rosie
she / her
15
October 15
Vermilion City, Kanto
unknown
Explorer
Lorekeeper
But I still believe, someday this lie will set me free
TAG WITH @eris
Eris Halla
waking || c
POSTED ON Jan 10, 2023 0:41:34 GMT
[nospaces] [attr="class","adrie-cover"] [attr="class","adrie-ban"] [attr="class","adrie-lyric1"]To the monster you became [attr="class","adrie-b"] [attr="class","adrie-c"] [attr="class","adrie-lyric2"]I'll be your CONTRADICTION [attr="class","top-acc"] [attr="class","adrie-content1"] [attr="class","adrie-content2"] [attr="class","adrie-img"]  [attr="class","adrie-img2"]  [attr="class","inner-finally"] "You wouldn't hurt them, but what stops the others? Like Matias?" She doesn't feel comfortable accusing Melody Miro. Blaming her for what happened wasn't her intention, but the woman keeps going, she keeps hammering in the facts that Eris herself already knows. And the more she forces herself to process it, the harder she bites her lip.[break][break] "You can't change the system yourself, Miss Melody. You don't have enough power to... neither of us do. How long are any of us going to be able to keep them safe? If not from the League that will forever try to choke them and keep them under supervision, then from the whole forces of Rocket's execution team?" She can taste the blood on her tongue, but when Melody mentions Hideo Kino dying, the sour doesn't seem to matter at all.[break][break] "I've seen their patrons... I know what they're capable of... I've seen how easily they kill. And I'm telling you, Miss Melody... you can't fight them as you are... A- and if Gavin ever said that he'd have to kill Hideo, or if I had to... I'd kill him. And if I die, I'd hurt him as badly as I can before I go down."[break][break] And Melody continues to point out her flaws, continues to dig deep with a knife and twist it. Her fingernails dig deep into her palms, the scent of rust growing stronger as even Reiner begins to flinch and pull away.[break][break] "I HATE THEM, MISS MELODY! I WISH I COULD JUST PULL THE GUN OUT ON THEM! EVERY! SINGLE! DAY! BACK WHEN THEY DISCUSSED TAKING OVER LITTLEROOT, I WANTED TO SHOOT THEM RIGHT THERE AND THEN! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WANT TO KILL THEM AND MAKE THEM PAY FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE!"[break][break] Hatred is an ugly colour, it's a horrible muddy mess that she keeps repressed with every woven smile and question she poses.[break][break] "You had a tough childhood! Your mom controlled you! But at least you had the stage and people around you to help! You could escape and now you have the power to do things you couldn't! You can just shut everything out and say they're bad or that you'll help them! But I can't! I can't just run like you do, Miss Melody!" It's pain that claws at the scars in her heart, it's anger that makes her draw her bloodied fingertips over her scars, as if she hopes they might open and take away the pain that she feels inside.[break][break] "You didn't have to watch your parents die in front of you! You probably still have family that are alive! You don't have to sit there every day in a room trying to figure out how you should tread carefully to avoid dying! The most you'd get for voicing your opinions is getting suspended of your position or kicked out! You didn't have to burn alive in a fire or face the threat of being drowned! They hurt you but you still lived because they see you as having value! But I'm just a kid, Miss Melody! I have nothing that they'd desire! I know they're going to kill me someday, as soon as they find me a liability or if they think they're capable of controlling Mesprit without me! But I have NOTHING LEFT! THERE'S NO ONE OUT THERE WAITING FOR ME!"[break][break] She screaming, she's trying so hard to pull every word back in but she's far too broken to hold herself together. Years of questioning herself had made her waver, doubts from the people around her had made her suffocate and as she sees Melody's disappointment through her own teary eyes, she feels like she's drowning.[break][break] "You say you think of me like a little sister... but what do you know about me, Miss Melody? What do you really know? How can you even say you're helping when you don't even understand how I feel? You aren't capable of helping and you probably already know it. To have to make that choice myself without any help... Now I have to fight to lie about something that was thrown at me? I can't just let go of everything and leave the region either... I don't have anything to live for."[break][break] I hate you so much, Eris.[break]
I know. [break] "Everyone that tells me that I should leave, or that they'll wait for me to take that step... They're all quiet but I know they're all still judging... And they say that they'll help protect me if Rocket ever comes back, what if I don't want them to? What if I don't want them to get hurt? I ask myself every day why can't I just leave them if I hate them so much. It's because I don't know if things will be any better out here! And I've never been given reason to believe that anything will get better!"[break][break] A pretty house in some quiet field, a big forest and a patio. A smiling Chu-e who'd laugh as she messed up a batch of cookies or help patch her up when she tripped. Someone that she could confide in, somewhere that she'd feel safe, something close to a family her heart ached so much for.[break][break] "I should never have made that deal with you... I wasn't ready and I'm still not ready to..."[attr="class","bottome-acc"] [newclass=".adrie-cover"]background:#2B2B2B;border:solid 1px #2B2B2B;width:450px;padding:10px;margin:0 auto;[/newclass]
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