sam's world keeps turning. things start to pass him by. and knox sleeps on, as though his body knows it's not going to get rest like this for a long, long time. but finally he blinks to wakefulness, bleary-eyed as he is. he rubs his tongue along the roof of his mouth and grimaces. 

and then he sighs into sam while the rest of his brain wakes up. more flashes of last night come back to him and he tenses, breath hitching. 

it's daylight, knox. no more hiding in the shadows. 

he reaches a hand up to cover sam's, splays and laces their fingers together. they're not as tangled as when they'd gone to sleep, but the duvet is hanging off the side of the bed. the lights are still on. 

their dirty, bloody clothes are still laying on the floor in the shower. 

knox looks up, finally, into sam's eyes. his expression softens. he offers a wan half-smile. one day at a time.

samuel carter

☉

he's still not sure what to do with the sam who's voicing his every thought. he's so taken aback by sam's droll that he doesn't have a response. he just stares at him. like did sam get bodysnatched on top of everything else? but no, that can't be it. because that's crazy. 

work to be done. right. sam has things to tend to. graveyard sexton orgies and all that. the joke doesn't leave knox's lips. because he's thinking of course one of them will go get the food. because knox is in exile. 

except - hey, dumb dumb, no you're not!

"or," he starts, props himself up on his elbow and looks up at sam, "i could go get it for us."

samuel carter

☉

sam's smile is killer. like, crazy killer and it makes knox remember why the hell he'd fallen for him in the first place. it used to be he had to work real damn hard to get that smile. and right now, looking at him, things don't seem so bad. 

he finds himself smiling too. dumb smiling. "yeah?" he slides off the bed, throws his arms up and stretches. his shoulder twinges, but not as bad as last night. it bothers him so little, in fact, that he uses that same arm to tug sam closer. 

now he is aware of how bare they are. 

his arms come around sam's neck, drawing him close. like this. it has to stay like this and we'll be okay. we keep running. we put this behind us. and it'll stay okay.

"oatmeal and coffee." he touches his nose to sam's, smiles wide. don't think about the clothes in the bathroom. ollie's blood on your hands. the grave in your backyard. "that all you want?"

samuel carter

☉

sam's enthusiasm still manages to surprise him sometimes. he wants to laugh at that night of the pool party - when he told sam they'd figure it out if he simply didn't share his feelings of physical attraction. funny, really, that the tables have turned here and now, because knox is usually the one begging for bad decisions. 

but something is in the way. he doesn't really understand it. and it makes him nervous, the way his body doesn't want to react like it normally does. 

but he kisses sam all the same and holds him tight, careful not to put too much pressure near his bad shoulder. 

"we wait and i'll just be all the more tantalizing later," he says with a grin. and then he kisses sam's cheek, his forehead. "promise me you won't push yourself today."

samuel carter

☉

oh, duh. he's not upset. he's not...anything, really, at the news. which is also odd. but he doesn't think about that. thinks oatmeal and coffee. sam motions to the bathroom and he thinks yeah, we should probably clean up that mess, but in a way one might think about cleaning up spilled milk. 

"okay, well, that sounds out of order. hospital first? or, better yet, i clean up. you go get stitched up. i get food. or i go to the hospital with you and get food while you're waiting." he purses his lips. 

"i clean up," he decides. "while you go. then you relax at home and i'll go get food."

samuel carter

☉

sam went to war for him. sam went through hell and back for him. sam did ---------- for him. what now? he blinks a couple times and then shakes his head, looking at sam with a raised brow. "if you fall asleep, i'll go do something. but only if you fall asleep." which is a next to zero chance. 

i'm afraid to go out there, sam. i'm afraid and i don't even know it. because what if i just go back to it all? do all the things that hurt you and hurt me and you don't let me come back.

"so you take eos and get yourself fixed up. and i'll clean. maybe i'll just order the food and have hypatia get it so it's here by the time you come back," he muses aloud. 

samuel carter

☉

he scrunches up his nose and ruffles his white locks. thinks of the scathing exchange from last night. the off-kilter, dissonant dance. he can't blame it on exhaustion now. but it's just him, yeah? because sam's saying everything on his mind now and it's not clicking. but that's okay. 

knox would rather it doesn't. 

"nah," he says. smiles. "if i didn't know any better, i'd say you're just trying to kick me out." his eyes tighten just a little. he hadn't really considered that. but maybe sam wants space. knox did fuck everything up again. 

hmm.

he cups sam's cheek in his palm, fingers curved around the back of his jaw. "go on. i really want you to get that bite looked at. i'll be here when you get back."

samuel carter

☉