power shifts but dynamics never change. esser is no stranger to rebuke, she welcomes it wholesomely. she finds a solace in the familiarity of her gut wrench, the twist of knots that stem from improper posture of her prostrating at his feet. the pressure builds, clawing, screaming. esser does not cry just because it burns. she cries because she's a disappointment. and that's what hurts most of all.

"i'm sorry."

straight to the point, there's nothing more to be said. she won't try to justify the results of her actions, that'd be a waste of his time. but she cannot promise it won't happen again. she knows better than to make commitments she can't keep. she refuses to lie to straight to his face. her earlier animosity at being roped into an operation against her will is starting to resurface. it reverberates after each of his words.

SILAS BLACKWELL

"i'm sorry."

again. it's all she knows. only with his permission, as indirect as it is, does she pick herself up, straightening out her skirt before addressing her face. tears and run off soak into her gloves. she'll wash it later before it starts to crust. it's a practice esser's is more than familiar with.

"an officer showed up. he must have heard them using my name."

that's why she took the brunt of the blame. it wasn't that the three of them were wanted-- it was just her. only her name was plastered on every new's bulletin. but, was it really her fault? to her, yes. that's her job, to be the blame that soaks up her brother's anger. anything else would lead to rocket thinning out their ranks way too quickly.

"i messed up."

SILAS BLACKWELL

"..."

she's hesitant. esser can only guess the repercussions. still, she defaults to her only loyalty: her brother.

"leia and dorothy."

goosebumps prick at her skin. an involuntary reaction to the words that comes from his mouth. she knows the punishment well. no matter his methodology it always hurts. she can never brace herself enough for the pain that comes. it's scathing. but nothing hurts more than knowing she let him down. that is a pain that strikes at her heart. it makes her want to die.

"i'm sorry."

SILAS BLACKWELL

"i understand."

she can never brave herself to take her eyes off the floor. the idea of the invasion still lingers on her mind. she's scared. sh'e's not ready but for her brother she'll do anything. even die. she swallows, fearing what is most likely going to happen. they're going against the league's best and esser is no where close.

it's times like these that she truly misses her mother.

SILAS BLACKWELL