Peering through the grass, Howard saw nothing. Thank Arceus. If he had gotten attacked by an Igglybuff, it would've been time to throw in the towel and accept that it was time go home.

Realistically, it was best to go home. The shadows were lengthening, and darkness was growing as the sun sunk over the horizon. Nonetheless, he had to catch something. If he was going to participate more actively in Team Rocket, his team needed a major tune up. Atlas was already extremely powerful, but it was only one Pokémon. It and Shirley couldn't keep his team together forever.

Sparkle.

Howard turned around and let out a scream that was a mix of joy and fear.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit! Shred Zeppelin was going to be so fucking jealous of this one! Yamask were an archaeologist's fear and delight. They were tomb guardians and occasionally their masks offered insights into certain civilization! And this was one shiny!

"Hup!" Howard threw the ball towards the Yamask, before lunging towards it. "You're not getting out! I won't let you!" Reaching into his bag, Howard tied the ball shut with tape, twine, and whatever else he could get his hands on.

For the Yamask, this game was rigged from the start.

---

CATCHING THIS FUCKER

[attr="class","wildtemp"]

[attr="class","wildbgsaf"]

[attr="class","wildtitle"]A WILD SHINY ZUBAT APPEARED!

[attr="class","wildshiny"]

[attr="class","wildpkmnbox"]

[attr="class","wildpkmn"]

[attr="class","wildtab"]

[attr="class","wildtabox"] FEMALE	[attr="class","wildtabox2"] SPEED BOOST
[attr="class","wildtabox"]LEECH LIFE	[attr="class","wildtabox2"]POISON FANG
[attr="class","wildtabox"]AIR CUTTER	[attr="class","wildtabox2"]VENOSHOCK
[attr="class","wildtabox"]HYPNOSIS	[attr="class","wildtabox2"] ---

[attr="class","wildtag"]howard slayte

[attr="class","wildnote"] 3/4 WARDEN SAFARI BALLS REMAINING!

YOUR CAPTURE ATTEMPT WAS SUCCESSFUL!

"Stay in the ball... Damn you!" Howard wrapped the Yamask's Pokeball in enough rope, tape, and various other tools to shackle a battleship. Finally, he heard the ball click, and he let out a whoop as it captured. Man, he was going to be the coolest archaeologist on the block! Shiny Pokemon were super rare! Maybe this Yamask would have some new information within its mask!

Maybe Howard could write another paper. Ooooh, the grant money would roll in!

"I'm gonna be RICH!" Howard threw up his arms, unaware that he had just thrown the Yamask's Pokeball down a hill. His eye opened and he let out a little 'eh?' as the ball rolled away. "COME BAAAAAACK!"

He chased the ball down the hill, only to have his vision engulfed in green as a Zubat ran into him. Shiny! "Outta my way, bat!" Howard snarled, slamming a Pokeball into the Zubat as he ran past.

---

CATCHING THIS ZUBAT

[attr="class","wildtemp"]

[attr="class","wildbgsaf"]

[attr="class","wildtitle"]A WILD SHINY MURKROW APPEARED!

[attr="class","wildshiny"]

[attr="class","wildpkmnbox"]

[attr="class","wildpkmn"]

[attr="class","wildtab"]

[attr="class","wildtabox"] MALE	[attr="class","wildtabox2"] PRANKSTER
[attr="class","wildtabox"]WING ATTACK	[attr="class","wildtabox2"]TORMENT
[attr="class","wildtabox"]SUCKER PUNCH	[attr="class","wildtabox2"]TAUNT
[attr="class","wildtabox"]BRAVE BIRD	[attr="class","wildtabox2"] ---

[attr="class","wildtag"]howard slayte

[attr="class","wildnote"] 2/4 WARDEN SAFARI BALLS REMAINING!

YOUR CAPTURE ATTEMPT WAS SUCCESSFUL!

"GET BACK HERE, YAMASK! MY PAPER AWAITS!" Howard continued his lunge deeper into the Safari Zone. The ball rolled into a thickly wooded section, and Howard was forced to crash through the underbrush in order to chase after the Yamask's Pokeball.

As he broke through the brush, Howard's vision was engulfed by pink as something crashed into him. A Venomoth, maybe? It was irrelevant. He needed to catch up with that Yamask.

Pushing the strange pink creature out of the way, Howard continued deeper and deeper into forest.

He was already envisioning the papers he would write. Man oh man, Archaeology Annually was going to love his next article. With the money he'd get, maybe he could afford to get some more Pokeballs. Oh, or he could get an ancient crown that was going up for an underground auction! There were so many choices!

---

SKIPPING

Howard was breathing heavily by the time he caught the ball.

That was a bit surprising. Howard had always figured he was in pretty good shape from all the traveling he did. Maybe his poor finances for the past six years had done little to aid his physical ability. The body could only extract so many nutrients from dollar store ramen and aspirin after all. Shred had figured out the secret, but Howard? No.

"Gotcha!" Howard got the ball and began to meticulously unwrap all the tape and rope he had used to keep it secure. He kissed its now dirty surface. "Not to worry. You're safe now!"

Then, he felt something crawling down his back. Immediately, he let out a scream that the game warden could probably hear. Howard flicked the monstrosity away and ran screaming deeper into the Safari Zone. He was not dealing with creepy crawlies. No way no sir no how!

---

SKIPPING

He screamed his way into a cave. Hopefully the Safari Zone's warden would be able to find him despite that. Howard knew where he was. He always did. Nonetheless, it was best to have an escape route in case he was assaulted by something vicious, like a Patrat. Terrifying!

Reaching into his bag, Howard pulled out a flashlight. He shook the device in order to charge it, before pointing it in front of him. The light flicked on, and Howard let out a shriek.

There was a Deino sitting in front of him, munching on a bone. It didn't react to the light, and Howard silently cheered. As long as he was quiet, the Deino wouldn't react. It couldn't see him, after all. As long as he silently backed away... Wait. It was shiny! He could make some big bucks! As he reached for a ball, he stepped on a rock. Clatter.

Fuck.

The Deino lunged forward and nommed on Howard's arm like a Rage Candy Bar.

---

BREWING MENTIONING RAGE CANDY BAR
CATCH

[attr="class","wildtemp"]

[attr="class","wildbgsaf"]

[attr="class","wildtitle"]A WILD SHINY GIMMIGHOUL APPEARED!

[attr="class","wildshiny"]

[attr="class","wildpkmnbox"]

[attr="class","wildpkmn"]

[attr="class","wildtab"]

[attr="class","wildtabox"] GENDERLESS	[attr="class","wildtabox2"] RUN AWAY
[attr="class","wildtabox"]ASTONISH	[attr="class","wildtabox2"]TACKLE
[attr="class","wildtabox"] ---	[attr="class","wildtabox2"] ---
[attr="class","wildtabox"] ---	[attr="class","wildtabox2"] ---

[attr="class","wildtag"]howard slayte

[attr="class","wildnote"] 1/4 WARDEN SAFARI BALLS REMAINING!

YOUR CAPTURE ATTEMPT WAS SUCCESSFUL!

"GET. IN. THE. BALL." Howard smashed the Pokeball into the Deino's head multiple times before the ball opened up and sucked the beast inside. Howard sighed and deflated as he slunk against the floor. His arm ached something fierce. That Deino really had torn at his arm.

"I'm not a Slowpoke tail, c'mon..." Howard sighed as he reached into his bag and began binding the wound. Surviving in the wilderness was nothing. Accidents happened all the time. He used the last of his bandages and sighed. "Great. I'll need to get more back in Lilycove."

Either that or pillage the Team Rocket clinic. That was in Sootopolis, and Howard couldn't afford to fly directly there.

"Ey."

Howard continued wrapping the bandage.

"Ey."

Howard tied it up perfectly, and sighed.

"EY, LISTEN TO ME!"

"GUH!" Howard dropped the empty roll in shock and watched it roll away. "Who's there?" Howard asked, looking around with his light. Arceus above, that voice was like a nail on a chalkboard. It was tiny, too. "Where are you?"

"Down here." Howard looked down to see a tiny Gimmighoul. Wait, how was it talking? Was he hallucinating? Man, was his college life coming back to bite him? Howard shuddered. He saw how Shred Zeppelin argued with his Pokémon. Was he following in the wastrel's footsteps? Was he just marching towards degeneracy?

"Hey. Stop thinkin' about stupid shit! Here's what we're gonna do: you're gonna take me out of this backstreet shithole and out into the real world. Ever since that asshole Chester left me here, I've been scamming Deinos and Zubats! He stole my business, and I want revenge!"

What? Chester? "Am I hallucinating?"

"G-gimmighoul...?"

"Oh thank Arceus." Howard bowed his head, before yelping in pain as a coin hit his eye.

"Yes, I'm real! You're not hallucinating! Take me along, and I'll ensure you make the big bucks! Well, dollars. Billiam already got a ride out of here, lucky bastard. I need my own way out. Hey, c'mere, listen..." The Gimmighoul's voice got even quieter. "I've got this incredible investment. Gimmicoin. Once I introduce it to Hoenn... Hoo boy, I already crashed Almia's economy, shitter that it was. You're taking me along, got it?"

"B-Billiam?" Howard sputtered and sighed. "Fine, guess it can't hurt."

"You just made a good deal, my friend. Besides, Shiny Gimmighoul are super rare! Back in Paldea, they're shot and buried under this 'Shiny Lock' decree that got passed by the Council of Gimmighouls. Millions of bodies. Goes super deep. The stories I could tell you about the Slowpoke Tail Industry..."

Okay. Howard was losing his mind. "You're not shiny." The Gimmighoul looked IDENTICAL to a normal one. He could deal with talking Pokemon. Shinies? That was where he drew the line.

"I am!"

"You're not."

"Am!"

"Not, yeah. Ow!" Another coin hit Howard in the eye.

"Whatever. I'm getting in the ball. Thanks for the ride, capiche?" Donald D. Dollars entered the Pokeball, and Howard stared at it blankly. "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck..."

---

CATCH
BREWING: SLOWPOKE TAILS