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Are you strong enough to stand protecting both your heart and mine?

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POSTED ON Nov 8, 2020 9:37:42 GMT

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Of course it wasn't his choice. It hadn't been anyone's choice. They had been dealt an unfair hand and had been left to live with the damage it left behind. For them, it had been similar to life or death. And they had chosen themselves over anything good in their lives, anything or anyone that could have protected them.[break][break]

"I know.."[break][break]

She exhales, and there are silent tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. Exhaustion weighs heavily on her shoulders and she cannot stop them from falling.[break][break]

"You're a better person than I am, and it is the good people who suffer the worst."[break][break]

Emma would have sooner destroyed Lugia than take responsibility for its suffering and ultimately her own. She had been a prisoner too, and perhaps she still was. Maybe she was a hypocrite.[break][break]

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notes: ...

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Cillian Quinn

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punki

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played by

thorn

the Harbinger

he/him

october 28th

circhester, galar

demisexual

underboss

the harbinger

6'3" height

I want corruption, I think I'm the devil in disguise.

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8,667 posts

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part of

TAG WITH @gavin

POSTED ON Nov 8, 2020 9:48:23 GMT

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Her tears, more than anything else, manage to stem the flow of Gavin's anger. She is one of the strongest women he's ever met and to see her so emotionally affected by the tension in their relationship drives a knife through his heart. His breath shudders as he reins in his smoldering rage.[break][break]

"Am I?" This time, it's not a challenge. Doubt rings clear in his tone. "It's hardly a competition; better doesn't mean good. I'm not a good person. I'm not pretending to be."[break][break]

Rocket had got a hold of him young, impressionable, and they'd shaped him to their likeness. What little remained of his moral code would not hold up against a court of law. There was blood on his hands as much as Emma's. He knew that.[break][break]

"Lugia was good, once." He sighs, heavy. "Or so I've been told. I don't know what the Nihilego did to it, exactly, but..."[break][break]

But it's different than it was. Just like him.[break][break]

"Dominic would use it as a weapon. Eva, Circe, they'd want to study it. Marcel would sooner never look at it." He's not sure what Emma would do. He's almost afraid to ask. "But it's still a Pokemon, Em. Why should I condemn it for something it didn't choose?"[break][break]

There's unintentional subtext: Why was she condemning him for the same?

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Emma Wolfe

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played by

castaway

the wolf

she/her

thirty

october 30

lumiose city, kalos

bisexual demi-romantic

rocket beast

beast

549 height

Are you strong enough to stand protecting both your heart and mine?

awards

1,571 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @wolfe

POSTED ON Nov 8, 2020 18:30:02 GMT

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"Of course you are, Gavin, and the fact that you can't see it is truth enough in my fears. You're pretending to be a bad person. You're putting yourself on this pedestal of imperfection and self-deprecation. That isn't you."[break][break]

It's her. [break][break]

She drops her gaze in response to his final questioning. [break][break]

"Life isn't fair, Gavin. That false God-- it will get you killed one day."[break][break]

As she wipes away tears in frustration, she seems to pause as she looks at her hands. There is an uncomfortable silence as she considers her own words and the meaning behind them. At some point she had stopped talking about the Lugia -- and was more accurately talking about herself. She would get him killed one day.[break][break]

[break]

notes: ...

[attr=class,ooc-notes]

[attr=class,tagline]

Cillian Quinn

[attr=class,punkianger-emcredit]
punki

close tab

played by

thorn

the Harbinger

he/him

october 28th

circhester, galar

demisexual

underboss

the harbinger

6'3" height

I want corruption, I think I'm the devil in disguise.

awards

8,667 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @gavin

POSTED ON Nov 8, 2020 18:41:20 GMT

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Gavin's expression is pinched, pained. Did she truly believe that of him? The idea that Emma had fallen in love with an idealized vision of a man whose corruption did not cancel out his attempt at a moral code was a crushing weight. If he shattered that vision, would she leave?[break][break]

We can't live a lie.[break][break]

"It is me, Em. I joined Rocket willingly. I've stayed, willingly. I took the promotion even though I knew what it would mean, that I could never get out, because this is the life I've chosen. Good people don't choose Rocket."[break][break]

He had moral quandaries over Rocket's decisions, over the death and destruction they'd caused over the years, but he had stayed in spite of it all. Though she'd not quite hit the mark on the subject of his family, she'd cut closer than she likely realised; Rocket was his family, now.[break][break]

"I don't worship it as a God. I want to understand it better. All of them. There's weakness to the shadow condition as much as they're strong and I want to learn to counter those weaknesses, I — I'm a scientist, it's in my nature to try and understand these things."[break][break]

It's why, he thinks, Walsh had entrusted Lugia to him. He doesn't speak the words aloud, fearing they may be misconstrued.

[attr=class,ooc-notes]

[attr=class,tagline]

Emma Wolfe

[attr=class,punkianger-gvcredit]
punki

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played by

castaway

the wolf

she/her

thirty

october 30

lumiose city, kalos

bisexual demi-romantic

rocket beast

beast

549 height

Are you strong enough to stand protecting both your heart and mine?

awards

1,571 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @wolfe

POSTED ON Nov 9, 2020 1:05:40 GMT

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She did truly believe that of him-- and it was the truth. Of course, it was a truth that he couldn't see or didn't want to see, but it was the truth. Emma didn't fall in love with an idealized vision. She had fallen in love with the man beneath the scars and the torture and the torment. [break][break]

And there was virtually nothing he could do to push her away-- not really. [break][break]

But she shakes her head at his deflection and her eyes are sad as she watches him. [break][break]

"Good people do choose Rocket, you and I both know that; and good people do bad things when under the control of bad people. That Pokemon is dangerous, Gavin, more dangerous than we might think or believe."[break][break]

She's insinuating that Lugia, more so than Walsh, is the 'bad person'. Shadowfication is a complicated process and Rocket had only just scratched the surface of it with lab-tested Pokemon. Lugia was not created in a lab. It had been a result of bizarre creatures from space -- unidentifiable ones that they had put a name to. They had no idea what they were dealing with, and yet they walked on with false confidence.[break][break]

"Some things don't need answers, Gavin. Especially not if means risking your life. Power corrupts, the desire for knowledge is dangerous, Gav. I--"[break][break]

What more can she say that she hasn't already said? She had come at him with words to cut and tear, to drag him down with her -- and for what? Her cruelty would get her nowhere.[break][break]

[break]

notes: ...

[attr=class,ooc-notes]

[attr=class,tagline]

Cillian Quinn

[attr=class,punkianger-emcredit]
punki

close tab

played by

thorn

the Harbinger

he/him

october 28th

circhester, galar

demisexual

underboss

the harbinger

6'3" height

I want corruption, I think I'm the devil in disguise.

awards

8,667 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @gavin

POSTED ON Nov 10, 2020 10:25:34 GMT

marcel maeda likes this

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Gavin pushes his glasses out of the way to press the heels of his palms against his eyelids, drawing a deep breath. This is what he'd wanted — confrontation, discussion — and yet for once, he understands why marcel maeda always runs. It would be easier to pretend they were fine.[break][break]

Easier, but not better.[break][break]

"It's never tried to control me, if that's what you're worried about. It — Articuno spoke to me, Emma, but Lugia... I don't even know if it can."[break][break]

He remembers what Articuno had said to him, words he'd never shared with Emma for fear that they'd validate her concerns: Aggression does not sit well with me. Yet, I know of many others who will be entertained by such ferocity.[break][break]

Was Lugia entertained?

[attr=class,ooc-notes]

[attr=class,tagline]

Emma Wolfe

[attr=class,punkianger-gvcredit]
punki

close tab

played by

castaway

the wolf

she/her

thirty

october 30

lumiose city, kalos

bisexual demi-romantic

rocket beast

beast

549 height

Are you strong enough to stand protecting both your heart and mine?

awards

1,571 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @wolfe

POSTED ON Nov 15, 2020 0:23:40 GMT

[nospaces][googlefont=Open+Sans:400,700,700i|Oswald:300,600]

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Emma's attention flicks briefly over his expression, the way his palms pressed to his face, the exasperation in his tone. It makes her sick, watching the two of them crumble like this. There was a reason she didn't involve herself in matters of the heart -- it always ended up down this same road. Two dominant personalities clashing and disagreeing. [break][break]

And he speaks the same beliefs that everyone else had, empty truths that keep him going. They're real to him, but for her she's watching a car crash in slow motion.[break][break]

"Then you're naive. If you truly think that those legendary Pokemon, the ones that have already chosen avatars, aren't controlling their people? Gavin--"[break][break]

She doesn't finish her sentence because she can't bring herself to. She knows he isn't an idiot, despite the idiotic actions he has taken so far. [break][break]

"It will, one day."[break][break]

[break]

notes: ...

[attr=class,ooc-notes]

[attr=class,tagline]

Cillian Quinn

[attr=class,punkianger-emcredit]
punki

close tab

played by

thorn

the Harbinger

he/him

october 28th

circhester, galar

demisexual

underboss

the harbinger

6'3" height

I want corruption, I think I'm the devil in disguise.

awards

8,667 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @gavin

POSTED ON Nov 17, 2020 23:51:40 GMT

[nospaces][googlefont=Open+Sans:400,700,700i|Oswald:300,600]

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It's a testament to how much he cares for and respects Emma that he doesn't immediately close off when she calls him naïve. Still, he stiffens with the insult and his features contort with suppressed anger.[break][break]

"Don't treat me like a fool. I know they can be dangerous, but I also know my own will. I am sick of being a pawn. No legendary could seduce me with its power if I were to be treated like one. I seek partnership, not slavery."[break][break]

Even as he speaks the words, he worries they fall upon deaf ears. Her experiences have shaped her suspicions just as his own have fostered his ambitions.[break][break]

"I am not under its control."

[attr=class,ooc-notes]

[attr=class,tagline]

Emma Wolfe

[attr=class,punkianger-gvcredit]
punki

close tab

played by

castaway

the wolf

she/her

thirty

october 30

lumiose city, kalos

bisexual demi-romantic

rocket beast

beast

549 height

Are you strong enough to stand protecting both your heart and mine?

awards

1,571 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @wolfe

POSTED ON Nov 20, 2020 15:03:17 GMT

[nospaces][googlefont=Open+Sans:400,700,700i|Oswald:300,600]

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Despite the poisonous words that dripped from her barbed tongue, she did not truly mean to say she thought him a fool. The woman before him watches him with fear reflected in her golden eyes. They focus on his face, on the rage that bubbles beneath the surface, on the restraint that he holds onto, on the love she knows lies bare just past his frustration. [break][break]

"I-- I don't doubt your strength, Gavin. I am just afraid."[break][break]

Afraid of the resolve of their potential hidden enemy, of what cruel intent may lie behind the surface of the tainted Pokemon he now controlled. He sought partnership, but did Lugia?[break][break]

"I trust you, I need you to understand that-- but I don't trust them."[break][break]

[break]

notes: ...

[attr=class,ooc-notes]

[attr=class,tagline]

Cillian Quinn

[attr=class,punkianger-emcredit]
punki

close tab

played by

thorn

the Harbinger

he/him

october 28th

circhester, galar

demisexual

underboss

the harbinger

6'3" height

I want corruption, I think I'm the devil in disguise.

awards

8,667 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @gavin

POSTED ON Nov 20, 2020 15:22:55 GMT

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I trust you.[break][break]

It takes but these simple words to pierce through his anger. Trust was a rare commodity in his life and he treated each one who afforded it with quiet gratitude. He was not a good man, did not necessarily deserve that which was placed in him, but he would honor it as best he could.
[break][break]
His stiff shoulders drop with the weight of a sigh.[break][break]

"If you trust me," he says carefully, hoping it did not sound like some kind of ultimatum, "then trust that I will be careful. I'm not blind to the dangers of power. Lugia frightened me, at first. Sometimes it still does."[break][break]

It had never attacked him, but he had seen what it could do to others.

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Emma Wolfe

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punki

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played by

castaway

the wolf

she/her

thirty

october 30

lumiose city, kalos

bisexual demi-romantic

rocket beast

beast

549 height

Are you strong enough to stand protecting both your heart and mine?

awards

1,571 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @wolfe

POSTED ON Nov 20, 2020 15:43:29 GMT

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Those three words seem to break the tension, if only for a moment. They slip past her lips and he sighs, shoulders sinking. It is a pause in their heated conversation that she is thankful for, even despite the careful way he speaks, as if he's walking on eggshells. She swallows, noticeably cautious and unsure how, at first, to respond.[break][break]

But eventually she forces herself to relax and to take a breath. [break][break]

Emma steps closer to him as she admits defeat - not that it had ever truly occurred to her to fight. She hadn't wanted to lose him.[break][break]

"I don't want to lose you."[break][break]

Not to temptation, to power, or to her own selfish fears. She was in too deep, it seems. She would fight tooth and nail to protect him.[break][break]

[break]

notes: ...

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Cillian Quinn

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punki

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played by

thorn

the Harbinger

he/him

october 28th

circhester, galar

demisexual

underboss

the harbinger

6'3" height

I want corruption, I think I'm the devil in disguise.

awards

8,667 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @gavin

POSTED ON Nov 20, 2020 16:05:16 GMT

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His heart twists with her words; love was a different kind of pain than he was used to, worse than all the others for how it slipped past his defenses and cut deep.[break][break]

"I know." Instinct presses him to promise you won't, but he worries she'll take those words as empty. She's been hurt in the past. He's not sure how, and he doesn't know by whom, but he pieces it together in fragments from the things she's said. "But you haven't. I'm still here, I'm still — unfortunately sane." His laughter is strained. "Would be a lot easier in Rocket if I wasn't."[break][break]

She'd stepped closer, and Gavin eliminates the gap by pulling her into his arms. His grip is fierce, almost crushing, as if the pressure alone could assure her of his permanence.[break][break]

"You've lost someone before." It's not a question; she'd said as much. "What happened?"[break][break]

He pulls back just enough to meet her gaze, his brow furrowed. Though he does not state it, there is a gentleness to the question that implies she does not have to answer.

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Emma Wolfe

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punki

close tab

played by

castaway

the wolf

she/her

thirty

october 30

lumiose city, kalos

bisexual demi-romantic

rocket beast

beast

549 height

Are you strong enough to stand protecting both your heart and mine?

awards

1,571 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @wolfe

POSTED ON Nov 20, 2020 16:12:25 GMT

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There is a lump in her throat before he pulls her close, and it is effectively squashed as he crushes her against his chest. Time stands still for a moment as her heart thumps loudly against his. Slowly, the woman's arms raise to wrap around his waist, and she buries her face in the soft fabric of his shirt. Fingers curl and pull his shirt tight as they ball into fists, tightening her own hold.[break][break]

But he speaks and brings up a pain so unbelievably and surprisingly raw that she sucks in a breath. Gavin pulls away to look down at her, and his gaze is searching and honest as he waits. The pain in her chest makes it difficult at first to think, let alone to press a response past her lips. [break][break]

"I wasn't able to protect her. I lost her because I wasn't strong enough to save her, to bring her back, to convince her that she was making a mistake."[break][break]

[break]

notes: ...

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Cillian Quinn

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punki

close tab

played by

thorn

the Harbinger

he/him

october 28th

circhester, galar

demisexual

underboss

the harbinger

6'3" height

I want corruption, I think I'm the devil in disguise.

awards

8,667 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @gavin

POSTED ON Nov 20, 2020 16:49:05 GMT

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He sees the pain lance through her expression and almost regrets asking, but bites back the urge to rescind his question. If she wished, she could shut him down. He leaves it in her hands.
[break][break]

She answers, and for a moment he isn't sure how to put his thoughts into words that won't hurt her. The subject is a sore one and he's not sure how much time has passed; how much time she's had to heal. He licks his lips and chooses his words with care.
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"It's not on you, you know." His voice is soft. "In the end, the choice was hers. You're not to blame for what happened — no matter what it was. In pursuit of power, you need to be strong enough to protect yourself. There's nothing you could have done."
[break][break]
Though not explicitly stated, the words blanket him as well.

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Emma Wolfe

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punki

close tab

played by

castaway

the wolf

she/her

thirty

october 30

lumiose city, kalos

bisexual demi-romantic

rocket beast

beast

549 height

Are you strong enough to stand protecting both your heart and mine?

awards

1,571 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @wolfe