i guess."

the game, the chase, the thrill all remain left unspoken but he'll see the meanings anyway. and maybe it'll sting more when he denies her.

Finley Black

thank you so much ♥

[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]"i don't know," she's getting a little frustrated by now. it's too much information to give out, too much insight for her to want to indulge in. and she doesn't even get them in the first place. it's a confusing mess that she refuses to sort out. instead she'd merely shove them down, drown them with the next bottle of liquor she finds. healthy, g. hella healthy.

"i like you," she murmurs, watching as fewer cars drift by them. the wind is picking up by now, whipping her hair into a frenzy. she doesn't bother to smooth it back, instead letting it run rampant like whatever emotions she might have. "just not in the way you want me to."

foot, meet mouth.

it sounds worse now that she's breathing it into the spaces between them. worse and somehow more difficult to admit. she still tries, though, if only because she doesn't want to release the grip she has on him. not yet, not now, and definitely not in this way. gia, you're an asshole. "i don't get it. not really, anyway. i just kept coming back." gee, wonder why?

Finley Black

[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]she's trailing behind him, as if she doesn't want to see the reaction he's currently having. and maybe if she were beside him she'd see the tears. instead, she's oblivious as she always is and that makes it a little worse.

she'll try to explain but it'll fall short. it always will.

"no," she murmurs. "using people is easy. it's feelings that aren't." does that explain it well enough? probably not. he wouldn't understand and she can't make enough sense of it herself to even bother trying to get him to see her side. there's no point. it's a lost cause riddled with mistakes she's made.

he's right, that much she knows. she would've kept using him over and over until she grew bored. or until he put a stop to it. but knowing what she knows now? he wouldn't have and she would've made a bigger mess of his heart than she already has.

"i guess i would have." there's no denying it, not now. dealt cards are being turned face up on the table, hands revealed. it's funny, she's good at poker but with this? her hand will always come up short of winning.

Finley Black

[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]she never knew words could hit like that. like a punch to the gut or the throat or the heart. and maybe if she was more in tune with her feelings, she'd understand. but she isn't and she doesn't and there's no denying that.

she doesn't have a response for him, not yet. her brain is slow moving and struggling to understand concepts she never could.

and yet, she still follows him across the street, quiet and lost in thought. somewhere along the way, she's made a mess of this and there's no taking back what's been done. she tries, anyway, if only because he's a favorite game added to a collection she doesn't want to give up.

"i did like you," she offers. it's not in the way he means, though. not as far as she knows. it's favoritism, a game placed higher than the rest because the thrill was different and exciting and she wanted more. games like these aren't like the heists she pulls, though. she can't waltz into the home of someone's heart, take it, and leave without a trace. it's not that simple. it never has been. "i just -- i don't know how to do this."

guess today is feelings giada day.

Finley Black

[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]the question isn't what she's expecting. the look he gives her isn't either. and while she's normally able to just roll with the punches, this one kind of hurts. it's a look she doesn't fully understand, one that isn't turned toward her. she's never seen the aftermath of her actions come back to bite her in the ass.

"i," she tries but words catch in her throat and she's stuck looking uncomfortable in the streetlight's glow.

silence falls for a moment, punctured by passing cars and the usual noises of traffic. seconds tick on until they become minutes and she's heaving out a sigh. face the music, you have to.

"yeah," she says it so softly it's difficult to hear at first. her eyes avoid him, instead watching the cars that pass. "i was." there's no use denying it. no point in beating around the bush. she was using him like she always does. taking what she can and then leaving. the same game played on a loop until it's all she knows. sometimes people understand it. they'll even play the game with her. and sometimes, like right now, they don't get it and she's left with the concept that she's taking a baseball bat to a heart.

Finley Black

[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]"yes i'm serious," she doesn't notice the clipped tone she uses, the way it almost sounds like she's snapping at him. alcohol dulls enough to keep her ignorant in all senses of the situation. and maybe that's what's irritating her. it'd be easier to blame that than the simple fact that she doesn't like his tone or how quick he is to leave. huh, imagine that. the tables turned and she's not enjoying it.

"not know what?" it doesn't make sense. not enough for her to realize what's happening.

maybe she's being naive or playing herself or him but she's stepping closer, testing this tension between them. it's growing with each passing minute and she's not used to it.

"what's the issue?" her head tilts, expectant. as if she can make him look at her the closer she gets. and maybe she will or maybe he'll avoid just as she does. time to find out, she supposes.

Finley Black

[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]oh. that's, um, unexpected. she recoils from the tone, the firmness of it. it's different, foreign compared to their last encounter. and maybe it's because of something she doesn't know about or because of the man behind her but she's confused. her face twists into mild hurt and then quickly replaces hurt with confusion, as if she's not allowed to be hurt.

she says nothing at first, merely watching as he pulls out his wallet and puts a bill on the counter. fifty, too much for the three drinks he had. it sticks out, then, that he's about to leave. and there's no hesitation when she moves to leave, moves to follow.

"what is that supposed to mean?" she murmurs. james doesn't pay them any mind, newly absorbed in a conversation with the bartender. she abandons her drink and her new toy in favor of following finn, arms beginning to cross over her chest.

"why're you leaving?" she doesn't understand it. not yet, anyway. he's not giving her much insight, either.

Finley Black

[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]the lack of answers is odd, throwing her for a whole ass loop. she doesn't notice the palpable tension, chalking it up to something different. what that is, she has no idea. girl's a mess idk what to tell you. anyway, she shifts a little closer, voice dropping as if she doesn't want james to overhear her. realistically, she couldn't give a shit if he heard or not but it's fine.

"you okay?" she murmurs. there's hesitation, as if she's not expecting whatever the answer will be. and maybe he'll clap back with some snide remark or he'll even ignore her again but she's trying anyway. the chase keeps her hooked, keeps her from saying fuck it and going back to what she was originally doing. "knocking them back pretty fast, aren't you?" is she rubbing off on him? no, probably not.

james has no choice but to remove his arm from her. well, she pries herself out of it in favor of asking finn more questions but it still stings the man a bit. he rolls his eyes and turns back to his drink but the hand at her ass? yeah, it taps once against her and then retreats as well. a reminder that he's still here, that he's waiting for her to be finished so they can leave.

she ignores it for the most part, tucking it away for after she's done.

Finley Black

[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]"rough day?" she's leaning a little too close to him, pressing boundaries until they snap. and the man next to her isn't that big of a fan but neither is finn, really. she doesn't notice the growing tension, oblivious to what's going on. instead, her grin grows slightly and she's reaching for her drink without hesitation.

her head tilts at the thought, as if it's curious he's even asking. maybe it's polite and maybe it's not but she's throwing a glance over her shoulder toward the man in question anyway. she's met with a mild look of annoyance, one that she diffuses with a wink. keep him hooked, keep him strung along. funny, she's doing the same to finn if she paid much attention.

"oh, this is james," she offers, turning back to finn. james sips at his own drink, observing the two with curiosity. he doesn't miss the way finn reacts to his hand wandering, not in the slightest. and perhaps to get a rise out of him, he lets it go a little further. giada ignores it, for the most part. she's used to being grabbed. it's nothing new.

glancing around, she's raising an eyebrow. "you're by yourself?" apparently it's just her that finds warm bodies to fill the spaces of her bed everywhere. it doesn't dawn on her that he's not that kind of person, not yet anyway.

her drink is finished and discarded, the next one already within her grasp. james has abandoned his, instead adding his newly freed arm to drape around her shoulder. a claim, even if he's lacking in the art of subtlety.

Finley Black

[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]the man next to her is saying something but it sounds like white noise. lips moving but no sound filtering into her ears. instead, she's distracted, eyes drifting to the body that's approaching the bar.

oh.

an eyebrow raises for a moment, the only tell that she's surprised to see him of all people here. and it lowers within moments, settling back into its usual spot. and by then, she's turning toward him with a grin. "hey," she calls, a hand offering a little wave. should she feel a little sting over him not approaching her in the first place? probably not and if she did, she probably wouldn't notice.

the man she'd been bothering moves his hand to her waist, fingers wrapping around the exposed skin of her hip. a reminder to pay attention to him, a summoning back into his orbit and not finn's. she ignores it for a moment, head tilting to the side. "what're you doing here?" the man grumbles slightly but allows her to wait for a response, instead ordering them another round of drinks while she's distracted. at some point, his hand moves a little lower but she doesn't pay it any mind.

Finley Black

[attr="class","giada"]

[attr="class","giada b"]

[attr="class","giada i"]the seediest bar she could find, she went into. there's no preference when it comes to places to get shitty. nope, the only requirement is a stocked bar. and naturally, this one has enough to last her the night.

she tells herself this is just what she does. it's not escapism or anything with some attachment to her psyche. only the urge for fun and messiness.

except, when she finds herself planted next to a man that has every intention of taking her home, it's somehow lacking the usual fun. odd, really. maybe she's just in a mood. definitely wouldn't be the first time. she still laughs when she needs to, drinks more when he drinks, and presses a little closer when allowed.

"you know," she murmurs, words slightly blurring together. it's fine, she can still sort of see straight. "i never asked what brought you here, handsome." idle chat to see if she can get anything out of this. an angle being played over and over until it's like clockwork. the bell over the door chimes but she pays it no mind.

and maybe she should've turned to see who wandered in but she's absorbed in the warm body beside her and not in the man that's about to catch her red handed.

Finley Black