memento mori [m]

i used to dream in the dark of palisades park

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noodles

triple h
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twenty-seven
september 14th
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CIAN MAHER
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 2, 2021 11:35:46 GMT
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cian can't help but stare at her body, at her once ROSY SKIN that's now tainted with murky red. he shudders, looking away at nothing in particular.

"it's okay, mars."

but it isn't.

"it's okay."
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played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday
He/Him
28
August 4th
Canalave City, Sinnoh
Bi / Demiro
POG Bank CEO
Underboss
Veni. Videre. Vincam.
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Martín del Mar
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 2, 2021 12:13:31 GMT
Martín del Mar Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","rigid"]
[attr="class","rigidw"]

It’s not okay.
[break][break]
No matter what he does, no matter how much time passes, the truth is that it will never be okay.
[break][break]
These memories will always be with him; a part of him that’s impossible to deny no matter how hard he tries to hide them, as are the fears that have come to exist because of them. The fear of losing the people he loves, the fear of them suffering because of him, the fear of being alone.
[break][break]
Fears of which there have been one too many reminders as of late…
[break][break]
”It’s not…”
[break][break]
Leaning against Cian, it’s in exhaustion that he sighs, finally allowing himself to look away from her body and close his eyes.
[break][break]
What comes next is the gentle warmth of sunlight.
[break][break]
Sand beneath them, a briny breeze, the sound of the ocean, and also that of the Wingull flying up above. Familiar things. Things that are usually comforting. Things that are comforting until he opens his eyes and recognizes the beach where they find themselves kneeling.
[break][break]
”No…”
[break][break]
This time, Mars knows it’s a dream, for a few metres away, right in his line of sight, a man plays in the water with a child that looks just like what Mars himself did when he was young.


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noodles

triple h
he/him
twenty-seven
september 14th
rustboro
bisexual
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now come together, come apart
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CIAN MAHER
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 2, 2021 14:58:42 GMT
CIAN MAHER Avatar
cian blinks, and suddenly he's under the warmth of sunlight. it's far less gentle to him than it is to mars, and if he's not careful, he could suffer a FARMER'S TAN.

with mars still in his arms, he peers up and around, noticing a familiar head of hair in the near distance.

"is that you?"
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played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday
He/Him
28
August 4th
Canalave City, Sinnoh
Bi / Demiro
POG Bank CEO
Underboss
Veni. Videre. Vincam.
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Martín del Mar
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 2, 2021 15:29:27 GMT
Martín del Mar Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","rigid"]
[attr="class","rigidw"]

’Is that you?’
[break][break]
Here, in this dream, for the first time in quite a while, the word doesn’t ring in the way it has ever since the night Azelf granted him its prophecy. Is it because this is all happening in his subconscious, or because his gaze remains fixed on that little boy that laughs while playing in the ocean? So young. So small. So sweet. So innocent. So weak.
[break][break]
”Yeah…”
[break][break]
He doesn’t move, still kneeling on the sand and holding onto Cian.
[break][break]
Is Cian a part of this twisted dream too?
[break][break]
”Martín, we should head back home.”
[break][break]
”Aw. But, papa…”
[break][break]
No.
[break][break]
Not this moment. Not this day...
[break][break]
Hearing his father’s voice is still as shocking as it had been when he had appeared before Mars during the Star Soirée, for it’s a sound he thought he had long forgotten. Back then, the words had been spoken in Kalosian, but now they ring just as Mars remembers understanding them.
[break][break]
This is a moment Mars remembers, and because of it he knows that when his father says ‘head back home’, he means their small house in Ambrette Town. The place where everything will change when they return…
[break][break]
”Cian… We need to stop them…”
[break][break]
But, how could they?
[break][break]
What is meant to happen will happen. Even in a dream, Mars knows this well. And, even in a dream, does he really want Cian to see it? Did he see Cosima as well?


[attr="class","rigidtag"] | MISSION



[attr="class","rigidpokes"]




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noodles

triple h
he/him
twenty-seven
september 14th
rustboro
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CIAN MAHER
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 3, 2021 9:10:58 GMT
CIAN MAHER Avatar
stop them?

"mars..."

his gaze never strays from the scene that plays out in front of them, too engrossed by it all to ever look away.

"i don't think we can."

because here, they are nothing but observers.
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played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday
He/Him
28
August 4th
Canalave City, Sinnoh
Bi / Demiro
POG Bank CEO
Underboss
Veni. Videre. Vincam.
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Martín del Mar
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 3, 2021 10:47:01 GMT
Martín del Mar Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","rigid"]
[attr="class","rigidw"]

They’re observers. Expectators. Cian understands it before Mars does.
[break][break]
There’s no changing things in this dream, for it is a memory now seen from an outsider’s perspective. Not the perspective of the child who experienced it, perhaps because, even in his subconscious, Mars knows that there’s so very little of that child left in him.
[break][break]
Perhaps, there’s nothing left but the pain that sweet and innocent boy is about to experience…
[break][break]
”Yeah… I think you might be right.”
[break][break]
Mars sighs in defeat, and watching the way his father picks up the boy with a laugh, he stands up – taking Cian’s hand when he does. It’s only then when he turns to face him again, and while there’s a faint smile, there is no hiding the sadness with which it comes.
[break][break]
”Come on, we should follow them. I always wanted to show you Ambrette.”



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noodles

triple h
he/him
twenty-seven
september 14th
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CIAN MAHER
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 3, 2021 16:48:26 GMT
CIAN MAHER Avatar
of course cian's right. as per usual. but this time, he chooses not to brag about it, understanding the setting of this scene requires him to be more somber.

"you sure you want my first time seeing ambrette to be now?"

despite his words, he follows them, cautious as ever.
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played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday
He/Him
28
August 4th
Canalave City, Sinnoh
Bi / Demiro
POG Bank CEO
Underboss
Veni. Videre. Vincam.
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Martín del Mar
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 3, 2021 17:11:19 GMT
Martín del Mar Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","rigid"]
[attr="class","rigidw"]

What choice do they have?
[break][break]
He could try to wake up, he could try to avoid what awaits them, but Mars knows well that there’s really no escaping from this. It’s a part of him as much as Cosima’s death is. It’s things he has had to learn to live with. It’s a grief he will always carry with him.
[break][break]
”No, I don’t, but this is an important part of my life.”
[break][break]
A part of his life Cian should actually be aware of. One that he should understand more than what he does.
[break][break]
There’s another sigh, and that sad smile of his remains, gently squeezing Cian’s hand before following after his father and his younger self. The pair before them chat, laughing happily – completely unaware of what awaits once they reach that small house by the ocean front.
[break][break]
How could they know?
[break][break]
Even here, in this nightmare, Ambrette is as beautiful as ever, a picturesque little town in the south of Kalos.



[attr="class","rigidtag"] | MISSION



[attr="class","rigidpokes"]




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noodles

triple h
he/him
twenty-seven
september 14th
rustboro
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CIAN MAHER
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 4, 2021 10:05:16 GMT
CIAN MAHER Avatar
could they even wake up on command?

not that it matters. mars wants cian to see this, so he will, and it's with a sigh that he follows after the pair, watching them interact before they reach ambrette.

and honestly? it's not as bad as he thought it'd be. but it's only because the nightmare hasn't started yet.

"it's a nice town."
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played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday
He/Him
28
August 4th
Canalave City, Sinnoh
Bi / Demiro
POG Bank CEO
Underboss
Veni. Videre. Vincam.
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4,525 posts
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Martín del Mar
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 4, 2021 12:35:05 GMT
Martín del Mar Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","rigid"]
[attr="class","rigidw"]

It’s not really that Mars wants Cian to see this, but that he has a right to. It’s knowing that he too would want to be aware of and see things that are this influential to who Cian is, even if they’re things that Cian himself has never really shown anyone.
[break][break]
After all, in truth, not even Mars wants to see what comes next...
[break][break]
The signs are there; they’re in the way his gaze remains fixed on the pair as they walk through Ambrette’s small streets, they’re in how tense he is, and even in how he continues to squeeze Cian’s hand even if he doesn’t dare look at him.
[break][break]
Is it fear, or is it something else entirely?
[break][break]
Is it perhaps the knowledge that while the sun may shine much brighter than the full moon that awaits them when they wake, none of it is real? That it’s not as warm as he remembers? That being in Ambrette doesn’t feel as wonderful as he wishes it did? And, how could it be wonderful, when he knows what will happen when they reach the place where he once lived?
[break][break]
”Yeah, I… Cian, you don’t have to look if you don’t want to… We should probably stay outside.”
[break][break]
He doesn’t have it in him to further explain.
[break][break]
When is Mars ever this hesitant about anything?




[attr="class","rigidtag"] | MISSION



[attr="class","rigidpokes"]




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played by

noodles

triple h
he/him
twenty-seven
september 14th
rustboro
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CIAN MAHER
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 4, 2021 16:47:35 GMT
CIAN MAHER Avatar
despite how nice and quaint ambrette looks, no warmth exists here, not even in this dream.

"you said it's an important part of your life. so shouldn't i see?"

he returns the squeeze.

"it's up to you, mars."
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played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday
He/Him
28
August 4th
Canalave City, Sinnoh
Bi / Demiro
POG Bank CEO
Underboss
Veni. Videre. Vincam.
awards
4,525 posts
part of
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Martín del Mar
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 5, 2021 2:42:09 GMT
Martín del Mar Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","rigid"]
[attr="class","rigidw"]

Shouldn’t Cian see?
[break][break]
He should, Mars knows as much, but knowing doesn’t make this any easier for him. Nothing about this is easy. It will never be easy.
[break][break]
”Okay, if you’re sure.”
[break][break]
The squeeze is appreciated; comforting, reassuring, and grounding. Even in this dream. It helps, especially as they approach that small house that’s utterly unremarkable aside from the fact that it lies right by the beach. The lawn is of a pristine green, and there’s a tree with an old swing hanging from it. It’s just as Mars remembers it.
[break][break]
With a deep breath, he pauses, watching as his childhood self runs into the home – laughing and without a worry.
[break][break]
This is what changes everything, a simple action performed in innocent joy, and yet that could have spared them so much pain if not taken. That’s how Mars sees it, at least. That’s the explanation he reached long ago when trying to understand the events that are about to take place once again before them.
[break][break]
It’s all his fault.
[break][break]
If he hadn’t let go of his father’s hand, if he hadn’t ran into the house, then perhaps his father would have realized that the front door wasn’t locked and they would have had a chance to escape before it was too late…
[break][break]
And there is no escaping now, since the moment six year old Martín runs into the house is the moment a man in a dark suit takes hold of him.





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played by

noodles

triple h
he/him
twenty-seven
september 14th
rustboro
bisexual
rustboro gym leader
champion (hoenn & vct)
now come together, come apart
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3,824 posts
CIAN MAHER DOLLARS
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TAG WITH @cian
CIAN MAHER
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 5, 2021 6:04:40 GMT
CIAN MAHER Avatar
it's a worrying sight, and as much as cian wants to jump forward to try and save the six year old boy, he knows he's powerless here.

all he can do is watch, as painful as it may be.

because he knows what follows this.
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played by

Azul

Mars | Tuesday
He/Him
28
August 4th
Canalave City, Sinnoh
Bi / Demiro
POG Bank CEO
Underboss
Veni. Videre. Vincam.
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4,525 posts
part of
TAG WITH @mars
Martín del Mar
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 5, 2021 14:31:12 GMT
Martín del Mar Avatar
[nospaces]
[attr="class","rigid"]
[attr="class","rigidw"]

”MARTÍN!”
[break][break]
They had lived in hiding. It’s why they lived in such a small and remote town, and why their house was so very unremarkable. His father had done everything in his power to make sure they weren’t found, and for six long years, it had worked – he had given Mars six years of a peaceful, normal childhood. Six years during which he knew they were being hunted…
[break][break]
So, on this day, when that foolish six year old ran into the house, his father probably knew what awaited them inside, and yet he still called his name and ran after him, because nothing mattered more to him than protecting his family.
[break][break]
Once he disappeared through the front door, there was silence outside, nothing to indicate the horrors that were taking place within the house.
[break][break]
”My father wanted me to have a normal childhood… I never realized there were people looking for us, or how careful he was about things. Maybe if I had, all this would have been different.”
[break][break]
Can he really step forward and walk into that house when he knows what awaits inside?
[break][break]
Can he really show Cian all of that?




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played by

noodles

triple h
he/him
twenty-seven
september 14th
rustboro
bisexual
rustboro gym leader
champion (hoenn & vct)
now come together, come apart
awards
3,824 posts
CIAN MAHER DOLLARS
part of
TAG WITH @cian
CIAN MAHER
memento mori [m]
POSTED ON Nov 7, 2021 10:41:01 GMT
CIAN MAHER Avatar
silence surrounds them. the closed door, along with what's happening behind it calls to him, but he's rooted in place, unable to step forward.

or perhaps not wanting to.

"you were a kid."

he squeezes.

"there was nothing you could've done."