He only winces a little when she pats him on the back, more from the unexpected force behind it than anything else. Had she always been this strong, or had his time with Rocket simply made him weaker?

He doesn't want to think about it, but he can't stop.

He goes quiet as Vicki talks, more reminiscent of the man she'd once known.

"Rocket," he says. "It was Team Rocket."

Let the whole region understand, old and young, that the leopard hadn't changed its spots. It had simply adopted a better camouflage. They weren't the freedom fighters they claimed to be. They were the villains.

His sigh is heavy.

"I'm not mad at you, Vic. I'm just..."

Suffering. So angry, all the time. So tired.

"... not feeling great."

@vicki

In a way, it helps that she's not trying to help. That she's not walking on eggshells and watching her words and trying to pretend everything is normal except where it counts, except where Orion wants it to be.

The sound that escapes him isn't a laugh, more akin to a scoff.

"We're not talking about you, princess. Keep up."

But this time, there's a hint of humour in his tone. Princess. It's what he calls her when he wants her to know she's being especially exasperating. Not unlike how she keeps calling him stinky.

"What do you want, anyway?"

@vicki

Predictably, the puppy-dog eyes don't work.

"About the time someone held me down and cut it off, yeah."

It's not light. It's not joking. It's bitter and cold and he's hurting.

She's a kid. He shouldn't be so blunt with her, but she shouldn't be invading his personal space despite his obvious desire to be left alone.

He brushes her hand away and makes to walk past her, toward his house.

@vicki

He is not the man she remembers.

He is a void occupying a vessel who was once one of the most powerful men in Hoenn. Yet it's not for his seat on the Council that Orion pines but for the life he'd had before that — a life he'd hoped to slip on like an old glove.

The door to the Ranger outpost in Fortree slams closed.

"Fuck off."

Such words are muttered moments before his personal space is shamelessly invaded.

He stiffens at the contact, which is normal. He scowls at her, which is not.

"I'm not in the mood, Vicki."

He tries to insert his good arm between them to force her back a few steps. This, too, would have been easier with both his hands. Everything is a reminder of what he's lost, even when it's not so blatant as the child in front of him.

@vicki

sending gacha wurmple from
pkmn-hoenn.boards.net/post/239215/thread
to @vicki

Swellow, Clobbopus, Wartortle, Unown, Cloyster

Rockruff, Skiddo, Cubone, Chatot/Foongus/Chewtle, Noivern

Pidgeotto, Skorupi, Lunatone, Vaporeon, Dreepy

Pyukumuku, Wurmple, Smeargle, Camerupt, Plusle

"How about you stop telling me how to handle my own trauma?"

Despite Altair's best efforts to calm him, Orion's mood turns from bad to worse.

"I am not you. So you're happy to accept help, congratu-fucking-lations. I didn't want help, I definitely didn't ask for help, and if you'd thought to be the least bit considerate about how I feel, maybe you'd have realised that."

He slams his bleeding hand down on a fence post, ignoring the pain that shocks up his arm. It's a reminder that this arm is still there, that it still works, that it's not just the phantom presence of something that'll never be there again.

"Oh, so now you're concerned with rank," he spits. "Maybe should have thought of that before you started patronizing me."

Raziel Beckett

"There is no way I can pretend that everything is normal."

Tears fall now in earnest, and he swipes at them with his hand and smears blood across his cheek. Chu-e Choi was right; to kill him would have been a mercy. To live on with this irreparable change was so much worse.

"I'm sick of everyone treating me like a child. I lost my arm, not my braincells. I know I'm different! No one understands that more than me!"

He starts to card his hand through Altair's fur, staining white with his blood.

"If you understood how I felt, you would've asked if I wanted help."

Raziel Beckett

PURCHASING/REDEEMING

welcome to the poké mart!

20x REG. GACHA TICKET (1000 PD)

TOTAL

do come again!

1000 PD

"Don't mock me!"

Which probably isn't what Raziel Beckett is trying to do, but it's how it feels to Orion.

"I could've, if you'd left me alone rather than insisting I needed help."

A soft growl rumbles in the Absol's throat but it isn't looking at Razz. It's staring at Orion, pads close and nudges him in the ribs with its horn as if to suggest he knock it off.

Orion just glares; not even Altair can pull him out of this slump.

PURCHASING/REDEEMING

welcome to the poké mart!

1x EGG TUTOR (PC)
had 3, down to 2
GENGAR learns PERISH SONG.

1x LEVEL TUTOR (PC)
had 10, down to 9
DRIFBLIM learns STRENGTH SAP.

1x TM/TR (PC)
had 4, down to 3
HONCHKROW learns ROOST.

TOTAL

do come again!

00 PD

"I'll just grow my fuckin' arm back while I'm at it, shall I?"

He brings up the elephant in the room with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. He's seen their looks. Heard a few whispers. He's a liability, now. Damaged. Broken. Fragile.

He'd spit at the thought but it shows its truth in the tears that well in his eyes. They're equal parts frustration and sorrow.

Raziel Beckett apologizes and Orion looks away, glowering into the forest.

"I don't need help."

But he does. He's just too proud to admit it.

He should appreciate the help, but—

"You think I don't know that?"

Orion whirls to face Raziel Beckett with a fire in his eyes that fails to conceal the way they shimmer with unchecked emotions. He gestures sharply with his hand, which bleeds from two places thanks to the earlier splinter.

"I'm gone for a few months and you all forget who I am? I went through basic training years ago."

There's a flash of white as an Absol leaps from the treeline to land nearby, but its red eyes regard Razz without malice or suspicion. Altair recognizes the younger Ranger's intent, even if his trainer doesn't.

"Shouldn't even be on this mission..."

It's grunt work, and he knows it.