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"Well, if it's your treat, I think I'll just get a small something." [break][break]

Soyeon sat back down with a dark mocha roast in her hand and munching on two chocolate cookies with a pleased expression painted on her face. She was in heaven, the best cafe brand of her favorite treat, all for her! It was almost hard to believe that Ms. Fell here was willing to treat her to this kind of thing on a first meeting, especially when she was a potential customer. Maybe they did this in marketing and sales? Free food was always appreciated. [break][break]

Vacoule was resting in her arms once again, the baby Bulbasaur having been munching on some food of his own. He was still small enough to be in his "older child" years in terms of maturity, and Soyeon did also tend to baby him. After being seated at the table along Ms. Fell, the scientist set the Bulbasaur on the countertop alongside her drink and cookies. [break][break]

"Thank you for the treats, Ms. Fell." Soyeon sat, already halfway finished with her mocha drink. "I've been eating a lot more than usual lately. Just because of what happened..." she offered, opting not to go too much into detail about why exactly she had been interested in that strange little machine that the woman had offered so freely. [break][break]

"WHich leads me to my request. I was hoping it could help..." [break][break]

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“One small something, comin’ right up.”

Once the small somethings had been procured, she slid back into her seat-- as much as she could, what with the Ninetails draped around the chair legs. She had her own white chocolate espresso and sausage sandwich in hand, pulling the english muffin up to remove the flat egg and drop it to the floor, where it was snapped up in waiting jaws.

“Alopex, could you-- thanks.”

The air warped slightly with a faint lavender tinge, just pale enough to make people think it a trick of the light, as the safeguard went up around their little nook-- just a layer of added protection against any wandering ears. More for Soyeon’s benefit than anything else, because Fell’s Memory Management (though she hadn’t had the title, at the time) had been certified from an online service in Paldea to be a real and legit form of medical care, for a small fee.

“You’re welcome,” she said, turning her attention to Soyeon, and giving her a small, but genuine, smile. “That’s not a bad thing! Eating is good for you, you know.”

She fell silent as Soyeon talked, then leaned forward to fill in the silent pause.

“I think I can help. But that’s why I invited you here, because I want to make sure you really want this.” She held up a placating hand. “I’ll say right off the bat, I joke about it, but there’s no actual brain-surgery involved. No incisions. I’m not… cutting into your skull, or anything wacky. Think of it as… an intense form of psychotherapy.” She sipped her drink. “But the idea is that whatever memories you want gone will be well and truly gone. No going back. So be very sure that’s what you want.”

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Eating chocolate was good for you? That explained the delicious taste! She shoveled another wide bite of chocolate cookie into her mouth while taking a small piece of PokeSnack for Vacoule and letting him have some as well. The Vulpix Ana brought with her cast a shield for any wandering ears for their added benefit. Soyeon fully knew the risks of a service like this, and was willing to go through with it. Anything to get a decent night's sleep at this point. [break][break]

The thought of the cold, steel room, the sudden, piercing pain, even the face of him was terrifying to go through, even after a month. Fear began to swell and cause Soyeon to grip her drink a little tighter. EVen her eyes showcase the brief dip in primal fear that had resurfaced for all but a few seconds, then exhale with her brows furrowed together. [break][break]

"I'll take whatever I can get. From what I've heard, I was expecting something akin to a complete brain transfer." Soyeon tried to joke while messing about in her seat. "It's an awful feeling, just...not being able to function at times. In my line of work, I can't really afford to make mistakes if they're reoccurring. A scientist needs a clear mind, y'know?" [break][break]

Sure, Soyeon did leave off the part about who she was a scientist for, but such was her duty as a (unwilling) member of Rocket. [break][break]

"How soon can you perform this? I'd rather do it sooner rather than later. Money and time isn't an issue for me." [break][break]

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She was of a mind that there were two sorts of food: food that was good for your body, and food that was good for your mind. Chocolate was good for your mind. It made you happy.

She fought against the raise of one eyebrow as she watched the telltale signs pass through Soyeon’s body: the way her face twitched, the way her fingers tightened around her drink. She wanted to reach out a hand but thought better of it, fussing with the corner of the wrapping on her sandwich instead.

“Yeah, I get that.” She huffs a laugh. “Well, I don’t, anymore. That’s the point. But I remember it being bad enough to where I was practically catatonic. So I get it.”

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, in another lifetime, she’d been a Rocket, too. But that little girl was dead, and she’d pulled ingredients from her corpse for the facade she portrayed today.

“I can do it whenever you’re ready. I’ll walk you through a little of the process now.” She shifted in her chair to lean on the table. “Essentially, I hook you up to a big computer piloted by my Rotom, Gardevoir, and Porygon. It maps your brain. Everyone’s is a little different, but we isolate the memory by reliving it. That’s the painful part-- you have to focus on it in extreme detail.” She puts a hand on her chest. “The whole theory hinges on the Pokemon move disable, which makes it impossible for your Pokemon to use moves it shares with the disabling ‘mon. I theorized it worked on knowledge, and not the move itself, and I was right. When I did it, I used my Iron Valiant as a medium. Then, once we shared the memory-- kind of-- I went in and disabled it. That highlights it in the brain, as a blocked path. Then we use a little psychic spay hook and whisk! Flick it out of there.” She demonstrated with a twitch of her wrist. “With no pathways to access it, adrift from everything, it stops existing as a memory. It’s well and truly gone. The next step is to fill in the blank-- I used songs for most of mine, or movie scenes. The trouble is you have to pick something that doesn’t have strong connotations-- or has extremely strong connotations to the positive-- otherwise you have to go even further back and do more pruning, and on and on. But if we leave it empty, you won’t remember the memory, but you’ll know something’s missing.”

After a beat, she sighed. “Sorry. It’s a lot. But I don’t want to mess in anyone’s mind without extreme consent.”

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Soyeon took a long sip as Ms. Fell explained in great detail about how the procedure would go. It was a nice overview, although some part of her was anxious about the entire idea. She would effectively have to go through that same scenario again in order to rid herself of it. That same nightmarish day that she had vowed to never experience again. The news was enough for her to nearly pop the cap of her mocha off by exhibiting enough force behind her grip. But it would be worth it. [break][break]

When Ms. Fell finished, Soyeon put down her now finished drink on the counter top, tongue twisting around her mouth to savor the precious lingering taste of bitter chocolate. [break][break]

"You seem to be knowledgeable about technology such as this, Ms. Fell." Soyeon smiled at the blonde, leaning back into her seat after some moment of hesitation. Vacoule had noted his trainer's emotional state and slowly wrapped a growing vine around her upper right arm. It was enough to help reign her mind. Some part of her hesitated to face her fears again, but the other was desperate to get over her fear of being seen as a rock for the higher ups to kick around. [break][break]

"Then it's settled, I'll do it the moment that you're available." The scientist looked at Ms. Fell for some kind of reassurance but forced herself to looked at least somewhat helpful. "I'll give you my consent. Do whatever it takes. I don't care what gets chopped off, I just need the memory gone." [break][break]

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As its creator, she knew exactly how dangerous this technology was. People could use it in the wrong ways, easily. She thought about freya morningstar-- thought about what it was like to be unmade, at your own hands or the hands of someone else, and knew that, whomever came her way for this procedure was placing a lot of trust in her. Trust to not abuse the tech and wipe their mind, but also trust with their memories, their feelings, their emotions.

She’d not yet gotten to experiment-- practice-- on someone not herself. But she’d already promised to go back in and clean everything up, get rid of it in her own mind, so that she wasn’t walking around with a bunch of people’s deepest, darkest secrets. That was too much power in too many ways.

“Well, I made it, so I know a lot about it, yeah.” She shrugs, spinning her mostly empty coffee-cup on the table. “I don’t want you to think I’m, like, brilliant, or anything. This tech didn’t come about as anything other than a necessity. It was either Eternal Sunshine myself or off myself, you know?”

Soyeon stayed resolute in her decision, and that was all that was needed.

“Understood. I’ll need a few days to get the computer up and running. In the meantime, you can pick things you want filling in the blanks. Songs, movie scenes, book quotes, whatever. Why don’t we say… day after tomorrow?” She scribbled something on a napkin with a pen she found in her pocket, and slid it across the table. “I, uh, don’t have business cards yet, because I just came up with a name while we were sitting here. But this is the address. There’ll likely be a crotchety looking Venusaur in the front yard. Just knock, and we’ll get down to it, yeah?”

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"I can't say I understand why you created such a thing..." Soyeon didn't appear too thrilled by that last comment about Ms. Fell's own reasons for creating such a frightening yet useful contraption such as this. She had a hunch that nobody would wake up and just create something like this in the spur of the moment. There would always be a reason behind everything, and the mere mention of such was something that did unnerve her more often than not. Maybe it was the concept of an end to her own natural life and not just everything, but it did cause her some anxiety. [break][break]

"Regardless, I'm happy that you're here now with me. As both a customer and a fellow human." Soyeon said, slowly sliding her hand to poke at Ms. Fell's. She did her best to try and support her, as the scientist offered a warm smile. "I think you're also not giving yourself enough credit for something like this. It was done for a personal reason, but not everybody is going to just be able to figure out how to do this by just waking up one day. So don't try and sell yourself short." It really was a truly marvelous thing Ms. Fell had created on her own, and Soyeon wanted to ensure that she'd continue to think of it was such respect on its namesake. [break][break]

"The day after tomorrow will work for me. I'll be able to take a day off from my duties and get what I'll want to replace the memory with in that time. It shouldn't be too hard to find things that we'll be able to replace it with. But I did have one other question..." Soyeon said, hesitating somewhat. Her right thumb gently slid down the side of the cup in worry. "Will you be able to see the memory yourself?" [break][break]

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“That’s just it, isn’t it?” she said, leaning back to drape one arm-- her flesh arm-- over the top rail of her chair. “You kinda do. You have a memory that’s so horrible, in one way or another, that you want it out of your head. By any means necessary.”

Soyeon reached across the table and poked a finger into a metal wrist, gloved and covered. Huffing a laugh, she scrubbed across her face. “Thanks. But I’m just an ol’ grease monkey. Just a demon who goes along with hell as far as she can.”

She crinkled up the paper wrapping for her sandwich.

“I will. When I did it with Rose-- my Valiant-- it was… more challenging than it needed to be, simply because of the difference in species. Using me as a human medium will be easier on your mind.” She winces a bit at the memory of harsh, jagged cuts, lingering migraine. “But I can promise you, I do not care.” She wrinkles her nose, considering. “That sounds harsh. What I mean is, consider me like a therapist. You are at liberty to share things with me and I am honorbound to keep them secret. That, plus, I have enough skeletons in my own closet that I’m not about to run off and tattle and put everything I’ve been working on at risk.”

She crosses her legs, metallic foot whirring a bit as it bounces off her knee. “In addition, as soon as the process is done and you’re stable enough to leave, I’ll go in and rototill your memory out of me. So it’ll be gone for good. My mind is full enough as it is for… ten months of memory. I don’t want anything extra sticking around.”

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The process seemed straightforward enough to Soyeon, enough so that she was ready to go then and there. The key detail of where the memory went once it was out of her head was what caused her to stop and consider what she was getting herself into. Would it be some kind of mistake to admit what this was for? Ana could still run, tell the cops about the admission and off she was, one arrest of a Rocket scientist later. No doubt her employers would be too happy about her capture, and Arceus knows what they would do as a result. But at the same time, Ms. Fell deserved to know what she was in for. The human inside of her clashed against the desire to avoid confrontation like this, but in the end, she relented. [break][break]

”I…You've been honest with me, so the least I could do is to return the favor.” Soyeon's eyes went to the barrier around them, granting them privacy, then to the Ninetails just around Ms. Fell's legs. Her eyes fell to the table as she kept her voice low. A moment passed of no response, hesitation setting in. Was she really going to do this to herself? To break the view she had made Rocket? She had to. There was no going back. [break][break]

”I killed somebody I knew.” Soeyon's fingers clutched the empty coffee cup as her soft voice lost its previous charm. What remained was a serious tone with a healthy dose of ”I was given an ultimatum. It was them or me, and I ended their life…w-with my own hands. I wrapped my hands around their throat and just…” She paused, chewing on her bottom lip. The grip on the coffee cup had caused the cup to suddenly pop, sending the white plastic lid onto the floors below. Vancouver had taken notice and moved to nuzzle against Soyeon's arm while she kept her gaze low. ”I didn't see their face, but I heard their cries, the air leaving their throat, even feeling their pulse slow down. It's haunted me ever since.” [break][break]

She took a moment to compose herself, slowly reaching down to collect the lid that had popped off and placing it back onto the counter. ”Are you sure you're willing to experience this yourself?” [break][break]

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It was just mad scienc-y enough that it made sense. And it worked-- she was living proof of that.

She tilted her head, blonde hair falling to the side as she listened to Soyeon’s quiet admission. And after the weighty words had been spoken, she kept her face blank, and reached down to pick up the dropped coffee lid.

Her heart hurt for Soyeon. But her battle was not with the cruel powers-that-were that made murdering your acquaintances requirements for joining the club. She had enough mental defenses in place to stop that from happening, to stop from joining up in arms to protect every downtrodden, depressed, suicidal wreck that washed up on her beach.

Her job was not to protect Soyeon or to get revenge on the people who wronged her. Her job was to put her in a place to continue living some semblance of a life that was better than the one she had right now.

She stacked the plastic lid on top of her own empty cup, then reached out a hand to gently pat Soyeon’s wrist.

“I'll be fine. Won't even phase me. Thanks for the heads up, though."

She debated telling the woman about her regular organ-harvesting habit, but figured that maybe wasn't the best topic to get into, given Soyeon was agreeing to be sedated in her basement.

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Soyeon felt Ana's hand make contact with her barren wrist. Her eyes gently fell onto the onto as the other woman's fingers rested on top of her limb. She remained silent for a moment, debating about whether or not she should go in depth about the nightmares and more, but pushing it aside. If Ana wasn't one to be affected by that warning about the murder, then she must have been steeled enough to do with the aftereffects. [break][break]

"Thank you. I haven't really told anybody else. I can't, for obvious reasons, b-but it's not something I can just tell anybody." A sniffled came from Soyeon's nose. She gazed into Ana's eyes with the look of desperation. She was at the end of her rope with how to deal with any of this and it showed. The circles under her eyes painted a picture far more revealing than any kind of explanation could have. "I just want to be able to have a good night's sleep for a change. I'm having somebody else force me asleep at this point because of the night terrors. But I'll be happy to gather whatever we need to make this happen." [break][break]

Vacoule shoved his head underneath one of Soyeon's hands as letting out another happy grunt. Out of habit, she began to rub at the rough skin of the Bulbasaur. His vines were still short, but they coiled around her wrist in a sign of enjoying the sensation. Soyeon was troubled over whether or not dabbling with her mind was a good idea in the long run, but nothing else had really worked thus far. So Ana was going to be her last hope. "How long have you been doing this sort of thing again?" [break][break]

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Soyeon looked to be warring with herself.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ll have to remember it in excruciating detail soon enough,” she said, with a kind smile, hoping that her rough sarcasm played the joke up enough to be caught. It wasn’t completely a joke-- if Soyeon wanted this memory gone, she was going to have to relive that memory, as much as possible. One last twist of the knife before her flesh is made steel and the weakness excised.

“I get you. Don’t worry. We’ll get you right.”

She doesn’t remember the demons that plagued her. That was on purpose.

“Um, well… bearing in mind that this whole started as a semi-suicidal off-the-cuff last-ditch effort to not kill myself, I first dipped into my mind… maybe eight months or so ago?” She ran a hand through her hair, swallowing a nervous laugh. “But when it worked I started perfecting it. At first I didn’t care what happened to me, so I was a lot less… careful. But when I realized I had a chance at life again, I took it more seriously. So the tech itself’s been ready for… er, consumer use, for maybe half a year or so.”

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It was going to be a shit day when it came time for her to relieve the memory that had been plaguing her for a while now. Soyeon had been fully expecting her to just carve out that memory like a slice of cake and remove it without any worry, and now here she was, being told she was going to have to go through that same horrifying memory. "I-If it will make the suffering stop..." Her expression turned grave for a moment while self-doubt had returned to anchor the woman to her tortured spirit. But if Ana could at least offer some kind of guidance, Soyeon would put on her bravest face and give this thing her all! "Then I'll do it." Yeah, that was the spirit! She could do this, especially with somebody who had done it countless times before! [break][break]

Except that Ana had only done it once more, and that was only really on herself. So she was going to be the deciding factor in if it was doable on others? It wasn't the most comforting answer that Soyeon could really hear right after she agreed to this little shindig. In fact, some could have called it the worst thing! But Soyeon was too far in to pull out now. All there was to do was to go forward and see things through. [break][break]

"I don't know whether that helped or harmed my opinion of this procedure, but you're brave for going through with this. Even in your position, I don't know any other person would go ahead with something of this nature. How did you figure out all the complexities of the human mind without cutting out something important?" [break][break]

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