[attr="class","illie i"]"i hope i get the opportunity to do just that," she murmurs. another ghost of a kiss peppered to skin previously pinched, as if the first one wasn't enough to quell some sense of satisfaction. it's a nice thought, really, to have that chance. to pick the brain of someone who understands what she's working on, to get opinions from someone unbiased by current expectations dashed or political warfare. and maybe she just might. only time will tell.

his observant nature is both a gift and a curse in most situations. he's grown accustomed to the shifts in her demeanor, perhaps more than she'd actually like. it's as easy as turning a page for him to see the cracks in whatever composure she's trying to wear that day. and it's even easier for him to ward them off as they come. "that's easy for you to say," she murmurs, body settling once his shifting is done. there's no place for her to run from the honesty he's providing, even if she wants the sheets and pillows to swallow her up. it's the same sort of notion that fernando had given her earlier and yet, it means so much more in this moment. a sigh escapes and she's pressing a little closer as if closer contact will cement his way of thinking into her own skull. "they won't hold much if i can't be more, if i can't do more. it's remarkable, sure, but where does one go from there?" at what point will she be satisfied with the progress she's made? when the ceiling limiting her shatters into glass shards at her feet? when those same glass shards leave her bloody and scarred?

her eyes drift away from his to their chests pressed together, to the way the rhythmic pattern of breathing syncs. play to her strengths, make the right choices. it's easy to say but how does she recognize what her strengths are? when weakness clouds every inch of her mind until it's nothing more than the insecure haze of a little girl from snowpoint. she can't rely on men like him or the councilman to supply her with the strengths she needs. no, she has to find them for herself, has to recognize the power she holds. but... when that path leads her toward wrong choices veiled by the illusions of good intentions and pure hearts, what then? "i -- i'll try," she murmurs but it isn't enough. it might never be enough to just try. she wants to succeed.