you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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Ven

Alex / Lexy
he / him / his
thirty
december 22
Mistralton, Unova
homosexual demiromantic
sanctuary owner
civilian
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Alexei Ivanov
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 4, 2022 12:51:45 GMT
Alexei Ivanov Avatar


He noticed how his boyfriend had suddenly clung onto his hands, and he returned the pressure as he squeezed the other man’s palms lightly—a sign that he was here.

“H-hey,” he continued.

“It… it’s alright if-if you don’t want to talk about it…”

What he didn’t know, was that Gabriel the Salamence had also gotten nuked out in the same instant as the pastel unicorn had.

Was there… was there a reason why his Salamence was always unhappy whenever he saw Memo around? He’d… he’d have to figure that shit out later.



timeline: close to present day. Happens several weeks after by the dawn & fly me over yesterday; definitely after Frog’s birthday so yes they’re already boyfriends by this time


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Ceej

Memo
He/him
28
August 26
Spikemuth, Galar Region
Homosexual
Ranger Captain
Elite Ranger
it gets lonely in this gangster's paradise
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1,207 posts
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Guillermo Marceliño
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 4, 2022 22:36:01 GMT
Guillermo Marceliño Avatar
[attr="class","min"]
He doesn’t want to talk about it. The fact that Alex doesn’t remember makes everything a thousand times worse: not only does Memo have to relive the situation, but he has to verbally explain it, too.

It’s bad enough it lives in his head. Speaking it makes it even more real.

He doesn’t say anything. He’s nauseous and squeezing his eyes shut so tight they hurt.

[attr="class","mintag"]


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Ven

Alex / Lexy
he / him / his
thirty
december 22
Mistralton, Unova
homosexual demiromantic
sanctuary owner
civilian
дождь крови
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5,130 posts
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Alexei Ivanov
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 5, 2022 16:15:22 GMT
Alexei Ivanov Avatar


Much as he wants to press the issue, he realized that the other was spiraling away from him—there it was, the very distinct tell that the other didn’t want to talk about it.

“Hey, hey, Memo,” he breathed quietly as he squeezed their palms together, “I’m here. Focus on the sound of my voice for me, can you do that?”

He didn’t want to lose the other, especially not now—when there were so many things going on all at once.

“Sorry if I brought up some bad juju again.”



timeline: close to present day. Happens several weeks after by the dawn & fly me over yesterday; definitely after Frog’s birthday so yes they’re already boyfriends by this time


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Ceej

Memo
He/him
28
August 26
Spikemuth, Galar Region
Homosexual
Ranger Captain
Elite Ranger
it gets lonely in this gangster's paradise
awards
1,207 posts
part of
TAG WITH @memo
Guillermo Marceliño
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 6, 2022 22:16:59 GMT
Guillermo Marceliño Avatar
[attr="class","min"]
He can’t focus. He tries to live there, in that space; in the feeling of Alex’s palms, in his voice. In the bedroom. Safe. Warm.

Undeserving. Unwarranted.

He falls in the spaces between.

He’d tried to make it better. He’d tried to sacrifice himself so other people got a chance to live. But it hadn’t been out of the goodness of his heart. He did it because--

He didn’t realize he was speaking out loud.

“--I was tired and everything good had been stripped away from me and I was so tired, I didn’t want to be alive any more but I tried-- I tried to go too but Kaida wouldn’t let me and her stupid snake bit my arm!”

He’s fully crying, now, messy toddler tears of too much emotion and nowhere to go with it.


[attr="class","mintag"]


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Ven

Alex / Lexy
he / him / his
thirty
december 22
Mistralton, Unova
homosexual demiromantic
sanctuary owner
civilian
дождь крови
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5,130 posts
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Alexei Ivanov
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 7, 2022 17:50:30 GMT
Alexei Ivanov Avatar


“Oh, Frog…”

The earliest he could remember after that noticeable gap in his memories was going into the light…

“Maybe she had a reason for stopping you,” he went on quietly, wrapping his arms around the now-crying man, hoping that his physical presence would ground the other from spiraling back into the darkness, back into the negativity that he was fighting so hard against.

He couldn’t say anything else; all he could do was to hug his boyfriend, allow him to cry his emotions out and hold him close.

Because it was all he could do at that point in time.



timeline: close to present day. Happens several weeks after by the dawn & fly me over yesterday; definitely after Frog’s birthday so yes they’re already boyfriends by this time


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Ceej

Memo
He/him
28
August 26
Spikemuth, Galar Region
Homosexual
Ranger Captain
Elite Ranger
it gets lonely in this gangster's paradise
awards
1,207 posts
part of
TAG WITH @memo
Guillermo Marceliño
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 9, 2022 21:01:51 GMT
Guillermo Marceliño Avatar
[attr="class","min"]
Alex holds him close and he can do little more than sob into the crook of his neck, into his shoulder.

“Sh-she should have just let me die. I wanted to go with you..”

And maybe if he’d been there Alex wouldn’t have gotten so hurt. Maybe Memo could’ve started the atonement process early. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

[attr="class","mintag"]


[newclass=.min] width:500px;text-align:justify;font-family:roboto;font-size:12px;letter-spacing:.8px;margin:0 auto; [/newclass] [newclass=.minpkmn] margin-top:-30px;padding-bottom:10px;text-align:center; [/newclass] [newclass=.minpkmn img] float:none;margin:0;box-shadow:none;border:none;margin-top:-10px; [/newclass] [newclass=.mintag] margin-bottom: -20px; padding-top: 10px; text-align: center; [/newclass]
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Ven

Alex / Lexy
he / him / his
thirty
december 22
Mistralton, Unova
homosexual demiromantic
sanctuary owner
civilian
дождь крови
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Alexei Ivanov
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 10, 2022 12:10:33 GMT
Alexei Ivanov Avatar


Once he mentioned that he wanted to go with him, it was like—

A momentary flash of pain crossed his face.

“Ow, fffffuck,” he hissed as something in the back of his head throbbed. “I—I think,” he attempted to steel himself, to bring himself into the present, “…I think I remember s-something.”

While it was borderline terrible, the something he was thinking about, it was at least…

“Was…was that when I first s-said… wh-when I first said…” he trailed off, a look of horror crossing his features as the realization struck him.



timeline: close to present day. Happens several weeks after by the dawn & fly me over yesterday; definitely after Frog’s birthday so yes they’re already boyfriends by this time


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Ceej

Memo
He/him
28
August 26
Spikemuth, Galar Region
Homosexual
Ranger Captain
Elite Ranger
it gets lonely in this gangster's paradise
awards
1,207 posts
part of
TAG WITH @memo
Guillermo Marceliño
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 10, 2022 17:38:18 GMT
Guillermo Marceliño Avatar
[attr="class","min"]
He doesn’t know what Alex is talking about, not out of ignorance but out of the sheer plethora of horrible things which had occurred. It could be any instance, any point on the timeline, and it would’ve been something horrible.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps, wrapping his arms around Alex like he could hold him there forever, terrified he was going to leave, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

[attr="class","mintag"]


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Ven

Alex / Lexy
he / him / his
thirty
december 22
Mistralton, Unova
homosexual demiromantic
sanctuary owner
civilian
дождь крови
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5,130 posts
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Alexei Ivanov
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 15, 2022 15:57:07 GMT
Alexei Ivanov Avatar


“…when I first said that ‘I love you’.”

He can tell the other is holding him close, close, so abnormally close he can feel the fear and terror radiating off his boyfriend in thick waves. If ever he had the power to pick up auras? He would be in for a bad time indeed.

“Frog, Frog, Frog…” he whispered quietly in return, his own arms wrapping around the other man as he held him close, rocking the other gently—the better to stop the other from spiraling into the panic and grief that he could tell the other was already floundering in.

“You’ll be safe here. With me.”



timeline: close to present day. Happens several weeks after by the dawn & fly me over yesterday; definitely after Frog’s birthday so yes they’re already boyfriends by this time


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Ceej

Memo
He/him
28
August 26
Spikemuth, Galar Region
Homosexual
Ranger Captain
Elite Ranger
it gets lonely in this gangster's paradise
awards
1,207 posts
part of
TAG WITH @memo
Guillermo Marceliño
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 15, 2022 21:10:51 GMT
Guillermo Marceliño Avatar
[attr="class","min"]
It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. Alex could’ve personally pushed him into the death-beam reset-light and Memo would still love him.

“I said and did the most horrible things to you. I’m so sorry.”

He wanted to say he hadn't meant it, but he had. In that terrible world where he was stripped from his most basic self. All the hatred and negativity he’d been spewing had been personal and real.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

He clings and rocks and cries. He can't be safe unless he forgives himself, and he doesn't and he never will.

[attr="class","mintag"]


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Ven

Alex / Lexy
he / him / his
thirty
december 22
Mistralton, Unova
homosexual demiromantic
sanctuary owner
civilian
дождь крови
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5,130 posts
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TAG WITH @alexei
Alexei Ivanov
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 16, 2022 12:12:31 GMT
Alexei Ivanov Avatar


“I can’t remember anything after the train, remember?” he chided his boyfriend quietly. “So… I wouldn’t have the slightest what it is you did, that caused you all this pain. You… you don’t have to beat yourself up constantly over it.”

However…

Silence fell between them for a few moments.

“But… I remember everything that happened after I went into the light…”



timeline: close to present day. Happens several weeks after by the dawn & fly me over yesterday; definitely after Frog’s birthday so yes they’re already boyfriends by this time


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Ceej

Memo
He/him
28
August 26
Spikemuth, Galar Region
Homosexual
Ranger Captain
Elite Ranger
it gets lonely in this gangster's paradise
awards
1,207 posts
part of
TAG WITH @memo
Guillermo Marceliño
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 16, 2022 23:52:23 GMT
Guillermo Marceliño Avatar
[attr="class","min"]
“Th-that makes it worse,” he says, a mixture of a sob and an exhale, pulling back enough to see Alex’s face, to show his own, redenned and wet and tear-stained. “That makes it worse because I can’t just-- you can’t properly be mad at me and I can’t-- I can’t just pretend it didn’t happen!”

Didn't Alex see? He had to beat himself up about it. Because no one else would, except maybe , but she wasn't here, was she? Not acknowledging it... felt like taking advantage, like one would of the blind or the deaf. It felt like abandonment. But it also hurt too much to put into words.

“I-- I don’t--,”

He sniffs, miserable.

I don’t know if I want to know is what he wants to say, but what comes out is, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to tell me. What happened. If it’s too much.”

Like this had been.

[attr="class","mintag"]


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Ven

Alex / Lexy
he / him / his
thirty
december 22
Mistralton, Unova
homosexual demiromantic
sanctuary owner
civilian
дождь крови
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5,130 posts
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Alexei Ivanov
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 17, 2022 15:22:37 GMT
Alexei Ivanov Avatar


“It already happened, love,” he went on quietly, looking right at him in the eyes.

“It already happened, and what else can we do about it? Dwell on it forever?” he continued, deepening his stare into the other’s face, his features.

He was trying to will his boyfriend to stop crying, to stop spiraling even deeper into the depression that was rearing its ugly head…

“If I told you what…happened in the light, after I was taken away… would… would it make you… feel better not knowing, or worse knowing it really took place?”



timeline: close to present day. Happens several weeks after by the dawn & fly me over yesterday; definitely after Frog’s birthday so yes they’re already boyfriends by this time


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Ceej

Memo
He/him
28
August 26
Spikemuth, Galar Region
Homosexual
Ranger Captain
Elite Ranger
it gets lonely in this gangster's paradise
awards
1,207 posts
part of
TAG WITH @memo
Guillermo Marceliño
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 17, 2022 18:00:08 GMT
Guillermo Marceliño Avatar
[attr="class","min"]
His petulance wants him to say yes, point blank-- yes, he will dwell on it forever. Yes, this latent feeling of misery is just what he deserves. But he bites back the knee-jerk response and quiets, slightly, under Alex’s stern gaze.

“I… don’t know what to do,” he admits, and its the truth, “I feel like… if I just move on I’m… doing you a disservice. I’m taking advantage of the gaps in your memory. I feel like I owe it to you to remember.”

That was the crux of the issue. If Alex could just properly get mad at him, yell at him, scold him, then forgive him, it would burn away like a cleansing fire. But he couldn’t. So Memo had to carry it like his own cross, his own penance.

Something hardens in his own eyes.

“I… should have been with you. I should have made sure-- you were blind, you were… I should have protected you better. So, yes. Tell me. Tell me what I failed to keep you safe from.”

[attr="class","mintag"]


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Ven

Alex / Lexy
he / him / his
thirty
december 22
Mistralton, Unova
homosexual demiromantic
sanctuary owner
civilian
дождь крови
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5,130 posts
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TAG WITH @alexei
Alexei Ivanov
you’ll [be] safe here [s][c]
POSTED ON Dec 25, 2022 19:14:39 GMT
Alexei Ivanov Avatar


How the other’s answer put him in a quandary, yet again.

“To be honest, I’m hesitant… on telling you why, because… because the way it happened, you’d think I was losing my mind. But… but then again, this happened in ‘another’ world, where the impossible became possible, so…”

Taking a deep breath and swallowing the immense trepidation that was building up inside of him, he released a minute sigh.

“I told you about… about how I met my own doppelganger in the whiteness, right? After… after we were taken.”

He figured it was best to ease their way into the topic rather than dropping everything on the other man all at once—who knew if he would spiral even worse if he told him everything in one go.



timeline: close to present day. Happens several weeks after by the dawn & fly me over yesterday; definitely after Frog’s birthday so yes they’re already boyfriends by this time


img
The Shula Region
Hogwarts AU
RPG Unlimited
MR
The Enroi Region
N:FB
Vyrehaven
Celestial Guardians, AU Sailor Moon RP
EO GENESIS
Code and Crown: An advanced literate warriors cats RP, set in medieval times
Swords Clashing