the room is nearly as bright as melody and she blinks a couple of times. she doesn't mind the time it takes for her eyes to readjust; the music is surprisingly pleasant and for a moment, she stays there, content to stand in the doorway and listen. 

when the meowscada interrupts her, she puts on a smile and gives a small, awkward wave. 

"that was lovely, what you were playing," she says as she steps down into the elite four member's chambers. she takes note of the minimalist scenery, the antiquated display of tea and pastries, and finds it oddly contrasted with the giant scoreboard and timer behind one of the waterfalls. 

"we really haven't had much time to chat in person, have we? feels like we've been seeing each other a lot, what with all the back and forth," she says casually as she takes a seat.

Melody Miro

☉

"i'd buy it," she says in an instant and shifts a bit in her seat. "my mother would have loved it. but i get it. i'm just one person." 

and besides, last she'd seen of her mother's record player, it had been banged up and tossed aside in the rest of the wreckage that had become her home. her smile slips, but she takes a sip of her tea to hide it. 

she wasn't sure if she needed to bring her badge case for this. she still isn't sure, to be honest, but she pulls it out of her pocket anyway and opens it, turning it around in her lap with one hand while the other grips her tea plate and cup. 

"i don't really remember much of it, to be honest. i started years ago and after the region was hit by its first attack, i stopped caring. but the battles themselves - i loved them. noah and cian and lam all reminded me of what i'd been missing."

Melody Miro

☉

"it was less of a want for personal gain and more part of the job, really." she sets the tea down and looks at her badge case, thumbing the silph badge. 

"dahlia offered me my seat back. i said i wanted to focus on making sure our people were prepared for war. for anything. and that means making sure our trainers are tested to the best of their abilities."

on paper, it's a flawless answer, and if it had been scratched in writing or typed in an email, melody wouldn't have seen the way she lingers over the words, the way she stares at the badges in hand as though questioning whether or not she deserves them.

"i started up again with fernando," she says and licks her lips. "i wanted to prove that i could do it. that even after all this time, i still had an edge."

Melody Miro

☉

she blinks owlishly. had she offended? no, no. melody is quick to tell her she's joking and she fiddles nervously with a braid. and she feels all the more silly for her nervousness too.

"i - " she starts and swallows. she hadn't been expecting this. superfluous questions about why and how she wants to be champion, yes, but this? her expression changes. the falsetto mask falls away as she stares down at her hands. 

hands that rested on FERNANDO SILPH's shoulders as they swayed and danced.

“nothing. that’s all i asked from you. all while i had to evade damaging that fragile ego of yours."

hands that reached out to ALEXANDER STONE . 


"i think you need someone kinder. someone who won't burn you. and i," she says, lifting a hand, hovering it over his heart, "burn everyone i touch."

hands that fumbled over paper coffee cups while her assistant yelled at her (Hyakkaryōran Tsubaki ).

"What are you doing, Freya!? You need to take care of yourself! People are depending on you!

and it would be so easy to crumble in on herself now. to look at all of these failings - all of the ways she's still failing - and tell herself it's not worth it. she's not worth it. but she grits her teeth and she looks back up at melody with a fiery resolve. 

she hears Isaac Merlo in her ear: "you've also tried for those people. that's more than this world usually gives them."

and ana fell , crashing into her life and telling her full stop that she sees her, and she sees what she's done, and it was always her best. 

Mei Liu with her arms folded over freya's legs, seafoam eyes bridled with all the rage in the world because she was so silly to be so self-pitying. that she is "good to me. you both just...don't know how to properly balance the giving and the taking."

"forgive me," she says and swallows. it takes her a moment, but she means it when she says it. when she says, "yes. i do.

"i haven't always done the right thing. who has? i've been selfish. i've been cowardly. i've been lost. and i - gods, i know what it feels to be there, melody. down at the bottom where all the light can't reach. there are others out there too." others like Caleb Harcourt . like KING WAYLAND . "and there are so many more who are here to help. to remind them that they're not alone. that none of us are going through this alone. i want to be that reminder for them."

she exhales. fists her fingers in her pants because, mortified, she realizes she's shaking. 

Melody Miro

☉

she is more like Melody Miro than she ever knew. 

swore to protect sootopolis in their moments of need.

i lost all the love just like that.

i ran.

someone who opened up their heart and experiences to the world only to be stabbed in the back.

having your mobility, your autonomy, stripped from you, changes a person.

everyone has a window when they're vulnerable.

and that is when you should care for them especially.

they're burned into her memory. all the rest of it is swathed in pink, but those fucking words have never left her. 

she ran and ran and ran. 

"i wasn't there either."

i asked fernando for help and he gave me what i wanted, but he never told me the cost. and it was my fault, melody, but that doesn't mean i don't hate him for it. yet still i saved him and i'll save him - again and again, i'll save him, because i have to. 

how does she say that without threat of treason? how could she tell her that she lost herself, that she was a shell of a person, gorging on his gifts when he deign to appease her hunger? that he let her lap like an animal from his fucking hand?

the world needs him.

i lost all the love just like that, in the snap of a finger i went from the most loved to the most hated.

and more terrifying than that, the world may not believe her.

"i ran too." her fingers tighten, knuckles white. "not a day goes by i don't regret that."

all that's been left unsaid is on her face. she is a portrait of self-loathing, golds a sunless sea of anger. contempt laces her teeth, the straining of her jaw. her tongue rolls over her gums, throat aching and swollen against the rising tide.

and beneath all that, a waxen visage of hopeful promise, unfettered by her callouses. her eyes smart. 

"let them stab me in the back," she says roughly. "they might not need me; but they might, and i will not abandon them again."

Melody Miro

☉

she's coughed up the bones and now she is aching from the effort, but melody picks through them now with a daintily gloved hand. this is the reprise and she expects the woman to recoil at the acrid toxin, but the bones are not blackened with rot. 

there are traces of her doubt in weathered gray lines, but she startles at the whiteness of their whole. there, amidst them, her ribcage, contorted to envelop the man she loves. she'd thought it shattered.

"i've thought about retirement," she says and she finally tugs her hands away from fabric. they're gentle now as she fiddles with the salamencite wrapped in one long broad. she smiles. "maybe one day, if i'm old and gray, but i find the idea absolutely repulsive."

she leans forward, elbows on her thighs, and stares, wide-eyed, at melody. "but if i win - after i win, melody, i'll take sootopolis back. and you and i, we'll rebuild. i promise you that."

Melody Miro

☉