[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

he looks bemused. "i don't think that will happen anytime soon. do you think yours will?"

[break][break] even though they agreed not to talk about work, they were talking about work. it was a normal consequence of their relationship, and the lives they led. it would've been foolish to expect anything else.

[break][break] where illeana reyes seems to grow smaller, shy with embarrassment, jayden only grows bolder. he looks at her, head tilted to the side.

[break][break] "what if he does?"

[attr="class","ooc"] illeana reyes [break]
bond bridge

☉

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]she grumbles quietly, shoving another bite of cake into her mouth to hide her displeasure.

"it could."

and maybe he'd find out indulging in love isn't so bad. she relates it to the feeling of being a kid on christmas, unwrapping a shiny new pokedoll toy each and every single day they're with you.

the boldness is met with an uncomfortable silence, as if she doesn't know how to explain herself in the face of it all.

and she seems to shrink in her chair, deflating beneath a what if scenario.

"it'd break my heart."

jayden cross

[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

'it'd break my heart.'

[break][break] ah.

[break][break] that, jayden could understand.

[break][break] "i know what that's like," he says. "that isn't pleasant."

[break][break] his own heart still stutters sometimes at the memory of it being splintered into a thousand pieces. what a lifetime ago that was.

[break][break] it seems like the obvious answer, yet something that must be said. his rotom zips across his phone's interior, electricity crackling across the table as it tries to communicate with any other electricity in it's vicinity. a baby pokemon cries in the distance, somewhere — someone's togepi that they've unfortunately brought into this otherwise quiet establishment.

[break][break] "what will you do, then?" he inquires. "give up?"

[break][break] it's ironic how bold illeana reyes is when it comes to palkia, and yet so meek when it comes to matters of the heart.

[attr="class","ooc"] illeana reyes [break]
bond bridge

☉

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]she blinks.

"you do?"

didn't he just say he hasn't really given much thought into crushes, though?

her mouth opens to speak and words quickly dissolves into lead on the tongue. somewhere in the restaurant, a baby togepi wails.

"i -- um, i don't know."

confessions are hard. rejection is even harder.

"i might."

because what's the point in pining over someone who doesn't want her? it'd be a sick kind of torture to indulge in.

jayden cross

[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

he pauses.

[break][break] "yeah," he says after a moment, albeit a little reluctantly. now that there isn't any more of the cake to distract him, he has no choice but to answer. "it was a while ago."

[break][break] instead, he sips his coffee as the conversation shifts back to her.

[break][break] "you won't. you're not the kind of person to give up easily, illie."

[attr="class","ooc"] illeana reyes [break]
bond bridge

☉

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]"what happened?"

it's too curious, she knows, but she can't shove down the incessant urge to know more.

she finishes the last bite of cake in an uncertain silence, as if she doesn't quite have any words to refute him.

and in a way, she can't. he's right to say she's not that kind of person... but matters of the heart are different than her work. trying to move on after rejection feels like the titanic trying to claw its way back to the surface after being destroyed by an iceberg. simply impossible.

"i would if it meant losing a friend."

changing the relationship from friends to lovers is risky, even for her. there's so many ways it can go wrong...

jayden cross

[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

it's not something he likes to talk about often, or at all. even to illeana, who he has known for years. but even with illeana, their relationship is fragmented at best. there is a whole section of his life she doesn't know about — or chooses to be blind over.

[break][break] "i loved him," he says. "but he didn't feel the same."

[break][break] because that was the objective truth of the matter, wasn't it? Chu-e Choi had been part of his thoughts for months. had been the thing that had kept him both awake and alive — the butterfly sensation whenever he thought about the late underboss, the reason for the consuming hate that he felt for MATIAS SILPH now, and a result of months of pining that have left him perfect and primed for declan walsh to send him to kanto, where his empty heart could be used for death and destruction.

[break][break] jayden is quiet for a long time. perhaps too long, as he turns his head to spend time looking at the window outside, where the cerulean-blue sky filtered out the static-buzz of his thoughts nearly perfect. two wingull flew into the sky before dramatically careening together, squawking loudly, at which point jayden looked back to the head scientist.

[break][break] "so you would give up, then. you wouldn't fight for him?"

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] illeana reyes [break]
bond bridge

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[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]a soft noise of understanding bubbles up and out of the throat.

and in a quiet sort of way, she echoes the sentiment he relinquishes control of.

"i... know how that feels. i'm sorry."

truly, she is. it's an ugly beast to conquer, that unrequited feeling. she's felt it once and it had felt wrong, decayed. sometimes, in the spaces between, she can still feel it in its persistence, too stubborn to die beneath the heel of a boot.

her eyes don't follow his. they stay rooted in the tablecloth, tracing invisible patterns over and over until the sensation threatens to make them bleed.

and when he speaks, her eyes snap up as if beaten out of a trance.

"i would like to fight for him but..."

a sigh heaves its way out, breathing its final moments of existence before it perishes. her stomach does twists, as if its figure skating the same horrid pattern.

"i don't want to force him to love me back."

jayden cross

[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

"you do?"

[break][break] now that they were on the topic of conversation, he might as well throw the question back at her. not that he was particularly interested, but any information that he could garner up about the league's head scientist would be useful in one way or another.

[break][break] "your... person," he says, mouth forming awkwardly around the word because she had not given him any more details. "he's not your first?"

[break][break] before he can ask more, jayden blinks.

[break][break] and then he lets out a laugh, a surprised chuckle that even he isn't expecting.

[break][break] "what makes you think you can force him?" his lips curve into a ghost of a smile. "i doubt that's a thing you can force."

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] illeana reyes [break]
bond bridge

☉

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]she flushes pink with embarrassment.

the number of men she's loved (and lost) is not by any means a big number but... it still sounds unexpected, perhaps, for her. at least, to jayden, it does.

"no, he's not. well, not necessarily, i suppose."

he had, in fact, been her first crush during childhood when they would play outside surrounded by falling snowflakes. as she grew up, however, he had been erased from her memory only to resurface later.

"i've loved four, maybe five, men in my life."

and that's all she has to say on the subject.

a shrug rolls its way through her shoulders and she heaves out a little sigh.

"i don't know. i -- just, ugh."

she looks worn out just from thinking about it.

"you really think i should just... say it?"

jayden cross

[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

five?

[break][break] he can barely imagine falling in love with one person, let alone several.

[break][break] (a memory of teal-colored eyes and a teasing smile cut the edges of his thoughts, threatening to step into the threshold of his heart.)

[break][break] "did they all break your heart?"

[break][break] his head tilts as he regards her. absently, his fingers play with the edge of a napkin as he waits for the answer. he reaches over for his ice coffee - which is nearly empty by now - and sips it.

[break][break] "what's the alternative?" a pause, and his face twists into something foreign. dark. "you finding out that someone else has said it first?"

[attr="class","ooc"] illeana reyes [break]
bond bridge

☉

[attr="class","illeana"]

[attr="class","illeana b"]

[attr="class","illeana i"]did they all break her heart?

she's quiet for a moment, as if pulling dusty old memories out of boxes in the corners of her mind. and in a way, she is. the retelling is more painful than she'd like to admit and she feels the urge to snuff out all good for a moment, like the grinch who stole christmas. her heart feels small, broken.

"yes."

her eyes snap up to find jayden's.

"they all did in their own ways."

one or two unrequited, one taken from her too soon, and one full of betrayal. this one has yet to break her heart but she's scared to admit he just might follow the pattern.

her head tilts with confusion and she blinks until the question settles further into the brain.

"that someone else has expressed their love to him?"

she... doesn't want to consider that possibility. and yet, now that it's been presented, she can't unsee it.

"i don't want that to happen."

jayden cross

[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

"that's unfortunate."

[break][break] his lips pull together in a frown as he regards illeana reyes, his heart tugging the same way that it did when mint frost had showed him the the polar express.

[break][break] the answer seems obvious to him, and he is confident that it must be obvious to her now that he's presented the evidence to her. he places the cup back on the table, empty now with the exception of a few ice cubes at the bottom.

[break][break] "then, it sounds like you know what you should do."

[attr="class","ooc"] illeana reyes [break]
bond bridge

☉