MARCH UPDATE

POSTED ON Nov 20, 2018 15:24:29 GMT

gilbert valeria likes this

friendship is a luxury that has never been gifted to nikolai: a man who was forced to be alone because the alternative puts the people close to him in danger. but circumstances change and this one in particular granted him that luxury of calling someone a friend.

finally, after years, he has that luxury again.

but as he has come to learn, the world isn't kind; it's cruel and unforgiving as it looks to rip away the very luxury that's just been gifted to him. he won't let it.

tears pour down from the heavens, setting the scene as people dressed in black gather around a particular spot. their heads hang low and their voices are soft and filled with remorse, sympathy, perhaps for someone who's just lost everything.

it's a feeling he knows all too well.

no umbrella covers him as he stands underneath the downpour, watching the ceremony pass by but his focus is never cast aside: the man, his friend, is always on his mind.

the funeral starts to conclude as people say their goodbyes. he does the same out of respect, and once everyone's gone and scattered, he approaches the man with care in his step.

"it was a nice service." his words look to get lost in the rain, drowned out by the somber setting. "i'm sorry, gilbert. i truly am." it's a different side of him that he rarely shows anyone, but for gilbert, he will because he needs it.

"no one should ever have to go through this, especially not you." he bites his tongue, refraining from overstepping his boundaries. "you don't deserve this. she doesn't deserve this."

he sighs.

"just know you're not alone."

gilbert valeria

close tab

played by

yuko

valeria

he/him

twenty-nine

councilman

council

20 height

You knew who I was with every step that I ran to you

awards

48 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @valeria

POSTED ON Nov 21, 2018 3:16:14 GMT

NIKOLAI PETROV likes this

he's heard the name rosalie hundreds of times today. he's seen her face even more times -- it is beautiful, but not hers anymore. made up for a paler complexion, one that lacks fresh blood. rosalie and her rosy cheeks, buried in the ground once and for all.

today, the world revolves around her. people circle the grave as the casket lowers into it, the planets in orbit to mourn the death of their precious sun. at some point on this day, all of the planets realize that they, too, will burn out eventually.

gilbert valeria feels like a moon closely orbiting the sun while everything almost orbits around him.

rain drizzles down on the shoulders of his suit, black tie aligned perfectly as his stares into the hole in the ground. it's all he can do; there is no laughing today, no smiling. this is not one of those funerals in which people celebrate a life.

it comes as the product of tragedy and shock. the rain merely frames the already somber mood. he just stares.

the ending of the service brings him a few inches closer to reality but by no means cures him of the haze that plagues him.

the rain does a good job of chasing most of the mourners off, and he wonders if it is rosalie sending him a well-deserved moment to mourn on his own. he's not sure how to take advantage of it.

it was a nice service.

his eyes raise in surprise that anybody remains in the weather. a fake, proud smile forces itself to the surface of his otherwise crushed visage. "it was beautiful. thank you, nikolai. and thank you for coming."

his feet shuffle uncomfortably, uprooting for the first time in an hour to squish the soaked grass beneath them again. he isn't sure what it means to deserve or not to deserve, at least not today. what is simply is.

a hand runs through the ivory locks that begin to stick to his head. "it is what it is, i guess. i'm glad i have you around." the smile this time is less forced, but it vanishes into the misty, rainy air almost instantly.

"i'm just fucking furious, you know?" the words pour out like they've broken through the floodgate after eagerly awaiting the opportunity. in the choice company of a close friend, he can stop painting roses and daisies.

NIKOLAI PETROV

close tab

played by

NOODLES

NIKOLAI

HE/HIM

TWENTY-FIVE

CYBER BOY

GYM LEADER

37 height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

241 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @nikolai

POSTED ON Nov 21, 2018 4:21:29 GMT

he remembers the silent doubt, the judgement that came from the council when he first met with them. their eyes were cold and they treated him with a similar temperature because it's more than difficult to trust a rocket beast; it's almost impossible. he might have renounced his ways, fled from his past but he cannot ever escape because rocket won't let him. the council knew as much.

for the longest time, he thought that was all he was ever going to be: a man plagued by his past, left to be deemed nothing more than rocket.

but in the midst of all the doubt is a bit of hope: hope that maybe he's more than that, that he can actually be good again. that's all he wanted and all he could ever want; dahlia goode gave him the chance to.

gilbert is no different. the man might not know of his past but nikolai has a strong feeling that it would not matter, not even know. but he's scared, he's been scared, and he fears it's a sceret he'll take to his grave because he cannot afford to lose someone close. not again.

there's no need to respond to gilbert with anything other than a nod and a smile. the situation is tense and calls for discomfort but he refuses to give it because that's not what either of them need right now: gilbert needs a friend, and so does nikolai.

"i know."

he wants to say more, wants to do more to help but his insecurities hold him back. he bites his tongue, controlling his impulses but not enough to stop words from slipping through.

"i was furious, too. but you have to know that it's not your fault." it's hypocritical coming from a man who blames himself on the daily, but he'll lie if it means helping another.

"if you ever think it is, tell me, and i'll punch it out of you." a joke looks to break through but he's not optimistic. he can't do much else but be there in the moment.

for his friend.

"booze helps."

gilbert valeria

close tab

played by

yuko

valeria

he/him

twenty-nine

councilman

council

20 height

You knew who I was with every step that I ran to you

awards

48 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @valeria

POSTED ON Nov 21, 2018 15:12:12 GMT

NIKOLAI PETROV likes this

the rage has been welling up and overflowing from within periodically since her death; it wells up again once he is given an opportunity to become vulnerable. to feel anything today would have been a mistake, and he knows that for all those people to see him truly mourn would have allowed them to lose control. he had no interest in making the affair any more dismal than it was destined to be.

nikolai diffuses him quickly; gilbert chuckles once before looking back to the heavily trodden grass beneath him. "you might need to beat the daylights out of me. but for now, hold off on the punches."

comfortable silence lingers between them for an instant, filled only by the sound of rain hitting the foliage that surrounds the mossdeep cemetery. the place emits a quiet tranquility from the tree branches, one he's noticed in the past during other funerals. it feels muted today -- everything feels muted.

"a drink...would be nice." his feet fidget again, perhaps willing him to leave the graveside.

"standing here long enough won't change anything." if he could will that to be true, it'd be true already. but rosalie is still dead and he's still soaking wet and alone.
NIKOLAI PETROV

close tab

played by

NOODLES

NIKOLAI

HE/HIM

TWENTY-FIVE

CYBER BOY

GYM LEADER

37 height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

241 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @nikolai

POSTED ON Nov 21, 2018 15:45:26 GMT

it's a feeling that never goes away: the loneliness; the feeling that something or someone's missing and no matter what he does, he'll never be able to find it: his missing puzzle piece that's forever lost in the infinite void where spirits traverse and roam free after death.

"it won't."

he wishes it could: a simple act like standing there long enough. with a solemn sigh, he reaches over to pat gilbert on the shoulder. the action serves another purpose as it looks to lead him away from the grave.

"come on. i know a place."

----

it's not his home, it's gilbert's, but he knows it well enough to find the best shitty bar in town. mossdeep is small enough that faces become familiar and bars start repeating themselves. for someone who drinks so often, they all sort of blend into one eventually.

he downs the first shot and expects gilbert to do the same.

chasing it with more liquor, he holds the glass in his hand and looks over to his friend. in times like these no words need to be exchanged. all they have to do is enjoy each other's presence, live in the moment, and relish it while it fleets.

he decides to remain quiet and to let gilbert have his moment; whether he chooses to drink in silence, or to start talking, is all up to him.

gilbert valeria

close tab

played by

yuko

valeria

he/him

twenty-nine

councilman

council

20 height

You knew who I was with every step that I ran to you

awards

48 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @valeria

POSTED ON Nov 24, 2018 0:46:35 GMT

when they break through the entrance to the rundown bar soaking wet, gilbert almost laughs. it comes to no surprise that nikolai brings him here. he himself has never been here, despite hearing about it. his tastes are more expensive than nikolai's, but the change of scenery is welcome.

the first shot goes down quickly and smoothly, and he orders them a second -- tequila, this time. more people that were at the funeral would likely be at gilbert's type of bar, anyway. they don't need to see him drink like this.

lime in one hand, salt along the thumb, he locks eyes with nikolai before a soft laugh erupts from his throat. "i haven't done a tequila shot in at least half a decade."

muscle memory kicks in and he throws it back with ease, ignoring whether or not nikolai takes it or leaves it in favor of his own drink. it's cheap tequila in a cheap bar, and he's a rich man with almost everything.

the tequila will work quickly, but not quickly enough to keep him from ordering another shot of it. he already feels numb to the sadness: two days of watching people cry does that to a man. he wants to be more numb.

NIKOLAI PETROV

close tab

played by

NOODLES

NIKOLAI

HE/HIM

TWENTY-FIVE

CYBER BOY

GYM LEADER

37 height

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park.

awards

241 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @nikolai

POSTED ON Nov 24, 2018 3:42:06 GMT

it's a familiar sight: a man devastated by immense loss, sat by a bar downing shots that he never would have otherwise. the parallels cannot be ignored. he will not let gilbert fall down the same rabbit hole as he did. as he still is in. the man deserves better because unlike nikolai, he's done nothing wrong. nothing.

"fuck, are you that old?" the thought worries him as he downs his share of the shot and slides the glass over to be refilled as well. he'll keep up with gilbert because that's what the man needs right now: a friend through thick and thin. nikolai can only hope to expect the same in return.

numbness begins to overcome them but not nearly quick enough. he keeps his eyes ahead, down, anywhere but his friend.

"i always appreciated how welcoming you guys were. she was kind, warmhearted; and she never judged. i never felt out of place, and that's something." their shots are refilled. he picks his one up before gilbert and raises it towards his friend. "to rosalie."

shot.

it stings and burns but not for long. the feeling's numbed out and finally he turns to face his friend. "what's your favorite memory of her?"

gilbert valeria

close tab

played by

yuko

valeria

he/him

twenty-nine

councilman

council

20 height

You knew who I was with every step that I ran to you

awards

48 posts

DOLLARS

part of

TAG WITH @valeria