[attr="class","samjermain"]While she considered herself above menial labor, Kelpie knew there were times one needed to dirty one’s hands. If Team Rocket failed in their attempts to collect seal stones, her mission of surpassing the gods would be more complex. Then, of course, the do-gooders at the League would swoop in like righteous eagles, tearing all of her work apart. The ultimate irony, she supposed. It was barbaric they said, but they still used some things inspired by her work.

They did not mind progress, they just did not want to pay the price to get it. Calpurnia was. That is why she was here. Not silly enough to stroll out unaccompanied—fancying herself a noble lady in need of an escort—her violet eyes flickered from face to face in hopes of a palatable partner. Then, she spotted someone familiar. She knew that mask. His slouch kindled up feelings of paranoia. Not caring about blowing her own disguise, Calpurnia strolled toward her nephew. “Ger-Bear! Look at you!” Kelpie cooed with no small amount of warmth. “You look like a little action figure! Trying to be all big and bad!”

Even with her own mask in place, the mockery on her face was impossible to miss.

After the typical introduction—which included suffocating him in her chest—Kelpie turned to the mission at hand. The box, which included some very important research documents, was given to her Dracovish to hold on to. Partially because it was a powerful menace. Partially because she cared not one iota if it died.

When the battle began, Kelpie rocked back on her heels with a smile. She gave him a squeeze. Stepped forward instead of back. For all his grumbling and gruffness, he really did care. “Aw! My hero!” A smile appeared as he tossed out a Charizard. “I have one of those things now too! Lab was going to terminate it. But he—” She tossed a Pokeball out. A large lizard roared to life. One of its eyes was gone, its entire body covered in scars. “--had some utility left.”

Another ball was tossed out, revealing a Mr. Rime. The glint in his eyes was just as dangerous as those in Calpurnia’s. The tapping of his dance echoed throughout the rift. “Do use my darlings how you want.” Not that she wouldn’t interfere of course. Gerry might be a tough little hedgehog but strategy, well, that was best left to someone with brains.

An enemy Salamence dove for the Dracovish and it's box. Kelpie looked at her nephew, seemingly unconcerned.

Notes

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[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

The familiarity which she had displayed, the mockery she had made of his attire. It certainly helped to feed the paranoia of this realm as it itched at him.

But alas the paranoia of the Ultra Deep Sea would find a poor playmate in Gerald. Especially as distractions were inbound.

Telling his dear aunt to stay back had seemingly resulted in the exact opposite happening. He looked surprised, baffled even, for a moment before an unamused scowl found its way to his covered face. But then he composed himself.

Gerald’s Charizard eyed the newly arrived Charizard. The lack of an eye left it unimpressed. And in its Charizard speech it tells the one-eyed-one to not get in its way.

Oh how trainer and Pokémon looked alike.

“Keep your Pokémon. As I said, I will handle them, just make sure to not get in my way.”

And with that Gerald’s attention turned to the Salamence heading their way. With a quick gesture of his hand Charizard went into action. With a few powerful wingbeats the fire lizard sent itself flying. Fire quickly covered its body as it met the Salamence with a FLARE BLITZ.

Meanwhile Gerald would charge off toward the League trainers combat knife in hand ready for some stabbing.



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[attr="class","samjermain"]The elder of the two, Kelpie’s Charizard stared down at the whippersnapper with a near. One that was made less intimidating by the fact that his eyepatch matched his trainer’s outfit—pink and all. It even had a little heart on it. “Grrrr.” It rumbled at the younger dragon as the beast took to the air. It turned its blue eyes to one of its tormentors, the urge to battle screaming in its veins. Smoke poured from its nostrils as it stood neutered, claws balled into tight little fists.

Again, he acted like she was some silly damsel. She’d dealt with worse than this in high school. A fact that many women would echo. “I assure you I have no intention of getting in your way.” Especially since they were going in the same direction. “But I am also not a child, Gerry.” What gave him the idea he could control her when he could not control his sister most days, Calpurnia did not know.

With a melodramatic sigh, Calpurnia let her head fall back. Violet eyes lifted to the sky as she noticed the Salamence’s trainer hot on its owner's heels. Another dragon—a Hydra thing—clutched between his muscular thighs. Points for handsomeness. More detracted for his silly childhood obsession with dragons. “But if it will help you feel more like a man, I’ll just twiddle my nails and let you get ambushed.” Offended by no small amount, the vindictive woman decided to do exactly as ordered.

Until her nephew begged for her assistance. Sometimes it took a bit of pain to learn a lesson. “Mel, baby. Come away from there.” The dragon turned with a look of befuddlement, its flaming tail lashing like that of an irritable cat. What the fuck, lady? his eyes said. But, remembering what she’d help do to his eye, the fire-type took a few reluctant steps backward.

The Hydreigon roared. Its trainer—requesting surrender from the masked individuals—slid off his dragon’s back.

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

Gerald’s mind was too busy to notice the implications he was throwing around. Perhaps if he had thought about it, he might’ve considered his words with more care, but he did not, and so he came upon the bad side of dear auntie.

If only he noticed that she actually listened.

Alas as Charizard clashed with Salamence in a fiery display of wrestling prowess, Gerald found himself being attacked by a Hydreigon and its trainer.

Gerald just barely dodged the greeting pounce of the new enemy. His gaze turned in Calpurnia’s direction to make sure she was alright, as he tried to figure out how to get out of this mess.




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[attr="class","samjermain"]Mel looked at the battle like a starving man a steak. His teeth gritted until his jaw hurt, his claws flexing at his side. Why was he being sidelined like some t-baller? He understood doing that with the fat, ugly cat, but him? “Come take a load off with mommy, Mel.” Calpurnia purred at the obviously irritable dragon. When he growled, steel crept into her tone. “Now.” With a grumble, the elder fire-type moved to do what he was told.

With a heavy thump, he settled onto his belly. Smoke curled from his nostrils as he leaned his head into his open palm. A grunt followed as his trainer approached, throwing her torso over his neck and head. Her airbags settled between his horns. “Who do you think will give him the most trouble, love?” Mel just huffed, lifting a claw to the young man himself. “Zard.”


Calpurnia laughed. “Smart man.” Watching her nephew dash around ike a bug in a terrarium made it really hard not to step in, but naughty boys really needed to be taught a lesson. As the Hydreigon crashed down, her lips perked up slightly at its corners. Perhaps three heads were better than one. Especially when that one was a toxically masculine child with a chip on his shoulder. When he turned to check on her, Calpurnia offered up a sarcastic little wave. “I'm all right. You show him who’s boss!”

Apparently offended by the presence of a cheer squad, the other trainer tossed out another Pokeball. A third dragon joined the fray—a serpentine Drampa with a frown on its muzzle. Its eyes flared pink as it tried to grab the hard-hitting Charizard in an Extrasensory. The scientist forced a frown. “I know my frail, womanly mind may not comprehend war, but I don't think you're meant to be outnumbered.” Calpurnia pulled out her phone, pretending to become absorbed in social media.

“Did you know Margie is getting married?” Mel’s chest rumbled in anger. as his trainer propped an elbow on his forehead.

Gerald saw small waves, and the sarcastic words. But he didn’t register the sarcasm. For a brief moment it felt good knowing she was safe, and it felt even better to be cheered on.

But that was quickly brought to a grinding halt.

Woosh

A right chomping-hook from the Hydreigon reminded Gerald that taking your eyes off of the enemy was a bad idea. Luckily he was rather adept at dodging.

He tried to put some pressure on his opponent with a stab here and there, but a knife made for poor weaponry against a Pokémon. And all his weighty equipment didn’t exactly make this workout easier.

Unfortunately his own Charizard was being kept busy by the Salamence, a formidable feat considering the fire-type’s vigor and strength.

Now, if only his troubles ended there. They did not.

A Drampa was sent onto the battlefield joining its friends in trying to take Gerald out, and it didn’t take long for him to hear remarks flying from Calpurnia.

Quick, hastily spoken, and perhaps even a bit annoyed he responded with “I know!” and “Working on it!”

But then Calpurnia dropped the news and a loud surprised “WHAT?” escaped Gerald. In that singular moment of confusion Drampa managed to sneak past Gerald’s defenses and land a hit right to the stomach. The air in his lungs was forced out as he was sent flying.

He fell to the ground, rolled for a moment and quickly fought his way back up, though his legs were surprisingly wobbly.

“That hurt…” Gerald growled. His opponent approached comically slowly. As if he was simply food being toyed with.

I didn’t want to release this one.

He quickly grabbed a Pokéball and from it a creature of crystalized electricity and mish-mashed cords in a vaguely humanoid shape manifested. Unfortunately there was a reason why Gerald didn’t like letting this one out.

One of its Cord-like appendages wrapped itself around Gerald for a moment, before it threw the poor young man like a ragdoll letting him hit and skid along the ground until he laid in front of old-zard and dear auntie, as it simply stood back and waved for a short moment.

When the sheer comical weirdness of it all faded, the Xurkitree would start sending swiping both Drampa, Hydreigon and if possible opposing trainers’ alike with its strong POWER WHIP.



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[attr="class","samjermain"]Oh dear. Calpurnia thought as an angry dragon head almost removed her nephew’s head from his shoulders. The poor dear really should learn to pick his battles. In this situation, she would have started by putting all of them to sleep. A simple Hypnosis would turn these dragons into harmless, mewling kittens. But, for some reason, Gerry seemed intent on fighting fair.

Calpurnia watched from her spot upon the Charizard settee as things went from bad to worse. His curt response drew out a sickly-sweet smile. “Sorry, love! Take all the time you need!” Kelpie called back. It was obvious how not sorry she was. In fact, she was tempted to do it again—remind him that the goal of this silly squabble was not to get hit. “First they change math, next thing you know they change battling tactics. However, can I keep up?”

At the reaction, Calpurnia smiled.Aww! Someone had a crush. Poor Margie. Acting as if she didn’t see her nephew being thrown about like a ragdoll, the scientist picked up where she left off. ”Remember the girl you went to homecoming with? The one with braces and buckteeth?” This last syllable ended as the Xurkitree sent her nephew rolling to her feet. “Look how precious she is!” Kelpie flipped the phone over, so he could view a classmate his auntie had added on Facebook at some point.

But her interest in social media evaporated when the electric type began its conquest.“Aww!” Calpurnia whined.”You didn’t tell me you had one of those!” She hoped it would shed a wire or two for study. Its anatomy was fascinating. The wave it gave was returned, albeit with less enthusiasm. “It certainly is lively.” She shook her head. “Though it’d have been better off tossing you towardthe dragons.”

She made no move to help him up, smiling beneath her mask. “Your thick skull would help.” Just then—perhaps intimidated by the Xurkitree—the Drampa moves to skirt around the legendary by taking to the air. From it comes a series of teal Scale Shots aimed at the downed trainer and his dearest auntie.

He knew he had to focus. And yet his ears kept picking up what Calpurnia was putting down. All of it culminated as Gerald was thrown back at Calpurnia, landing just in time to see the flipped phone and processing the words she had spoken.

“Wha…” Getting thrown was a bit disorienting. It took him a hot minute to realize who he was looking at. And by the time he was ready to answer the focus had already moved on.

“It is…” He grumbled. “A bit too much…” He continued. He disliked admitting that he couldn’t quite control the Ultra Beast.

But as she made a snarky remark, he shot her a glance that in the right light might even have seemed hurtful. “My skull isn’t thick!”

Meanwhile battles were going on.

Charizard vs Salamence was at a standstill, both Pokémon seemingly equal in strength and endurance. But it was only a matter of time before either one of them would feel fatigue.

On the ground Xurkitree was having the time of its life, jumping around, skidding along the ground, dodging and dancing as attacks rained down around it. Though feelings of disappointment arose within it as Drampa was trying to leave while they were having such a jolly good time.

Indifferent to the safety of its trainer the Xurkitree quickly used MAGNET RISE to increase it’s jumping height, before following-it up with a POWER WHIP cord sent to wrap around the neck of Drampa. It was Rodeo time!

Scale Shots came firing at the lot. Too fast for Gerald to summon another Pokémon to protect himself. And so he did the only viable thing for him to do. Throw himself in front of his Aunt, so they with their current path would hit him square in the torso, if nothing else was done.



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[attr="class","samjermain"]The admission came so close to what Auntie wanted to hear. If he’d just asked for help, the woman would have tugged him up and hugged him to her. But the stubborn brat had spent so long doing things alone that even the idea of teamwork never even crossed his mind. So, he just whined instead.


While a chaotic interdimensional being, Kelpie could not help but admire the Ultra Beast before her. It was as if it embodied energy itself—always moving without losing connection. “I believe it goes beyond a bit, darling.” She shook her head as one of the beast’s wires slammed into the opposing trainer. “You really need to be more strict.” The woman smirked, leaning into an open palm. “Have you tried putting it in time-out?” Her own Pokemon respected (feared) her. Her children did the same.


At the protest, Calpurnia sighed—the battle continued beyond them, mostly ignored. “You really do, love.” Though it did not make her love him any less, it took a sledgehammer to change his mind. “I doubt an MRI could pierce it." Then, the Xurkitree took to the sky. Its sudden change in trajectory drew her attention to the green dragon above them. It attacked. “What a rude lizard.”


Well, this is problematic. Purple eyes rolled as Gerry threw himself in front of her. “You really are a stubborn boy.” A manicured hand reached up in an attempt to grab him by the collar, aiming to tug him over the Charizard’s side. The sharpened scale dug gouges into the ground beneath them. Even as its head was jerked back, the Drampa prepared another attack.


It appeared now was not the proper time for a lesson. “Mel!” With an excited roar, the fire type surged to his feet. Without waiting for any kind of order, he took to the skies. Grinning at the partially immobilized dragon, he moved to swing a glowing Dragon Claw into the beast’s face.

For a brief moment Gerald considered Calpurnia’s suggestion alongside her remark about his skull. But time was not on his side as the battle quickly dragged the two of them into it.

He had thrown himself in between Calpurnia and the attack, only for a manicured hand to grab him by the collar and tug him over the Charizard’s side, saving him from certain pain, if not mutilation.

While no words left his mouth, given the utter shock Calpurnia’s intervention caused, his face would be easy enough to read. Annoyance in being stopped from his act of heroism, and surprise that Calpurnia even deigned to act.

Luckily the Pokémon doing battle weren’t limited by the same surprise.

The battle between young Charizard and Salamence reached a conclusion. Salamence now covered in literal burns, wings barely able to beat. The Blue lizard would fall to the ground defeated.

Meanwhile Xurkitree was quite enjoying itself on the back of the Drampa as the dragon was trying to throw it off. Unfortunately with the distracting Xurkitree on its back, the Drampa did not notice the Dragon claw coming right at it, knowing it out far too quickly for the Xurkitree’s liking.

Luckily the Xurkitree stuck the landing rather adeptly, though the same could not be said for the Drampa.

Alas that left only a Hydreigon and its trainer left.



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[attr="class","samjermain"]Deciding she would just lecture him later, Calpurnia rose to her feet. A hand lifted to straighten out her mussed hair, her breath escaping in irritable little huffs. A hand was offered to her nephew. “Let’s finish off this little incel, hm?”

A grin split the elder Charizard’s face as his fist hit flesh. Blood flew from his glowing digits, scattering on the rocks below. “ZAAAARD!” A roar of victory followed as a burst of flying energy sent him away from the falling beast. Full with the fire of battle, he immediately turned his attention to the triple-headed dragon. Unfortunately, his opponent was focused on the other two Pokemon.

Not a fan of being ignored, he sent an Inferno toward the middle head. Its fur burst into flame as it turned its total attention to the flying type. Instead of being intimidated, Mel felt himself center. With a burst of power from his wings, he dove toward the dark type. His wings allowed him to avoid the blinded dragon’s strikes with ease. The Charizard’s claws slowly brought it to submission, alternating powerful Slash attacks with little bursts of flame.

Then, the perfect opportunity presented itself. The Hydreigon lifted its head and the Charizard dove in. Its fist lit up bright blue as it unleashed a Dragon Claw across its throat. The beast paused for a moment, its lightning attack pausing as it made a gurgle of confusion. Then, its neck unfurled in a shower of viscera and crimson. Licking the gore from its snout, the Charizard landed, seemingly happy to splash in the blood.

Its angered, bloodthirsty eyes shifted to Calpurnia.

Seemingly distressed by his trouncing, the opposing trainer glared at them. “I’ll—I’ll—you guys will pay for this in the end! I promise!” Without a word, he jumped off the path, taking to the sky on the back of a rattled-looking Flygon.

Fucking bitch isn't paying attention. Mel charged his tormentor.

Wiping blood from her helmet, Kelpie sighed. The dirty little lizard was returned with a burst of red light. “I need a shower.” Violet eyes shifted to her nephew. “And you, Ger-Bear, need a lesson in positive masculinity.” She shook her head. "To be expected, really." She tsked. "Your mother had the worst taste in men."

Notes (410 MP total)

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• + 200 MP for win

[attr="class","samjerpoke"]

For a brief moment Gerald considered Calpurnia’s suggestion alongside her remark about his skull. But time was not on his side as the battle quickly dragged the two of them into it.

Gerald’s mouth went agape when Calpurnia’s charizard took to the field and turned the tides with ease.

Even his very own Charizard had to grunt and growl in acknowledgement of the elder’s display of visceral battle prowess, prowess which sent their opposing trainer running for his life.

Where usually Gerald would’ve sighed in relief and begun to relax because it was over, dear Auntie managed to instead grant him a moment of confusion as she began to talk about positive masculinity.

“Positive Masculinity?” He repeated confusion in his voice. Luckily his mask hid the giant question mark that his face became.



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