he hadn’t pressed his luck with her. a few short texts, all regarding Roman Maher —which actually wasn’t too different than what it had been lately, with willow seeing professional beekeeper Greyson Connors .

or whoever it was. the one who was better for roman.

had that even been what she meant? maybe not. it was what he’d heard, though—and it had sat with him like a lingering ghost too ugly to make eye contact with, dressed in all his mistakes.

now a couple of weeks since the big oops, he found himself in fortree, on ranger-related business. he hadn’t expected to run into her, so, her knit hat caught him off guard and froze him there midstep. he maneuvered to get a good look at her face from afar.

yup. 

he had a couple of options, but he’d decided two years ago he was never going to run away from her again. so...

he stared a moment longer before getting out his phone.

i can see u right now
not stalking just work stuff
permission to approach?

but the vaporeon at his feet was less considerate. his attention homed in on willow, and he darted to break the distance, leaving bo behind to shake his head.

”damn it, nacho…”

willow atkins

☉

willow isn't too big into texting, but lately she's found herself checking her messages like some sort of lovesick teen. not much has transpired between herself and LANCE VOLLANS, but she still gets a flush every time she thinks about that small kiss. his work keeps him busy, she knows this, but that doesn't stop her from checking for a message every so often. 

she's doing this now when she gets a notification from bo. her heart and her stomach do a couple of strange things, but she can't parse through the weight of all those feelings. so she shuts them carefully in a box and is about to start texting him back when she feels something grazing her leg. 

when she peers under the table, nacho is looking up at her with his big purple-black eyes. the scowl on her face softens as she reaches down to stroke the waxy fur of the water-type. 

"are you causing trouble for bo or did he put you up to this?" she says with a murmur, lips tilting though she doesn't want them to. 

boruta maher

☉

bo watched, not taking any steps closer, and feeling very unsure what to do. he couldn’t just approach now, after giving her the option, could he? no answer was as good as ‘no’ in most situations.

still, though, nacho was there. and he couldn’t just… walk away…

he scratched his head, at a loss, and simply standing there. and eventually, he waved, hoping she’d notice—though nacho seemed to have her successfully distracted.

maybe she hadn’t gotten the text or something. she’d checked her phone though, hadn’t she? he’d seen it.

”nacho!” he finally called, several beats too late. a couple walking past gave him a confused glance.

the vaporeon didn’t pay him any mind, seeming to smile sweetly up at willow with his baby-doll eyes sparkling before giving a light, cooing, ’por.’

willow atkins

☉

the vaporeon's eyes have turned to near slits now and his rumbling purrs, like the tide coming in, soften her just a little bit more. if it were all part of bo's plan, and she's sure it's not, it's a damn good one. and she's almost a little annoyed that he won't come over to her, that he can't just pretend it's normal. 

but it's not. because she'd always felt a little something with the way he looked at her, knew he'd kept on hoping these past couple of years. and maybe she should have been more forward. maybe she shouldn't have let his gaze linger. 

she swallows and picks up her phone. rather than texting him back, she taps the screen and holds it up to her ear, listening to the dial tone while she sips on her coffee.

when he picks up, she props her elbow on the table and leans into her hand, her phone. her hair falls, shielding half of her face, and her gaze rests back on the vaporeon. almost like she's not calling the man standing twenty feet away from her. 

"hi," she says softly. "tulip's doing well. i think she'd like to thank you soon, for saving her."

what am i doing?

she swallows and grips the phone a little tighter. 

boruta maher

☉

he watched her pick up her phone, wondering if might be for him. in moments, his pocket was vibrating. he answered without hesitation, and he stared at her the whole time—as he had been.

but… still no permission to approach. no, maybe they were just going to have a conversation just like this. strange, but he’d take what he could get at this point.

her voice was nice to hear, at least.

”hey. how’s it goin’?”

tulip. that’s right. the stantler. he’d been wondering, but too self-conscious about the incident to ask. now, it seemed he’d obtained his invite. a smile broke across his face.

”i’d like to see her.”

willow atkins

☉

she's quiet. very little steam still curls from her cappuccino. and with the mug no longer warming her hands, the cold finds its way through. she coaxes nacho into her lap and settles her free hand under his chest. his purrs rumble over her. she smiles into the phone. 

"okay," she says. 

a beat. "you know, sometimes i used to think, before i changed my number, that one day my phone would vibrate and your face would be there. and i'd answer and pretend nothing had ever happened.

"and we would talk, like we used to. because i missed your voice, and the way you said my name." she tilts her head, but still she doesn't look at him. that would break the magic. that would make this real. all the consequences and all the obstacles between them would come back. 

it's selfish of her, but her lips are warm with a memory he shouldn't have given her. 

"i wouldn't ask you why you left and i wouldn't be angry with you. or sad. we would just...talk. you'd tell me about your day and i'd tell you about mine and you'd say, at the end, 'love you, will. see you soon.' and it'd all be okay. everything would be okay."

boruta maher

☉

nacho didn’t protest, going floppy in the legs like a ragdoll as he was lifted into willow’s lap. happy purrs continued, into the cloth of her shirt as the vaporeon nestled as close as possible. personal space no longer existed here.

bo hadn’t been prepared for the words that came out of the phone, hitting him in the head with more of the same guilty cocktail of emotions he had come to expect to feel when he thought of her. of them.

at first, he couldn’t speak. where his fingers had been idly skimming the seam of his pocket, where his weight shifted lightly on his knee, all froze.

his sense of grace had been let out the back door by a stroke of bad judgment, and now, talking feelings kind of felt like a life-or-death situation. one wrong move…

he wanted to say: ‘i do love you, will. i see you now.’

but he couldn’t.

”will…” he stared at her from afar, and his eyes welled up, threatening to overflow as he sniffed and blinked in vain. ”i’ll never be able to express to you how much i regret running away.” i loved you. i love you. ”i’m an idiot. i’m so sorry.”

willow atkins

☉

she doesn't really realize she's waiting to hear him say those words until he doesn't. and it's with a quiet acceptance that she swallows down those feelings, as she tells herself she's doing the right thing - moving on. she'll care for him, always, and they'll be tethered to each other through roman.

and they'll continue to heal, day by day, until being near each other doesn't mean thinking of all the once-wases or could-have-beens.

she smiles softly, tucks her hair behind her ear, and lifts her head. her eyes find bo, finally, as nacho twists against her, exposing his belly for more rubs.

"it'll be okay, bo. everything will be okay."

she tilts her head as she looks at him, standing there all frozen, clinging to his phone like it's his last salvation. and her heart gives a painful squeeze, but that's alright, too. reminds her that he's here, that she's not alone.

"i forgive you." for leaving and coming back and for kissing her and making her world turn upside down.

boruta maher

☉

everything will be okay.

soothing words he didn’t need to hear, but they touched him deeply. they were strong, forgiving. motherly, even. it was a moment of acknowledging the life she’d lived that he hadn’t seen, and the things she’d overcome, including his mistakes.

and she was consoling him, now?

a hand came up through his hair. his eyebrows rose on his face, wrinkling his forehead. it was overwhelming. as much as he wanted it, he couldn’t accept her forgiveness fully. he didn’t forgive himself.

”yeah, well… i’ll try not to fuck up again.”

he sighed, looking around for a second and clearing his eyes.

”can i come over?” when his gaze returned, nacho was rolling in her lap, hamming it up. ”over there, i mean. not your house.”

willow atkins

☉

"i believe in you," she says. and so much harder that one, harder than just i believe you. because she wants to believe more than the bo that's in this moment. she wants to believe the bo a day from now, a week from now, years from now. that he won't ever stop trying. that he'll never stop trying. 

"yeah," she adds softly, after a laugh. "yeah, i think you should." she hangs up and he's still some distance away. still enough bodies, still enough noise between them, where when the call ends and she's staring down at the face on her phone, she can test out the words, "i love you, dummy."

fingers curl. nacho hlao-roo?s at her since she's stopped her scritching. she scrunches her nose, pockets the phone, and taps the vaporeon on the nose. it sneezes. 

"you're a spoiled one, aren't you?" she looks up and bo is there. nacho seems content with where he is, but she breaks his heart by standing and gathering her things. 

"come on," she says to bo. "have time? i'm holiday shopping. you can help me pick out some things for ro."

boruta maher

☉

‘i believe in you.’ that felt nice, however, he wondered how much truth there could possibly be in it. still, he appreciated it. smiled.

”thanks.”

then she hung up, and seemed to be talking to nacho, who was still relishing in pet—but not for long. he sneezed and was disappointed upon being set down, staring up with dark purple eyes pleading for more attention. it was never enough.

’por!’

bo headed over, and nacho paid him no mind, unsurprisingly.

holiday shopping?

”oh.” he had time. he would make a call, make time—and he’d probably hear about it, but the idea of shopping for roman together, something they’d never done, something they should’ve done a lot by now, he supposed… was too great and too important to pass up.

”yeah, totally.” still holding his phone, he lifted it. ”uh… gimme just a minute.”

and he took some steps away again, the call was made, and his face hardly faltered before it slid back into his pocket, and he’d returned.

”ready?”

willow atkins

☉

and just like that, he makes time for her. she clasps her hands behind her back, watching him as he steps away to make a quick call. nacho twines around her legs while the pair of them wait. around them, holiday shoppers pass, slipping between them and around them. half of them look stressed, the other filled with the season's joy. 

some walk by with clasped hands, bags swinging at their sides. 

"yeah," she says when he lopes back over to her. she withdraws her list from her pocket and holds it out to bo as they walk. 

addie, gogoat soaps & parfums
mom, wooloo yarns (yellow & purple)
grace, ?? artisan materials
roman, ps5
stocking stuffers
candlenights candles

"i had some idea of where to start. now that you have time, did you need to get anything?" she asks.

boruta maher

☉

with nacho trotting along, they began to make their way down the sidewalk. as people passed by, many presumably doing the same thing, it was difficult not to notice couples. some, with free hands, clasped them together sweetly. he was envious, really.

he took the list.

”yeah, i want to get him some gloves and a bag.” he looked over, grinning. ”if that’s cool with you, of course.”

his attention went to the list, then.

”what’s question-mark question—oh damn, ps5?” he was amused and confused, and surprised. but, he wasn’t about to question it, or make any comments.

his eyes reached her again, expression a little goofy and unclear. ”you want any help with that?”

willow atkins

☉