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When Lam had invited him out, he'd never anticipated that his older brother would take him to a place so fancy. Despite his best efforts, Leif still found himself easily star-struck in the face of grandeur. Even if, over time, it had turned somewhat rotten. Going to places like this used to make him feel important, like he made it finally. That wasn't the feeling he got. It felt nice that his brother (sadly quite poor) thought to take him to place like this. Especially since it was probable they'd be begging for happy hour prices.
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Instead, going to places like this, reminded him of how easily he was bought. All someone had to do was wave some money and he would come running. In hindsight, it was a pathetic flaw of his. Of course, he didn't think his brother was attempting to buy his love, but it was always a possibility.
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His weird boyfriend also needed them out of the house to decorate it or... something. It was actually, in Leif's opinion, kind of sweet and he hated the fact it made him feel resentful. Negative emotions cause wrinkles after all. He really hoped that this meant that Rook had bought him a hotel room at the Nimbus, so he'd been extra nice to the guy.
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He looked up at the familiar voice, squinting at Lam because the other decided to wear that to a fancy hotel. "It's a..." He plucked the drink menu back up, "Negroni... it's featured so.." There was a bit of a discount for it for the holiday, but he didn't want to be perceived as caring about the other's wallet. Despite his apparent nature, Leif didn't want to be a mooch (unless they were rich enough to afford his taste). He wanted to be rich himself, famous with his own designs, not an accessory. He'd just... gotten lost at some point.
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"You're not worried about that? That it's expensive... I mean. Fine, yes... I suppose we can send a selfie to your weirdo."

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“Oooh, I want one..” He didn’t exactly know how to be formal in a place like this so he flagged the bartender and tried to order one of these negroni things for himself. Mostly, the bartender looked tired. They’d probably been dealing with this all night. But Lam couldn’t help it– some cool dude had bought him a whiskey at another place and now he had definitely passed the general buzz. Which also meant that his consideration of money went out the window a bit as well. “Treat yo’self,” he said to Leif with a determined huff as he sat himself down.[break][break]

He had tried to set aside some money for this, of course. Sober him could be thanked for that. It had come from a place of slight desperation and determination to reconnect with his little brother. So that was why he had invited him out, and to a place that Leif would like, more than Lam. Because Lam honestly just would’ve gone to the Ritual because it was near their place.[break][break]

But there was a regret that had kerneled and bloomed in him since Leif had turned up at his door. The fact that Lam had been so swept up in what he was doing, he hadn’t really taken the time to keep as close an eye on his little brother made him feel more responsible for the disconnect that had grown between them. Of course, that regret existed longer than this year, and it couldn’t be helped that their individual tastes were different, but all the same…Lam did miss Leif, and he felt to blame for letting his frustration and self-consciousness get in the way of keeping the tether strong.[break][break]

Leif used to look up to him. He didn’t really feel like someone worthy of being looked up to anymore. What did he have to show for it so far? He couldn’t sell his work, he’d only just barely moved from intern to assistant at the art gallery. It wasn’t like he was anyone special. So no wonder Leif hadn’t wanted much to do with him. Still, it pained Lam to know he’d gone through something horrible and he hadn’t been there to help.[break][break]

All those heavy thoughts had spurred this outing, but they were, fortunately, far away from his mind at present. They weren’t getting in the way for now. He didn’t even feel that prickle of apprehension when Leif judged his casual clothing. “Nope! Like I said…treat yo’self.” (He’d cry about his bank account tomorrow.)[break][break]

“Yessssss..” he snapped the pic and sent it off, but stared down at the haphazard and slightly blurry photo for a moment longer, lopsided smile on his face. Leif was definitely humoring him, but Lam didn’t care. He was happy to have it.

[attr="class","bottom"]Leif Logan [break]

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This reminded him of when they were younger. He'd always wanted to hang out with Lam back then and, admittedly, he still did (at times). Of course, he'd forced a division between them and that was his own fault. It had been beyond stupid. By the time Lam tried to reason with him, there was enough space between them for those words of advice to turn into something else. He'd looked for any excuse to turn Lam's warnings into something bitter and hateful. In the end, he was the fool.
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Admittedly, his greatest fear was still to be dismissed. For Lam to laugh in his face and tell him "I told you so" and leave it at that. Then, he would have to sit in that and continue hating himself for his continual bad decisions. Leif wasn't sure he could even blame Lam at that point if that was exactly what he did. Hell knew he'd been the type of person to do exactly that to his older brother if given the chance.  It was almost as if he didn't know how to do anything right.
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"Are you sure?" He paused, a little smile weaseling free. "You're only saying that because you're drunk already." He could tell. Though, the bad thing was that Leif was even more of a light-weight than his brother was, which was pretty damn bad.
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He smiled up at that camera, staring at the lit screen for a moment and then the bartop as Lam fumbled with the phone, likely sending it to Rook. This idiot was starting to make him emotional, which wasn't fair. He sipped aggressively at his drink, which was the worst idea if he wanted to maintain composure. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

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New drink in hand, Lam was perfectly content to sit in this bar that he clearly did not belong in. Did either of them? Leif definitely fit the part more, given his stylish looks and good posture. But the normal self-consciousness that Lam absolutely would have felt was padded and numbed. Thanks, liquor![break][break]

It wasn’t quite enough to make his guilt fade, though. He wondered what Leif might think of him– to not want to trust him with whatever had been going on. He hadn’t pressed the subject the day Leif turned up, but he’d been curious since. Unease had settled in his stomach, but even more than that, he blamed himself for somehow becoming a person that his little brother hadn’t wanted to confide in. And by now, he didn’t really know how to fix that. It wasn’t as simple as it had been when they were younger. Placating Leif with snacks and attention and skittys.[break][break]

“Mmmm yep. I got savings.” Lam smiled primly, chin tipped up. “I can treat you sometimes, since I haven’t sheen you in aaaagesh.” Yes, he did have savings– savings he definitely shouldn’t have been blowing on a night’s worth of cocktails, but he wasn’t to be stopped. That was tomorrow Lam’s problem. “I’m not drunk already.” Debatable.[break][break]

He sighed, giving in almost immediately. “Okkaaayy finnneee…my friend ditched me at the other place, but I made a new friend and he gave me some whishkey.” Which Lam did not often drink. It went straight to his head.[break][break]

Lam smiled down at his phone brightly, obviously pleased to have been able to snag the pic with Leif. When was the last time they’d taken a photo together? Maybe when they were teenagers. So yeah, he did send it to Rook, along with a string of only semi-legible I love yous and miss yous and heeeeeeeyyyyyyys. But it also just went right to his photos to stay there for the foreseeable future.[break][break]

He only looked back up when Leif asked him a question. He frowned in obvious confusion. “Huh? You’re my lil brother.”

[attr="class","bottom"]Leif Logan [break]

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"You're definitely drunk already," That was okay though because Leif knew he was even more of a lightweight than his brother. Sadly, he was shorter so he had less body to handle the alcohol consumption. Though if it meant that Lam wasn't gonna judge him all that much, maybe this was the opportunity he was looking for? He sipped at his drink as if he was trying to keep up. In truth, he was nervous and a little self-conscious, though the reality didn't show. He should have been an actor, he was entirely too good at lying about his insecurities.
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Admittedly, watching Lam stare down at his phone all dopey-eyed and dumb, well.. it made him feel lonely. Unfortunately, Leif knew he was the type of person that couldn't go a day without dating someone. He was in need of too much affirmation to go without hearing that he was cute or sexy otherwise he might die. This time was supposed to make him independent, strong. Lam went years all sad and pathetic, but totally unbothered. How did he do that? Sure, he was happy that Lam was happy, but he was also jealous.
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This would be a lot easier if he didn't attract so many jerks or settle for the first good-looking rich guy to give him a compliment. He wasn't dumb, unfortunately, but he knew what made him happy and didn't ask many questions until it bit him in the ass.
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"I don't know... guess I've not been a very good one so..." He sighed, it probably didn't matter right then. Lam was drunk so anything he said was probably a little null by then. "I keep waiting for you to tell me you told me so. You have every right to."

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“Mmmm…debatable…” Lam dragged the words out, definitely proving his brother’s claim to be correct. He didn’t mind, though. Maybe if he’d been a little more sober, he’d be embarrassed at the concept of getting hammerdrunk in the middle of such a ritzy establishment. And even more anxious and self-conscious about how Leif might perceive that as embarrassing. Because Lam was just a walking embarrassment to him, it felt like most times. But he was easy breezy about it now–his more laidback traits coming to the forefront once more.[break][break]

Somewhere down the line (probably when Leif had turned into a bratty teenager,) they went into hiding when Leif was around. Which sucked because Lam had always liked being around Leif, and had never before had any issues being exactly who he’d always been. The need for validation and approval in the eyes of his younger sibling felt ridiculous. And yet.[break][break]

That was what tonight was sort of for, though, right? To stop impeding himself and get out of his head a little where Leif was concerned. Leif was even more incapable of holding his liquor so surely it was only a matter of time before he caught up. He took another long sip of his drink, eyes flitting between his phone and his little brother.[break][break]

He couldn’t pocket the device just yet. Not until he got some sort of acknowledgment from the much more sober Rook. Which– probably because he was being responsible, didn’t take long. He fired off another badly spelled I miss you before tucking the phone away. It didn’t immediately wipe the stupid, affectionate expression away, but a frown did follow when he looked up and released the lazy hold his lips had on his straw to see the expression on Leif’s face.[break][break]

“Doesn’ matter, you still are.” His head tilted, puzzled as his face wrinkled up. “Whyyyyy would I do that? I’m not gonna do that. I don’t even really know what happened.” His eyes widened slightly, and he looked down as if suddenly second-guessing and scrutinizing himself. “Do you think I’d do that?” he rephrased.

[attr="class","bottom"]Leif Logan [break]