Stormy's eyes widen in surprise at the confirmation. It shouldn't surprise her, really, but it does. He had been one of Alex's gym trainers, and a really good one at that.

It reminds her quite painfully of how long it's been, really, since she's last spoken to Cian. They had been fairly close once upon a time.

Familiarity sets in in the form of his smile, revealed behind the menu he sets down on the table. In some ways, it makes her nervous.

"Ana.. I hope she's doing well."

Stormy smiles slightly at the mention of Alex, but sadness reflects there too.

"I'm sure he would. You two were good friends."

She picks at the lifted edge of the menu to distract herself from the overwhelming grief that threatens to swallow her.

CIAN MAHER

☉

were they ever really friends? likely not as much as cian would've liked, but the thought of them being good friends makes him smile.

"you should come by sometime."

the sadness behind her smile is understood. it shows in some of his, too, at how he lost his mentor.

"so we can have a rematch. you got lucky in the tournament."

Stormy Silph

☉

They had, even if she had never given the impression they had been. Relationships had been something of a slippery slope for her, and unnecessarily difficult to maintain and keep.

"Really?"

Stormy seems surprised, genuinely, to hear him say that.

"Right, a rematch. Because you accused me of cheating."

She chuckles awkwardly, with a slight shake of her head as she drops her gaze back to the menu.

CIAN MAHER

☉

"didn't you?"

a brief moment of silence is broken by a chuckle.

"nah. i'm just a sore loser."

his gaze falls back to the menu as well, prompting the next few words to leave easier.

"or i'm just looking for an excuse to see you again."

Stormy Silph

☉

"No--" she answers sharply, indignant. But he is quiet and soon breaks into laughter. The heat in her face flares before receding, and she scowls as she looks away.

"The sorest."

She stubbornly stares at her menu, coming back again and again to something in the bottom corner. It might very well be the stain beneath the plastic. Or maybe it's what she wants to order. Whatever the case, she abruptly brings her attention back up to Cian to really look at him.

"U-uhh--"

CIAN MAHER

☉

again, his gaze rises to find hers.

"what? too straightforward?"

he shrugs, allowing his smirk to linger.

"i'm just saying what i feel, as i always have."

Stormy Silph

☉

His gaze is magnetic, drawing her back in even in spite of her stubborn awkwardness. She blinks, floored and confused by what it is he's saying. It's tragic, really, that there isn't any food on the table for her to dive into and completely embarrass herself with. She could chew furiously, and through mouthfuls of food question dumbly and ask him to repeat that and then go on and on and on about how delicious the food is.

"I don't.. know what to say."

He wanted to see her again? She could play stupid, decide that she didn't know what that meant. But she did. She just..

"I didn't think that you felt that way."

CIAN MAHER

☉

"really?"

he chuckles, leaning forward a bit.

"stormy, i've been hitting on you since we first met. shit's happened since then, a lot of shit, sure, but i still feel that way."

maybe even more so now that he doesn't feel guilt over flirting with his boss' partner.

Stormy Silph

☉

Stormy's face moves between expressions rapidly. There is shock, disbelief, realization. She wasn't sure what to say. It was like she was finally seeing what had been in front of her the entire time. His flirting had been brushed aside or misunderstood as joking. Her reminders for him to be mindful of her relationship with Alex had felt playful and not to be taken seriously.

How oblivious she was.

"I'm sorry."

But all of this brings back an overwhelming wave of grief and guilt. It makes her nauseous, it makes her scared. Sitting across from him scares her in some way that prompts her to lean back and sit back from the table. It squeaks, the chair feet dragging against the floor.

"I'm not-- I'm not ready, Cian. He broke my heart, and now he's gone, and I-- I can't do it again."

CIAN MAHER

☉

cian shakes his head.

"don't be sorry."

he mirrors her movement and leans back in his chair as well.

"i don't blame you. i wouldn't know how i'd be able to get over someone like alex either."

the fact that she might not be talking about alex never occurs to him.

Stormy Silph

☉

She is talking about Alex-- mostly. But men had come into her life after him as well and hadn't stayed. It was enough to make her believe something was wrong with her- that she was the problem and the reason people couldn't love her.

She loved so fiercely it scared people away.

"I wish I could. I wish that I didn't look for him in every person I meet. I wish I didn't see him standing with his hand holding my best friends. But I do, and it hurts, and I miss him so much."

Her voice shakes as memories of his funeral rise to the surface. Her lip quivers and she relives the immeasurable grief she had felt, crying, sobbing, screaming into Sénon Game's shoulder when it had truly hit her she'd never see Alex again.

"I'm sorry, Cian. You-- you don't deserve this. Maybe I should go."

Tears well in her eyes and she uses the back of her thumb to hastily whisk them away. The napkin she's folded into her lap slips and she catches it while trying to stand up.

But would he let her?

CIAN MAHER

☉