Onyx seemed a little relieved, at least Andres liked to think so. He rubs the guy's shoulder once or twice waiting for him to relax a bit. He flashes a grin when they reciprocate with an arm around his hips. "It's like...4 tickets each. Not bad for wheel of death." he said leading him to the line. [break][break]

It is a popular ride, but its not as long a wait as something like the ferris wheel or the roller coaster were. "How often do you go out to fairs anyway? I only really hear about it from my kids." he said.


[break][break]

+ onyx straub [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

Andres is busy having an angry pep talk with himself when the door swings open and he stands up abruptly. His hands grip the edge of the sink as he watched himself in the mirror, pretending everything is ok. A beat later...it's just Onyx. Who else would it be. "We gotta stop meeting like this." he said, grin faint and words almost cheeky as he feigned normalcy. [break][break]

He leans back, away from Onyx and the light, and most importantly his one eye locked on him. He does his best to give away nothing but its too late for that tonight. "I'm not sparking out." he returned evenly. [break][break]

What did he say? I'm sad? I'm sad we lived when I thought we should've died? I'm mad you're Rocket? I'm mad I don't care as much as I say I do? I'm sad I feel so strongly about you? [break][break]

That last one was cruel. Even if it was partially true. But maybe the euphoria of love came with a price, and this was just his. [break][break]

"I'm all ears." But that isn't what Onyx had meant.


[break][break]

+ onyx straub [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

Even this little bit of exertion, squirming and trying to readjust, had him hot and panting. He'd already been bad enough pulled form a deep slumber by Onyx and Amplexus before being moved and fed. With some noodles in his stomach, he was sleepier. "Now-" he began again before looking down and covering his mouth as he let out a set of sneezes. [break][break]

Despite himself, he reaches for the tissues Onyx grabbed for him. Despite the immediately distraction under him, Andres calmed down unable to keep fighting as much as he'd like to. So when Onyx guides him to lay back down, he does with minimal hesitation. He'd wanted Onyx to stick around and...this was different to the usual. Not bad different- just different. Nice. In a way. Still, it doesn't keep him from cracking a quick joke at Onyx's expense. "Fuck you." He peaks up at Onyx, grinning wide. "You know? Like ?Netflix and chill...without the Netflix."

[break][break]

+ onyx straub | bitch im a cow [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

"I'm not-" He protested, back on the defensive. Why couldn't he just be happy with whatever the hell it was they had? Why couldn't he just be appeased by the simple pleasures of seeing Onyx every few weeks or so. Running into him in the city. Hosting him. The occasional hook up? Why did it have to mean anything at all? [break][break]

It didn't. The issue was self inflicted. And that made it all the more frustrating when Onyx tried to understand it. Because it didn't make any sense. He felt possessive over a man that wasn't even really his. It was unhealthy to behave like this and so he should stop. Shut up and move on. [break][break]

He tried not to flinch when Onyx mentioned work. Another sticking point in this farce of a relationship. Something Andres didn't have a right to know, much less be upset about. "It's not, and even if it was that's not my fucking business." Andres asserted. Because if Onyx really was just using him as an outlet for Rocket, he didn't need to know about anybody else involved in that operation. [break][break]

"No-!" he said, turning to watch as Onyx got up to pay. No, he didn't need him to cover the tab, and no he wasn't staying. He wants to talk, for once. It's unclear to him why and as much as he would delight in going home, maybe it was better if he stayed. But he needs a break from the noise and Onyx's threat doesn't scare him. He gets up, and heads straight for the bathroom to wash his face and figure out how it is he got here. [break][break]

"Get it together, asshole." he murmured staring daggers into his own eyes through the dingy mirror.

[break][break]

+ onyx straub [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

He moves without resistance, watching with rapt attention as Onyx explored his body, this time all dolled up in a cheap demonic party city costume. The fabric barely covered anything, and its a wonder he wasn't considered a public menace when out in public. [break][break]

He lets out small gasps and tiny hums as Onyx's fingers graze his skin. Patches of heat that flare up and disappear as quickly as they'd appeared, all following the trail of his hands and teeth and tongue. Despite it all, he knows his face and neck are beat red as Onyx kisses his leg and speaks. Still flushed despite everything they'd already done. Because somehow this level of attention, of care, felt new to him. [break][break]

In the lowlight of his room, Onyx's one eye shines like that of a predators, with Andres, as the prey, ensnared. "Good." Laying there on top of his jacket, under him, Andres was more than aware he felt some type of way about him. And maybe Onyx isn't the best at communicating but how he held him, and how he watched him? That could be enough for Andres. "Don't hold it back, babe." It would be enough. He'd die happy for sure.

[break][break]

+ onyx straub | why his waist so small?? So othe rmen can GRAB??? WHORE!!! [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

“Huh?” Andres smiled, always happy to see Onyx but the comment goes over his head. Chuchi settled into her perch, resting her head on her paws to see what mess would unfold this time. It was always a coin flip between the too. One minute they were tangled together, the next avoiding each other. [break][break]

He glances behind him then at the floor. The apartment is a veritable mess. A type of unclean that had started back in December, relieved slightly at the new year and then falling again into disarray. Perhaps it had reflected a little too well his moods but also…he just had forgotten to clean up. Or more so, he found it too difficult when his mind was weighed down by other things. [break][break]

“I’ll get around to it on the weekend…most of the stuff on the floor is probably trash anyway.”


[break][break]

+ onyx straub || affections confections (ee) [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

Chuchi hunts, using her powerful nose and memory of the lost boy to aid their search. She pokes around, trying to pick at different trails but not quite landing on one just yet. Andres, for his part, curses mother nature itself and all her godly creatures for forcing him out of the city and into the underbrush. He could move well enough in it, but he hated being out there. Already his hands and face carried the little nicks of branches and brambles that he’d ran through or gotten smacked by. [break][break]

He’s reckless, moving more with an urgency he usually lacked when traversing nature. “Rodric! Rodric can you hear me?!” he shouted, scream echoing slightly as he dropped his cupped hands and continued looking. They’d last been seen around here. OR at least, he’d been told by some of the other kids that he often played here or spoke of being here. The skies above are dark and gloomy despite being late afternoon. [break][break]

Andres’ eyes snap to Onyx taking a moment to pause before asking quickly, “What do you mean? Like a wild Emboar or something?” he asked. He’s too worried- too distracted to pick up on anything instinctual.


[break][break]

+ onyx straub [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

He’s trying. This is trying, he thought. This carnival, the silly ears. He’d tried to pick a week day, where the crowds may be smaller but even still. A fair is a fair: busy and colorful. So when he comes back from the bathroom to what only looked like the human equivalent of an overstimulated cat, he moved to action. The urge to soothe is so powerful, he risks getting clawed at. “Hey, there you are.” [break][break]

Andres slide an arm over the Rocket’s shoulder, trying to heard the man out of the denser part of the crowd. Essentially doing a little pull over to a spot with shade and space. "Bathroom line was sooo long...how y'feeling about the swing ride?" he asked pointing at a large wheel with people strapped inside spinning wildly and lifting off its base to tilt from side to side.


[break][break]

+ onyx straub [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

He enters a coughing fit as revealed his master plan to Onyx. The man just seemed amused. He just barely managed to clamp a hand over his mouth as Onyx lifted him before getting dropped back down into his lap. But he lets out another laugh followed by a pathetically stifled coughing fit. He lifts his elbow weakly to cover his mouth, choking on the itch in his throat and the snot it was knocking loose. [break][break]

When he’s done, he tries to readjust as he sat over Onyx’s discomfort- or not really? Since he had placed him directly on top of it?? But before he could shift, Onyx pulled him closer still, wrapping arms around his waist and nuzzling into his neck. A gesture that’d only come before with a different undertone.

Andres’ fevered blush darkens as the man’s long hair tickles his skin. “Onyx wait-” he began while they pressed tightly against him. "I- I'll take care of it-" he added with a small, wheezy laugh that ends in a sharp cough.

[break][break]

+ onyx straub | bitch im a cow [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

He denies it's just sex, but Andres finds it hard to believe when he'd lived through the night and Onyx had gone. He had poured his heart out that night. He'd had it smashed to pieces. And then in the end, had all the pain numbed out by warm kisses and sweet nothings. In the relief of the following morning, he’d wanted him to stay, but he had watched him go.
[break][break]

So even if he hadn’t said anything out loud, it sure as hell felt like it.
[break][break]

Andres looks from his empty glasses to Onyx when he gets a little quieter. Onyx couldn’t have forced him because Andres would never have said no to seeing him. Even after the Minior shower, he’d run straight back to him the second the moment presented itself. It frustrated him how easy it was for him to forget all the wrong Onyx had accumulated. Even now, when he’s irritated with Onyx, he wants to comfort him. He wants so badly to stifle himself and offer him reprieve.
[break][break]

He knocks back his own glass, clinking it without fanfare. The gesture is more automatic than friendly at this point. “I don’t know. Go wherever it is you go when you’re not around me.” He almost says Rocket, but holds his tongue. Any number of places. Any number of people. Andres had that option, but for once he hadn’t wanted company. “I never would’ve asked you to leave.” It’s irritating to feel used and in the same breath to wholeheartedly have allowed it. Maybe they should’ve died. At least then he wouldn’t have had to continue ruminating over how pathetic he was. Andres can’t help but frown, sighing through his nose as he stacks up his glasses together.
[break][break]

It felt like he was on the verge of hurting himself again. Not just him- Onyx too. So he tries to swallow it all back down, fake smile and all. A defense mechanism to pull him out of any sticky situation. “Think I’ll cash out, before I take anymore.”


[break][break]

+ onyx straub [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

He doesn't think too much. Or more like he's incapable of doing anything but drowning in the feeling of Onyx trying to explore every inch of skin he'd bared for him. His arms slide around Onyx's shoulders as he brought them close together. [break][break]

Andres closed his eyes, letting Onyx have full reign to leave marks as he pleased. Despite all his crying, and his doubt he falls into a simple contentment here. He had said 'i love you' in a vain way to try and describe everything Onyx made him feel. Despite their tumultuous past together. Even still there's things he can't put into words. Like how cold he felt without Onyx next to him, or how perfectly his silent companionship calms his thoughts. How addicted he'd become to even the smallest of touches, or the shortest of looks.
[break][break]

"Then I'll keep it on as long as you want." He'd do anything for him. Here he was pledging his last hours alive to Onyx. But confessing was showing acceptance of whatever he felt, regardless of who Onyx was or what he'd done. "Appreciate it all night if you like."


[break][break]

+ onyx straub | why his waist so small?? So othe rmen can GRAB??? WHORE!!! [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

He feels his heart squeezed when Onyx speaks. Because he's doing exactly what he had wanted to avoid. But the more he pities him, the worse the poison inside him spreads. The more something inside him shakes at its cage aching to scream and fight and lash out. Andres is worsening his own condition and there's no end to this episode until it passes. Until eh can hide away and appease whatever animal screamed in the pits of his subconscious for satisfaction. [break][break]

He is an idiot. Clumsily fighting himself, fighting with Onyx. Fighting an old trauma he thought he had won over because he went to therapy and exercised now. But put together with Onyx again makes him realize he's just the same worthless kid he'd always been. [break][break]

Andres overflows with a niche kind of self hatred. Tears continuing despite how his anger set in his jaw and furrowed eyebrows. "Never." he echoed despite how hard it was to speak. Because somehow that also hurt. Because everything hurts. Because it's all too much. [break][break]

With nothing left to say, Chuchi herds her trainer away. She doesn't look back at Onyx, barking more so at the fastest option home: Amplexus. Andres doesn't slow, walking off into the grass as the sky lights up once, twice- color after color seem to shift as a handful of Miniors drop all at once. But Andres doesn't watch.

[break][break]

+ onyx straub | WE THOUGHT WE HAD IT ALL ( THOUGHT WE HAD IT ALL ) [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]

Andres palms a pokeball on his waist ready to call transportation out of there. Fast, quick, instant. He wants to go home and scream and cry and claw at his clothes and hair and skin because fuck this- Decade's old hurt bubbles under the surface, digging itself lie ka thorn into his throat, his chest, and the back of his head. He's falling into himself and he doesn't want Onyx to witness it because Onyx doesn't deserve it because Onyx- [break][break]

The lightest gasp escapes him as Onyx grabs him and he can't even fathom it. He pulls away, eyes straining to hold back tears of frustration suddenly seeing Onyx. "I don't know." he starts slowly, smile faltering as he clenched his jaw tight. Teeth shine under the light of a purple Minior. But he doesn't look up, and Chuchi doesn't give chase. The manic grin does all but make him look calm. "I don't ask fucking questions, and I damn well don't assume the bad decisions of others." he replied, speeding up as he spoke. [break][break]

And then he falters again. There it is. A sudden flash of hot and cold. A hiccup in brain activity. Neurons stop shooting their little electric pulses and his fake expression falters. He wants to puke. [break][break]

Of course he knew. "Of course I knew." [break][break]

Who knew better than him?! "Who knows better than me?!" [break][break]

And in that moment he sees it all again. The frustration, the anger. The swiftness his head had been smashed into a locker and then smashed again. The way his entire body had froze. How he hadn't fought back- couldn't fight back. The way he heard the insides of his head crack, and the stars in his vision. The stickiness in his hair, the struggle to breath- to scream. [break][break]

He remembered crying. No sobbing, no heaving, just his body doing its best to protect himself while under attack. A vain attempt at homeostasis. An escape. [break][break]

Andres doesn't realize he's crying. He doesn't realize he's clothing his head, body moving mechanically like before. Only this time, his hands manage to wrap around nothing but scars hidden in his undercut. And it only makes him angrier. [break][break]

"The difference? The difference is that I thought- I hoped you had changed!" It's selfish to have expectations when they were nothing to each other. And yet he still built them up in their head. He'd believed they were ok, mending whatever broke between them as children. "That- maybe whatever I saw had been a fluke! That you weren't involved in one of the world's largest terrorist orgs in the world! That you didn't put yourself in danger like that-!" He steps back putting distance between them as he unravels before Onyx, wiping his face with a sudden roughness. [break][break]

"Fuck me for being worried, right? Fucking idiot!!" He felt so deeply the need to bash his head in. To shut up. To run. But he can't just be quiet like always. He's not making sense anymore. It's all mixing together. Old and new hurt blur the lines. "I have to go."

[break][break]

+ onyx straub | CONFIDANTS BUT NEVER FRIENDS. WERE WE EVER FRIENDS? [break][break]

[attr="class","pokeclass"]