the indication that he was there was in hearing the door open. she had held her breath and counted the seconds to occupy her mind and stop it from being distracted.

but the second her name fell from his lips her heart stopped beating. a smile blossomed over her features and she stood up from the chair, smiled at him that warm and fond smile, before clasping her hands together in an effort to contain the joy that wanted to rush out of her like a flood.

she wasn't going to just bolt forward and hug him like she wanted to. maybe because he looked tired, maybe because she'd learned to ask for consent before touching people.

"mr. silph." felt silly to be so formal, but time leaves little room for familiarity. "surprise! merry christmas."

FERNANDO SILPH

as he comes closer she's rigid, still as the very mountains she loves. he closes the distance between them and wraps her up in a hug. a hug that she really, honestly, didn't expect.

but she should have. he expected her to reach out and hug him so he did it instead. he's a chameleon, she knows this. he acts as he is expected to act, she knows this as well. it's brilliant and it helps him get what he wants.

perhaps she doesn't care anymore, perhaps she loves that about him.

so she returns the hug almost as quickly as it's given and smiles into his shoulder, face buried by his frame. it's much larger than her, being she's barely five foot tall.

"i'd be flattered, but i know good and well i'm not the only person alive who's ever surprised you."

she releases him then, knowing that the physical contact isn't his favorite. she instead creates a distance of sorts, looking at the wine bottle and then back to him.

"... i didn't like, interrupt anything with anybody, did i? i just assumed you'd be alone, cause it's christmas."

. . .

panic.

"i-i mean! uh," oh dear, she's put her foot in her mouth. old habits die hard after all! "w-what i mean is, uh, um, that, i erm, i just, y'know, you're always working and there's no better day to get the upper hand on people than a day where barely anybody else works, right? exactly! yes! yep that is exactly what i uh, what i meant mmhm."

FERNANDO SILPH

"well, i concluded my tour of mt. coronet, for one."

it wasn't like she hadn't thought about sending him emails. she'd written him whole journals full of her adventures, and, truth be told, that's what the wrapped present on his desk was. her cowardice, written down, and for his eyes only.

"those are my findings, you can browse through and take from it what you want... my personal records of what i found, y'know. that kinda stuff."

with a shrug, she smiled, because that's just her default expression. his is nothing- a void, hers is sunshine.

"i took a tour of the ruins in celestic town while i was there, and i visited their three lakes. lake acuity, lake verity, and lake valor. i wasn't visited by anything special, mind you, but i found a few things. might be of importance to you."

that's half the truth, but she dare not unload all of herself at once.

FERNANDO SILPH

"that's... in your hands, mr. silph."

it was a bold statement for her. perhaps others often favored offering themselves to fernando on a whim. maybe he didn't expect it, maybe he did. she was already surprising him with being there so why not up her own anne, so to speak.

"while i was in sinnoh, sitting at the top of mt. coronet in the midst of the ruins thinking over my life, i got to thinking about something that's been ever constant. no matter how much i try and change it.... and..."

she moved over to him, closing that distance, and very softly and gently took his jaw in her hands. cold, as she imagined. she really loved it, because her hands could be just too warm sometimes.

"i came back to help you, fernando. that... is quite literally it, why i came back. because i've spent years trying to tell myself i deserve better and i've decided i don't want better. i want to help you."

she removed her hands from his jaw but kept close to him, a smile on her face. while her notions seem romantic, she'd do the same to a stranger if they looked hurt or in pain.

"i know very well this could lead to my death, or worse... and i know you might not believe me, but i'm ready for that. i'm prepared for that... whatever it takes to stay right here. with you."

while it wasn't the common three word confession of, 'i love you' she felt, for now, it was close enough.

FERNANDO SILPH

"i know it is, and this is what i'm choosing to do with it."

stubborn? absolutely. unmoving like a mountain, remember? she allows the intimacy, appreciates it. they're not arguing, they're talking. showing their sides of the conversation slowly. unfolding layers and years worth of emotion and strife.

"i have spent all this time away trying to will myself not to love you, and i'm tired of it. whether you love me or not doesn't matter. i know nothing will come from it more than your attention when i'm necessary for your job's progression."

she is not naive. she isn't even nervous. not crying, not emotional. this is her resolve, and she's presenting it to him with confidence.

"i'm not asking for your hand in marriage, fernando. i'm just letting you know that from this point forward, my loyalties lie with you. not with the league, not with rocket; just, you."

and not even an, 'if you'll have me' was given.

"so buckle up fernando, cause i'm stickin' around this time."

FERNANDO SILPH

although she was stubborn and unmoving, it was in waiting for his response that she found herself doubting whether or not he'd even let her work with him. be near him. be in his life at all.

but he relents, perhaps only because she hasn't given him another choice. but sometimes, she's learned, not having a choice is exactly what people need. and if it's said that she bullied her way into fernando's life well then she'll take it because it's not often that fernando gets 'bullied' into doing things he doesn't want.

which has her lying to herself and wondering if it really is what he wants. who knows, though? certainly not the girl who won't ask with a smile of sunshine.

"well, if it is complicated and you do wanna try and convince me, i'll hear your argument. but i doubt it'll change my mind."

the tone used shows just how powerless she feels about her feelings. she can't control them. years spent trying and feeling ... hollow?

being in the room with him was the first time in a while she really felt alive.

FERNANDO SILPH