Eva has been avoiding Freya. Well, avoiding most people, if she’s being honest. The unexplainable didn’t sit well with the Professor nor Rayquaza. Their discomfort returning home was shared. Their minds were tampered with, and memories forgotten. Only small relics remained.

Eva’s fingers pinched the silver chain of the charm bracelet she found in her pocket when they returned. There were three charms: A sapphire, an emerald, and a diamond. The vague memory of what they represented haunted her at night.

She would dream of them: freya morningstar and KING WAYLAND. At first it was subtle, but with time the dreams became more vivid, more real. She could smell them, feel them, taste them. She never woke up frightened as if it was a nightmare. No, if anything she found her pillow damp with what she assumed were tears. Tears mourning something beautiful that was lost.

Of course. I’ll meet you there.

She wondered if Freya had the same dreams. She doubted it. It was probably just her tortured heart yearning for lost love. Unfortunately, it seemed she was cursed to be forever alone, forever just dreaming.

The ravine is close to her second home, the one she kept hidden from the world. It was a place of sanctuary where they could all roam freely since the loss of the ranch she had built with MATIAS SILPH. Ever Grande City proper was no place for Rayquaza or the horde of pokemon she cared for.

She arrived on familiar crimson wings. The emerald Salamence swooped low, slowing to let Eva slide off and on to the damp bank of the river near where Freya lounged in the Hoenn summer sun.

Something tightened in her throat, “Hey,” she managed to choke past it.

---

freya morningstar

freya hears eva before she sees her. the dratini pokes her head out from the tall grass, scales slick from wading through the shallow water of the ravine. above, mehira's wingbeats sound and freya feels a knot form in her stomach. feels a weight loosen from her shoulders. 

part of her knows if she dove into it, the memories that are brimming under the surface, she would understand the confliction inside her. she would know why it hurts to see eva. why it means the world to see eva. 

but she shies away from it, not standing, but still looking up at the woman as she approaches. 

"hi," she says. she bites the inside of her cheek. rests a hand on the satchel at her side. it contains the crown, wrapped carefully in cloth. eva knows - knew - its significance, of this she's sure, because she's followed those breadcrumbs, and knows this crown had a twin. 

"i should have checked in sooner. it's...been a lot." she grimaces. "have you been managing?"

how much do you remember? she can forgive king for forgetting. she is glad king has forgotten. 

but the idea of eva remembering none of it is incomprehensible. 

Eva Morales

☉

The memories are there, somewhere, buried deep down in a place that she refuses to venture to. At times Eva wants to remember, but a survival instinct inside her forbids it. She’s already been through so much. To relieve a life she can’t have (yet again) might break her.

Alternatively, her subconscious brings whispers of the truth to life. The memories are more like inexplicable feelings that tickles the back of her mind. In truth, she’s never really free from it. Would confronting them give her relief? Or would it only sendher spiraling, yet again, like when Matias left her.

Still, she can’t bear to take the charm bracelet off. It dangles from her wrist even now, a new piece of jewelry that she feels naked without.

“It’s been,” she pauses briefly, searching for the right word, “Strange,” even that isn’t the right word. There’s so much she wants to say, but can’t figure out what exactly it is.

“I’m sorry too,” she takes a few steps closer, smiling involuntarily when she finds herself admiring how the golden sun shines off Freya’s ashen hair, “I’ve missed you.”

Inexplicably so.

---

freya morningstar

strange. it's not much. she wants to ask, to hook her fingers and dig them into eva's brain. draw it up to the light and pick it apart. see it from her point of view - if she's done the right thing. if any of it was right. if any of it will be right. 

but she can't do that. she can't do that to eva. not until she's sure opening the door wouldn't kill her. the burden feels heavier on her shoulders as she moves her hand away from the satchel. 

eva nears and freya's heart skips a beat and when she looks up and sees her smiling down at her, she jerks her chin away. swallows a horrible, familiar feeling back down. the dratini emerges, soft pink scales aglow.

the tanzaku tree may have yet to grant her wish, but it's given the little dragon a gift. one she strains to use now in an attempt to soothe not only freya, but eva too. 

"we went through a lot," she says carefully. she tucks a braid back into place and pats the ground next to her. "sit?"

i've missed you.

she exhales. "i've missed you too." a pause. "i hear the league's mobilizing, sending people to the ultra deep sea. eva, do you...?" she struggles to find the words. 

"am i doing enough?"

Eva Morales

☉

The snippets Eva has pick up from conversations about Galar in passing indicate they did go through quite a lot, too much maybe. Perhaps that is why she failed to make heads or tails of it all. Was it so traumatic her mind repressed it immediately? It made the nervous bubbling in her belly that much more confusing. She had never been nervous around Freya before.

Her chin tucks in a little nod before she settles down beside the dragoness. The tension in her shoulders seems to dissipate when Freya shares her sentiment. Perhaps a little pink could be seen rising into her cheeks above her small smile. It fades though, when Freya brings up Ultra Deep Space.

It’s a dangerous and unknown dimension. Even Eva has her reservations about sending just anyone in there. Although Freya is more than capable of taking care of herself, Eva couldn’t bear the thought of seeing her torn and tattered like she had in Dewford.

“I-” she hesitates for a moment, swallowing down the lump in her throat that already wants to scream, begging Freya not to go. Eva was going, of course. Both on a scientific front and a military. Eva knew Freya would fight alongside her if she asked. She promised she would, after all.

“That’s a loaded question, Freya,” Eva finally says, speaking softly as her eyes find the sparkling pebbles beneath the crystal clear water, “Do you think you’re doing enough?”

---

freya morningstar

eva sits next to her and it feels right. comforting. warm. a small part of her whispers that it would be okay to sidle closer to her, to cut away the lines dividing them and pretend, for a moment, that this is some other life. but that wouldn't do. even in another life, her heart belonged to another. 

it reminds her that eva more than likely does not know about the extent of freya's involvement with KING WAYLAND. or that after so many years, the two of them had come to consider the other as friends. 

and gods, it hurts. it hurts because freya knows exactly what eva's thinking. she knows why the worry is stoppering her words. feelings, buried, maybe forever, but living inside of her. making her feel/ache/hurt inextricably. inevitably. 

"i'll be careful," she says with a small smile. "ALEXANDER STONE is building me a sygna suit."

the dratini slithers through the water, sending ripples out in waves, and then she sidles gently up to eva's side. wide lavender eyes look up at her. her tail stretches and she palms at eva's hand, seeking the warmth freya cannot. 

she pulls her gaze away and tosses a stone into the lazy river. 

"no. yes? sometimes, but most of the time, no. i just...feel small. i look back at the conflict at dewford and i see all the ways i could have done things differently."

Eva Morales

☉

Eva’s eyebrows perk up, and her eyes shine with a little relief, “A sygna suit?: of course she knows what one is, but they are still quite uncommon, “Well, that’s great,” it did provide some resilience against the underlying effects of the unknown dimensions, “For Salamence . . . I presume?” her lips curl into a playful grin.

There’s a lot of parallel between Freya’s explanation and what Eva feels on a daily basis. So, she smiles in understanding, nodding softly. The professor’s hand falls to caress the pink dragon’s magenta scales.

“That’s a common sentiment, I’m afraid,” her hand swoops down to rub the serpent’s chin, “I feel that way constantly. Like no matter how much I do, no matter how big of an impact I make, it’s never enough,” she shrugs lightly, “It would be contradictory for me to lecture you about self worth considering I can’t even put it into practice myself.”

“To be honest, it’s a constant battle. A losing one, I've learned,” which is really a sad reality Eva wouldn’t admit to anyone but Freya. Without a second thought she finds herself spilling her heart out to this woman: her weaknesses, her fears, her flaws all laid bare, “The question is, what is more? What more could you do? What is your purpose in this big ole world?” she pats the Dratini to signal she is complete, turning to give Freya her full attention, “For me it’s helping Hoenn find Peace,” a seemingly impossible task. No wonder she feels doomed to fail, “What is it for you? What is Freya Morningstar’s purpose?”

---

freya morningstar

"no, i was thinking klefki," she says, a teasing grin to rival eva's own. she bumps her shoulder against her and then looks down, fiddling with a loose braid in an effort to stop thinking about their closeness. or that she would have been content to stay rested there, shoulder to shoulder. 

'you should sleep. the book will still be there tomorrow.'

she watches eva's fingers slip under the hatchling moon's neck. the little dragon stretches, eyes closing as the warmth of the professor's fingers sinks into its soft scales.

the dratini's eyes close, low hum expressing her contentment. her dragons don't often sing for anyone but her. the braid slips from her fingers, tightened once again, and she chews the inside of her cheek, listening to the present and seeing the past. 

"i don't think i've ever known that," she says. "not even when i took council. i never thought this is what i'm supposed to do." 

and then she begged him for purpose, to bastardize whatever destiny truly lie in wait because the not knowing almost killed her. she would rather have lived a lie than know there is a chance she will amount to nothing, that she's meant for nothing. and she wants to tell this to eva, but the words get clogged - too many and too much with no way of knowing how to start. 

"i took the morningstar name thinking it would give me purpose, that it would make me more me, but what if i was always meant to be a nobody, eva? and all this has just been...make believe. playing pretend."

she wasn't there when sootopolis fell. she wasn't there to protect it. she wasn't there when theodore and sophia went to war. she wasn't there to protect them. how is she deserving of the morningstar legacy when all she's done is let it fall to ruin?

"but i just...want to do good. because of people like you." because of you. and king. and delta. and all the people like them.

Eva Morales

☉

It’s not hard to come up with a purpose. What is difficult is accepting ones true purpose. Rarely is it ever what you want it to be or even expect.

Though Freya’s fears are legitimate and deep, Eva pulls her lips into a smile. It’s soft and welcoming. Eva’s been there. In many ways, she still is. She struggles to recognize how her own contributions make any difference. For all she’s done, for all she’s fought for, she’d always been on the losing side.

“A name doesn’t define who you are,” her hand reaches out to rest on Freya’s shoulder gently. Her fingers tips twitch against the soft warmth of her skin, “It’s what you do with that name,” her touch grows tender, a subtle squeeze as her fingertips dimple Freya’s supple skin, “No one is a nobody, you least of all.”

Eva shakes her head, dismissing the notion all together.

To some, Freya is everything.

“You can, and you will. I believe in you.”

---

freya morningstar

it's too much. eva's smile and her touch, fingers searching for a tether freya can't provide. not really. she hadn't been able to then and she certainly isn't able to now, but that doesn't stop her from her selfishness. that doesn't stop her from putting a hand over eva's own, dragging it over her shoulders, and slumping against her side, cheek against her shoulder, curling into the crook of her side like she belongs there.

she is so, so alone. king doesn't remember. eva doesn't remember. and she told herself she was fine with it because she has to be, but it wells up in her now, this horrible, awful, gnawing loneliness. 

"you mean the world to me," she says softly, weary with the weight of however many years. she sniffles. her eyes are glassy, but no tears come.

"and i want to show you something, to make you remember, but i can't." so she'll continue on hating king and there will be a distance between them, always, but it's better than the burden of knowing. anything is better than this. 

"i'm sorry. i know that doesn't make sense. i...thank you. for believing in me all this time." her lips twitch. "even though i tried to drunkenly punch you."

Eva Morales

☉

As she had done so many times amidst those phantom years, Eva welcomed Freya into her tender embrace. The familiarity of it didn’t quite strike Eva. For such an intimate moment, it felt so natural she didn’t think about it twice. Some buried instinct twisted her into a practiced position where Freya seemed to fit perfectly against her collar bone in the crook of her neck. Eva’s cheek settled into the draconid’s soft hair, tousled by every breath and word she spoke.

You mean the world to me.

An out of the blue statement that just seemed right. In a way, Eva already knew that so she didn’t seem surprised but she couldn’t explain it to herself, which resulted in an extra few breaths of silence. It gave Freya the room to stretch the mystery further. Eva’s grip around her tightened subtly and she looked down into the mess of silver hair on her chest. Freya might be able to catch her heartbeat quicken beneath her cheek, “How do I know you mean that?” it’s not a question to challenge Freya’s feelings, but one of legitimate curiosity brought forth by Freya’s broken explanation.

Eva’s nervous, like a shy girl on a first date though she doesn’t pull away from Freya. It’s more uncomfortable away from her. Why?

Freya lightened the mood and Eva actually laughed softly, “You missed so maybe I don’t believe you could drunkenly punch me but . . .” her voice lowers from something playful to almost sultry that breathes hot against her hair, “Even then I never stopped.”

---

freya morningstar

they fit together neatly, slipping into a cadence they'd known all those years. freya had kept what distance she could in that time when king was away, but eva was a weakness. and slowly, freya had become a weakness for her. there, encircled, she feels safe. 

eva grips her tightly and her pulse quickens, as it has before, and freya's eyes half-close, blurry with tears. she can't explain how, not with words. words will hurt. so she has only the turning of her head, forehead to eva's collarbone, arms (somewhat awkwardly) wrapped tightly around her. blurring the rest of the spaces between them. 

breathing, feeling more than herself, for a time. until the passing of time gently reminds her enough. eva's needs outweigh her own; she can only push this so far before walking it back...

eva's breath in her ear sends a ripple of goosebumps and shivers down her side. she bites her lip, quiets the laugh bubbling up in her throat, afraid it will turn into a choked sob. 

"i don't know, eva," she says and withdraws, wiping at her eyes. "my right hook's gotten better. mm, maybe i'll use it on your shitty ex instead."

Eva Morales

☉

Eva’s question goes unanswered, something she may have put more notice in if she wasn’t so distracted. She laughs for the both of them, side eyeing Freya as she withdraws. The corners of her lips pull into an amused grin, “Has it, now?” but any playfulness disappears at the mention of Matias. Instead, her gaze diverts back down to the stream, leaving any opinions she may have on the notion of punching him unsaid. It would always be a sore subject, she loves those who don’t deserve it too much - misplaced and unrewarded.

“So all this talk of action and wanting to do more,” she voice trails off for a moment when she catches a flash of Mehira’s emerald scales against the sapphire sky, “What is it you’re planning to do?”

Eva’s attention snaps back to Freya, “I know you wouldn’t be talkin’ like that if you didn’t already have a plan.”

---

freya morningstar