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TAG WITH @ashley

POSTED ON Sept 25, 2023 5:41:27 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

"What happened to you?"[break][break]

How many times has it been since he's said those words now? He should be enjoying his new engagement. He had a whole month spent away from Hoenn, and yet he's back.[break][break]

And everything is just as bad as it was. No. It's worse now.[break][break]

Where did it all go wrong?[break][break]

=========TEN YEARS AGO==========

[break][break]

Fifteen years old. Sawyer sat in the little Kanto diner booth, silver eyes peering out as he looked out to the world. His hair is short and silver. It'd be another year before he styles it the way he used to. It'd be another few years until he dyed it black. He sits with his sweater to keep warm. Someone has the AC on too much, and he's shivering.[break][break]

The retro vibe is lost on him, a bygone era of time with no relevance to a teenager.[break][break]

Despite everything, this place had one thing going for it in Unovan culture; there was this peach cobbler, warm, hot, that paired really well with vanilla ice cream. A cold and hot blend that was magical. He learned it from one of the older boys of Rocket, and considered this diner a gem. A little piece of home.[break][break]

As much as he wanted to forget about home, anyways. This was some of the only good shit. All that waited there was another dice roll in a broken foster care system. Here? In Rocket? He could be something.[break][break]

When THEO BECKETT didn't beat that into him.[break][break]

He shivers.[break][break]

Sawyer was happy though. He waited here for his friend. Someone close in Rocket, that he respected. Seated next to him was a big Raichu, that made a happy giddy noise as she drank from a milkshake. Jubilee. Sawyer always spoiled her.[break][break]

He loved that Raichu like nothing else.[break][break]

A look at his phone, and he wondered if he got lost. No message on his phone.[break][break]

He decides to text himself. U comin', Jay? They hvn't come out w/ the cobb yet. He's nervous as he sends the text.[break][break]

Petting Jubilee... he waits for his best friend. jayden cross.

jayden cross[break][break]

NOTES

- VIBE, MUSIC[break]
- Ashley laments on his failings with Jayden... ten years ago. When he was waiting for Jayden to come to the Unovan-styled diner.[break]
- He texts Jayden if he's coming, seated next to Jubilee the Raichu drinking a milkshake.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

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POSTED ON Sept 26, 2023 4:49:42 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

'Why?'

[break][break] Slash.

[break][break] 'Never forget, Jay. I don't want to do this to you. I'm only doing it because I love you.'

[break][break] Slash.

[break][break] Blood splatters.

[break][break]

—

[break]

I'm on my way. Sorry.

[break] After being excused, a young jayden cross hurries to their meeting spot. A mission gone awry had ended up in an unexpected interaction with Alexei and Father, but after doing what he was told, they eventually released him. Bandages tie tighter neck where he was struck, bruises still blooming around his cheeks.

[break][break] Despite the injured state of his being, Jayden's face is warm with compassion as he spots Ashley Shepard's across the diner. He doesn't smile, but he's clearly overjoyed to see his best friend still there waiting for him.

[break][break] He slides into the booth next to him, glancing over at Jubilee.

[break][break] "Sorry," he murmured. "You order yet?"

[attr="class","ooc"] Ashley Shepard

☉

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Ash

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TAG WITH @ashley

POSTED ON Sept 26, 2023 6:35:33 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

=========TEN YEARS AGO==========

[break][break]

[break][break]

Jubilee, the little Raichu, cries out happily, seeing Jay enter the diner. And with it, Sawyer's eyes shoot up. He's grinning, ear-to-ear, but the grin readjusts itself. He looks over Jayden. Every other face a shadow, a memory he couldn't recall from an era way back when. He wants to see if he has come back any worse than last time.[break][break]

Maybe it's his fear of losing his friend for good in a cruel, unforgiving world. Little Sawyer had worry riddled over his face, plaguing his every thought.[break][break]

But he never did want to pry. He just cared too much not to.[break][break]

"I did. I hope you like peach cobbler and vanilla ice cream, that's gonna be our dessert. I just got something light." The dessert was the best part of tonight. And notihng beat it more than sharing it with Jay. That funny friend he had funny feelings about. It was hard to think back then, that things would lead to their eventual points...[break][break]

In this bittersweet little memory, Rocket could not poison them. It was everything before, and everything after, that would let that poison into their veins.[break][break]

"You should try the burger. This place makes 'em just as good as they did in Castelia." The few he had in Castelia when he was thirteen still could be felt on his tongue. This place was the silver medalist, but only to the king.[break][break]

Concern over his face, he holds his hand out to Jay. His cheeks are hot.

jayden cross[break][break]

NOTES

- VIBE, MUSIC[break]
- Jubilee squeaks seeing Jay, and Ash was happy to see Jay. He's bright, happy sunshine. But worry is over him.[break]
- Yeah. He ordered. Jay should get a burger. They make em like they're back home... he moves to grab Jay's hand.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

[attr="class","ashley1credit"]

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jayden

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POSTED ON Sept 26, 2023 6:43:36 GMT

Cillian Quinn and Chu-e Choi like this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

If Ashley Shepard looked closely, he would know it wasn't that bad. Not as bad as it could've been. Not as bad as it would've been if Cillian Quinn hadn't taken him on as a mentee, and not as bad as if people like Chu-e Choi or THEO BECKETT had gotten to him instead.

[break][break] Because unlike them, Alexei was doing it because of love. Sweet, horrible, familial love.

[break][break] "I've... never had it." His brow furrows. It wasn't that his parents didn't feed him well, but mother's food tended to lean on the side of bland or maybe even savory. Never sweet. He glances towards his best friend. "I'll be excited to try it."

[break][break] 'With you, Ash.'

[break][break] "Okay."

[break][break] With a nod, Jayden waits for the waiter to come over. When it does, he furrows his brows again over the menu before eventually deciding on the very burger that Ashley recommended. Normally, Jayden would not have even bothered ordering anything. He wasn't that hungry. But the warmth of Ash's thigh against his own compelled him, throat thrumming with nervousness.

[break][break] When it was over, and the unfamiliar woman gone, he was glad to be just by Ash's side.

[break][break] Violet eyes blink at the offered hand, and wordlessly, without thought, he offers a hand out to him.

[break][break] His eyes speak the questions that his mouth won't let him say.

[break][break] 'Ash?'

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] Ashley Shepard

☉

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Ash

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December 2

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POSTED ON Sept 26, 2023 7:01:47 GMT

Chu-e Choi likes this

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[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

=========TEN YEARS AGO==========

[break][break]

[break][break]

Bad was still bad.[break][break]

Even if it wasn't Chu-e Choi or THEO BECKETT, it was still vile. Sawyer knew abuse. Jayden suffered from it from a familial perspective, one that Sawyer would never truly know. He never had a real family. He didn't know what the feeling was like.[break][break]

But he knew the family he had here. Holding Jay's hand meant he was still here. Holding it meant that Ash was too. Not as Sawyer. Not as this Rocket alias he adopted as his last name, as himself.[break][break]

He smiles quietly, leans back, and just lets the world go by. Eyes closed, as little Jubilee's milkshake was the only thing that could be heard over the 80s-styled music...[break][break]

===================

[break][break]

Nothing else mattered back then. A memory that made Ashley smile all the more.[break][break]

===================

[break][break]

"You didn't order a drink, dummy." Ash grins, making a chuckle, pushing his water over towards Jay. Yeah, drinking from his glass, but that's okay. He didn't mind the germs so much.[break][break]

It was just Jay.

jayden cross[break][break]

NOTES

- VIBE, JUKEBOX TURN ON[break]
- Man. Nostalgia really is a bitch. Closes his eyes, touches paws.[break]
- Makes fun of Jayden for not ordering a drink, but offers his own water. It was just water he drank from. They can share it.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

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jayden

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POSTED ON Sept 26, 2023 7:28:33 GMT

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[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

Ash doesn't answer, but Jayden doesn't need him to. His silence is all the answer he needs.

[break][break] The song rolls in from the speakers, filling the boy with immediate calm. There's not much he can think of in this life that is peaceful, especially when a reality like theirs which is Rocket and a reality like Jayden's own where his parents were the most cruel thing that had happened to him, but it was in small moments like this that he considered Ash his best friend. It was because of small moments like this that he could breathe peace.

[break][break] 'You didn't order a drink, dummy.'

[break][break] Jayden blinks.

[break][break] "Oh."

[break][break] Embarrassment dusts his cheeks and Jayden sits up again. He thinks about calling the waitress over. But she seems preoccupied, and was he really that thirsty — but Ash reads his mind. He blinks in gratitude towards the other before using his free hand to lean down and suck at the straw, inhaling the clear liquid as if it made of crystal-spring rivers. As if it's made from Suicune's own purified lakewater.

[break][break] "Thanks Ash," he says, not realizing how parched he actually was. "I needed that."

[break][break] Adjusting, knees bumping against his in the small booth, Jayden turns to him as he pushes the plastic glass back.

[break][break] "So. What have you been up to? How was your day?"

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] Ashley Shepard

☉

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Ash

He/Him/Them

December 2

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POSTED ON Oct 5, 2023 22:34:20 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

========= TEN YEARS AGO =========

[break][break]

He walks through that diner now. In that memory, the way his younger self responds to Jay how his day was. He forgot how nice it was back then. How Jay was then. Before Rocket, before Theo, or Chu-E broke him. He finds himself turning away.[break][break]

This was before that harbor mission.[break][break]

He feels sick.[break][break]

==================

[break][break]

[break][break]

The warehouse was empty. Ash and Jay were dressed all black. He remembers one thing, a big Tyranitar that sat in the warehouse behind those men. A rememberance from a foster father, a scar that wouldn't heal. Silver eyes hold fear.[break][break]

Three goons around them, one Tyranitar. And Ashley looks to Jay, his hand shaking with the gun in hand. He hadn't killed yet by then. He wasn't like them.[break][break]

It shouldn't have been loaded.[break][break]

Part of him wondered if it was Jay. But he shakes that thought away. Even if it had been Jayden, it didn't change the situation. The past can't be changed. What happened... happened.[break][break]

"..."[break][break]

Quiet as a mouse, the cold sweat on Ash was all the more pressing. He didn't... he couldn't.[break][break]

But tonight, he would.

jayden cross[break][break]

NOTES

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jayden

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TAG WITH @jayden

POSTED ON Nov 14, 2023 5:24:24 GMT

Cillian Quinn and Chu-e Choi like this

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[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

It was easier back then. Simpler. Before THEO BECKETT had asked him to kill, before Cillian Quinn had saved him, before Chu-e Choi had broken him.

[break][break] Back then, with a world so small that he could find himself lost, Jayden hadn't known any better.

[break][break]
[break][break]

He had killed before.

[break][break] Dmitri had made sure of it. Even long before THEO BECKETT had asked him to kill a pokemon, Jayden knew the taste of death. The metallic taste of blood was basically on the roof of his mouth.

[break][break] Violet eyes shifted towards his friend's trembling grip.

[break][break] Then he reached for him, gently. The gun fell into his grip.

[break][break] Easy.

[break][break] Bang. Bang. Bang.

[break][break] The three goons, shot down.

[break]

[attr="class","ooc"] Ashley Shepard

☉

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Ash

He/Him/Them

December 2

Aspertia City, Unova

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POSTED ON Nov 14, 2023 21:42:19 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

========= TEN YEARS AGO ==========

[break][break]

The blood splatters. Silver eyes looked on at the three. They had once lived. Now, fallen. Cadavers to be hidden in a bodybag. Jay had done it for Ashley. And what happened next... best left to the imagination.[break][break]

Lots of retching filled the warehouse... that was Ash's first taste of death. The smell of bile. Jubilee could do nothing to help him through it.[break][break]

It was the first time Ash had ever... felt uncertain. Before then, THEO BECKETT 's abuse was just as bad as his many foster dads. Nothing Ashley couldn't bounce back from. But there was a twisted respect. How no one could boss Theo Fucking Beckett around, that Ashley wanted. Wanted more than anything. To push back. He wanted to be like Theo. And with Jay by his side, he felt he could do that.[break][break]

Then he was forced to kill... but Jay was there.[break][break]

========= NINE YEARS AGO ==========

[break][break]

The worst had come.[break][break]

He's sixteen now.[break][break]

Ashley winces at the memory, the thought of it coming back haunting him. The part of him that was broken by abuse. It was there, in his own insanity, where he held the bit of the mirror, the broken shattered mirror that he held out for himself. It's sharp. It's stained red. His arms are bandaged and stained. He couldn't look at himself anymore.[break][break]

"After she died..." he begins, staring down at the boy who was so close, on the edge. With pity.

jayden cross [break][break]

NOTES

- VIBE, NEXT SONG...[break]
- TW: A lot of dark material here... you've been warned.[break]
- Never having killed before... young Ash does not take to it very well.[break]
- A year after that... Jubilee dies by Ash's hand. It's over. Ash is holding a shard of a mirror, one he broke himself. And stares at the red-stained glass.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

[attr="class","ashley1credit"]

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jayden

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POSTED ON Nov 18, 2023 8:07:41 GMT

THEO BECKETT likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

Killing people were easy. Killing pokemon were harder.

[break][break] Thanks to THEO BECKETT, Jayden had learned that at a criminally young age. He still could remember the feeling of matted blood that had soaked his Eevee's coat, still remember the splash of red on his face when he'd hit an artery. The feeling of the knife in his trembling grip, the glimmer of steel that flashed his horrified look.

[break][break] But it had been for his own good. He had needed to do it.

[break][break] He wasn't sure why pokemon made his heart bleed more than humans did.

[break][break]
[break][break]

"Ash..."

[break][break] Softly, he says back to the boy. Glancing up at those ardent eyes that made his heart quicken.

[break][break] he reached for the other's grip in the broken mirror, his own bloodied hands covering Ash's. His own wrists were freshly bandaged, nearly unraveling with red.

[break][break] "It'll be okay."

[break][break] 'It's for Rocket. For the power of Rocket.'

[break][break]

[attr="class","ooc"] Ashley Shepard

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Ash

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December 2

Aspertia City, Unova

Pansexual

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POSTED ON Dec 4, 2023 4:36:10 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

========= TEN YEARS AGO ==========

[break][break]

In that regard, they had been similar. Jubilee's death had been the first real death that Ashley had ever felt. That had reverberated so hard to his very core. Seeing that part of himself, false bandages to appear fine, dyed red in their facade. Fallen at the edge of society, sharper than any knife... who knows where they landed?[break][break]

Even as Jay grips the hand holding the mirror, to soothe him in the moment, but that edge was what split them apart.[break][break]

"Jay... I can't do this anymore..." Pity sharpens that refractal blade further, inches away. Cowardice dulls it, unable to connect.[break][break]

That's when...[break][break]

The head turn down the hall of his own mind. The memories of the growing Ash. The perfect Rocket. A facade, a mask, cracked at every edge, placed on the face to be the perfect tool. The lapdog named Sawyer. A name he scowls at now, so much now. As he takes each step forward, he can see images of himself, dragging down the hall the three targets Theo asked for him at seventeen. Each mission, silver eyes dull with each success. A step closer, an inch further. All it would take is a push, and he'd never be here.[break][break]

========= FOUR YEARS AGO ==========

[break][break]

Twenty-one was a triple seven. Goes to show how shit his luck really was. Walking on, walking on... there he is. Bag on his back, green jacket and everything. Hair was up too. He began to walk towards the exit of their Kanto HQ. A traitor.[break][break]

No one would have missed me. Except you. His eyes turn towards the exit. As do the newly adult Ashley's. Silver eyes staring with pain at the sight before him.[break][break]

"Jay." Ashley doesn't need to see his younger's facial expression to know what he looks like right now. The only person between himself, and the exit. The only thread that tied him to Rocket now, the only thing keeping him on stable footing at Rocket.[break][break]

"I'm leaving." the younger Ashley says.

jayden cross[break][break]

NOTES

- VIBE, FINAL SONG[break]
- TW: A lot of dark material here... you've been warned.[break]
- As the memory after Jubilee's death washes over older Ashley... the walk down memory lane, the blur of the next five years goes by...[break]
- Until Sawyer the Rocket, 21, is about to leave Kanto Rocket for good. He sees the only person blocking his path. Final Song plays.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

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POSTED ON Dec 4, 2023 4:54:05 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

"To go home? I'll go with you."

[break][break] This version of Jayden doesn't know it yet, the heartbreak that he's about to incur.

[break][break] His expression is hopelessly as blank as it always is, head tilted to the side, as he stands in the doorway that is the single exit for Ashley Shepard's master plan.

[break][break] The plan that he doesn't know about.

[break][break] A hand is offered, splayed outward. Holding hands, like they used to when they were kids.

[break][break] "Father's training tired me out, so I could use an excuse to - " He isn't sure what it is, or why he does it, but he suddenly looks up. The expression on his friend's face is daunting.

[break][break] "... Ash?"

[attr="class","ooc"] Ashley Shepard

☉

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Ash

He/Him/Them

December 2

Aspertia City, Unova

Pansexual

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POSTED ON Dec 4, 2023 5:08:53 GMT

shiv likes this

[nospaces]

[attr="class","ashley1"]

[attr="class","ashley1body"]

========= FOUR YEARS AGO ==========

[break][break]

Piercing silver eyes... the mirror's edge that night had split them apart. Each a side of the mirror now. Standing in opposition now, but even as Ashley knows what he wants to do, he hesitates. The older Ash reaches for his carton of cigarettes. He knows what's coming.[break][break]

"No, Jay. I'm leaving Kanto." Sulky silver eyes betray confidence, but a hand pushes the offered one away, the other tightens his resolve on his bag strap.[break][break]

Some time, in those long, long years as Sawyer, Ashley lost Jayden. And now, seeing the result of him becoming a Rocket to begin with, he would live with that guilt for the rest of his life. He was the monster, that looked away. He let declan walsh win. Sawyer didn't care about anyone back then. Sawyer didn't care for anyone now.[break][break]

That Ash cared about that Jay though. If tear-pricked eyes didn't give that away already from the younger one here.[break][break]

"Nobody will miss me."[break][break]

Hypocrisy from trembling lips, trepidation freezing the heart, and subduing it. The break was coming. Older Ash knows there's only one way to cut that tie. Younger Ash is too naive to want that ending now.[break][break]

"Thanks for being my friend, Jay." A smile forged upon the warped steel of heartbreak. A love, lost and never to resurface. By whatever means that may be.[break][break]

A mistake that haunts me to this day.

jayden cross[break][break]

NOTES

- VIBE, FINAL SONG[break]
- Ashley watches the Traitor of Rocket be born from that night. He's about to leave, and betray. It was in his nature. He was no Rocket.[break]
- Now. Or then.[break]
- Lying to himself... nobody will miss him. Young Ash thanks Jay for being his friend. On the edge... Older Ash knows where it's going.

[attr="class","ashley1pkmn"]

[attr="class","ashley1credit"]

MADE BY GUNSMILE

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played by

milky

jayden

he/him

december 25

ballonlea, galar

bisexual

wyndon ceo

admin

5'10" height

we'll never get free, lamb to the slaughter

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POSTED ON Jan 17, 2024 14:57:34 GMT

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[attr="class","jaytop"]

[attr="class","littlejay"]

"You're... what?"

[break][break] Ice ran cold through Jayden's veins. His eyes widened into slivers of violet.

[break][break] "What are you talking about?"

[break][break] His voice grew quiet.

[break][break] Jayden had heard about this before, in the stories that he heard mother and father discuss in the moments before bedtime, when they thought he wasn't listening. The disgust and betrayal in their voices when they talked about the idiotic nature of those who decided to leave, who decided to betray the only thing that they had to live for.

[break][break] 'Nobody will miss me.'

[break][break] "NO!" he let out a shout, stumbling forward in a panic. "What are you talking about, Ash? Come on! We can talk about this. I'm - I - I'm sure father can help you, if there's something that you want or need."

[break][break] He reaches for the other boy hurriedly, a mixture of love and confusion and desperation fever-bright in his eyes.

[break][break] "Don't do this Ash," he whispers. To me.

[attr="class","ooc"] Ashley Shepard

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played by

Kiwi

Ash

He/Him/Them

December 2

Aspertia City, Unova

Pansexual

Picking up the pieces

5'11'' height

But I, I will, go on howling and hollow

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