theo had noticed, though he never brought it up. he isn't the best at communication, especially not initiating it when he's not sure if there even is an issue. his indifference, however much faded, still persists in some aspects of his life.[break][break]

the front door shuts behind him.[break][break]

footsteps announce his approach as he makes his way into the kitchen. his eyes widen in slight surprise at the sight of her at the table.[break][break]

"i thought you would've been working."[break][break]

he walks over and joins her.[break][break]

"how are you?"

[attr="class","ooc"]Lulu Flint[break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-naganadel"]

she looked just as surprised to see him. perhaps it was being roused from her thoughts, or the fact that, typically, she wouldn’t appear until much later in the evening, where on many a waning night, she would join him until he fell asleep. until he began to dream, and became all too tempting, and she returned to her work once more.[break][break]
this was not like most nights. she’d been waiting for him.[break][break]
”i needed a break.”[break][break]
it was something she’d never admitted, at least not in the time that he’d known her; but this break was more than what she might otherwise consider self-indulgent behavior. it was more literal. something big had ended, and she was lingering in the liminal space between it and the next big beginning.[break][break]
”i’m… alive.” she gazed at him, the sheen of pensiveness in amber eyes fading. the glass in her hand stopped rotating, the whole of its bottom edge sitting flush against the table once more.[break][break]
”and so are you. isn’t that something?”

[attr="class","ooc"]THEO BECKETT [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

a break? consider him fully surprised.[break][break]

he reaches the table only to realize he doesn't have a drink. he turns then to round the counter to their many cabinets, the majority of which remain empty.[break][break]

"i suppose so, yes. i'm glad we both are."[break][break]

finding a glass, he pours himself tequila.[break][break]

"were you expecting us not to be?"

[attr="class","ooc"]Lulu Flint[break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-naganadel"]

she was quiet. her eyes dropped away again, and back to her tequila. finally, she took a small sip, and eventually, it might be clear that his question wasn’t going to receive an answer. [break][break]
”that day changed the way i’ve been thinking about things,” she finally offered instead.[break][break]
another moment of silent thought was then followed by a fairly uncommon question, ”how are you?”

[attr="class","ooc"]THEO BECKETT [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

her question is a common one made uncommon from the infrequency of which he has heard it from her. yet another thing that adds to his surprise. such an interesting evening this is turning out to be.[break][break]

"i've been fine. busy, but fine."[break][break]

he sits.[break][break]

"we lost a number of personnel so i've been occupied with that. there have been promotions, too, for those that stood out."[break][break]

after a sip of his tequila, he circles back to what she had said earlier.[break][break]

"what changed?"

[attr="class","ooc"]Lulu Flint[break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-naganadel"]

fine was good, she supposed. good enough for her.[break][break]
”hm.”[break][break]
and they were always losing people. that came with the territory. was the indifference cruel? maybe, but breath was wasted on the dead.[break][break]
”i hope they fill their positions well.”[break][break]
he posed the predictable question, but again, she was slow to answer. she wasn’t really used to explaining her feelings—not like this, at least. she had other ways of expressing herself. perhaps infamously so.[break][break]
”i was really angry.” a pause. ”i still am.”[break][break]
her glass swirled again.[break][break]
”but before, i allowed my anger to be the driving force of my progress. it was blinding. i suppose, i feel as though i'm seeing things more clearly, now.”

[attr="class","ooc"]THEO BECKETT [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

he bites down an "i know," or a "i figured as much," when she remarks that she was and still is angry. the plastic chair being thrown at him had been enough of an indicator, one he would rather not relive.[break][break]

his comments are drowned under a sip of tequila.[break][break]

"anger can be an incredibly powerful motivator."[break][break]

he nods.[break][break]

"i used it often back in kanto. i'd argue it's one of the main reasons why i survived."

[attr="class","ooc"]Lulu Flint[break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-naganadel"]

theo certainly had plenty to be angry about. she knew that much; but he was so calm, and collected. she had never once seen him outwardly enraged. not even close. in fact, she’d hardly seen him reveal more than an ounce of irritation, and she could count the instances on one hand.[break][break]
it was weird. perhaps they balanced each other in a way. or maybe she was just batshit, and theo was just dead inside.[break][break]
”but you don’t operate like that anymore.” she paused, and then ammended, ”or at least, you don’t seem to.”[break][break]
was she wrong? space was left for correction.

[attr="class","ooc"]THEO BECKETT [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

lulu isn't wrong, so no correction comes. rather, an explanation, one he only now realizes he must have never shared with her.[break][break]

"no, i haven't for a long time. somewhere along the way, it became easier to simply not feel."[break][break]

even after many attempts at reflecting, he's unsure when exactly it had happened. perhaps there was no tipping point. perhaps it had been the next step in his descent.[break][break]

"but i felt it again recently. on meteno, when i saw FERNANDO SILPH."

[attr="class","ooc"]Lulu Flint[break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-naganadel"]

to not feel at all was something she could not fathom ever achieving, as appealing as the idea was to her. it was part of what she admired about theo. it also made her wonder if he could feel love, then. sometimes he convinced her, but most of the time, she figured she was just playing pretend with him. and that was okay. it was perfect, even, most of the time.[break][break]
but then he said that, and tonight, it made her feel less cold. less forsaken. though skeptical, in the comfort of their new dollhouse, she decided to get closer, as though this confession were the warmth of a fireplace. a gift for the holidays.[break][break]
”oh.”[break][break]
she tapped her glass lightly, before taking a tentative, thoughtful sip. then she asked, ”because of me?”

[attr="class","ooc"]THEO BECKETT [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

the way she moves closer is not lost on him. he finds himself gravitating towards her as well, almost protectively. instinctively.[break][break]

"because of what he did to you."[break][break]

his head dips in a nod, admitting:[break][break]

"but, yes."

[attr="class","ooc"]Lulu Flint[break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-naganadel"]

she gazed at him, briefly quiet. absorbing, before she went on to share.[break][break]
”there was a reason i didn’t try to kill him, before.” why she’d simply robbed him half-blind instead.[break][break]
”i wanted to destroy everything he held dear.” law and order. society. the machine. ”and i wanted him to watch it happen.”[break][break]
but such were big things for anyone to tear down, and she had guarded such goals as a dark secret behind lock and key, for they would have surely put her away otherwise.[break][break]
it had been pure, unbridled rage to inspire such ideas. his so-dubbed incredibly powerful motivator. indeed it was.

[attr="class","ooc"]THEO BECKETT [break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-darkrai"]

"i see."[break][break]

no surprise comes from him this time. he had assumed as much when she took an eye but not his life.[break][break]

"i don't think i've ever felt anger to that extent but i understand."[break][break]

his glass lifts only for him to realize it's now empty. he sets it back down for now.[break][break]

"is that still something you want?"

[attr="class","ooc"]Lulu Flint[break]

[attr="class","pkspr pkmn-naganadel"]