MARCH UPDATE

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POSTED ON Nov 24, 2021 13:28:51 GMT

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Why?
[break][break]
The answer is not as simple as Mars wishes it were, but as they walk, as he looks ahead, he tries his best to gather his thoughts and explain all of the reasons why he thinks Cian is a better than what he himself will ever be…
[break][break]
Many of the reasons why he loves him, actually.
[break][break]
”Because you’re you.” The initial answer may be obvious, but it is no empty platitude. There’s another squeeze, and with a thumb, he gently traces circles on the back of Cian’s hand. ”Because even though you probably would deny it, you can be kind, caring, and compassionate. Because you have things that matter to you, things you’re passionate about, and because you want to protect them and the people you love. Because you have dreams and you want a better life...”
[break][break]
Because you want to be better than what Team Rocket has made of you.
[break][break]
Mars turns to look at him then, honey-coloured gaze filled with a warmth that’s only meant for a few people in this world.
[break][break]
”I know you might say I’m only saying all that because I love you, but those are some of the reasons why I do love you... You’re not a bad person, Cian. You have never been.”
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And, hopefully, he never will be.

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER | MISSION

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TAG WITH @cian

POSTED ON Nov 25, 2021 15:35:31 GMT

the words, no matter how meaningful, fall flat, buried under the weight of his own insecurities and anxieties and worries. the people he loves the most in the world could all tell him the same thing and he'd still doubt them.

he'd still doubt himself.

"i've done nothing good in my life, mars."

running's the closest thing to good, but even then, he remembers the incident that ended up injuring caden maher, and he had been at fault for that, too.

the memory hurts.

"but that'll change soon. i'll be better."
Martín del Mar
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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Nov 25, 2021 17:10:35 GMT

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”That’s not true, you just don’t see it.”
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’You don’t see what I see.’
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‘You don’t see yourself the way I see you.’
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Despite Cian’s words, despite the pain that comes with feeling like all of those sentiments are being denied, Mars still holds his hand as they walk, looking ahead instead of looking at him.
[break][break]
”If that’s what you think you should do and what would make you happy, then do it. But, Cian... Do you remember what I said to you back at Lavaridge?”
[break][break]
There’s a gentle squeeze, once again repeating the words that had been said the day they became a couple:
[break][break]
”You’re more than good enough just the way you are. You always will be.”
[break][break]

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POSTED ON Nov 26, 2021 10:11:33 GMT

cian remembers, but for the sake of it, he's glad mars reminds him again.

"i'm glad you think so."

maybe one day he'll believe it himself. until then, all he can do is sigh, squeezing mars' hand as he looks over at him.

"thanks, mi vida."
Martín del Mar
☉

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POSTED ON Nov 26, 2021 10:43:59 GMT

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Mi vida.
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My everything.
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My life.
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Perhaps it’s almost ironic considering all the people he loves who have lost their lives because of him.
[break][break]
Even now, the images replay clearly in his mind, fresh after having seen them in his nightmares so very recently. So, he tries to ignore them, to push them aside, to focus on Cian.
[break][break]
”It’s cute when you say it.”
[break][break]
Mars smiles, holding his gaze before leaning in to place a quick and gentle kiss on his cheek. He lingers close afterwards, his next words a whisper.
[break][break]
”And no… Thank you.”
[break][break]
For what?
[break][break]
For one too many things, really.

[break][break]

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POSTED ON Nov 26, 2021 19:51:54 GMT

he blinks, surprised.

"for what? i didn't do shit."

it's mars who's been caring for him, making sure he's okay. what has cian done except bitch and whine? the thought is frustrating for as short as it lasts.

"you're going to say some sappy shit like 'for being you', aren't you?"

playfully, he punches mars' side, chuckling.
Martín del Mar
☉

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POSTED ON Nov 27, 2021 3:59:43 GMT

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Mars doesn’t stop the punch even though he sees it coming, his own chuckle joining Cian’s when he catches his hand after the event happens. He grins brightly.
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”Ouch. Hey now, when have I ever been sappy?”
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Too often, really, because Mars loves romantic things like those. Because when he loves someone, he will always be one to take every single chance he has to tell them as much. Because there may just be a part of him that lives in fear of the fact that he might one day lose Cian; that there might be a day when he will no longer be able to tell him all those things he thinks and feels about him.
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He should share more.
[break][break]
He should stop leaving things unsaid.
[break][break]
So, he meets Cian’s gaze, smiling at him.
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”Thank you because you make me want to be a better person too, Cian.”
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Even if that may never happen, at least not in the way Cian thinks. Is better even possible for someone like him? Would his destiny allow it?
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Defy your fate and become something more.
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What more is there for Mars?
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‘More’ and ‘better’ are such subjective things…
[break][break]
”But, yeah… thank you for being you.”
[break][break]
Once more, he grins.

[break][break]

[attr="class","rigidtag"]CIAN MAHER | MISSION

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POSTED ON Nov 29, 2021 15:44:07 GMT

it's not a strong punch, to be fair. probably tickles more than anything.

"all the time."

often, anyways.

he meets mars' gaze, returning the smile before rolling his eyes at his words.

ugh.

"you sappy shit."

but the smile lingers.

"thank you, too. i love you."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Nov 29, 2021 16:46:40 GMT

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There’s always something incredibly comforting about seeing Cian smile like that. It’s a sight that could take away all of his worries and make him forget about all of the things he has been stressing out about. Is that one of the reasons he loves him, or does that comfort come because he has all those feelings for him?
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”True, but if I wasn’t sappy with you then who would, hm? I’m your boyfriend, of course I’ll always tell you how great I think you are.”
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He winks, even if his words are as honest as can be.
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”I love you too, my bitch.”
[break][break]
A smirk, and a laugh to soon follow it, gently squeezing Cian’s hand one more time.

[break][break]

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POSTED ON Nov 29, 2021 17:06:53 GMT

"dunno. my fans think i'm pretty great."

all nine thousand of them. which, to be fair, is quite a lot of fans! he has mostly devon and ALEXANDER STONE to thank for that.

not that he ever uses his account for anything other than posting pictures of his pokemon, though.

he returns the squeeze, laughing.

"you still never told me how to say that."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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POSTED ON Nov 29, 2021 17:12:04 GMT

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”And they’re right, obviously, but didn’t we already establish that I’m your biggest fan? The hottest one too. Lucky you.”
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Of course.
[break][break]
It’s easy to go back to joking around; to teasing, so saying playful things like those. He’s glad for it, honestly, because it’s much better than the alternative. Much better than thinking of all those nightmares they shared.
[break][break]
Plus, he means every word, obviously.
[break][break]
”Oh, if you really want to know you’ll have to earn it.”
[break][break]
Does he? Not really, but it’s much more fun this way, isn’t it?

[break][break]

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POSTED ON Nov 29, 2021 17:22:09 GMT

"earn it, huh?"

thoughts drift to his mind, easily replacing darker ones that haunted him earlier.

he grins, tugging them in a direction.

"let's head back to your place."
Martín del Mar
☉

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Mars | Tuesday

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Canalave City, Sinnoh

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