the Harbinger
he/him
37
october 28th
circhester, galar
demisexual
underboss
the harbinger
I want corruption, I think I'm the devil in disguise.
TAG WITH @gavin
Cillian Quinn
come home
POSTED ON Feb 9, 2022 6:18:59 GMT
It's still raw, wounds fresh. So when Temp shifts, however subtly, Gavin draws back from him with eyes wide and full of a sharp panic. He holds his breath without realizing, expecting that his lover will move from the bed and from the room and from the house and from his life; he's said the wrong thing, again, done the wrong thing, just like he'd done with Theo.
The certainty of it is so overwhelming that it takes several seconds for him to register Temp guiding him into his arms, against his chest. Gavin clings like a drowning man to a raft, heart racing and fingers trembling.
I thought... I thought...
His lip quivers and tears prick his eyes, unshed, as he buries his face against Temp's bare chest and releases his held breath against his lover's skin. Weak, coward, comes the chant, louder in his trauma. He sniffles, brow furrowed at his own emotions as he struggles to rectify them with Temp's sweet words. How can he be considered strong when he's so fucking weak?
A strangled noise of frustration catches in his throat as he swipes at his eyes.
"S-Sorry," he mumbles, shaky, "I don't..."
He doesn't finish the thought. He holds so tight it's bound to be uncomfortable, as if Temp might slip away from him otherwise. Ordinarily, harsh words spoken of his father might've made him smile. Now, he barely hears them. He wants nothing more than to beg Temp to stay with him, to forgive him even though he's not the one who'd brought all this about. Pathetic, he tells himself harshly, but it's his father's voice he hears. Look at you, sniveling and crying like a child.
I am a child! he'd insisted back then, an offense that had earned him a stinging backhand. Now, he has no such stubborn defense. Surely that makes it worse, that he's in such a state.
"Damn it, why am I crying?" Said half to himself, another spiteful swipe at the tears. His eyes are red. "Fuck, I'm—" Sorry, he almost says again, but what comes out is, "—such a fucking mess."
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