The uneven canter in their own heart matches Jayden’s, but every reaction they draw from the normally stoic man is thrilling. Emboldening. The look in his eyes as they meet them makes breath snag in their throat, and they decide they’re very much in over their head, but content to be dragged down far below the surface.[break][break]

“But that’ll spoil the surprise,” Fern quips back, but it is only a bluff.[break][break]

As the other’s head tilts to the side, Fern obliges and drifts downward to feather kisses along the slope of his neck. Nipping at the curve into his collarbone. Slow and methodical as they wait for an answer to the question they’d asked.[break][break]

And when the uncertain answer comes, Fern doesn’t lift away to look at him just yet. Rather, they begin an ascent back up– the press of their mouth interspersed between their words which buzz against vulnerable skin. “Well then, Jaybird. Fly home to me after all this, and there’ll be time in spades to figure it out.”[break][break]

The question is turned back on them (very politely so,) just as they reach the curve of his jaw. Fern leans to face him again, and the first thing that slips out is a cheeky little, “Yours.” They are quick to dissolve into soft laughter, “Sorry, that was a bit corny. Even for me.”[break][break]

Their hands lift to cup his face, though, and when they smile down at him, it is something almost painfully tender. “Anything you’d like to call me is just fine.” Pressing closer, they continue to watch Jayden through droopy-lidded eyes before letting the gap shrink to nothing again.
[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] jayden cross | ....what kinda honey u lookin for, jay >:3[break]

“Well, yeah. They’re exciting,” Fern answers with the slightest huff in their tone. But when Jayden smiles at them, their mind sort of short circuits. It’s a bit like being hazy drunk, without out having had a single drop to drink.[break][break]

The fact that they can coax this from him, though, feels like a short lived victory. He is relaxed as Fern litters his neck with affection, but when they speak, they don’t need to hear the breath he lets out to know they’ve done something wrong. The sound is just as any reactive gasp might be, but they can feel the way he tenses under their hands, no matter how careful their touch might be.[break][break]

It’s enough to make Fern pause— wonder what they did to cause what definitely felt like an edge of discomfort. The question lingers in the back of their head with nagging insistence. The desire to ask who did this to you?[break][break]

“J—“ their question is swallowed when he doesn’t give them time to ask. He catches their mouth in a kiss that is whirlwind dizzying, and it is almost enough to make them forget their worries entirely. It does for a moment as their mouth opens to allow that access, and an eager hum vibrating from the back of their throat is muffled between them.[break][break]

“Okay..” Their chest rises and falls rapidly, and the burn in the violet of his eyes as he speaks is enough to make something in their stomach drop with anticipation.[break][break]

At first, all they can do is nod quickly—friction where their foreheads are still pressed together. And then their hand follows his guidance to begin working the buttons of his shirt free. “Yeah, yes. I’d like that,” they say, breathlessly so, “just—“[break][break]

They pause on the buttons, and their hand slips under the opening to press against his chest, just above where they can feel his heart thumping. “just wait, first. Did I say something wrong?”[break][break]

Maybe jayden cross is trying to forget, but they can’t shake that tension from their mind.[break][break]

Jayden’s breath is warm and fans across their face as they hold his gaze just as steadily. Their thumb slides back and forth rhythmically against hot skin. “You asked me before, so I’m doing the same.
Do you trust me?”

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] jayden cross | ....what kinda honey u lookin for, jay >:3[break]

Fern isn’t exactly trying to be nosy in their insistence. Of course, they can be plenty nosy in many and most situations, but in this…it’s different. They want to be different in his mind. Something that runs contrary to what he knows or believes in this arena.[break][break]

It’s a sort of care they feel in an achy way. To be the recurring source of a pain point is the furthest of what they want wherever jayden cross is concerned.[break][break]

Their brows furrow like they don’t fully understand why he’s asking for that reasoning. In Fern’s mind, it makes perfect sense. “Well, because it matters to me,” they say simply. [[break][break]

Why wouldn’t it?[break][break]

Their head tilts as they try to seek out the right words. “I care about what you think, and that you’re comfortable…around me, obviously.”[break][break]

Touching on the fact that they could sort of sense his unease is sketching they don’t remark upon. Not just yet. A part of Fern wonders if he might say as much, or if he’ll hold his cards close to his chest.[break][break]

It won’t change their mind, either way. As made clear by the return of their hands to the buttons of his shirt, and the careful press of a kiss against his forehead. Then another to the curve of his jaw before they nestle face there. Maybe almost a bit nervously. “I don’t want this to turn into a later regret.”


[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] jayden cross | ....what kinda honey u lookin for, jay >:3[break]

It’s not exactly that they feel awfully self-conscious. Fern has always been confident to ridiculous levels. But he is just as unsure of how to handle letting someone close in the way he has allowed it of jayden cross. Even if how they handle this looks different when compared side by side.[break][break]

He likely seems like the sort of person to give this sort of affection and care freely, but he doesn’t. Not in an attached manner, anyway. But somewhere along the line, the admin has wiggled himself into Fern’s affections. In an alarmingly real way, and with startling ease. Without even realizing it.[break][break]

So Fern, for all of his grandiosity and falsity, cannot help the earnest transparency that occurs around the other. Even if he’d like to keep that arm’s length out of self-preservation, he doesn’t. All they want is to ease whatever it is inside of Jayden that makes him tense. If Fern can be a haven to him, then it will have been worth it.[break][break]

How crazy was that?[break][break]

Hands guide their face back so that they can’t hide away from him. Their own hands lift to settle over his, and their smile returns. “Okay, okay. Yes, good. I just wanted to say so.” Heat burns in their skin under his touch, against his palms, and Fern leans against the press of their foreheads. A breathless laugh falls in the minimal space between them.[break][break]

Slowly, Fern guides his hands down toward the hem of their sweater–a silent invitation to either slip his hands up under, or to just pull it up over their head entirely. “It’s okay,” they murmur, shaking their head slightly. “It’s alright, I’ll still try to understand.”[break][break]

To be told that they are set apart, that they matter to him makes their stomach erupt in a chaotic flutter. The hunger they’d temporarily subdued roars to life again and their grin turns just a little bit wily as they press closer with the slightest roll of their hips. "Are you going to prove it, then?" An amused snicker follows.[break][break]

Fern snags his lips in another kiss, and then another. And another. "I'm terribly fond of you too, if that wasn't obvious."


[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] jayden cross | ....what kinda honey u lookin for, jay >:3[break]

There is nowhere else Fern would prefer to be. They nod, head tilting to the side as they’re bestowed with the ghosts of little kisses, soft and downy-light. “Of course.”[break][break]

Pleasured sound hums in the back of their throat, echoing the other. It’s the only answer they’re able to supply, as if they’ve lost the ability to actually form syllables and words. Fern is too distracted by roaming hands and heavy touch to do so. He bends to the hand on his jaw, the one sliding over his torso to draw shivers under deft fingertips.[break][break]

All they can really do is keep up–arching under the contact given until the sudden flip leaves Fern with a sudden thrill. Staring up at jayden cross with wide eyes and a breathless grin, they feel something similar to that rush that day in the other’s laundry room. The prey animal sense of being snared in place, flighty heartbeat. This time, though, they welcome what comes next.[break][break]

It is not until later, when they’re coming down from the high of the momentl– slow, uneven breath and mussed hair, that Fern remembers how to use words.[break][break]

A fumbling hand reaches up to pull down a quilt that was thrown over the back of their couch so that the lingering warmth between them is trapped and contained. Hazy-eyed, their gaze tips up to find jayden cross ’s and they smile all dopey-soft. “I’d say you sure showed me,” they murmur in obvious amusement. Craning their head, Fern presses a lazy sort of kiss against the other’s shoulder cap.[break][break]

A dumb little laugh is quick to follow. “I was teasing you, though, you know.” Not that Fern is displeased by how it played out, or the fact that they remain curled together like sleepy meowth. Idly, their fingers trace lazy shapes over his skin, less to excite and more to soothe in the wake of bliss.


[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] jayden cross | ....what kinda honey u lookin for, jay >:3[break]

It’s not difficult to discern that jayden cross is not usually the snuggly sort. But the way he remains with Fern afterward makes all the difference to them. They feel special, considered. And it causes affection to burn brighter inside of them, like a lighthouse beacon insistent on guiding him back to them. Again and again, as long as he will have Fern.[break][break]

“Hmm sounds like you’re onto me,” they murmur, grinning like a fool at the dryness in his tone, “I'll have to change things up.” Probably not, though. They quite like being on the same page as him, they realize.[break][break]

Soft laughter follows, and Fern curls tighter against him, like a burrowing creature seeking out the warmth he radiates. “Absolutely. I have utterly no idea what impending doom you speak of.” The earnest honesty of the question is sweet and endearing, it makes them want to kiss him all over again, and so they do. First his jaw, then his chin, before finding his lips.[break][break]

Soft and light, like downy altaria feathers.[break][break]

Without thought, their fingers continue to trace over his skin, absently following the dips and grooves and puckers of old scars. Not wanting to sour the moment, they don’t ask the history behind them. They can put two and two together. Though they do pause for thought once their movement trails to the dark, inked lines of his tattoo.[break][break]

“Can I ask,” they begin, voice still a touch breathless and raspy from pleasure, “what your tattoo means? If it has meaning, that is.”[break][break]

They look up at him, blue eyes hazy and heavy-lidded, as they smile. “Only if you want to, duck.”

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] jayden cross | ....what kinda honey u lookin for, jay >:3[break]