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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 14:52:21 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]it really is a big office, which really just means they can take as long as they want which is exactly what they do. so by the time they end up at the couch, exhaustion, along with contentment washes over his features.

"you can do that later, surely."

he says if only to stop mars from getting up just yet. this feels too nice, too comfortable, and he'd hate for it to end so soon.

at his name, he meets mars' gaze.

"mars?"

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 15:11:16 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

”Ha… You’re right, I’ll do it in a moment.”
[break][break]
A kiss is softly placed upon Cian’s cheek, and fingers idly play with a strand of his hair.
[break][break]
Why would he want to get up right now? Moments like these are nothing short of perfection, even if they’re both exhausted and even if later on he will have to do a whole lot of work to make up for taking the afternoon off. But, that is something for a future Mars to worry about – a future Mars that isn’t distracted by looking at Cian.
[break][break]
When their eyes meet, he just watches him for a second, despite having been the one who called for his attention.
[break][break]
There’s a smile tugging at his lips, and when he finally speaks, his words are no more than a calm whisper between them:
[break][break]
”... Tell me something I don’t know?”

[break][break]

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[attr="class","credit"]milky

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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 15:45:07 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]to anyone else, the silence might have been concerning, but cian feels nothing but warmth as he looks into mars' eyes. a similar smile tugs at his lips, mirroring as he hums a thought.

"something you don't know..."

admittedly, there's just so much that he doesn't know where to start. things about his family, about rocket, about himself...

"i hate battling? i think i'm going to stop after my contract with devon ends."

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 16:00:20 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

There’s a lot Mars doesn’t know, he’s well aware of that. Too aware, perhaps, and that’s exactly why he asks.
[break][break]
He wants to know more about Cian.
[break][break]
He wants to understand him better.
[break][break]
And so, when the answer comes, he simply listens, still calmly playing with his hair as he watches him.
[break][break]
If Cian hates battling, then why did he choose to start battling to begin with? Why does he dislike it so much? Has he told anyone that?
[break][break]
There’s a lot of questions, but for now, most of them are set aside.
[break][break]
”Yeah? That makes sense, you shouldn’t be doing something you hate… Do you know what you’d want to do when your contract is done though?”

[break][break]

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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 16:29:06 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]the gesture is sweet and calming. he relishes it, still feeling content despite the shift in conversation.

"what is there for me to do, mars?"

it's likely one of the rare times where cian sounds insecure. he hasn't given it much thought; he's always done what made sense or what he's been told to do. running, rocket, battling...

so he shrugs.

"probably whatever dad tells me to do. crime, i suppose."

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 16:53:15 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

‘What is there for me to do, Mars?’
[break][break]
That makes him sad.
[break][break]
Mars has never heard Cian sounding so insecure before, and he hates knowing there’s things he feels this way about. Especially something like this. It all makes him desperately wish there was something he could do to fix things.
[break][break]
Still, he remains calm, his words quiet as he looks at Cian, giving him a faint smile.
[break][break]
”Anything you want, Cian... Anything that would make you happy.”
[break][break]
What would make Cian happy? What kind of things does he love?
[break][break]
The next words hurt even more, because they remind him too much of himself and of all the things he has done because his family has forced him to do as much…
[break][break]
”...Is that why you’re in Rocket? Because of your dad?”
[break][break]
He doesn’t want to push, and there’s nothing about his tone that demands an answer, but he does want to understand.

[break][break]

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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 17:18:23 GMT

boruta maher and Martín del Mar like this

[attr="class","cian"]what would make cian happy? it was running once but he stopped enjoying it somewhere along the way. he can't quite remember where; maybe after his mother died. but other than that, has there been anything that cian truly enjoys doing?

mars' question is met with a simple answer that almost seeks to brush the topic away.

"yeah."

but mars deserves better than that.

"he made us join when rocket first got here. said it would be the best thing for the family."

boruta maher had gotten out but he and caden maher have not been as intuitive.

and after another pause, he whispers:

"i don't think mom would've wanted us to join."

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 17:37:13 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

It’s all painfully familiar, in a way Mars really wishes it wasn’t. He wishes Cian wouldn’t have to deal with things like these, that he wouldn’t have to feel forced to be involved with Team Rocket, and that his life were much different from what it is…
[break][break]
But, he also knows that they would have never met if Cian’s life were different, and selfishly, he’s still thankful for meeting him.
[break][break]
‘I don't think mom would've wanted us to join.’
[break][break]
This is also painfully familiar, and it makes Mars think of his own parents and everything they sacrificed for him.
[break][break]
”I’m sorry, Cian.”
[break][break]
For what? For asking? For the fact that his mother wasn’t there to stop him from falling into this life, perhaps.
[break][break]
”...Would you want to leave if you could?”
[break][break]
There’s not much point in asking questions that are impossible, and yet, in a whisper, Mars asks anyway – as if it were a secret to be shared between the two of them as they embrace.

[break][break]

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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 17:54:52 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]what could mars ever be sorry for? there is no one to blame but cian because he could've left when boruta maher did but instead he chose to stay. why exactly, he's still not sure.

so he simply shakes his head, dismissing the apology as it isn't needed.

the question, however, is met with silence.

would he ever leave?

"no. not without dad and caden maher."

with a sigh, he shifts closer to mars.

"besides, i'm not sure what there is for me outside rocket."

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 18:11:42 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

’Not without dad.’
[break][break]
Maybe Cian is a much better person than Mars after all, because Mars himself wouldn’t still care for the fate of someone who forced him into this sort of life – family or not.
[break][break]
In fact, he doesn’t care.
[break][break]
Or, well, actually…
[break][break]
In fact, he’s doing everything in his power to one day make them pay for what they have done.
[break][break]
Yet, even without being told as much, he also knows well that the things Cian’s father has taken from him are much different from everything the Marzáns have done. They’re still family, in a way the Marzáns have never really been to Mars. He’s envious of this, even if he would never say as much.
[break][break]
All he does is hold Cian close, gaze never leaving him.
[break][break]
”That’s the thing though… It could be anything you want. Anything you’d want to do with your life... It'd be up to you, Cian.” With these quiet words, there is a faint smile.
[break][break]
”Do you wanna know what I’d do?”

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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 18:32:41 GMT

[attr="class","cian"]it's sad to think that even when given the option to leave, to finally be free to live his own life, he'd much rather stick to what is familiar if only because they're family. but mom always put family first, and so to do anything but feels wrong.

cian could so anything with his life, but he chooses not to.

the thought lingers even as mars asks his question.

"other than being a rich ceo? hmm, i'm not too sure."

he chuckles, teasing as he reaches for mars' hand.

"tell me."

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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POSTED ON Aug 20, 2021 18:57:42 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

Even though Mars may never tell Cian as much, these are things he truly admires about him. It takes a lot to care about someone so much that he’d be willing to stay by their side even through all these dangers, and all that tells him is that, even if things may not be perfect between them, the love Cian has for his family is impossible to deny.
[break][break][break]
Mars knows what that’s like, because he too has had people he has loved that much.
[break][break]
People who are now long gone from his life.
[break][break]
It’s almost funny, isn’t it? A man who could have anything in the world, and yet the one thing he truly wants more than anything is the one thing that seems so far away from his grasp…
[break][break]
What would he do with his life if he weren’t in Team Rocket? If he weren’t a Marzán?
[break][break]
While there are many things he could say, yet the answer is obvious to Mars…
[break][break]
”...I’d have a family.”
[break][break]
Like the family he almost had. Like the family he and Cosima were going to build together before she and the child they were going to have were both taken from him by the Marzáns.
[break][break]
Gently, he squeezes Cian’s hand, offering a faint smile. And, despite his honest words, he doesn't sound sad when speaking of that; perhaps because there is acceptance, or perhaps because the thought itself makes him happy enough.
[break][break]
”I’ve always wanted a family, but it’s not something I can have when I live this kind of life.”

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POSTED ON Aug 21, 2021 7:55:49 GMT

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[attr="class","cian"]a family.

briefly, he remembers what mars told him in the restaurant, of how he was once married, of how his wife had died.

knowing what he knows, is it selfish to imagine himself with mars? to imagine a family with him?

"why don't you just leave? you can start a different life, one away from all of this."

[attr="class","noodles"]Martín del Mar

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POSTED ON Aug 21, 2021 8:51:13 GMT

[nospaces]

[attr="class","blboxmm"]

If Cian is selfish, then so is Mars, because it’s that very same thought that crosses his mind when the question comes. Leave it all and have a family with Cian.
[break][break]
The worst part is that it’s a nice thought, one that he likes, and yet also an impossible one. It’s a thought that reminds him of exactly why he too can’t leave this life behind.
[break][break]
Still, he smiles, gently allowing their fingers to intertwine. ”I can’t... Not yet. I need Team Rocket.”
[break][break]
Exactly for what, he doesn’t say.
[break][break]
It’s naïve of Cian to think it’s easy for someone like him to leave this life behind, but Mars doesn’t blame him for that. They’re talking hypotheticals, after all. Things that will never actually happen, but that would sure be nice…
[break][break]
”Plus, there’s a lot of things I like about the life I have right now…” At this, he holds his gaze, bringing their hands up to softly kiss the back of Cian’s. ”... and some that I really like, actually.”
[break][break]
A chuckle, and a pause to follow that.
[break][break]
”I don’t think I’d choose a different life.”

[break][break]

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