judas [past]

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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played by

dove

he / him
25
december 31
black city, unova
gay
bartender / thief
grunt
you let me
desecrate you
5'7" / 170 cm height
5'7" / 170 cm height
so sweet with a mean streak. cigarette daydream.
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128 posts
DAMIEN RUSSO DOLLARS
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TAG WITH @damien
DAMIEN RUSSO
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 24, 2023 2:18:32 GMT
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He went where he always did when he needed to be alone.[break][break]

The backend of some unkempt city park near his apartment — a quiet, if disheveled, retreat. Trees and brush had largely overgrown this particular area, giving some privacy for a stoic teenage to process his recent loss.[break][break]

Damien's legs dangled loosely over the side of a concrete culvert. Below him filthy water attempted to trickle past mounds of trash and debris. His eyes followed the slow movement, weaving past an empty beer can, a condom wrapper, a needle—[break][break]

Reflexively, Damien squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in his palms.





[break][break]

[attr="class","notes"]


[break]
CUT ONE'S LOSSES[break]
BLACK CITY, UNOVA [break]2017








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played by

gunsmile

Francis
he / him
31
September 19
Black City, Unova
bisexual
financial consultant
civilian
you let me
complicate you
5'11" / 180 cm height
5'11" / 180 cm height
Act as if you’re a wealthy man, rich already, and you will become rich.
awards
313 posts
Frank Caffey DOLLARS
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TAG WITH @frank
Frank Caffey
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 24, 2023 13:42:13 GMT
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After hearing what happened, Frank dropped everything and made his way to the Russo household. So urgent was his need to be at Damien's side that texting Jackie to tell her he'd be late coming home never entered his mind. [break][break]

He arrived to a whirlwind of emotional and physical chaos. The Russos were deep in their grief; he could barely get a word out of any of them. Eventually, however, he noticed Damien's absence from the house. [break][break]

Frank left and walked the familiar path to the overgrown park where he and Damien used to play as boys. [break][break]

"Damien," he called out as soon as he saw the figure perched on the culvert, head bowed. "Hey." [break][break]

Without waiting for a reaction, Frank sat down next to Damien and pulled the younger man into a fierce embrace. When he spoke again, his voice was strained with all the emotion of seeing his beloved friend in such a vulnerable state. [break][break]

"I'm so sorry."



TAGS[break]
NOTESmission | Black City, Unova, 2017


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played by

dove

he / him
25
december 31
black city, unova
gay
bartender / thief
grunt
you let me
desecrate you
5'7" / 170 cm height
5'7" / 170 cm height
so sweet with a mean streak. cigarette daydream.
awards
128 posts
DAMIEN RUSSO DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @damien
DAMIEN RUSSO
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 24, 2023 21:10:56 GMT
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He'd know the sound of those fancy leather shoes anywhere — too nice for this part of town now. There was only one person like that who was aware of the little culvert at the back of the park.[break][break]

. [break][break]

Damien didn't even turn to face him, but his friend would still be able to see the state of him regardless: hollow, numb, with eyes that were dulled and unfocused, staring back again at the water below.[break][break]

"...Leave me alone, Frank." Damien managed to mutter into the older man's chest after being pulled into his embrace. He didn't try to flinch away, fully expecting his demand to be followed. Surely Frank knew he just needed some time.[break][break]

"I just want to be by myself right now."





[break][break]

[attr="class","notes"]


[break]
CUT ONE'S LOSSES[break]
BLACK CITY, UNOVA [break]2017








[attr="class","credit1"]











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played by

gunsmile

Francis
he / him
31
September 19
Black City, Unova
bisexual
financial consultant
civilian
you let me
complicate you
5'11" / 180 cm height
5'11" / 180 cm height
Act as if you’re a wealthy man, rich already, and you will become rich.
awards
313 posts
Frank Caffey DOLLARS
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TAG WITH @frank
Frank Caffey
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 26, 2023 16:15:07 GMT
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Damien's request caused Frank to loosen his arms from around the other man, but only by a fraction. [break][break]

As the eldest of his siblings, Damien had always been tough. His acerbic personality and stubbornness were the products of having to grit his teeth and endure difficulties to ensure his siblings had what they needed. [break][break]

But Frank knew the softness that still existed in Damien. He'd grown up listening to Damien's worries and observing his vulnerabilities. No matter how much the boy darkened his beautiful face with a frown, he could not hide that part of himself from Frank. [break][break]

So Frank's hug only tightened. Lifting a hand, he began stroking Damien's black hair in a soothing gesture. [break][break]

"No one else is here. You're alone." [break][break]

It was unspoken permission to cry and feel weak. If Damien collapsed, Frank would bear him up.



TAGS[break]
NOTESmission | Black City, Unova, 2017


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played by

dove

he / him
25
december 31
black city, unova
gay
bartender / thief
grunt
you let me
desecrate you
5'7" / 170 cm height
5'7" / 170 cm height
so sweet with a mean streak. cigarette daydream.
awards
128 posts
DAMIEN RUSSO DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @damien
DAMIEN RUSSO
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 26, 2023 21:43:38 GMT
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The tears didn't come immediately.[break][break]

Damien tried to be strong, like he always had to be. He was the oldest. The one responsible for his siblings' wellbeing when his deadbeat parents were gone. He couldn't show weakness or else it would just hurt everyone else.[break][break]

But he couldn't keep it in anymore, either. With Frank's permission, teardrops came unbidden and uncontrolled. Small sobs soon gave way to stifled wails. It didn't take long for his friend's expensive dress shirt to be soaked through.[break][break]

The pain was immense and foreign to , unlike anything he'd felt before in his seventeen years. There was a burning in his ribcage that threatened to implode in on itself. Every difficult breath was sharp and unfulfilling, like he'd never get enough oxygen again.[break][break]

I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this I can't do this
[break]

It hurt too much. [break][break]

How could he possibly get through this? [break][break]

The answer was right in front of him. He'd come when Damien needed him most.[break][break]

He clutched onto like a sinner begging for redemption. Any reprieve from this hell was good enough in the moment.[break][break]

"...Why Tommy, Frank?" Damien whimpered into Frank's chest, his voice hoarse from the crying.[break][break]

His little brother was only sixteen. Too young to die the way he did. How did this make any damn sense? [break][break]

"Why couldn't it have been one of the other million fucking junkies in this shithole city?"






[break][break]

[attr="class","notes"]


[break]
CUT ONE'S LOSSES[break]
BLACK CITY, UNOVA [break]2017








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played by

gunsmile

Francis
he / him
31
September 19
Black City, Unova
bisexual
financial consultant
civilian
you let me
complicate you
5'11" / 180 cm height
5'11" / 180 cm height
Act as if you’re a wealthy man, rich already, and you will become rich.
awards
313 posts
Frank Caffey DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @frank
Frank Caffey
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 27, 2023 14:00:22 GMT
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Frank had never heard cries like Damien's before. Damien sounded like a wounded animal, like something had ripped him apart from the inside. Frank didn't know how to feel hearing them; all he knew to do was hold Damien as hard as Damien was gripping onto him. [break][break]

His hand went from stroking the younger man's hair to rubbing his back. "I don't know," Frank murmured, genuinely not knowing what would comfort his friend. "I'm sorry." [break][break]

Even as he provided words and gestures of comfort, Frank could not help but notice the heat and weight of Damien's body pressed against his. It was more than pleasant; it was luxurious, a delicious sampling of an unlikely scenario he had silently desired for years. [break][break]

Frank's thoughts wandered, imagining a different situation where both men were pressed against each other in a different way. Naked skin, slick with sweat and other fluids. Fingers tangled together, his mouth pressed against the other's— [break][break]

Almost at once, Frank chided himself. Damien was in agony, in mourning. Fantasies of sleeping with his best friend were inappropriate at that moment. [break][break]

Of course, that did not stop Frank from pressing a soft kiss to the top of Damien's head.



TAGS[break]
NOTESmission | Black City, Unova, 2017


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played by

dove

he / him
25
december 31
black city, unova
gay
bartender / thief
grunt
you let me
desecrate you
5'7" / 170 cm height
5'7" / 170 cm height
so sweet with a mean streak. cigarette daydream.
awards
128 posts
DAMIEN RUSSO DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @damien
DAMIEN RUSSO
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 27, 2023 16:49:48 GMT
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"I don't know."
[break]

Yeah, of course not. There was no rhyme or reason to this sort of bullshit. It was just their luck — or lack of it. The Russo name felt fucking cursed most of the time.[break][break]

But what could be done? All he could do was buckle down and bear the pain.[break][break]

Damien knew that when he went home tonight that he'd need to put on a tough face. Crying like this was out of the question; he'd have to be the strong shoulder for his siblings that Frank was being for him right now.[break][break]

So he got it all out while he could. Wept more in the span of a few minutes than he'd ever had in his entire fucking life. And, eventually, his body gradually began to still in 's arms. The racking sobs mellowed into shallow, wet breaths. His shoulders stopped their shuddering. His iron grip slackened. [break][break]

But he didn't move right away. The warmth and security Frank provided in that moment was too comforting. Damien just wanted a little bit more time like this, before he had to face reality again.[break][break]

The kiss was what startled him enough to pull back. When he did, he looked down at what he'd caused.[break][break]

"...Fuck, my bad." He apologized quietly, not meeting his friend's eye.[break][break]

Damien reached out to try and smooth the damp, mascara-stained fabric that clung to Frank's chest, but it was a futile effort. The shirt was likely ruined.






[break][break]

[attr="class","notes"]


[break]
CUT ONE'S LOSSES[break]
BLACK CITY, UNOVA [break]2017








[attr="class","credit1"]











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played by

gunsmile

Francis
he / him
31
September 19
Black City, Unova
bisexual
financial consultant
civilian
you let me
complicate you
5'11" / 180 cm height
5'11" / 180 cm height
Act as if you’re a wealthy man, rich already, and you will become rich.
awards
313 posts
Frank Caffey DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @frank
Frank Caffey
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 28, 2023 13:29:24 GMT
Frank Caffey Avatar
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[attr="class","frank2"]
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A twinge of disappointment ran through Frank when Damien withdrew from the hug. He felt colder, bereft of the warmth of the other man's body. Still, he forced a chuckle at Damien's apology. [break][break]

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I have other shirts," Frank said reassuringly. [break][break]

Then he paused as his gaze fell upon Damien's tear-streaked face. What a shame, that such immense sorrow lined his youthful, handsome face. Frank wanted to take away all of Damien's pain and replace it with the usual sourness he found endearing. [break][break]

With the softness he was sometimes allowed to glimpse. [break][break]

Frank reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. "Here. Let me help you. Hold still." [break][break]

Cupping the boy's jaw and neck with one large hand, Frank carefully wiped at the wetness on Damien's cheeks, cleaning away the tears, runny mascara, and snot.



TAGS[break]
NOTESmission | Black City, Unova, 2017


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played by

dove

he / him
25
december 31
black city, unova
gay
bartender / thief
grunt
you let me
desecrate you
5'7" / 170 cm height
5'7" / 170 cm height
so sweet with a mean streak. cigarette daydream.
awards
128 posts
DAMIEN RUSSO DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @damien
DAMIEN RUSSO
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 28, 2023 19:10:42 GMT
DAMIEN RUSSO Avatar
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[attr="class","gunstempdamien"]
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After the crescendo of his breakdown, the previous numbness Damien had been feeling began to creep in again. There was no reprieve from the pain, apparently, just variations in its intensity.[break][break]

Would it be like this forever? Damien couldn't imagine he'd ever get used to his brother being gone, so this hopeless hurt was probably here to stay.[break][break]

At least it felt a little better with around. He'd known Tommy since they were all kids. So he understood, to some extent.[break][break]

"...You didn't have to come, ya know." [break][break]

Deep down, however, was glad he did. He appreciated the care, even if it felt like his friend was babying him a bit.[break][break]

Damien was more pliable in Frank's hand than he'd normally be. Usually, he'd be squirming away from the touch, lest it reveal too much to the older man. There was no resistance now, though.[break][break]

"But... thanks."







[break][break]

[attr="class","notes"]


[break]
CUT ONE'S LOSSES[break]
BLACK CITY, UNOVA [break]2017








[attr="class","credit1"]











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played by

gunsmile

Francis
he / him
31
September 19
Black City, Unova
bisexual
financial consultant
civilian
you let me
complicate you
5'11" / 180 cm height
5'11" / 180 cm height
Act as if you’re a wealthy man, rich already, and you will become rich.
awards
313 posts
Frank Caffey DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @frank
Frank Caffey
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 28, 2023 19:30:34 GMT
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[attr="class","frank2"]
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Frank shot Damien a knowing look. Even now, in the state he was in, the younger man attempted some semblance of toughness. Still, Frank thought him charming, especially since Damien was not pulling away. [break][break]

"I know. But you can't always be the one looking after people," the silver-haired man said as he folded up the handkerchief and tucked it back in his pocket. "Let me look after you sometimes, okay?" [break][break]

Once more, Frank's hand rested against Damien's cheek. Without thinking, he stroked the soft skin there with his thumb. Pale violet eyes lowered to the curve of Damien's mouth. Inexorably, he felt himself drawing closer. [break][break]

"You know I care about you a lot, don't you?" Frank murmured, mere inches from Damien's face. Heat flushed through him, from his ears all the way to his groin. [break][break]

And then, his heartbeat racing at the speed of sound, he pressed his lips against Damien's in a reckless, greedy act.



TAGS[break]
NOTESmission | Black City, Unova, 2017


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played by

dove

he / him
25
december 31
black city, unova
gay
bartender / thief
grunt
you let me
desecrate you
5'7" / 170 cm height
5'7" / 170 cm height
so sweet with a mean streak. cigarette daydream.
awards
128 posts
DAMIEN RUSSO DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @damien
DAMIEN RUSSO
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 28, 2023 21:06:17 GMT
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Though Damien wasn't used to this sort of attention from his longtime friend, he chalked it up to simple consolation in a moment of grief. The soft strokes to his cheek, the gentle, doting look in Frank's eyes. [break][break]

He cared. Damien knew that. He'd always known that. So it didn't seem that weird in the moment.[break][break]

liked feeling important to Frank, after all. [break][break]

But they'd never crossed the line between friend and something more. Not until now.[break][break]

When leaned in closer, Damien froze in place, unsure of what to do or even what was happening. Panic suddenly welled up in his chest, shooing away the earlier numbness.[break][break]

And then their lips met, causing him to hurriedly pull away. His usually pale cheeks were a damning shade of crimson.[break][break]

"The fuck are you doing, Frank!" Sirens blared in his ears, alarm bells went off, anger and confusion and anxiety intermixed.[break][break]

"What about—!" Holy shit, what the fuck was happening right now? [break][break]

"What about Jackie?!" And his kids? Why the fuck—[break][break]

...why the fuck was Frank trying to kiss him?[break][break]

"Man, screw this."[break][break]

It was too much of an emotional upheaval. So, as usual, Damien tried to run from it by attempting to shift around and stand up.








[break][break]

[attr="class","notes"]


[break]
CUT ONE'S LOSSES[break]
BLACK CITY, UNOVA [break]2017








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played by

gunsmile

Francis
he / him
31
September 19
Black City, Unova
bisexual
financial consultant
civilian
you let me
complicate you
5'11" / 180 cm height
5'11" / 180 cm height
Act as if you’re a wealthy man, rich already, and you will become rich.
awards
313 posts
Frank Caffey DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @frank
Frank Caffey
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 28, 2023 23:14:34 GMT
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Damien's reaction was expected, yet somehow, frustration laced the guilt that hammered through Frank. He stood when Damien stood, reaching out to grasp the boy's arm. [break][break]

"Wait, stop." A heavy sigh escaped his mouth as his face contorted in despair. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sprung that on you. It's just—I don't know how to put it in words. I've always really liked you, Damien." [break][break]

Gently, he tugged on the boy's arm, urging him to draw close again. [break][break]

"Jackie and I aren't, uh, on the best of terms right now," Frank admitted, for the first time. Tensions had been high between him and his wife for months now, but never to the point where he thought to talk about it. With anyone. [break][break]

"Listen, she doesn't matter right now. You matter." Frank looked imploringly at Damien. "You matter so much to me, and I just want to make you feel better. In whatever way I can."



TAGS[break]
NOTESmission | Black City, Unova, 2017


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played by

dove

he / him
25
december 31
black city, unova
gay
bartender / thief
grunt
you let me
desecrate you
5'7" / 170 cm height
5'7" / 170 cm height
so sweet with a mean streak. cigarette daydream.
awards
128 posts
DAMIEN RUSSO DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @damien
DAMIEN RUSSO
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 29, 2023 3:33:15 GMT
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Frank caught his arm and Damien had half a mind to aggressively yank away. Barely contained cuss words cut his tongue, begging to be thrown in the older man's face. But, somehow, he resisted the urge. Maybe because what came out of Frank's mouth next was so startling — and illuminating.[break][break]

"W-what—?" Damien turned back, planted on the spot by his friend's admission. [break][break]

"I've always really liked you, Damien."
[break]

Heat flushed from his cheeks down all the way to the back of his neck. His stupid fucking heart reacted without his permission, beating a mile a minute, while his hands balled into clammy, hesitant fists.[break][break]

With all these physical reactions came something else, too: a confusing mix of repulsion... and awful, dirty elation.[break][break]

"...Do you..." God, Damien couldn't meet Frank's eye. That pleading expression of his was too much. His words were overwhelming. [break][break]

So, Damien looked down, focusing instead on the mascara stains on Frank's shirt.[break][break]

"...Do you want a r-relationship with me or somethin'?" His faced burned red hot as he sputtered out the question between pinched lips.[break][break]

In Damien's naive, teenaged mind, there was no other explanation for Frank's actions. Why else would a friend — someone he'd known for so long, who he cared for, too — kiss him and say he liked him?









[break][break]

[attr="class","notes"]


[break]
CUT ONE'S LOSSES[break]
BLACK CITY, UNOVA [break]2017








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played by

gunsmile

Francis
he / him
31
September 19
Black City, Unova
bisexual
financial consultant
civilian
you let me
complicate you
5'11" / 180 cm height
5'11" / 180 cm height
Act as if you’re a wealthy man, rich already, and you will become rich.
awards
313 posts
Frank Caffey DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @frank
Frank Caffey
judas [past]
POSTED ON Dec 30, 2023 2:31:02 GMT
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Frank counted it a blessing that Damien hadn't immediately rejected him and stormed off into his house. Even though his parents weren't home, he was old enough to have the sense to call the police on Frank. Instead, Damien's stammered question filled Frank with a surge of hope. [break][break]

An elation to match the boy's own, though Frank's was dirty with conspiracy and lust. [break][break]

"I do, but it would have to be a secret," he said quietly, taking a step toward Damien when the other didn't come closer. His pleading look morphed into a tentative smile. [break][break]

One that faltered at the reminder of the reality in which they lived. "I need to sort things out with Jackie first, and you're not even eighteen yet. You know what people would say." [break][break]

Releasing Damien's arm, Frank cupped the boy's face once more with his hands, forcing Damien to look into his eyes. An uncharacteristic seriousness entered Frank's expression. [break][break]

"I don't want to see you hurt any more than you're hurting now. And if I had it in my power to take away this pain, then I would." Leaning down, he'd press another chaste kiss to the corner of Damien's mouth, if allowed. "I can at least give you this."



TAGS[break]
NOTESmission | Black City, Unova, 2017


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close tab

played by

dove

he / him
25
december 31
black city, unova
gay
bartender / thief
grunt
you let me
desecrate you
5'7" / 170 cm height
5'7" / 170 cm height
so sweet with a mean streak. cigarette daydream.
awards
128 posts
DAMIEN RUSSO DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @damien
DAMIEN RUSSO
judas [past]
POSTED ON Mar 2, 2024 2:59:43 GMT
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Unresisting, he allowed the older man to take him in his hands, forcing eye contact. Glossy and unsure, his eyes warily watched as Frank explained himself.[break][break]

Eventually, the reality of it all slowly started to sink in. And what Damien realized was something that had been locked inside the deepest depths of his heart, unspoken and shoved down at every reminder. [break][break]

had never liked Jackie. From the moment she'd taken 's attention away from him when they first started dating, he'd resented her for it. They were a shitty fit for one another, anyway. You could just tell they fought all the time. Why else was Frank over at Damien's so much? To get away from a crappy relationship, obviously.[break][break]

Yeah. They weren't right for each other. She didn't know Frank like he knew Frank. Didn't grow up with him. Hadn't been there through all the good shit and the bad shit in their lives.[break][break]

Of course was coming to him now that he was older, reasoned. He wanted to help. He wanted to be there for him. To care for him at his lowest, in ways deeper than he ever had before. [break][break]

Had Frank been suppressing himself too? [break][break]

"Frank..." Damien's voice wavered as much as his resolve. [break][break]

He allowed the kiss to the corner of his mouth and even turned his head slightly toward the touch, unsure but unwilling to beat back the swelling of emotion building in his chest.[break][break]

"We... we shouldn't..."










[break][break]

[attr="class","notes"]


[break]
CUT ONE'S LOSSES[break]
BLACK CITY, UNOVA [break]2017








[attr="class","credit1"]











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