and it's so, so easy to lose herself in this. to bundle herself up in nostalgia and call it comfort, to think it home. just thinking about the pizza makes her mouth water. maybe it's not as good as she's remembering - after all, she hasn't had the stuff since she was seventeen. maybe it'll be like their coffee shop date all over again.

guilt curdles in her stomach. lance had been so apologetic over having to cancel. and she's sure she'll find flowers on her doorstep within the next couple of days. purple hyacinths, more than likely, wrapped in a silk bow. 

she stands suddenly and then shifts her weight. "actually, bo... i think i should go."

boruta maher

☉

and with that, the glow died down, and the reality check hit him. it hurt, it gave him whiplash, but it did not take away from the fact that what had happened was a gift. and this moment, specifically? probably for the best.

but damn if he hadn’t been too excited for all of like five seconds.

doing his best not to deflate visibly, bo nodded, ”okay. yeah, do whatever you need to do.” guilty gold eyes stared up at her as she stood there, hoping she wouldn't just rethink the whole thing. ”i'm sorry.”

for all of it, one last time before she took off out the door.

willow atkins

☉

damn it. damn it. as much as he tries to hide it, he can't. she's staring straight at him and even though there are empty years between them, he's as familiar as the day he left. her heart gives a painful squeeze and she bites her lip and then he apologizes. 

"it's not you. it's not that," she says softly. and then, mustering some ounce of courage, she adds, "he's a good man and i want to do this right. i just - we can't. i want to, but we can't." at some small ounce of a confession, she looks away.

she's always been able to trust herself - to trust her decisions. every step she's made has been one of conviction - it had to be. but this? more words sit in the back of her throat, bubble onto her tongue, but she can't say it all.

"stay safe, okay?"

boruta maher

☉

the transparency was paralyzing. she cut straight to it, no dancing around any obvious implications. it’s not you. yes it is, his mind echoed back. but she had another reason, and that one sucked too.

he nodded again, forcing something like a parting smile of reassurance that he would indeed stay safe, as he had been—save for getting jumped in that alleyway. she didn’t need to know about that.

”i will. thanks.”

standing, finally, he lingered to follow her towards the door, to say goodbye.

willow atkins

☉