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"hi my name is viorel whitmore and when i was in the womb i devoured my twin."
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"it's time to call my father"
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one semester there's a change in the air. the calm before a storm that never breaks. it's the whispers in the science and tech building, the way your new lab mates look at you. how fellow ta's seem wary of you. you are not good at reading people. when they approach you, you submit to their whims. not out of fear, but your nature is simply passive. classmates to friends. friends to lovers. lovers to nothing. it is a cycle you follow tirelessly because you should be honored someone gives you the time of day. you try your best to be a good partner, to satisfy them, take care of them. it's never enough. they take and take and
take- [break][break]
and you give all of yourself away. without question. because you want to be good. [break][break]
you want to be worth the effort of dealing with you. [break][break]
"cause it's his alma matter"
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you are a legacy student, sure. but you got in on your own merits. excelled on your own skills. you'd been working by yourself, spending sleepless night studying, researching. there's no way. [break][break]
there's just no way. [break][break]
"good grades aren't what they seem"
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you didn't want to believe it, earnestly pouring more and more of yourself into your work. taking on more than you needed to, trying to be helpful. useful. trying to separate yourself from your family. but try as you might, you fall short. the damage is done. the feedback for your projects dries up. no change, minor spelling errors. your meetings are brief and you are showered in praise that echoed hollow in your head. [break][break]
"i think he knows the dean,"
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you heard this whispered once, then twice. it worms it's way into your thoughts, then your dreams. when the work dries up because it's so perfect you don't need to review, you put your newfound free time into research. your father, the heads of the school, the legacy- [break][break]
his legacy.
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and when you find what you need, and you call home and you hear his voice crack when he
tries to lie to you- because he knows if you are asking this was a concern not a cause for celebration- [break][break]
you barely hold it together. [break][break]
but its not like he can take back the money- it's not like your professors haven't already finished their grading and how their impression of you is destroyed now. [break][break]
you graduate with honors and you imagine strangling yourself with the cords that decorate your neck as you walk down the aisle. [break][break]
you are numb. [break][break]
and you don't know if it's acceptance, or shock. [break][break]
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its been years since university, and you long since disassociated yourself from that school and that time. you follow your interests elsewhere, delighting in the quietness of your life and the peace your work gave you. you picked environmental science as your field with a concentration in conservation biology. but really, you just thought the geology focus in the major was neat. [break][break]
you move to hoenn due to its increasingly chaotic and strange environments, hoping to gather as much data as possible and assist scientists outside of the region in their own research. considering how varied the continent is, you have no doubt your observations will assist others in their own endeavors. [break][break]
🌱🌼🌱