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Rook hadn't slept much, maybe it showed. He'd tried his hardest not to toss and turn, too afraid of disturbing Lam's restful sleep. Then again, not much could stir Lam from sleep so maybe he shouldn't have been too worried about it. Instead, he'd laid there like a heavy, unmoving log for the past 8 hours, interspersed with very thread-bare periods of dozing.
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The sound of Jubilife City was still familiar, the soundtrack of his life up unto the point he'd left. It had been a dramatic and emotional exodus from his hometown, not that he'd really gone into much detail to Lam. In truth, he didn't want Lam to hate or pity his life for him. Sure, it hadn't been great, but he still refused to believe it was all that awful (even if that was hopeful oblivion).
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Lam was awake, he could feel it even before the telltale stirring that soon occurred. The room only ever seemed to come alive when Lam woke up. A sterile environment slowly saturating with color again. It was like all the warmth sapped out as the other slept, or maybe that was his imagination. Seeing the world in that shade of grey wasn't healthy, nor was depending on Lam to breathe life back into it again. Maybe it was harder after seeing Lam fall apart, knowing that he had to be responsible too when he'd never really felt strong at any point in his life.
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He couldn't fall apart, at least not yet. And even then, he knew what to expect. Lam didn't, but he would. Eventually.
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"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm sure." No, he wasn't, but waiting easily turned into avoidance. It was a pattern he knew well. Rosie had been reluctant to go and even then she was watching him blankly. It was selfish, perhaps, he wasn't the only one left with scars from the past. Still, he brought her anyways. "What does it matter, it doesn't even feel it." Harsh words echoed, disguise snapped and dragging on the ground. Rosie-red cheeks collecting dirt on the ground.
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"Guess we gotta get dressed then." He was tired, still he pushed himself up off the bed.

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Maybe he was more attuned to Rook than Lam realized. Sure, he hadn’t stirred much in the night, but he could’ve easily continued to sleep well into the late morning without the hum of his partner’s worries. It didn’t bother him, not today.[break][break]

He nodded sleepily at the affirmation, huddling closer for a moment so that his arms could better slide around Rook. His eyes cracked open again as he bumped their foreheads together. “Alright. I’ll be right there with you.” In truth, he would’ve been content to lay about a little while longer. If only because he was terrible at early rising and also so that he could help ease any tension Rook felt. Even if he couldn’t actually do much in all actuality in this sort of situation.[break][break]

“You look exhausted.” His thumb skimmed under one eye gently, but he didn’t protest when Rook forced himself up and began to get himself ready. After a couple minutes of blinking the last of the sleep away, he followed.[break][break]

Pausing, Lam scooped up Rosie where she was tucked in the corner for a moment—squishing the face of her false costume head and peppering it with kisses between the ears, same as he would with Noodle, or an exceptionally cute baby poochyena. Coddling her like he would any of his own Pokémon. He plopped her down next to his knapsack resting on a side table. “You can hang out in there if you want,” he offered, figuring she’d like the appeal of a small, dark space.[break][break]

He sought Rook out again, though, briefly interrupting the getting ready process to carefully pull his face with his hands. “For real though. We only have to stay as long as you want. Say the word and we’re gone.” Honestly, Lam thought Rook’s father was lucky to even get a few minutes of his time.[break][break]

Not wanting to crowd him, Lam leaned up to plant a soft kiss on his lips and then turned to properly dress himself too. Ruffling hopelessly messy hair with a hand before moving to the sink to brush his teeth. All the while he subtly eyed Rook’s drowsy movements in the mirror, and tried to not let his concern show too much.

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I'll be right there with you. There was more comfort there than he ever might have anticipated before. There was also fear though he couldn't understand why. It wasn't like Lam was going to change his mind upon seeing him face his father. If anything, Lam was there because Rook trusted him to support him. It didn't really deplete the odd feeling of exposure.
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He let his head rest there, eyes closing briefly. "Yeah I know, thank you."
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Either way, Lam made him feel stronger regardless. Rook was well aware that Lam would have been more than happy to lay there all day and he was half-inclined to allow it, just let himself relax. It felt impossible though, they were too close and he feared that any hesitation would result in him running away from his problems, again.
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He got to change his clothes, smiling a little as Rosie slunk into Lam's knapsack. He was so lucky to have him, he couldn't imagine not having Lam around. It was bizarre to realize that all of this had happened out of circumstance. He could have so easily decided to do something different and never met Lam.
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"It's okay, Lam. I'm fine, okay?" He tried not to sound insistent or ungrateful for the other's concern, but it only served to make him more anxious and he couldn't deal with that. "Ready to see where I grew up?"

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[attr="class","text"]Right there, curled up together as they were, everything was warm and safe. The outside factors that rattled the both of them in different ways were far out of sight. But not out of mind as it grew more difficult to avoid what had to be faced that day. But for a few more minutes, it was alright. “Of course, it’s not even in question.” Green eyes slivered open to peer at Rook, then shut again.[break][break]

It couldn’t be set to the side forever. There was a purpose to the visit beyond a fun vacation around the region. Protectiveness settled heavy on Lam’s shoulders as they got ready to leave. Maybe a bit too much so as his reassurance took a turn toward insistence.[break][break]

It was difficult to not feel defensive of the other, though. After seeing the way so much of those earlier years had affected Rook and continued to do so in different small ways, how could he not? But he had to remind himself: this wasn’t his battle to fight on Ikarus’ behalf.[break][break]

The slight edge in Rook’s tone prompted a grimace—not because he felt particularly stung by the rebuttal, but more that it registered in his mind that he was probably being a little too coddling. So rather than go on the defensive, or take it too much to heart, Lam nodded and offered no more than a few more nibbly kisses against his chin. “Right, you’re right.”[break][break]

Pulling on his backpack with Rosie safely tucked away, Lam smiled as he threaded their fingers together and gave Rook’s hand a squeeze. “Yep! C’mon you two.” He looked back at the sprigatito-shinx pile as they headed for the door. “Is it very far from here?”

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Maybe he was overeager to get this over with. Especially when he'd been the one to prompt this endeavor in the first place. It was nice to have Lam there with him, even if he couldn't help that it sparked a few responses of its own. Park of him couldn't help the mix of embarrassment and defensiveness. He knew that Lam probably had an idea of what his life had been like, simply from how he responded to coming here. Rook wanted to insist that it wasn't all that bad.
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His life hadn't been terrible. Sometimes, his dad could be good. Rook hadn't exactly been the easiest kid to deal with. He'd been odd and had a hard time making friends or fitting in. Things had been complex. His fear for going back was that he might discover things he hadn't realized as a child, but wasn't sure what that meant exactly.
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"No, it's just a little walk from here." Part of him entertained showing the other some of the places he liked to hang out, but maybe afterwards. He didn't want to lose his drive. They were there for a reason. Though, it hadn't occurred to him until that moment that maybe his father wouldn't be there. What if he moved or something? Rook hadn't talked to him for years now.
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Despite that worry, he still walked on, fingers twined through Lam's. The neighborhood had improved some over time. It used to be a trashy and dirty place. It still was, but it seemed the city had cleaned up a little. Even then, it was still clear what corner of town they were in. Not the good kind. His father had owned one of the dodgy townhouses, renting the upper floors while they lived in the basement floor beneath. Clearly, he hadn't put much care into it since then.
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"So umm... this is it. Not much to look at."

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[attr="class","text"]The little cats scurried after them before the door to their room clicked shut. “Convenient,” he replied brightly, though he would’ve been content to walk further if need be. Wandering was something he’d never quite minded. Out on the streets of Jubilife, Lam peered around with obvious curiosity as he remained tethered to the hold on Rook’s hand.[break][break]

Sinnoh was new to him, like most places were. It reflected in his expression–even as the streets became more rundown and they took a turn toward a drearier corner of the city. This was still where Rook had lived and run around–and he wanted to know where he went. What places he’d liked the most. But those could wait. The townhouse they came to a stop in front of loomed over them like a sullen memory, but it did little to deter his interest.[break][break]

“Not like I lived anywhere fancy, either,” Lam replied as he looked over at Rook with a shrug. Maybe they hadn’t lived on the rougher side of Hau’oli or anything, but it definitely hadn’t been a luxurious childhood. Or even upper middle class, really.[break][break]

“And it’s cool, anyway. Like, you lived here–world’s colliding is kind of a weird feeling, y’know?” It’d be like a peek into Rook before Lam had known him. Good or bad, he wanted to know what the other was willing to offer. And this felt like no small thing. He leaned sideways until their shoulders bumped together.[break][break]

“So, uhh, what now, though? Do we, like, ring the doorbell, or..?” Asked as he took a tentative step up the front stoop. He could feel Rosie turning uneasily in his backpack. It felt like the smarter thing to ask rather than something like are you okay? Are you ready for this? which might’ve only served to make Rook feel smothered again. “Does he know we’re coming?”

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"No, he doesn't know." Rook said quietly back, still continuing to stare at the building until his brain caught up with the rest of the world. There was the trash can he found crumbs. Weeds peeked through the thick cracks in the foundation of the building. The paint was chipped and there was a layer of green mildew at the base. It wasn’t necessarily worse off than it used to be, but almost sort of a ghost of its former self. Still grimey, but in a derelict sort of way. “So, uhh, what now, though?” Lam's question finally caught up as well and he blinked. "Right, yeah. Sorry."
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Rook moved forward quickly, like he’d been given a little kick. Down the stairs to the bottom unit and then just a quick knock on the door, that’s all he needed to do. Instead, he stood in front of the door, studying how the frame had chipped and peeled. Was his father even still there? He felt stupid. Why hadn’t he checked ahead of time?
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His knuckles rapped against the flat surface of the door before he realized what he was doing. The panic that followed felt like an adrenalized kick to the system, but he didn’t run away. He didn’t want Lam to see that he was afraid. The span of time that stretched out after that felt like forever, but he was sure it was no more than a few minutes.
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The door creaked open, dusty light cast from within. The man that stood in the doorway looked exactly like him. Same eyes, tired. Same hair, trimmed but still somehow messy. Face a little sharper, prickly with a five-o’-clock shadow. He had a lot less kindness in his eyes than his son, expression hinging on “what the hell do you want?” kind of impatience.
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There was a shift, when he recognized him, but it was ‘barely-there’ cognizance. “Ikarus.” Not even a question, followed by a deep sigh. “I wondered when you’d be back.” Despite it, there was no accusation in the tone, but Rook couldn’t tell what it was. The older man looked at Lam, “And this is?”
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“This is my…” Rook swallowed hard, “this is Lam. Uh… and yeah… Hi, dad?”
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His dad nodded, stepping back. “Come in.”
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The interior was lit in a sleepy yellow glow. All the blinds were down, cutting off the sunlight. His dad’s piloswine was dozing on an over-sized pillow. It lifted with a snort, tossing its disheveled hair aside to look at Rook. The hog seemed to recognize him at least and he squatted down to give it a scratch. “Hey, boy, how have you been?”
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It was just a distraction though, to keep him from doing what he came there to do.
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He stood up straight, eyeing the cigarettes in the ashtray. The same old dirty armchair parked in front of the television. “Still smoking?”
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The old man waved a hand dismissively.
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Rosie squirmed in Lam’s backpack.
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“So, you’re back…?”
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“I am..” Rook wasn’t sure if he should add “for now” because otherwise it might seem like he was there to stay. He was there to ask for something. That was usually his father’s first assumption, atleast.
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The silence spilled out awkwardly. And then it came, “So, what do you need from me?” He lifted the remote and the television clicked off. Then he looked at Lam, “Want anything to drink?”
[break][break]
Rook felt his lungs twist up with something raw. It wasn’t right, but he didn’t know how to respond to that. It was bizarre, everything about this. How was he supposed to respond?

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[attr="class","text"]“It’s okay,” Lam nodded, allowing Rook to step forward and take the time he needed to approach the situation. As he stood back, he recalled Noodle, leaving Clove out. She was the calmer, less excitable of the two of them. Then his attention shifted to the building, studying those little cracks and crevices and worn-down parts. There wasn’t much judgement in the act so much as curiosity. Had it been exactly like this when Rook had been younger? Was it worse? Improved.[break][break]

His line of thought derailed when the door finally eased open. It was like two Rook’s in front of him. Which, well, that made sense given this was his father, but he was a dead ringer for the older Rook, wasn’t he? Less disheveled, though. Neater and softer. There was something sharp and cold about the elder, a severity in his eyes that didn’t ease—even when he registered that it was his son standing on the stoop. It was the first time he’d heard someone other than himself call him Ikarus.[break][break]

Lam could feel the tension under his skin tighten up. He straightened, hand lifting in a silent greeting when Rook introduced him. Albeit awkwardly. Lam’s glance flit to him, a somewhat puzzled frown twitching at the corners of his mouth when he avoided the explanation of who Lam was to Rook. Why was that?[break][break]

Regardless, he followed father and son indoor. Only somewhat registering the piloswine Rook doted on for a moment. He was too busy aimlessly studying the interior of where Rook had grown up, containing himself in the awkward feeling that held him apart. Clove had followed of course, and she remained steadfast. Huddled between his ankles with the soft rumble of a purr. It was difficult to miss the sense of agitation that lingered under all of the awkward. The wait for a shoe to drop.[break][break]

So, what do you need from me?[break][break]

Lam’s attention zeroed in on the man seated in his chair. What did need have to do with it? Was it so unheard of, to want to see one’s father without having to take something away? In the time that he’d known Rook, Lam hadn’t seen him ask his dad for a single thing. Not once. Even when they were scraping together ramen noodle dinners after rent payments, finding some way to benefit from what his father might provide had never come up.[break][break]

“Sure a nice way to greet your kid,” was what Lam wanted to say. He bit down on his tongue to keep the words from tumbling out drenched in sarcasm. An incredulous, but quiet scoff of sound still wiggled loose, but he covered it with an awkward clearing of his throat. Heat licking up the back of his neck when the attention swiveled over to him.[break][break]

Lam shook his head, fingers flexing around the straps of his knapsack as Rosie continued to restlessly fidget. “Ah, no I’m all good. Thanks, though. I appreciate it.” Sort of. He didn’t really want much from this person, if he was being frank. The resemblance was there in an uncanny way, but there was nothing similar about them beyond that.[break][break]

There was none of the compassion present that he’d come to associate with Rook. Something protective and defensive roused in him and reared his head, but he kept quiet. There was a slight tick in his jaw, still. He wasn’t there to take over, he had to remind himself. This was for Rook, not for him.

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So, what do you need from me?
[break][break]
Despite any of Lam’s misconceptions of those words (he was sure there were plenty), they weren’t unwarranted. Rook had done plenty to deserve a degree of hostility. He’d been a needy and problematic child, not to mention how things had left off. How he left him.
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Even then, Rook hoped that the distance might have given his dad time to become softer. Really, it was a stupid hope. He knew that time had only ever led to bitterness and rot. He wasn’t even any different with this, considering how he let his own dramatics boil over. Though their methods were different, loneliness affected them in similar ways.
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“I don’t need anything, dad. I just…” He shrugged, looking down. “It’s been years, thought you’d wanna see me. That you’d missed me, is all.”
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Maybe he shouldn’t have come. The regret twisted up in him, tightening as the seconds ticked by and his father was silent. His expression was unreadable, stony. There had been a time that he used to smile, Rook remembered that.
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“Oh I missed you alright. Didn’t stop you though.” His father nodded, a slow methodical sort of movement like he was mulling through his thoughts. His head jerked toward Lam, “Suppose you told your… friend here about all the money you stole from me, huh? Or are you here to return that too?”
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Rook flinched at that, glancing at Lam in a way that said: I can explain that. “No.. I didn’t… I don’t have any money. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… you were right, it was a dumb idea.” It wasn’t like he was perfect, afterall he’d spent years robbing other people of artistic skills that he didn’t have. He was a copycat, a liar, a thief.
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“I wanted to make you proud, I’m sorry I took from you. It just didn’t work out, that’s all.” He whined, feeling his throat twist up. That burning feeling formed behind his eyes, but resisted every need to cry. Don’t cry, that was a big no-no.
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“It just didn’t work out.” His father repeated, shaking his head. “I tried to help you, Ikarus, but you’re just like your mother. Desperate for attention, manipulative, dishonest, run away at the first sign of trouble. You’ve never committed to anything in your life, so now you wanna talk about it?”
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Despite everything, he snapped. “You didn’t help me, you beat me. It didn’t work either.” Tears bludgeoned the edge of his eyes. His throat twisted up, making his voice shrill and childish. “I ran away because I hated you. Everybody hates you. I didn’t want to talk to you about anything, but I’m here now. If… if you don’t wanna talk, that’s fine. I can’t make you.”
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His father stood up out of his chair so fast that Rook couldn’t help but flinch. Rosie thrashed in Lam’s backpack, toppling free onto the floor. Her bulbous head flopped around, disguise busted on the freefall.

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[attr="class","text"]His eyes met Rook’s, and the message he sent wasn’t missed, but Lam shook his head. A silent reply of it’s okay. It wasn’t like he’d magically forgotten the circumstances surrounding how they’d met. And he definitely hadn’t forgotten the rockier patches or his dwindling patience when he had to routinely bail Rook out. But Lam wasn’t there to cast a verdict on how he’d been at one time.[break][break]

It wasn’t the point, in Lam’s book. He knew Rook, and he knew the capability and potential he housed. How he’d grown in the time that had passed since they’d met, and if his dad refused to acknowledge it or even be civil, that wasn’t their problem. Just his own.[break][break]

He didn’t rise to the bait, or butt into the conversation when his father tried to drag him in by referring to him. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t incensed by the way he tried to pull a sense of betrayal from Lam. As if revealing some ugly thing would cause him to change sides and favor his father’s perspective instead. It wasn’t a subtle manipulation, attempting to make him turn sides.[break][break]

There were a number of choice things he could have said if he’d let his temper go. The tone of Rook’s voice plucked at his heart. That itch of desperation there, that even after all of the time and abuse, he only wanted approval. An acknowledgement of his effort. Lam watched the old man in his chair–how resistant and petty he behaved in the face of an apology. The fraying edges of his temper there, thinning out even now.[break][break]

Like it was all just secondhand nature, slipping into old patterns. Likely because it was.[break][break]

The thrashing twist of his bag jolted him, with a whispered Rosie! as she wrenched herself loose in the seconds before his attention narrowed in on Rook again. Clove scrambled out from between his feet, tail puffing out and fur standing on end as Rosie broke loose. She stood semi-curled and crouched by the mimikyu, but her wide eyes watched Lam who had stepped forward in the split second after the older man rose. It had been that involuntary flinch that shuddered through Rook that broke the level of his restraint.[break][break]

Like hell was he gonna stand there and allow Rook to be made to feel small while he did nothing. As he moved forward, his hand lifted to touch Rook’s arm to let him know he was there. And when he got between them, his hand remained. A physical tether to remind him of Lam’s presence. That no matter what his father might say, he was still in Rook’s corner.[break][break]

He didn’t step entirely in front of Rook to block him off, but he angled himself so that the wedge would be there if it was needed. Rook’s father was taller than Rook. Which was saying something, but Lam still let his chin tilt up so that he could meet his eye evenly.
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A brow lifted at him, “Problem?” The awkward smile he’d fixed on his face had slackened to nothing, the more amenable part of his demeanor faded to only the underlying current of thinned patience. The thinly veiled nudge wrapped up in a single word question.

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Rook felt himself constrict, his breath hyperventilating as Lam stepped between him and his father. It wasn't that serious, old habits died hard. He shouldn't have flinched. He also shouldn't have provoked the old man. His fingers tugged at Lam's shirt, "Lam, it's okay." There was a sweetness there, a soft fuzzy sort of feeling at the realization that Lam had stepped up for him.
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His father had frozen in his stride, eyes darting between Lam and his son. It was an odd, dazed sort of reaction. Almost as if he'd barely realized that he stood. Maybe it was the realization that it wasn't the two of them. The tunnel vision had faded and there was suddenly another person to lay witness. Rook didn't know, but it irritated him how the man backed down. "No problem."
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Rook felt himself shake a little as he dipped down, picking Rosie up. Her disguise was busted and she was clearly upset. He couldn't quite blame her, she'd not had an easy time in this house either. She also hadn't signed up for this. He dragged her here.
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"I think we should go." He whispered to Lam. "I hoped this would go differently, but at least I realized something. I'm not the problem. I tried to make up to you for what I did, even though I shouldn't. I was just a kid." He shrugged.
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His father sat back down, hands running through his hair. Maybe he regretted it, but Rook was no longer willing to wait around to find out.

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The insistence that it was okay was heard and not replied to, save for his hand brushing against Rook’s arm where it curled against his shirt. The flare of his temper was a cool and collected thing. He wasn’t an explosive hothead, and never really had been. It was wrapped in a layer of protectiveness as he waited for Rook’s dad to do or say something.[break][break]
Lam didn’t acknowledge the fact that there was relief when he chose to back down with a muttered no problem. Still, he didn’t move. “Good,” was all he said. Clipped and decisive. He sensed Rook moving to collect Rosie.[break][break]
“Yeah,” he agreed quietly, himself bending to scoop Clove into the nook of one arm. The sprigatito came to him, allowing him to keep close to Rook all the while. His fingers slipped down to curl into his boyfriend’s. He leaned to the side to press a reassuring peck against his cheek, but his eyes didn’t leave the man in his chair.[break][break]
There was an air of disappointment set into the hardening of his features, the thin press of his mouth. Do better. Be better, he wanted to say and didn’t, for all of the hope that Rook had pinned in coming here that something might change. But maybe it was a sleeping dog better left to lie after all.[break][break]
“You did what you could.” He knew that by that point Rook was addressing his father more than him, but Lam couldn’t help but say as much. Good riddance, he wanted to say and didn’t as he squeezed Rook’s fingers lightly. He tilted closer to Rook, in a low murmur. “Let’s go somewhere that’s actually meaningful now, huh?”[break][break]
Though he didn’t quite care if Rook’s father heard his words. Not really.

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This was not how he wanted this to go. At the very least, he'd hoped that they could actually talk. It was clear that his father wasn't prepared to forgive whatever slight he'd come to believe his son had made. He was even less willing to accept that the fault was mostly his, not his son's. Rook accepted that, at least. He'd gone a long while believing he was the problem, but it was clear to him that wasn't the case.
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Unexpectedly, he almost felt a little relieved after the fact. It wasn't about him. It was about his father, his anger and resentfulness. Rook was just the only one in the path for him to direct that resentment. Rook didn't try to justify that with excuses either, as he usually would've. He'd done enough justification for other people's sins.
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As they slipped outside, he felt the gloom dissipate, even if only a little. In a way, he could understand how his father had grown so rotten. That place practically breathed grudging energy. It festered inside and grew out into something ugly. He looked over to Lam and grabbed his hand. "There's this really nice coffee shop not far away. Or there's a good pasta place. Or the sandwich joint. I'm kinda hungry."
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His breath rattled a little as he exhaled, but he swallowed up the pain of it.

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