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POSTED ON Jul 16, 2023 1:46:54 GMT

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[attr="class","adrie-cover"]

[attr="class","adrie-ban"]

[attr="class","adrie-lyric1"]To the monster you became

[attr="class","adrie-b"]

[attr="class","adrie-c"]

[attr="class","adrie-lyric2"]I'll be your CONTRADICTION

[attr="class","top-acc"]

[attr="class","adrie-content1"]

[attr="class","adrie-content2"]

[attr="class","adrie-img"]

[attr="class","adrie-img2"]

[attr="class","inner-finally"]"Say, Mister Callan... what's your ideal smore?"[break][break]

A mundane topic is woven amidst the gathering of sticks, an armful rattling with dry kindling as she tries to kneel down and pick another.[break][break]

"Momma says that every adventure has their own secret recipe. And if I wanna be a great adventurer, I gotta make one of my own."[break][break]

Watchful as ever, Reiner leans right in, taking several of the sticks off her hands and carefully sliding them into the emptied backpack he carries. And he barks at her, a noise that is met with a sheepish grin as she tries to readjust the bundle in her arms.[break][break]

"Have you ever thought about it? Your own secret recipe, I mean..."

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2023 10:05:03 GMT

❝

Callan gently rotated his marshmallow over the campfire as Eris asked about making the perfect smore. Her curiosity reminded him of his daughter at that age, always seeking new adventures.

"The secret is balance," he said with a wink. Callan assembled the cracker, chocolate and perfectly toasted marshmallow. But as Eris watched eagerly, he pulled a ketchup packet from his pocket.

"Smores can be too sweet, so you need something savory to complement the flavor." He squeezed the ketchup over the snack until the packet was empty.

Handing Eris the stick, he tried to contain his grin. "Here, try this and tell me what you think."

Callan recalled pranking his daughter similarly. Though he kept a straight face, his eyes twinkled with mischief at the idea of Eris discovering his unconventional smore ingredient.

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POSTED ON Jul 17, 2023 11:16:34 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","adrie-cover"]

[attr="class","adrie-ban"]

[attr="class","adrie-lyric1"]To the monster you became

[attr="class","adrie-b"]

[attr="class","adrie-c"]

[attr="class","adrie-lyric2"]I'll be your CONTRADICTION

[attr="class","top-acc"]

[attr="class","adrie-content1"]

[attr="class","adrie-content2"]

[attr="class","adrie-img"]

[attr="class","adrie-img2"]

[attr="class","inner-finally"]Balance... She watches just what he deems to be balance in the form of the perfect sm-[break][break]

"KETCHUP??" A half screech accompanies a disbelieving point, her hands wrung at the man as she squints at what he dares to offer her. For a moment though, she does hesitate at how he speaks with the most serious of expressions, looking to Reiner for a second opinion as he shrugs. And they will come to a similar conclusion, the both of them huddling together as they squint even harder at Callan.[break][break]

"Nuh uh. You're tryna get me and I ain't failing for it!"

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POSTED ON Jul 20, 2023 3:51:39 GMT

❝

An evil cackle overtakes Callan as he begins to put the ketchup doused smore and mock chase Eris with it.

"It is my secret recipe!" Callan chuckles. "Just one bite!"

Eventually however, he stops the joke and sits back down by the fire, takes the smore and eats it.

It's not terrible, truth be told. It's just so weird that most people would never deign to try. "Mm... it's delicious." Callan lied, as his eyes watered slightly. He takes a paper napkin and wipes his mouth, before tossing it into the fire.

He briefly turns back to Eris, "Ketchup reminds me of my daughter, and so I have it on hand."

"What about you Eris, what's your secret recipe then?"

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POSTED ON Jul 20, 2023 6:00:16 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","adrie-cover"]

[attr="class","adrie-ban"]

[attr="class","adrie-lyric1"]To the monster you became

[attr="class","adrie-b"]

[attr="class","adrie-c"]

[attr="class","adrie-lyric2"]I'll be your CONTRADICTION

[attr="class","top-acc"]

[attr="class","adrie-content1"]

[attr="class","adrie-content2"]

[attr="class","adrie-img"]

[attr="class","adrie-img2"]

[attr="class","inner-finally"]What starts with mere pointing devolves into sheer panic, the first step taken towards her immediately launching her right into a run.[break][break]

"I don't want it!" She screeches, leaping over rocks and bushes and ducking around trees just to try and lose Callan. And Reiner merely snorts, playing along with a rather half-hearted run. Squeals and laughter fill the air, excitement that just doesn't end until the man ceases his little chase.[break][break]

Once he does so, he has to eat that cursed smore of his. And though he might try to lie straight to her face, the way the campfire shimmers in his eyes is a dead giveaway to his nefarious deed.[break][break]

"Why ketchup specifically though?"[break][break]

Did his daughter like ketchup or something? Or perhaps, she had fallen for his trick. Either way, she'll creep on over back to the campfire, spending a bit of time looking over the logs before unceremoniously plopping down on one.[break][break]

"Iunno... never really figured it out. I've considered whether using lavender would be nice but I don't really have any on hand."

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POSTED ON Jul 21, 2023 10:46:13 GMT

❝

"Lavender infused smores, little miss boujee over here." Callan chuckles, as he finishes the rest of his smore. He constructs a second one as he speaks.

"Well, I wasn't always rich, or an Elite Four." Callan begins, "I was poor for most of my life Eris, and so was my wife, and my daughter. Her mama and I divorced, five years ago, and they're doing much better now.

But, when you're poor and you have a daughter coming to visit you on the weekends, you wanna do everything you can to make her happy. Even if if it means you have to skip a meal or two." He looks towards Eris, smiling, "So, one time after my daughter was really sad, I spent almost all of my savings for that month treating her to the Ren Faire and a happy meal. She was a lot happier afterwards." Callan pauses, staring into the fire, encapsulated by the memory.

"I didn't have anything much in the fridge. But I didn't want her to worry about my money, so she ate on the table, and I went into the kitchen and ate some expired oranges with some ketchup instead. And ever since, I've kind of liked ketchup."

"Also, what's savory, sweet, tangy and salty at the same time? Ketchup. It goes well with almost anything, so you know, you save more money this way." He squeezes a dab of ketchup onto the smore. "Some things, you don't eat for the flavor, but for the memory. Try it, at least it'll be memorable."

Callan hands the the stick over to Eris. "What about you Eris, any strong memories of your parents?"

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POSTED ON Jul 21, 2023 11:04:37 GMT

[nospaces]

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[attr="class","adrie-lyric1"]To the monster you became

[attr="class","adrie-b"]

[attr="class","adrie-c"]

[attr="class","adrie-lyric2"]I'll be your CONTRADICTION

[attr="class","top-acc"]

[attr="class","adrie-content1"]

[attr="class","adrie-content2"]

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[attr="class","inner-finally"]"Boujee? What does that mean?" Her attention is split between Callan Young and her own marshmallow, the colour carefully monitored by Reiner just in case she ends up burning one side. Fancy, perhaps? If she had to guess from the context given? Either way, she's in for quite the story, heartwarming and yet oh so scalding as he gifts her a smile with his memories.[break][break]

"Your daughter's really lucky to have you."[break][break]

To still have you around is what really sits upon her tongue. This time, she's a little less reluctant to take the marshmallow when offered, but still holds it out to Reiner anyways so he can have the first taste.[break][break]

"My... I remember spending lotsa time at home with momma, listening to her talk about her research or watching her make lavender and cinnamon cookies... You see, we had the biggest field of lavenders outside our house. And every now and then, pa would come home with a fresh new batch to hang up over the fireplace..." She starts, half a mind trailing over how Reiner seems to squint at the sweet and tangy fiesta in his mouth.[break][break]

"Momma used to teach me lotsa stuff about exploring, like how to befriend all kinds of pokemon or what to look out for on an expedition. Pa taught me lots more about building stuff, like making fireworks or my own little programmes. He also made me a telescope once... and I remember spending hours asking him which star was which."[break][break]

There's truth to Callan's words, that things can be done for the memories. But as she sits there, slowly mulling over whatever that's left in her mind, she finds it easiest to keep her eyes on the open fire.[break][break]

"You're... lucky, you know? Really, really lucky."

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POSTED ON Jul 27, 2023 12:17:07 GMT

❝

"Boujee is like... being rich." Callan replied, "But in a way that makes you flaunt it."

As Eris finishes talking about her memories, Callan takes a moment. "Those are nice memories." Callan replied. "It seems like you want them back."

He pauses the line of thought however, when she mentions him. Callan raises a brow, "I think so. But I'm curious as to know what makes you say that." He grins.

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POSTED ON Jul 27, 2023 12:32:24 GMT

Chu-e Choi likes this

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[attr="class","adrie-lyric1"]To the monster you became

[attr="class","adrie-b"]

[attr="class","adrie-c"]

[attr="class","adrie-lyric2"]I'll be your CONTRADICTION

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[attr="class","inner-finally"]Of course she wants them back. She wants it all back with every fibre of her being, and there's that little part of her that dares to admit that she'd give anything just to wake up and discover everything was just some nightmare.[break][break]

Why does she think he's lucky?[break][break]

"You still have them around."[break][break]

Love, a family, that certainty that she'll always be able to talk to them. Or at the very least, the ability to call them this very moment or even send them a message he knows they'll eventually read. Surely, she's able to do the same with Chu-e Choi, right? To live in a loving home, to share joy and laughter, to entrust memories and fears.[break][break]

And yet, her laughter is weak, the flames seeming to waver within her gaze as she bites her lip.[break][break]

She can't even convince herself that he won't ever forget her.

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POSTED ON Aug 2, 2023 13:53:08 GMT

❝

"And so I am lucky that I can still speak with them, and have resolutions still unfinished, be made possible." Callan finishes, looking into her eyes, "It seems you derive a certain amount of pleasure from being a victim of circumstance, Eris."

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POSTED ON Aug 2, 2023 20:29:07 GMT

Chu-e Choi likes this

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[attr="class","adrie-lyric1"]To the monster you became

[attr="class","adrie-b"]

[attr="class","adrie-c"]

[attr="class","adrie-lyric2"]I'll be your CONTRADICTION

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[attr="class","inner-finally"]What part about this is her being happy? For a moment, she's stunned into silence, confusion eating at her system and twisting her guts until it turns into an ever-blinding rage.[break][break]

And when she stands up abruptly, she nearly punches the man. If not for Reiner holding her back, she might have tried to hit him, over and over again.[break][break]

"You're sick." She spits, straining against Reiner's hold until she finally wrenches her fists away and gives it up. "What part of you would EVER be happy going through THAT?" Her breath grows shaky and her body feels so cold, even as they both bask in the warmth of their campfire. "What... how... twisted do you have to be... I-"[break][break]

He had asked her why she thought he was lucky and she had been honest. She had envied him for what she did not have. What she couldn't recreate with her own two hands. What she yearned most to have but constantly worried about losing when she did. She couldn't protect them then, she couldn't protect Chu-e Choi many times over. It had only been through miracles and divine intervention that she got to see him again each day. And even then, disaster had only brought back fragments of what he had been.[break][break]

Why would he say that? After bringing up memories? After daring to ask her for the few most precious things she had left? Bitterness burns her throat but the unexplained pot of boiling emotions is what truly eats her alive. That wish to be able to hug her mother again and to cry in her arms, to have a hand to hold her own when she got nightmares, or to just simply be there so she could ask about all life had to offer.[break][break]

Found family just never felt the same as the ones who'd held and cherished her since her birth. Why? Even though they loved her just as much? Even when she should've found just as much joy being with them and doing what she thought she couldn't in the past?[break][break]

In the end, she's left with nothing more to say. No other way to express how she feels other than feral screaming and no ways to rid herself of all these thoughts other than focusing on the pain that arises from digging her nails into her palms. And she'll spare him no final glances as she turns, sticking tight to Reiner as she leaves for the tents.[break][break]

I want to go home.

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POSTED ON Sept 7, 2023 13:20:31 GMT

❝

Ooh, seems he touched a nerve. Callan watches as his comments elicit an outburst from Eris.

"Is it that unrealistic?" Callan asks, calmly, simply. "People are very good at showing the sides of their personality that they want others to see: A Rock Star, an Idol, a Victim. I would wager," Callan pauses, his eyes looking into hers, "That sometimes, they give in to such feelings, if the world is at fault, then they don't need to fix themselves. The responsibility is on the world, and not you."

He finishes his smore.

"You weaponise it." Callan continues, "You use your youth, your age, your terrible background, your Rocket affiliations, to garner sympathy and the attention that you deserve. Anyone that says anything against you is automatically an enemy. When someone presses upon it, you have a form of defense in the image of your victimized status. This is a form of narcissism, Eris."

"Luckily, you still have time." He drums his fingers, "And it is the reason why I'm bringing it up. It'll bite you, once you hit your twenties, and by your thirties, it will destroy you, I hope you think on that."

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POSTED ON Sept 7, 2023 15:15:37 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","adrie-cover"]

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[attr="class","adrie-lyric1"]To the monster you became

[attr="class","adrie-b"]

[attr="class","adrie-c"]

[attr="class","adrie-lyric2"]I'll be your CONTRADICTION

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[attr="class","inner-finally"]"Tell me..."[break][break]

She stops in her tracks, her breath quivering.[break][break]

"Did it make you think that you should pity me? The focus wasn't on me, it was on you."[break][break]

She hadn't meant anything more by calling him lucky, other than starting what she thought to be the truth. Family was precious, and she had hoped he would've thought of himself as lucky as well. She hadn't wanted an ounce of pity, because that only made her feel worse lingering on what she'd lost.[break][break]

"The world is messed up. Rocket hurts people at every turn, the League sits and falters when they could be doing so much more. That killer is still walking around freely because I didn't shoot him when I could've."[break][break]

Take a breath. She's sliding down a slope that'd be extremely hard to climb back up.[break][break]

"I don't bring things up because I want to. These are things close to my heart, that still scare me to this day. But when people ask, I talk. I say what I think." A pause, a subtle tremor in her posture almost written off as a trick of the flickering campfire. "I don't want your pity. I don't want anyone's pity. If I wanted to keep screaming at the world and thought that would make everything better, I wouldn't have fought so hard to survive till now."[break][break]

Despite everything, she's still here. She's chosen to get through another day, she's chosen to talk to yet another person, she's chosen to try even if she stumbles and falters. Another deep breath. She clutches onto Reiner and prays that her legs won't give out.[break][break]

"I don't understand you at all. You ask me about my parents. My parents who are no longer around. I gave you an answer, I tried giving you a smile. How else do you expect me to react? Make jokes about how I wish they were here? Say I barely felt a thing? I'm sad. It just makes me sad, so I focus on what makes other people happy. Like how you would probably be happy with your family still around."[break][break]

It confuses her in that very moment, makes her stomach churn.[break][break]

"That's what makes it so difficult. Everyone wants me to act a different way. People say that I should trust others more and rely on them, others say I have to do everything by myself. Or they simply say I'm doing things but don't even teach me what it is. I don't know what you want me to do."[break][break]

No one taught her how to grief. No one taught her how to cope. No one taught her how to hide agendas or approach situations with tact. And her methods were crude, often resulting in much more pain when she let her emotions simply get the better of her. Everything that she did, it was all things simply cobbled together from watching the people around her. And above all, she always tried her best, even if her best simply wasn't good enough.[break][break]

"Tell me then, if you have the answer. What should I do, Mr Young?"

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POSTED ON Sept 13, 2023 0:37:53 GMT

❝

Callan smiled gently. "Perhaps I've misjudged the situation. It seems this is a sensitive topic for you."

He reached for a marshmallow, roasting it slowly over the fire. "I don't mean to imply anything or make assumptions. Only you can truly understand your experiences."

His eyes met hers, crimson orbs filled with compassion. "But from an outside perspective, I wonder if focusing too much on pain can attract more of the same. Not out of malice, but almost out of habit."

"True victims are often reluctant to share their stories. They seek only to move on." He bit into the marshmallow thoughtfully. "Whereas those seeking attention tend to broadcast their misfortunes, almost addicted to the drama."

Callan sighed. He smiled gently. "Perhaps you enjoy it, but the road that leads to is self-sabotage and loneliness. And the first step to being helped is to recognize where you are in a pattern.

Do you feel like what I am saying is resonating with you? Because I could very much be wrong." He grins, "And if I am wrong, I can't help you. If I'm right though, I can tell you how best to deal with your emotions."

MADE BY MIZO

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myriascope

rosie

she / her

October 14

Vermilion City, Kanto

unknown

demolition expert

Civilian

1410 height

But I still believe, someday this lie will set me free

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