You can't say you're particularly happy to be here.

Seriously. Why can't these intellectual types ever ask your help for normal science stuff, like doing egg drops, or making baking soda volcanoes? They always want you to fight a giant whale, or steal a generator, or do some other insane thing. Like, for instance, going out to Mount Chimney in the middle of a raging blizzard.

Somehow, it's both too hot and too cold at the same time. You are simultaneously overdressed and underdressed for the extreme conditions. The sweat dripping from your face is freezing to your skin. One minute your boots are slipping on ice, and the next they're melting from the heat. And none of that is even mentioning the lava, which is really just the burning icing on this frigid cake. Even someone like you, who knows next to nothing about meteorology nor mountaineering, can tell how fucked this is.

And that's about all you can tell. Not for lack of trying, mind, you'd more than eager for an explanation to this madness. Alas, your "partner" on this expedition doesn't seem particularly interested in verbalising any of her findings. So, you're really just standing here, waiting for her to get bored and finish up so you can leave. Speaking of which...

"Are you done yet?"

---

Xenon Antheil

"I get that it's important, alright?" You clarify, crossing your arms as you raise an eyebrow. "But my fingers are important too, and they're getting frostbit AND burnt. Can't we just take a quick break? Head back to base camp, get some protective gear, stuff like that? I think..."

You trail off. She's started rambling, and if she's rambling, then she's not listening. So, you make the smart choice and save your breath. Maybe you can at least learn something from the deluge of words pouring out of her mouth? You try your best to glean some wisdom from her ravings, but it's an uphill battle. As soon as she starts talking about killing people, your ears go numb. Or is that because you're out in extreme cold without so much as a woolly hat to warm them? Hard to say, hard to say...

But your zoning out session is cut short by the distant rumbling growing louder. Louder? No, maybe it would be more accurate to say closer. Is the volcano erupting? No, if it was, you'd surely be drowning in lava right now. So then, an avalanche? No, then you'd just be drowning in snow instead. But if it's not either of those, then what could it even be?

CRACK! The ground beneath your feet sinks a little. Then a little more. Then a little more. Then, it collapses entirely.

Then, you begin to fall.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--"

---

Xenon Antheil

Ow... Ow... Ow...

As you lay there, staring up at the shining ceiling of Tera Crystals forming above you, you curse under your breath. Fucking hell. Nothing can ever be simple, can it? Doesn't matter if its easy things or hard things, they all have to be complex. Tch. Well, you suppose it could be worse. Sure, your body might hurt like shit, but at the very least, you're not dead.

Not yet, anyway. But if you want to keep not being dead, then you'll probably need to get out of here sooner rather than later. Oxygen deprivation and hypothermia and all that. But how to do that? Your first instict is to dig, which might work, if you weren't on Mount Chimney. Yeah, no, even an idiot like you knows that a volcano isn't the place to be tunnelling all willy-nilly. Not unless you want to get incinerated by lava, anyway.

...Oh, Xenon's awake, too. Well, it's technically her fault that you're in this mess, so maybe she'll have some ideas to get you out of it.

"We're in a cave." You groan in reply, not even bothering to look at her as you speak. "We're trapped, too. Even if we wanted to climb out, the hole's sealed up by those crystals. No other paths in or out, either, so... Yeah. We're fucked."

Unless...?

---

Xenon Antheil

"Of course I brought my Pokemon. But, uh, why'd you ask...?"

Your question is answered not by Xenon, but by the whirr of advanced engineering, the screech of scraping metal, and the echo of stomping feet. Great. A Paradox Pokemon, here and now of all times? You suppose it isn't unusual. After all, they do love to show up whenever there's Tera Crystals or Dream Mist about. So, you're not unlucky, just unfortunate. Not that the distinction makes it any less of a pain in the ass.

Oh well. When it rains, its pours, and right now, you're getting drenched. Nothing to do but to rush up to your feet and fight this mechanical freak. From a glance, it seems similar to a Tyranitar, but the shine of steel and the glow of neon tell you otherwise. Great. Had to be one of the robots, didn't it? You're sure that your accomplice is absolutely creaming themselves over that, but you're not going to bother checking. If you wanted to see that, you'd--

CRASH! A Rock Thrown causes your train of thought to derail, and with a loud exclamation of "SHIT!", you leap to cover. Okay then, if that's how he wants to play it? Then that's how you'll play it! After a moment of pondering who's the right 'mon for the job, you snatch a Pokeball off your belt and toss it out to face your foe.

And out comes your Hisuian Decidueye.

"Hm... So, you are to be my enemy?" The bird of prey examines his opponent with a interested disinterest. As though this is simply a target to eliminate, rather than an opponent to fight. After he takes a moment to take the machine's measure, the Decidueye lowers his head and narrows his eyes. "Very well."

With the formalities taken care of, the avian rushes forth, closing the distance between him and his target. Then, he turns his entire body, transferring momentum bone by bone before delivering a heavy kick straight to the core of the Iron Thorns. All the while, its eyes remain on the prize, the look of disinterested interest never waivering once, even for a second.

You sure have to admit, he's one Brave Bird.

---

Xenon Antheil